“You know,” she said, “I would never write a script out of anger. It’s hard enough as it is to get independent financing.” The audience laughed, and her crew did, too. She could feel the support of Deborah, Victor, and Zack around her. “Filmmaking is first and foremost about storytelling. That’s what gets people into a theater. That’s why we’re all here. To me, this film tells the story of an artist who tried to make work that was meaningful, and at the same time really struggled with her personal happiness. In part because of the sexism of her time.

“But beyond that . . .” The theater was quiet even though there were twelve hundred people in it. “I don’t regret my marriage, not in the slightest. I learned so much from Steven. I learned things I never expected to learn.” The house lights were bright, and she shaded her eyes. “I guess you could say . . . you could say that Steven Weller made me the actress I am today.”

And then someone asked a question about camera lenses, and Maddy exhaled and faced her cinematographer.

Acknowledgments

In inventing the life of Maddy Freed, I found the following books influential and essential: Is That a Gun in Your Pocket?: Women’s Experience of Power in Hollywood, by Rachel Abramowitz; Rebecca, by Daphne du Maurier; The Yellow Wallpaper and Other Writings, by Charlotte Perkins Gilman; Natalie Wood: A Life, by Gavin Lambert; In Spite of Myself: A Memoir, by Christopher Plummer; and The Female Malady: Women, Madness and English Culture, 1830–1980, by Elaine Showalter.

A novel about an actress provides an opportunity to watch and rewatch great films. In particular I drew inspiration from Don’t Look Now, directed by Nicolas Roeg; Gaslight, directed by George Cukor; Inside Daisy Clover, directed by Robert Mulligan; Rebecca, directed by Alfred Hitchcock; and Repulsion, directed by Roman Polanski.

For research assistance, thanks to Howard Abramson, Angie Banicki, Gisela Baurmann, John Connolly, Annette Drees, Sara Gozalo, Detective Nils Grevillius, Lillian Hope, Franklin J. Leonard, Terry Levich Ross, Jennifer Levy, Sara Memo, Kelly Bush Novak, Lateef Oseni, Victor Pimstein Ratinoff, Brian Savelson, and Jamie Yerkes. For detail work and production assistance, thanks to Melissa Kahn, Sarah Nalle, and Ed Winstead. For productivity assistance, thanks to Fred Stutzman and Freedom for Productivity, the Brooklyn Writers Space, the Brooklyn Public Library, the Cambridge Public Library, and the Writers Guild of America East Writing Room.

Thanks to Rebecca Gradinger for inspiring this idea over tea at University Restaurant. Thanks to Ernesto Mestre-Reed and Will Blythe for being great critics and great friends. Thanks to Richard Abate for being my consigliere, reluctant driver, and tireless advocate, and to Jonathan Karp for believing in The Actress and seeing it to fruition. Special thanks to Millicent Bennett for deep thinking, attentive editing, structural help, and an extremely kind manner.

Most of all, thanks to my husband and my daughter, whose encouragement, patience, and laughter allow me to do what I love.