“Oh,” I said, feeling sorry for Grandpop’s little friend.
“And then a man came and started smacking Willie around, calling him names, saying that’s why…” Grandpop hesitated a moment and I had the feeling he was going to clean up the man’s language for my ears. “He said that’s why Negroes weren’t allowed in nice places, because they soiled themselves and such.You can just imagine how humiliating that experience was for Willie.”
It was an awful tale. I thought about how it would feel to be prohibited from entering the little corner store where I rode my bike to buy penny candy. I imagined a sign on the door that read No White Children Allowed. I imagined feeling desperate to pee and not being allowed in.
But I felt uncomfortable about the conversation, because Grandpop was telling me—not straight out, but he was telling me just the same—that my father was wrong. That he was prejudiced. My father was such a good and admirable person. It was hard for me to reconcile the man I loved and respected with a bigot.
“Dad wouldn’t ever…you know, tell a little boy who needed to use the bathroom that he couldn’t,” I said, desperately wanting my grandfather to agree with me.
Grandpop smiled at me. “You’re right about that,” he said. “Your daddy’s a fair man. But he’s really had no experience with colored people, so he just doesn’t know any better than to say what he said. People are prejudiced mostly because they don’t know any better.”
I felt relieved. For a minute, I’d been afraid that Grandpop didn’t like my father.
“Do you know that a lot of people thought your grandmother wasn’t as good as they were when she was growing up here in New Jersey?” he asked. “They thought she was stupid.”
“Why?” I asked, perplexed. “She’s not colored.”
“She’s Italian. She didn’t speak perfect English. To some people, that’s considered even worse than being colored.”
I thought I was lucky to have an Italian grandmother. She was sweet to my friends and she cooked fantastic lasagna and made cookies at Christmastime with almond flavoring or rose water. It was hard to imagine anyone not loving her.
I suddenly got another tug on my line, this one nearly pulling the pole out of my hands. Grandpop tucked his pole beneath his chair to hold it in place and came over to help me.
“You’ve got a good one this time, Julie,” he said.
He held the pole as steady as he could while I reeled in the biggest fluke I had ever seen come out of the canal. I was whooping and hollering, jumping up and down as the fish sprang out of the water and we pulled it over the fence and onto the sand. It flopped from its flat, brown, two-eyed side to its white side and back again, and Grandma and Mom came out of the house to see what the fuss was all about. Lucy came out, too, but hung back near the porch door, afraid of the fish or the hook or the water. It was anyone’s guess.
Mom and Grandma watched as Grandpop held the fluke and I carefully extracted the hook.
“He’s a beaut,” my mother said.
“You win, Julie,” Grandpop said, as I dropped the fish into our bucket. It was nearly too big to fit. “I’m going to go clean it right this minute.” That was the loser’s task, to clean the catch.
I felt satisfied with myself as I watched my grandparents and mother walk back toward the house, but all of a sudden, I sensed a presence behind me. I turned and there stood Ethan, just a few feet away from me.
“That’s the most gargantuan fluke I’ve ever seen,” he said. “Can I have its guts?”
The next morning, I was sitting on the bulkhead, using binoculars to watch the boats bobbing and weaving in the rough water beneath the Lovelandtown Bridge. Grandpop had not only cleaned what he continually referred to as the “biggest fluke ever caught in the Intercoastal Waterway,” but he gave me a pair of binoculars, as well.
“I’ve been saving them to give you for a special occasion,” he said. “But I think catching that fish was pretty special.”
I guessed it was my conversation with Grandpop that made me turn the binoculars on the colored fishermen across the canal. That’s when I saw the girl. She was standing close to the dock that separated the fishing area from the Rooster Man’s shack, and she was bending over, doing something with her pole, baiting the hook, perhaps. How old was she? I studied her hard, turning the little dial on the binoculars to try to bring her into better focus. I couldn’t see what she looked like very well, but she was my age, I felt sure of it.
I went into the garage and grabbed my fishing pole and bait knife, took one of the boxes of squid out of the refrigerator, hopped in the runabout and motored across the canal before I had a chance to think about what I was doing. I pulled into the dock near the girl. I felt nervous, but a little excited, too. Maybe she would have a sense of adventure. Maybe she could become my friend, the way Willie had been my grandfather’s friend. I was so tired of being by myself.
I tied the runabout to the ladder at the side of the dock, then climbed up to the bulkhead with my pole and my bucket, the binoculars still around my neck. There were six people all together. Near me were my hoped-for future friend, an older boy, a woman—probably their mother—and a distance away, three men. Every one of them turned to stare at me. All those black faces. I felt like I’d gotten out of my boat in Africa. I had never felt so white and out of place in all my life.
I had to force my legs to take the few steps to where the girl was standing.
“Hi!” I said to her, my voice far too loud and cheery. “What’s biting?”
The girl stared at me blankly as though she didn’t understand English. Her skin was very dark and she had large eyes in the same deep shade of brown. Her hair had a bunch of plastic barrettes in it, all of them shaped like little bows in different colors. She was shorter than me and maybe a little younger than I’d guessed. I thought she was cute, but she sure didn’t seem to have much to say and my greeting just hung there in the hot July air.
The older boy standing next to the girl narrowed his eyes at me.
“What you doin’ over here?” he asked.
“I just wanted to fish on this side of canal for a change,” I said with a nervous smile.
“We got enough trouble catchin’ fish for ourselves without you taking up space,” the boy said.
“Hush, George,” the woman said, moving closer and resting her hand on the boy’s muscular forearm. “I’m Salena,” she said. “What’s your name, sugar?”
“Nancy,” I lied. I looked at the girl who was close to my age. “What’s your name?”
“Wanda,” the girl said. Her voice was high and it rose up a little on the second syllable of her name.
“How old are you?” I asked.
“Eleven,” she said. I could barely remember being eleven, but I guessed it was close enough.
“I’m twelve,” I said. “Could I fish here next to you for a while?”
“’Spose,” she said.
“What you using for bait, Nancy?” Salena asked.
“Squid,” I said, reaching into my bucket. I cut off a bit of bait with my knife and ran my hook through it, my hands shaking the whole time. “What do you use?” I directed my question to Wanda.
“Bloodworms,” she said.
“I use them sometimes, too.” I baited my hook and cast carefully, not wanting to catch the hook in any of their heads and have them madder at me than they already seemed to be. Their hair was really different from mine. Salena and Wanda had stiff-looking hair even blacker than Isabel’s. Wanda’s stuck out from her barrettes in little pigtails all over her head. I couldn’t see the men very well because they were quite a distance from me, but George’s hair was extremely wiry and tight to his head. He was wearing a white T-shirt and baggy tan pants and he looked like he played a lot of sports, every bit of him thick and shiny with perspiration.
“Can you read?” I asked Wanda.
“’Course she can read.” George scowled. “You think we pick cotton all day or something?”
“Shut up,” Wanda said to George. Then to me, she said, “Sure I can read.”
“Have you read any Nancy Drew books?” I asked.
“Some,” she said.
I wasn’t sure I believed her. “Do you have a favorite?” I was testing her, unable to picture a colored girl reading Nancy Drew. I wondered what it was like to be colored and read a book entirely filled with white people. For that matter, what was it like for Wanda to read just about any book or watch any TV show? The only one I could think of with a colored person in it was Jack Benny’s show with Rochester, the butler, or whatever he was.
“Ain’t got no favorite,” Wanda said, reeling in her line, which was tangled up in a mass of seaweed. “I like them all.”
I was quite convinced she was lying now. How could she not have a favorite? “Well, my favorite is The Clue of the Dancing Puppet,” I said. “It’s new.”
“I ain’t read that one.” Wanda set the bottom of her pole in the sand and worked the seaweed loose. “I liked the one where she joined the circus.”
My mouth dropped open. “The Ringmaster’s Secret?” I asked.
“Yeah, with that—” she pointed to her wrist “—that horse charm.”
“Right,” I said. She actually had read it and I felt terrible for thinking otherwise. “My name’s not really Nancy,” I said to her, wanting to reward her honesty with my own. “It’s Julie.”
“Why’d you tell me it was Nancy?”
“’Cause I like solving mysteries, just like she did.”
“Ain’t no mysteries here,” George said. “So you can go back over your side of this here canal.”
“Shut up,” Wanda said to her brother again. She rolled her eyes at me. “You got any brothers?”
I shook my head, smiling.
“You lucky,” she said. Her worm was still on her hook, and with a forward motion, she cast the line into the canal again.
“You got a sister, though,” George said.
“I have two,” I said. “Lucy and Isabel.”
“Which one wears that bikini?” he asked.
“Neither,” I said, but I knew he meant Isabel, even though her bathing suit was not actually a bikini, since the bottom was big enough to cover her belly button. Pam Durant was the only girl I knew who wore an actual, navel-revealing bikini.
“You lie,” he said. “There’s one who wears that two-piece bathing suit. She sits out on the bulkhead sometimes, talking to boys in their boats.”
“That’s Isabel,” I said. “She’s seventeen.”
“She a fine-lookin’ woman,” George said, and the way he said it made me uncomfortable.
“Don’t talk about my sister that way,” I said.
“What way’s that?” he asked, grinning. He had the most perfect set of white teeth I’d ever seen.
“You know what way,” I said.
I thought I heard something, and I cocked my head, listening. There it was—the clucking sound of chickens. I looked over my shoulder toward the Rooster Man’s shack. It was barely visible for all the grasses and reeds surrounding it.
“Have you met the Rooster Man?” I asked Wanda and George.
“Who’s the Rooster Man?” Wanda asked.
There was a tug on my line. I pulled back, reeled it in a bit, but whatever had been there was gone. Most likely, my bait was gone as well, but I really didn’t care about fishing. I was making new friends.
“He lives in that shack.” I pointed to the ramshackle little building on the other side of the dock.
“I seen him,” Wanda said. “George and me went over there to fish one time and he chased us away.”
“I think he’s hiding something,” I said.
George laughed. “You just lookin’ for trouble, ain’t you, girl?” he said.
“He has a rooster and some chickens he just lets run all over his house,” I said.
Salena walked over with a big bowl of raspberries and offered me some.
“Thanks,” I said, taking a couple of the berries and popping them in my mouth.
“Your mama know you’re over here, sugar?” Salena asked me.
I shook my head. “No, but I’m allowed to go anywhere on this end of the canal,” I said, telling what I hoped was the truth. I knew I was allowed to take the boat anywhere on this end of the canal. No one had ever addressed my getting off the boat and visiting someone.
“Well, you ask next time, hear?” Salena said.
I nodded.
“Yeah, you say, ‘Hey, Mama, can I fish with dem niggahs?’” George said.
I was shocked he used that word. He looked at my stunned face, then broke into a laugh.
“Hey, girl,” he said. “I’m just razzin’ ya.”
Salena laughed, too, but Wanda looked at her brother with disgust. “You so retarded,” she said to him. Then to me, “He turned eighteen yesterday and now he’s more retarded than ever.”
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