I was pensive as I drove home. Then I began to realize that seeing me must have brought back the tragedy more vividly.

I mentioned this to Celeste.

She replied, “You noticed it too. I did not see Lady Greenham either. I was told that she was not well and was resting in her room. But Sir John... well, he hardly seemed overjoyed to see me.”

“I can understand it in a way. They were so friendly with my father and first he went... and now Joel. We must try to realize how they must be feeling. They don’t want to see anyone who reminds them. I had the feeling that I did not know the whole truth.”

 “What was there to know? He went out there full of promise and he came to this dreadful end. It’s a bitter tragedy for his parents.”

“Yes, I understand their feelings. But I hoped to hear something. Now it is left at Joel’s just going over there and then... disappearing.”

“Well, that is what happened. I think, Lucie, you will have to try to forget Joel. We both have to shut off the past. We’ve got to look ahead. Now those very nice people you met ... I think we could be really good friends. The girl is amusing and he is rather serious... but I like him for that.”

“I am glad you like them. I do, too.”

“Well, we’ll see how this dinner goes.”

It went extremely well; and after that the Fitzgeralds became frequent visitors to the house. They took us out to dine. Their pied-à-terre was not suitable for entertaining, they said.

Our pleasant friendship was developing fast.

To my great joy, Rebecca paid us a visit.

As soon as she had received my letter she had prepared to come to London. I could talk to her as I could to no one else, and I was soon confiding to her what had happened with Jean Pascal.

Her face darkened as she listened.

“Oh, you did well to leave, Lucie. It was absolutely the right thing and how lucky that those nice people were leaving at the same time.”

“I don’t think they planned to do so actually. They just put their return about a week forward so that they would travel with me.”

“Then I like them the more.”

“You’ll be meeting them soon. They have become great friends. Celeste, I am glad to say, likes them very much and so will you. I wrote to you at the chateau but I did not post the letter. I was asking you to come there and then of course I saw the Fitzgeralds the next day and realized I could leave with them.”

When I told her how Jean Pascal had tried to come into my bedroom, her face darkened. “How glad I am your door was locked! He is a man to avoid. I was quite worried when I heard you were going to France with him. I did think, though, that his main interest was in Belinda.”

“So did I. I think he is proud of his daughter. She is like him in lots of ways and she is, of course, very attractive.”

“And he really asked you to marry him!”

“I was astonished. Of course, he had been very considerate toward me all the time... and then that happened and I just wanted to run away.” She nodded. Then she said slowly, “A thought has occurred to me, Lucie. You could now be called a rich young woman, I suppose.”

“You think it was that ...”

“He is what he would call a realist. He was once going to marry a girl with royal connections... but that sort of thing has gone out of fashion in France. I always thought that was why the marriage was delayed and later abandoned. It may be that now he is ready to settle for a fortune. On the other hand, you are young and he would find youth very appealing at his time of life.”

“He said that he was in love with me.”

“He falls in love as naturally as he breathes. It doesn’t mean much more to him than the fancy of the moment. But to propose marriage... well, I don’t like it, Lucie. I can’t tell you how relieved I am that you had the good sense not to be fascinated by him.”

“I was repulsed.”

“I know. So was I. He made suggestions to me once. Oh no ... not marriage. He had the temerity and insolence to suggest that he could initiate me into the art of being more seductive to my husband. I was furious with him. And then... it was in High Tor ... he tried to rape me. It was to give me a taste of the irresistible pleasures which he could provide and which I was too stupid and unsophisticated, in his opinion, to know anything about.”

“How arrogant! He can be courteous and behave sometimes with such a sense of chivalry outwardly while he plans those things. He reminds me of the swan.”

“Swan?”

“Yes, there was one on the lake in the chateau grounds. It was beautiful ... so majestic. It gives an air of peace gliding there across the water. Then suddenly, it becomes vicious. One of the maids lost an eye when it attacked her-so he told me.”

“How absolutely terrible! I think it is a very good thing that you have come home. Now... Lucie. You have to look ahead. There must be no more brooding. It’s a mistake to live in the past. You have lost two people you love-cruelly and violently. But there are good things in the world. You’ve got to look for them.”

“I know, Rebecca, and I am going to try.”

She leaned forward and kissed me and, as I had all my life, I felt comforted by Rebecca. We knew that Rebecca’s stay would be brief as she could not leave her family for long. Two weeks was the most we could expect.

She said that when she left she was hoping to take me with her. I felt it would be restful to be at High Tor for a while.

When she met the Fitzgeralds she liked them very much. We saw them every day and a firm friendship was fast growing between the two families. They would come to luncheon or dinner and repay our hospitality with visits to the theater or the opera.

Rebecca said it had been a wonderful gesture of theirs to return home with me so that I did not have to travel alone. That was a test of friendship; and, of course, at that time I did not know them as well as I did now. And the more we knew them, the more our respect for them grew.

It was so pleasant, said Rebecca, to see a sister and brother so fond of each other; and it was rather touching to be aware of how they attempted all the time to look after each other. It had come about, of course, through the tragic loss of their parents. They were really very nice people. That was the general verdict.

I had almost made up my mind that I would go back with Rebecca when the letters came.

One was from Jean Pascal to Celeste, the other was for me from Belinda.

“Dear Lucie,” she wrote,

I am going to be married in six weeks’ time. Isn’t that exciting? Bobby insists.

He is so impatient.

He came down to the chateau as he had said he would and then we were officially engaged. There was a grand party to celebrate it. It was wonderful. Musicians playing in the great hall and in the gardens. Lots of grand people and mon pere displaying me with pride as his dear daughter. Nobody asked awkward questions as to where I had been all this time. They understand these matters in France. However, there I was, his dear daughter and her lovely fiancé.

Bobby is a darling. He does everything I want. He said he was sorry you weren’t here, and I told him how awful you had been... an absolute pig. After all we’d done for you... making a fuss of you... looking after you... and then you went off suddenly just because those people were going home. Bobby said he thought pigs were rather nice. He’s got a lot of them on his estate. But Bobby is like that. He likes everything. That’s because he’s so happy about us.

The fact is, we are coming home. Mon pere is giving Celeste instructions because I’m to be married in London. I wish it were here in the chateau... but mon pere says no. We have to remember Bobby and he couldn’t very well be married in France. So ... London it is. I shall need you to help me with my trousseau. I’ve decided on the wedding dress. It’s going to be ... no, I won’t tell you. You don’t deserve it after the way you’ve behaved. Mon pere will tell Celeste what has to be done. It will be the wedding of the year. That is what we intend to make it.

You are a silly old thing... just going off like that. Mon pere says you thought you were intruding. What a lot of nonsense! He said you were mistaken, but he understood your feelings and he has forgiven you for going off like that. I haven’t though. Never mind. You shall help me to get ready.

Isn’t it fun? We are coming home next week, and by the time you get this it will be very near.

Till then,

Belinda

Celeste was a little dismayed when she read her letter.

“This wedding is going to be rather a grand affair,” she said. “My brother wants me to arrange it.”

“I gathered that from Belinda. She seemed very happy.”

Celeste nodded and continued to look worried. “You’ll help, won’t you, Lucie?” I thought of the peace of Cornwall in Rebecca’s company which I had been contemplating but there was pleading in Celeste’s eyes.

“I shall if I am of any use ... of course.”

I was rewarded by the immense relief in her eyes.

The Fitzgeralds were very interested when I told them the news.

“Do you think we shall be invited to the wedding?” asked Phillida.

Roland looked shocked but Celeste said quickly, “You are invited now.” Phillida clapped her hands. “What a wonderful day that was,” she said, “when we met on the Channel ferry.”

Rebecca understood now that I should not be accompanying her to Cornwall. “But you will come later on,” she said. “It will be something for us to look forward to.”

Belinda arrived at the house with Jean Pascal. I was not looking forward to seeing the latter but when he appeared he was so gracefully charming, and no reference was made to my unconventional departure from the chateau.

I was glad, however, that he did not stay at the house although I expected him to be there frequently during the coming weeks.

Belinda was in a state of bliss. She chattered endlessly and the subject was always that of the imminent wedding. She had changed the venue of the honeymoon five or six times.

First it was going to be Rome. “The catacombs and all that. The Colosseum. We shall see where the Romans sent the Christians to the lions.”

Then a few days later: “I don’t know. I don’t think I want to see all those old ruins. But I believe there is rather a nice fountain. You throw a coin in and it means you will come back. I think I’d rather like that. But perhaps... Florence.” Then we heard of the glories of Florence for a few days until she thought of Venice.

“All those canals. Fascinating. Drifting along in a gondola with a handsome gondolier.”

“You shouldn’t be interested in handsome gondoliers... only in your new husband.”

“I shall have to make him jealous... now and then, don’t you think?”

“No, I do not.”

“Of course you wouldn’t... and what do you know about it?”

“Enough to know that it is not a very propitious start to a honeymoon for the bride to be planning conquests of other men.”

She put out her tongue at me as she used to do when we were children.

Finally Venice was the favorite.

“Doesn’t poor Bobby get a choice?” I asked.

“He just wants to do what I want.”

“I can see that he is determined to keep you contented.”

She loved that sort of banter and she could get it only from me, I believe she was fond of me in a way, just as I was of her. In spite of everything that had happened, there was a bond between us and it was impossible to break it.

The days began to slip by. There was so much to do and it all seemed so important that I have to admit that there were periods-quite long ones-when I stopped thinking of my father and Joel.

Celeste noticed and said it was the same for her. She said to me, “This wedding is good for us, Lucie.” And I knew what she meant.

“It’s an indication,” she went on. “It shows that ... in time ... we can grow away from the past.”

Jean Pascal had decided that it should be a grand occasion. I think he had become quite fond of Belinda. She amused him and he liked to be amused. She was really very attractive and that made him proud of her, I imagined. I wondered what Leah would have said to see her daughter now.

The wedding gown had arrived. It was beautiful and made of Valenciennes lace and satin; there was a wreath of orange blossom for her hair and her bouquet was to be made of gardenias.