Rachel Dyken - The Dare

When they got louder, I prayed. I finally understood what prayer was for. It was to ward off Grandmas in catsuits who thought they could rap. It was to save my soul from being possessed by her equally insane whorish grandson, and it was to keep myself from being caught up in the Titus family saga.

For some reason.

Even though I knew I wasn't Grandma Nadine's family.

Dread filled me to my core, suspicion turned into paranoia. I felt it in my body, in my very bones, in my soul if that was possible… I was her next target.

And it wasn't going to end well.

"Where is he?" The FBI agent sighed heavily. "Just tell us where he is."

Grandma grinned. "I imagine he could be in a great many places."

"Location, ma'am."

"Your ass."

He spit out his coffee again.

Ah, this was turning into a delightful afternoon!

"I'm running out of patience."

"And I'm running out of lipstick. So what else is new? Tell you what," Grandma leaned forward, "I'll make a bet with you."

"I don't gamble, ma'am."

"Well maybe," Grandma tapped her fingernails against the table, "it's time you did."

Beth

Grandma approached, only this time she wasn't wearing the catsuit. Somehow she'd changed into Victoria's Secret sweats and had magically appeared out of thin air.

"Let's go." Grandma grabbed Beth's hand.

"No." Jace stood his ground. "Listen, I appreciate the, uh, help, Grandma, but I'm going to go at it alone, alright? This is my home. I'm not going inside the airport only to be tricked into boarding a plane for Vegas and getting married. I'm not going to be part of your schemes, and I'm sure as hell not going to allow myself to be manipulated. I saw what you did to Jake. Hell, I participated. Not this time, Grandma."

"You're certain?" Grandma asked, a warm smile spreading across her wrinkled but pretty face.

"Yes."

"Fine." Grandma pulled out her cell and texted something then slipped it back into her purse. "Let's get a Starbucks. Beth, how would you like something warm to drink? Grandma will even slip in a bit of the vodka."

Going with Grandma meant getting away from Jace; it also meant drinking at 7:00 a.m. But who was I to judge? I looped my arm in hers and followed her into the airport.

Out of curiosity, and I swear it was nothing more than that, I turned and stole one last glance at my one-night stand also known as Thor or Mr. Senator. He was looking directly at me, a small smile at the corner of his mouth. I wanted to run back. But more than anything, I wanted to remember what it felt like to have his lips on mine, because the memory from high school wasn't enough. He'd been young, and years had a way of doing that to people. Ripping away the memories of a person until all you remember is the slightest of touches and how that one touch changed you forever.

That one touch had destroyed my idea of what a kiss should feel like. It took the movie-star and romance-novel kiss and turned it into something suddenly achievable. In ten minutes, Jace had taken my expectations and put them on a level that no man would ever meet.

He'd made me want to wait for the prince or the white knight. And every year that he'd been a no show, I'd collapsed a little more into myself. Because unlike other women, I knew it was possible. I'd experienced both the save and the kiss that followed, and even though I'd been only eighteen, it had stayed with me.

Hanging by a thread.

I hoped that this would banish the curse he'd put on me since my senior year. See? Look Beth? He's not perfect. If I looked really close I could see a slight limp, and I could have sworn there was a tiny scar by his eyebrow., And let's not forget that he probably has gas problems and halitosis.

I squeezed my eyes shut. I was going to give him a damn incurable disease if it was the last thing I did! He needed to be gone, so I could either move on with my own Prince Charming or adopt Charlie, the calico cat.

If I didn't hurry up and get over him and over the fantasy I'd created, I was going to turn into one of those creepy girls who stalks celebrities and tries on all their clothes and jewelry, convincing themselves that they're in a serious relationship.

I wasn't going to be one of those girls.

I refused to be Warren Bates.

So I kept walking.

And I didn't turn around again.

Not even when my entire body felt like it was shaking from the desire to do so.

My stomach clenched. Was it so wrong to want the fairytale? What was so bad about striving for more? Was I being punished for wanting the knight in shining armor to actually have a soul? Most men I'd met were either so shy they cried when I said hi or so boring that I did formulas in my head. The really good-looking ones? Well, they acted a lot like Char's new husband, Jake. Granted, he'd cured his own whorish nature by falling in love, but still. If the good-looking ones weren't gay, they were total players with no souls and the inability to attach to another human being.

I wanted a good one. I wanted to experience what it was like, just once in my adult life.

Just once before I finally gave up.

Thirty, but I figured if no man had been interested in the real me by now, I may as well throw my entire existence into my career, rather than waiting around for someone to rescue me from my castle.

"Dick!" Grandma yelled at the top of her lungs.

Horrified, I looked up.

The barista's name was Dick.

Heat flooded my face.

"Dick! Dick! Dick!" Grandma kept repeating as I slowly stepped away from her embrace. Only her wiry arm came out and pulled me against her body like glue. "It has been an age! An entire age! How are the kids?"

"Good." Dick smiled and shrugged. He looked around forty. "I can't complain. Now what can I get you lovely ladies?"

"Two GNs, extra shot of you know what."

"Got it." Dick grabbed two grande cups and began making the drinks. Then when the other barista wasn't looking, pulled a flask out of a cupboard and put a shot in each of the drinks.

My mouth dropped open. I'd thought she'd been kidding. Joking. As in, Hey, let's get wasted. Ha ha. Not seriously wanting to drink vodka!

He topped the drinks with whip and scooted them toward us.

"What's the damage?" Grandma leaned over the register and smiled.

"You know the special's always free, Nadine. Always." He winked and grabbed her hand, kissing it gently before nodding in my direction and asking for the next person's order.

Grandma handed me my drink and took a long swig of hers.

"How is it possible that you just ordered something that doesn't even exist on the menu?"

"Oh, but it does." Grandma placed her hand on my arm. "It's just complicated. It's like a hidden menu only for me. Howie knows what I like."

"Are you talking about Howard Shultz?" She was kidding, right? Was I getting punked? Light bulb. I was on the show Off Their Rockers! It was the only explanation.

"Oh look, there they are! And just in time."

Grandma took another sip as Travis, Kacey, Jake, and Char briskly walked through the airport, all of them totally oblivious that shit was about to not only hit the fan but fill the airport to the brim, until everyone within the vicinity suffered a slow smelly agonizing death via Grandma.

"And there he is…" Grandma's voice dropped as Jace walked briskly behind them, paparazzi taking pictures of him until Travis and Jake basically rescued him. Airport security removed the remaining paparazzi.

"What did you do?" I asked.

Grandma took another sip of hot coffee. "He still don't want me."

"Who?"

"The man upstairs." She sighed. "It seems my work isn't yet done. You'd think He'd be pleased. I mean, I basically saved the world."

"How do you figure?" This I had to hear. After all, I was curing cancer, how could what she'd done be any better than that?

"I saved the world from STDs. The way that grandson of mine was going, he was going to be solely responsible for coming up with a new strain. Mark my words. The little slut." She sighed. "But I love him. I may have ruined him, but Grandma fixed all the broken, whorish little pieces, and now look at him." She pointed. "Happy as a clam."

"Right." I backed away slowly.

Grandma's hand shot out and grabbed my arm. "Now drink your coffee and follow me."

"Do I have a choice?" I asked, looking around for a quick escape that wouldn't end up with me being hit by oncoming traffic.

Grandma paused and looked directly into my eyes. "My dear, we always have a choice. The question is never if you have a choice. It's whether your options are better on your own or with my help. Choices come and go. But chances? Only once in a lifetime." She winked. "So why don't you jump?"

"I don't like heights."

"I don't like loud breathers. Doesn't mean I smother people with pillows when I'm irritated," she joked. "Sometimes, my dear, we need a little push."

"Is that what you are? A little push?"

"Hell no." Grandma snorted. "The little push is your conscience. I'm a damn atom bomb. Now are you coming or not?"

I could go home. I could choose safe. I could choose white walls and a sterile environment. What I should choose was the exact opposite of what she was offering. But she was right about one thing: I'd probably regret not taking that old wrinkled hand in mine. So even though I was pretty sure I was making the biggest mistake of my life, even counting the time I tried to dye my hair bleach-blond, I grasped her like a lifeline and prayed to the Man upstairs that I wasn't going to be sent home in a body bag.

****

"I need to disappear for a while." Shaking, Jace let out a loud curse and looked like he needed Grandma's special coffee more than I did.

Grandma released my hand and pushed through her grandsons. "Did I hear someone say something about escape?"

A resounding groan was followed by four horrified faces as Grandma walked up to the ticket counter.

Grandma started firing off questions about her grandsons' honeymoons. I say honeymoons because Travis and Kacey had just gotten married, and in a very strategically set of planned events, so had Char — to Jake, the one she constantly referred to as the whorish grandson. Money had exchanged hands; a preacher, who will have to face consequences once he gets to heaven, married the couple without their knowledge. And the weird part? Jake and my sister Char were so happy it made me a little nauseated.

Char had gotten fired from her job, not that it mattered since the Titus family had more money than God, and now she was taking a honeymoon with Jake Titus, reformed playboy and GQ's Man of the Year.

Clearly, she'd gotten the looks in the family.

Whereas, I'd gotten the brains and less-than-stellar vision. Yay me.

"Beth! Beth dear! Come over here. I need your ID."

All eyes turned to me. Whoever said doing the walk of shame was, well, shameful, lied. This? Walking by both Titus brothers the morning after the wedding, looking like I hadn't slept and being with Jace? Let's just say it wasn't something I ever wanted to repeat. I felt naked. And not a good naked, where you feel free and happy and at peace with the world. No, it was a bad naked. The type of naked where people point and laugh, and you have nothing to cover yourself up with but your hands, and even then you only have two of them, so where's the justice in that?

I took a few steps toward Grandma and Jace. He looked too worried to be irritated that Grandma was manipulating. Maybe that's how she worked. She wore you down so much by the time she offered the little crumb that I'd like to refer to as the gateway drug into crazy land, you were so desperate to escape you didn't just take it and examine it. You freaking ate it and asked for more.

Damn.

I was eating her crumbs.

So was Jace.

"ID?" Grandma snapped.

I pulled my driver's license out of my purse and handed it over.

Jace rubbed his face with his hands.

"It seems the only seats we have next to one another that are available are in the back of the plane."

The ticket lady's pinched expression gave me the impression that they were bad seats.