“What do you mean?”
“I am going to have a child, Minelle.”
“Margot!”
“The ultimate shame,” she cried.
“If is not so much what one does as being caught in it. You see, James could have been my lover and that would have been a regrettable incident … to be hushed up and forgotten. But when there is living evidence of our liaison, what then? Shame. Disaster. Well, that is the story, Minelle. What am I to do?”
“Do Sir John and Lady Derringham know this?”
“No one knows but you … and me.”
“Margot, what can you do?”
“That is what I want you to advise me on.”
“What advice is there? You are going to have a child and there can be no hiding it.”
“It will be hidden. People have had illegitimate children in the past and hidden it.”
“How will you hide it?”
“That is what I must discover.”
“Margot, how can help you in this?”p>
“That is what I came to talk about.” I saw the fear in her eyes then.
“I’m afraid to go home … like this. Soon all will see it, will they not? And my father …”
In my mind’s eye I saw him as clearly as I had that first time in Derringham Manor. I could feel his lips hard against mine.
“Perhaps he will understand,” I suggested.
Margot laughed rather bitterly.
“He will have had his bastards, doubt it not. That is nothing . a bagatelle. But what is acceptable for a man like my father is the ultimate disgrace for his daughter. ”
” It is so unfair. ”
“Of course it’s unfair, Minelle, but what am I going to do? When I think of facing my father I feel like going to the top of the tower and throwing myself over.”
“Don’t talk like that.”
“I never would, of course. I am always so interested to know what is coming next. Minelle, let’s run away … you and I. The school is not going well, is it? I’ve heard them talk. Joel has gone. The lover who had to obey his parents rather than follow his love! Pouff!” She snapped her fingers.
“James … he was bold.
“We will become gipsies,” he said.
“I will make a fortune and we will live in a castle as grand as your father’s …” And then Sir John comes and he withers and is then only a frightened boy. I am not weak like that. Nor are you. We are not people to do something because it has always been done. We can make up our minds. We can fight. “
“You are talking nonsense, Margot.”
“What am I going to do, then?”
There is only one thing you can do. You must go to Sir John and tell him you are expecting a child. He is kind. He will help you and he will know what to do. “
“I’d rather tell him than tell my father.”
“Perhaps your mother will help.”
Margot laughed.
“My mother would not dare do anything. She would only tell him and I might as well do that.”
“What do you think he will do?”
“He will be mad with rage. I am the only child of the marriage. That infuriates him in itself. No son to carry on the great line-and my mother too weak and ailing and the doctors insisting that she must have no more children. So I am the hope of the house, I have to make a grand marriage. Although there was talk of Joel for me, I don’t think my father thought it was ideal. He was only considering it because of the troubles in France and he thought English estates might be useful in the near future. Well, now the hope of the house is about to bear a bastard and a groom is its father!”
She burst into loud laughter which alarmed me for it told me that for all her flippant talk she was on the verge of hysteria.
Poor Margot! She was indeed in an unhappy situation and as I saw it there was only one way out. She must tell Sir John and ask for his help.
She was against doing that and continued with wild plans for our running away together, but at length I impressed on her that this would be as futile as her elopement and when she left me she seemed a little calmer and I believe had made up her mind that the only possible action was to confess her plight.
The next day after school when I was putting the books away and trying to fight off the depression which had beset me when two more pupils had told me that morning that they were leaving at the end of the term, Margot arrived.
She had run all the way from the Manor and was breathless. I made her sit down and gave her a glass of my mother’s tonic which she had said was good for depression, and not until Margot had drunk it would I listen to her.
Then she told me that she had gone to Sir John and told him.
“I thought he. would die of shock. He seemed to think that although we were lovers and had planned to marry it was quite impossible that we could have behaved in what he called “this irresponsible way” He didn’t believe me at first. He thinks I am quite innocent and believe that babies are found under gooseberry bushes. He kept saying: “It cannot be so. It is a mistake. My dear Margot, you are such a child” I told him I was old enough to have a baby and to do beforehand that which was necessary to produce one. The way he looked at me! I could have laughed if I had not been a little frightened. Then he said what I knew he would.
“I must tell your parents at once.” So you see, Minelle, what you have done. Through your advice we have brought about the very thing we wanted to avoid. “
“It was impossible to avoid it, Margot. How could you keep such a secret from them? It’s not as though it is merely a matter of having a baby. After its birth the baby will be there. How could you cope with that … without their knowing.”
She shook her head.
Then she looked at me steadily, her enormous dark eyes like brilliant lamps in her pale face.
“I dread facing him,” she said.
I could well believe that, and I did my best to comfort her. Her nature was such that she could be in the depth of despair and shortly afterwards sparkle with joie de vivre. She laughed a good deal but there was often hysteria in that laughter and I knew she was terrified of her father.
She did not leave for France at the appointed time. She came to the schoolhouse to tell me that her father was coming to England and that she was to stay at the Manor until he arrived. She had now assumed an air of bravado, but i wondered how deep it went. Poor Margot! She was in great trouble.
It was Mrs. Manser who told me that the Comte had arrived at the Manor.
“I reckon,” she said, ‘that he has come to take Mademoiselle home.
She’ll have a talking-to and no mistake. Imagine the Comte’s rage at his daughter going off with a groom! “
“I can well imagine it.”
“My word! He’s a gentleman who has a high opinion of himself. You’ve only got to see him riding round to know that. And his daughter thinking she was going to marry James Wedder! I never heard the like.
It don’t do, you know. God put you where you are and that’s where you should stay to my mind. “
I was in no mood to listen to her homilies and when she invited me back to supper I pleaded too much school work.
“How’s the school going, Minelle?” Her forehead was creased into lines of anxiety but her mouth betrayed a certain satisfaction. In her opinion it was not right for women to be anything but wives and the less profitable the school was the sooner I should come to my senses.
She wanted to see her Jim settled with a wife of her choice (and oddly enough I was that) and little ones running about the farm, learning to milk cows and feed the hens. I smiled, picturing my mother’s distaste.
Soon after Mrs. Manser had gone a messenger came from the Manor. My presence was requested there and Sir John and Lady Derringham would be pleased if I came without delay. It was almost a summons.
I thought it must be something to do with the departure from the school of Maria and Sybil. Perhaps they were not going to see the term through but were leaving at once With some trepidation I realized that the Comte would be there. But it seemed hardly likely that I I crossed the lawn, passed the sun-di hall. One of the footmen told me that for me in the blue drawing-room and he without delay. He opened the door and saw Sir John standing with his back to leaped and started to pound uncomfor
I was at the window, looking out.
“Ah, Miss Maddox,” said Sir John.
The Comte swung round and bowed.
“I dare say you wonder why we have here,” said Sir John.
“It concerns this Marguerite. The Comte has a propositior I am going to leave you with him that He indicated a high-backed chair faci sat down.
As the door shut on Sir John, the Co window seat and folding his arms re gar “Since, Mademoiselle Maddox, you’s little better than I speak yours, it might this conversation in French. I want you the nature of my proposal.”
“If I should fail to understand I shall A faint smile touched his lips. Mademoiselle, for you are very know led tres sing affair of my daughter. What shame … for our noble house.”
“It is certainly unfortunate.”
He spread his hands and I noticed ag ring and the exquisite white lace at th “I do not intend to allow it to be moi need. I must tell you that I have no soi one who may well have to carry on ou must prevent that.
But first she must p tard . this son of a groom. He shal name. “
I reminded him that the child might be “Let us hope it will be so. A daughter But first we must consider what must must be born in obscurity. I can arra will go to a place. I shall find for her. St. This or That … and she will have a companion with her.
Marguerite will be a widow in some distress because her young husband was killed in an accident. Her kind cousin is looking after her. The child will be born, put with foster parents, and Marguerite will return to her home and it will be as though this unfortunate matter had never happened. “
“It seems an easy solution.”
“Not so easy. It will need some planning. I do not like these secrets in families. This is not the end of the matter … with a child who will be there for the rest of its life. You see, Mademoiselle, I am very uneasy.”
That I understand, of course. “
“You are a very understanding young woman. I knew it from our first meeting.” A smile touched his lips and he was silent for a few moments. Then he went on: “You are puzzled, I can see. You wonder where you come into this. Now I will tell you. You will be the cousin.”
“What cousin?”
“Marguerite’s cousin, naturally. You will accompany her to the place I shall find for you. You will look after her, be with her, make sure she does not act foolish again-and I shall know that she is in good hands.”
I was so astonished that I stammered: “It … it’s impossible.”
“Impossible! That is a word I do not like. When people say to me Impossible, I then decide that I will show it to be possible.”
“I have my school.”
“Ah, your school. That saddens me. I hear it is not doing as well as it should.”
“What do you mean?”
He spread his hands and somehow managed to convey that he was distressed by my misfortunes while the curve of his lips showed that he found my plight amusing . and a little gratifying. This is a time for frank speaking,” he said.
“Mademoiselle Maddox, I have my need. You have yours. What will you do when the school becomes a liability rather than an asset, eh? Tell me that.”
There is no question of that arising. “
“Oh come, did I not ask for plain speaking? If you will forgive my bluntness, you are not the mature figure your mother was. People hesitate. Shall I send my daughters to a school where the Principal … the only teacher … is little more than a girl herself? Look what happens. One pupil runs off with a groom.
Would that have happened while your mother was in charge? “
“Your daughter’s elopement has nothing to do with the school.”
“My daughter spent many hours with you at your school. There she gossiped and told her love secrets, I do not doubt. Then she elopes with the groom. It is a disaster for her … for us … for you and the school. Particularly when I hear some gossip that the son had to depart on the Grand Tour somewhat hastily on your account.”
“You are … offensive.”
“I know. To tell you the truth it’s part of my charm. I cultivate it.
It is so much more attractive than geniality. Particularly when I am speaking the truth, and that is, my dear Mademoiselle, that you are in an uneasy situation . and so am I. Let us be friends. Let us help each other. What will you do when the school no longer provides you with a living? You will become a governess, I’ll swear, to some hateful children who will make your life a misery. But you might marry.
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