When Perigot had gone toe Comte sat by my bed and we talked. He said what had happened was clear. Etienne had always hoped to be legitimized and made heir to the estate and title. And so he would have been if there had been no legitimate son.

“Of course,” he said, ‘they know of my feelings for you and he began to be afraid. He guessed rightly that I intend to marry you and if you and I had a son-which we fully intend to do, do we not? his hopes would be completely blighted. Therefore you presented the threat. It’s clear, isn’t it? “

Where is Etienne? “

“He was at the chateau looking after estate duties. Armand will have gone to him to tell him of the failure of their plan. I doubt he is at the chateau now, for he will know that I am fully aware of what he has done. He will never dare show his face to me again. It is the end for Etienne. And now there is only one thing to be done. You and I shall marry without delay.”

I cried out in protest. I thought of my conversations with Joel.

Though I had not promised to marry him I had not completely refused him. How could I go straight to another man and marry him? Besides, when I thought of marriage, fears and doubts raised their heads once more. The Comte was horrified at Etienne’s attempt to murder me, but what of the death of Ursule? Had she not died because she stood in the way of what he wanted, just as I had seemed to stand in Etienne’s way?

“Why not?” he demanded fiercely.

“I am not ready,” I replied.

“What nonsense is this?”

“Not nonsense, sound good sense. I have to be sure.”

“Sure? You mean you are not sure?”

“I think I am, but there is much to consider. There must be in such a serious undertaking as marriage.”

“My dearest Minelle, there is only one thing to consider in marriage and that is whether two people love each other. I love you. Have you any doubts of that?”

“It may well be that we do not mean the same thing by love. I know you want to be with me, make love with me … but I am not sure that is being in love.”

What is, then? “

“Sharing a lifetime together, mutual respect, understanding. That is important, not the excitement of the moment. Desire, by its very nature, is transient. Before I married I should want to be sure that the man I married was the right father for the children I should have, that he was a man who would share my moral code, a man I could look up to and whom I could trust to be a good father to my children.”

“You set a high standard,” he said.

“I believe the schoolmistress cannot resist setting her suitors an examination.” “It may be so. And perhaps the schoolmistress is not the right wife for a man with a roving eye and a love of adventure.”

“My opinion is that she is just the right wife for him. Let us have an end to this nonsense. I will get a priest to marry us within a few days.”

“I must have time,” I insisted.

“You disappoint me, Minelle. I thought you were adventurous too.”

“You see, I am right. I disappoint you already.”

“I would rather be disappointed by you than pleased by any other woman.”

“That is ridiculous.”

“Is that the way to talk to your lord and master?”

“I can see that my proud spirit would never succumb. Oh, how wise I am to consider these things before rushing headlong into a marriage which could be disastrous.”

“It would be exciting disaster.

“I would give up the excitement to avoid the disaster.”

“You enchant me … you always do.”

“I can’t think why, when I never agree with you.”

“Too many people have agreed with me … or pretended to. It becomes monotonous.”

I prophesy that disagreement would become equally monotonous and less pleasing to you. “

Try me. Please, Minelle, try me. Listen, my love. Perhaps even now it is too late. The faubourgs are preparing to rise. They are coming against us. Let us enjoy life while we can. “

“Whoever comes against you, I must have time,” I insisted.

He sat by my bed for a long time. We did not speak much but he was silently pleading, I knew. I wavered. So much I wanted to say: “Yes, let us many. Let us have a little happiness together,” but I could not forget walking with Joel, talking with Joel, and perhaps most of all the memory of my mother.

I said suddenly: “Was a message sent to Grasseville to tell them where I was?”

He said that had been taken care of.

“Thank you. They would have been anxious.”

I closed my eyes, feigning sleep. I wanted to think, but of course my thoughts led me nowhere but back to the perpetual question.

It was the fourteenth day of July a date in France no one will ever forget. My arm was still bandaged but I was otherwise quite well and it was merely a matter of waiting for the wound to heal.

During the previous day there had been a hush over the city. The weather was hot and sultry and I had the impression that a great beast was crouching, ready to spring.

My own state of mind was tense. In a short time two attempts had been made on my life. One cannot pass through such ordeals unscathed.

I wanted to get away and be alone for a while. In such a mood I put on a light cloak and went out As I passed through the narrow streets I was aware that furtive glances came my way. Members of the King’s guards walked about uneasily.

In the distance I could hear the sound of singing.

Someone caught my arm.

“Minelle, are you mad?”

It was the Comte. He was soberly dressed in a brown cloak and a tall hat with a brim such as that which had been worn by Perigot. People now took the precaution of never being conspicuously well dressed in the streets.

“You should never have come out. I have been looking for you. I understood you had come in this direction of the Pont Neuf by the Quai de L’Horloge. We must go back at once.”

He drew me close to the wall as a party of young men-possibly students came running past. Their words made me shiver: “A bos les aristocrates. A la lanterne.”

We walked swiftly past. I was trembling, not for myself but for him. I knew that however homespun his garments he could never disguise his origins and none would mistake him long for anything but the man he was.

“We will go back at once,” he said.

Before we reached the Faubourg Saint-Honore, pandemonium had broken forth and the whole of Paris seemed to have gone mad. There was shouting and screaming in the streets. People were rushing backwards and forwards, joining mobs, chanting, shouting: “A la Bastille.”

“They are going to the prison,” said the Comte.

“My God, it has begun.”

We reached the Faubourg Saint-Honore in safety.

“You must leave Paris without delay,” he said.

“It will be unsafe to stay here. Change your clothes as quickly as you can and come down to the stables.”

I obeyed him. He was waiting impatiently for me there. He had given orders that those who could should leave the house, but not in a body, gradually. It must not be noticed that they were leaving.

He and I rode south in the direction of the chateau. It was night when we arrived.

As we stood in the hall he turned to me sadly and said:

“You left it too late, you see. The revolution has begun. You must leave for England at once. For God’s sake do not speak French, for you do it so well that the uneducated might mistake you for a Frenchwoman and you carry yourself in such a way that they would regard you as an enemy of the people.”

“What of you? You will escape to England?”

He shook his head.

“This is but the beginning. Who knows, there may yet be time to save the cnmibling regime. It is not for me to leave the sinking snip, Minelle. There is work for me here. I shall return to Paris. I shall go to see the King and his ministers. It may be that all is not lost. But you must go at once. That is my first concern.”

“You mean … leave you?”

For one moment there was such tenderness in his face that I scarcely recognized him as the man I knew. He held me close to him and kissed my hair.

“Foolish Minelle,” he said.

“Procrastinating Minelle. Now we must say goodbye. You must go and I must stay here.”

“I will stay,” I said.

He shook his head.

“I forbid it.”

“So you will send me away?”

He hesitated for a moment and I saw the emotions battling with each other. He believed now that if I stayed we should become lovers because that was what happened to people in desperate situations when death could be close at hand. They clutched at what life had to offer.

But if I stayed I should be in danger.

He said firmly: “I shall make immediate arrangements for you to leave.

Perigot has proved that he can be trusted. He will take you to Calais and you will leave tonight. There must be no delay. “

So this was how it had ended. I had been unable to decide for myself and the revolution had decided for me.

Darkness had fallen. I was preparing to leave. In the stables my horse was ready. The Comte had said my departure must be as quiet as possible.

“I shall have no peace while you are here,” he said. ‘you stand a good chance of escape with Perigot to guide you. Don’t forget, do not speak French unless it is necessary. Stress your nationality. It will carry you through. The people have no quarrel with foreigners. This is a war between Frenchmen and Frenchmen. “

I argued with him. I wanted to stay. Twice I had come near to death. I was ready to risk it again. Anything rather than leave him.

He was moved but adamant

“Ironical,” he said, when there was no danger you hesitated. You wanted to be sure, didn’t you? You didn’t trust me. Nothing has happened to establish that trust . and yet you are ready to risk your life to stay with me. Oh, perverse Minelle! “

I could only plead with him.

“Let me stay. Let me take a chance. Or come with me. Why should you not come to England?”

He shook his head.

“I am too involved here. I could not desert my colleagues. France is my country. She is about to be torn asunder. I must stay and fight for what I believe to be right. Listen, Minelle.

When it is all over I will come for you. “

I shook my head sadly.

You do not believe that? You think I will have forgotten you? I tell you this: whatever happens in the future . j whatever has happened in the past, I love you. You are the l only one for me . and although you do not know it yet . I am the one for you. How different our lives have been! We have lived by different codes. You have been brought up as a good Christian woman.

I .well, I have lived in a decadent society. It never occurred to me to consider whether I had a right to’ behave as I did. Not until I killed a child did I begin to take a little stock of myself, and then my environment was too strong for me. I reverted to type. When you came, I changed. I wanted a different life. You made me see everything in a new light.

You showed me how to see life through your eyes. I want more lessons, little schoolmistress, and only you can teach me. “

“Then I will stay. I will marry you and stay with you.”

“If I married you now you could become the Comtesse Fontaine Delibes.

That would not be a very good name to have in this new France. God knows what they will do to us, but it will be revenge . bitter and cruel. That I am sure of. The last thing that must happen to you just now is that you become one of us. There is only one course open to you now. You must go. It is too late for anything else. Come, we are wasting precious time. Goodbye, my dearest. No, au revoir. We shall meet again. “

I clung to him. Now I was sure. I belonged with him. I never wanted to leave him. I did not know whether he had killed his wife or not and in that moment I knew I could not have changed my feelings towards him even if he were guilty.

“Perigot is waiting in the stables. There must be no delay.”

He put his arm about me and we went out into the hot night air.

As soon as we approached the stables I knew that something was wrong.

I was aware of watching eyes, a movement, the sound of heavy breathing. He was aware of it too. His grip on my arm tightened as he drew me hastily towards the stables. Then suddenly there was a shout.

“He’s here. Take him now.”