Jessica Sorensen - The Forgotten Girl

It will, though. But you need to calm down. Panicking’s not going to get us anywhere.

“But I want out. I want to breathe the fresh air again. Want to be out of this place.”

“You will be,” she promises as I turn around and sit down on the cement floor with my head resting against the door, tucking my damp blond hair behind my ears. I stare at the scribbling on the wall. The sentence that I wrote over and over again: I’m not a killer. I’m not a killer. I’m not a killer. “Just trust me. I know a way to get us out, but it’s going to have to be me.”

“Why?”

“Because you don’t have it in you to escape—you never have. Remember what happened last time.” As she says it, she shows me images of the things she could do to get us out. They make me sick. Disgust me. But a lot of the things I’ve done here make me feel the same way.

So I make a choice, but it doesn’t even feel like a choice. It feels like it’s the only thing left to do. So I shut my eyes and let her take control over me. Seconds later, the place is on fire and I’m running through the forest, barefoot, cold. But finally free.

Maddie

Someone stabs me in the arm and I’m jerked awake, my eyelids shooting open. I quickly sit up, backing away from Preston, like a cornered cat hovering against the wall. My hair stands on end and my pulse is racing as the room spins round and round in magical colors. “Don’t touch me,” I snap, aware that my face is covered in tears. I’ve been crying. I’m shaking. I’m terrified. “Don’t you fucking dare touch me!” My voice sounds like an echo that bounces off the walls and slams back against me.

Preston’s eyes are wide and full of concern as he tosses something aside… I squint and try to see what it is, but my vision is blurry. He elevates his hands in front of him. “I’m sorry. But you were screaming and crying and I couldn’t wake you up…. “What happened? Please, tell me what you saw.” He’s too close. I can’t breathe. Can’t process if I’m in reality now or if I was just a minute ago.

It takes me a minute to catch my breath. Takes me a minute to realize I’m not locked behind that door or shooting someone or running in the woods. In a burning building, letting Lily shoot a man… or me shoot a man and blaming it on Lily.

“I have to go,” I slur as I attempt to climb off the lounge chair but end up stumbling and Preston has to catch me in his arms. We crash into the wall and his framed degree falls to the floor and the glass breaks. “I need to go.. get out of here...”

“Maddie, please just wait a minute.” Preston holds me in his arms as I blink and blink and blink, trying to get the room to stop twirling like a merry-go-round on crack. “We need to talk about what just happened.”

“Nothing… happened.” I wiggle out of his hold and stumble over to the chair. I pick up my bag and sling it over my shoulder before staggering over to the door.

“Maddie, would you please—”

I stumble into the hallway and slam the door closed before he can say anything else. Then I take off, but only make it a few steps before I have to brace my hand on the wall. I hear Preston coming up behind me and he says something in my ear.

“What did you do to me?” I mutter, my skin dripping with sweat as I reach the exit door and burst through it out beneath the clouds and the trees. My mother’s already rushing toward me with her phone in her hand. Preston probably already called her.

I fall to my knees on the sidewalk, feel the skin split open, feel blood gush out, saturate my skin, like so much other blood has.

“What did you do to her?’ My mom asks furiously as she storms across the parking lot toward us.

“She had an episode,” Preston says, his shadow casting over me. “I had to give her a sedative to calm her down.”

“No…” I fight to keep my eyes open as I put my hand on the concrete and hunch over. “Sedative… was it… you?”

They exchange words, but I can barely comprehend anything they say. Then somehow they get me to my feet and into the car. My mother buckles me in, gently pushing me down while I try to get out. Then she shuts the door and talks to Preston for a while in front of the car as my surroundings fade in and out.

By the time she gets in, I can hardly keep my eyes open. “Mother… who’s… Evan…” I turn my head toward her, examining her reaction the best that I can.

Her eyes widen as she stops pressing on the gas and the car gradually keeps rolling forward toward the curb. She shakes her head about a hundred times. “I have no idea.”

I touch my side where the scar is and try to say something about the tattoo, but I can’t find my voice. My head slumps back and I’m jerked back into dreamland, unsure who I’ll be when I open my eyes again.

Lily

Her eyes shut for only a few minutes, exhausted from fighting the crap that they injected into her veins, along with the shit she saw while she was under. She never was good at the emotional stuff and that’s why she had me to help her out. I’ve always been there for her—I’m slowly remembering now. She’s growing weaker, but maybe that’s because she’s seeing the truth more and letting the strength within her rise. The strength being me. It’s why she chose to create me, after her sister, the stronger of the two.

It takes me a while to shake off the drugs, but I’m stronger and wake up sooner. The second I get control, I get to my feet. I need to get out of here. Now. I can’t take being imprisoned again by anyone. It’s time for me to take matters into my own hands and figure out some stuff. Like what Preston and her mother are hiding from her. Who Evan is. Why there’s so much fire in our memories. Why I was running through the trees that night and in front of a car. Whatever it was, has something to do with the driver. He knew me, knew me enough to know my protective instincts are to kill. But somehow he knew I wouldn’t kill him, even though I was acting like it.

I get up from the floor and make my way out of the room, picking up the key Maddie found in her mother’s room on my way out and slipping it into my pocket. It’s dark, only a few lights on in the house. I can hear the television on in my mother’s room. She’s awake. Good.

I rap my hand on the door, deciding how to go about this. Should I just pretend or fuck with her head. I’ve never liked her much and am pretty sure she knows about my existence. I’m not really sure why she won’t admit it. I wish I could find out what she doesn’t want me to find out. And hey, maybe one day I’ll torture it out of her. It could be therapeutic.

The television turns down and moments later my mother opens the door, tying her robe. Her hair is up in a messy bun and without any makeup on she looks aged.

“Are you okay?” she asks with concern in her eyes. “I’m sorry Preston had to use a sedative on you today, but he’s just worried about you and so am I. You haven’t been sleeping very well and he said you had a little episode when he put you under hypnotherapy today.” She squints at my face. “You look like you feel a lot better, though.”

“Oh, I am,” I assure her.

“Good.” She seems thrown off by my indifference.

“I need to leave the house,” I say calmly with my arms resting at my side. “And need you to come unlock the alarm so we don’t draw the police here.”

She shakes her head, her face reddening with anger. “You’re not allowed out when it’s so late, especially when you were so upset earlier and you’re probably still going to feel a little groggy from the sedative.”

Patience, I tell myself. “There’s somewhere I need to be.”

She steps forward, to intimidate me, but she’s scared of what I’ll do to her. Maddie doesn’t see it clearly, but I do. She’s afraid I’ll hurt her and I’m guessing I have once in the past. I’m guessing that’s why she kept who I used to be hidden. The blond in the photo, the girl who was once me, not her sister. I understand that, can see past the blindness unlike Maddie sometimes.

She raises her chin, appearing confident. “Maddie Asherford, you aren’t going out and that’s final.”

My patience vanishes. “Oh dear Madison, how ridiculous you are,” I say and her face drains of color. I think she knows who I am. I’ve suspected all along that she might have; the obsession to make her daughter good based on the fact that she knows me and what I’m like. “You better be ready.”

“F-for what?” she stammers, her knees wobbly and she almost falls to the floor. She has to grab on to the sides of the doorframe for support.

I let a slow grin expand across my face then turn away toward the front door. She follows me, demanding for me to stop, but I disregard her, walking out of the house. The alarm screams and she starts shouting at me over the loudness. I shrug her off and go outside into the cold air and walk away beneath the stars and the crescent moon. By the time I reach the end of the driveway, the alarm has silenced. I pause, waiting to see if she comes out of the house, but she doesn’t. She just stares at me from the window and I can picture how relieved she looks that I’m out of the house.

Smiling at her, I give her a little wave and then stroll out into the night, breathing freely.

Maddie

As soon as I realize I’ve fallen asleep, I jump up in a panic. They drugged me. Preston drugged me and I fell asleep and I… no… My anxiety goes up a notch when I realize I’m lying on the floor on my side in front of the mirror, surrounded by mud tracks. There’s also mud on my skin, my clothes, my hair. My shirt is torn and I have a cut on my finger. And the worst part is my hair is blond, like in the pictures. I’ve transformed overnight into someone else.

Into Lily.

“You dyed my hair.” I shake my head in denial as I touch strands of it. “No… I didn’t… this is just a dream.”

“More like a nightmare,” my reflection says from the mirror, looking just as wrecked as me, yet in more control. “Calm the fuck down, would you? It’s not as bad as it seems.”

I narrow my eyes as I let go of my hair. “What did you do?” I ask, sitting up and tucking my legs under me. “While I was out?”

She rolls her eyes. “I didn’t do anything, except…” She pauses and it’s the longest pause ever. “Well, your mother might be a little upset with you today, more than she already was.”

I clamber to my feet. “What did you do to her?”

She shrugs, but there’s a wicked glint in her eyes, “Honestly, do you really care?”

I briefly pause, deciding. The good rises in me and I dash out of the room and down the hallway. “Mom,” I call out. “Mom, are you here!” I reach her door and try to turn the doorknob, but it’s locked. “Mom, are you okay?” I ask with a desperate knock.

It takes three more knocks before I hear her moving toward the door. She doesn’t open it, but just says, “I’m fine. Now go back to bed.”

“Okay, but…” I scratch my head, wondering why she won’t unlock the door. “You’re okay, right?”

There’s a pause. “Yeah, I’m fine.”

It gets quiet, but I think she’s still standing on the other side of the door. I wait for her to say something about the sedative, thinking maybe I should say something, but Lily tells me not to worry. That she already took care of it.

I always take care of you.

I wander back to my room and shut the door. “What did you do?” I ask aloud, noticing that my window’s wet. It’s been raining outside, the grass is muddy and the streets are puddled. Lily’s been outside somewhere, doing God knows what.

Of course, she decides to play the silent treatment and doesn’t respond. I check the time—four thirty in the morning. I’ve been out for twelve hours. She could do so much in twelve hours. I have to check—have to know. Reaching into my pocket, I hold my breath, waiting to see if I feel a button. I exhale loudly when I don’t feel anything and move my hand to the other one. There is something in this one, but not a button. A piece of paper. I pull it out. No, not paper. A photo of a man. In the picture, he’s just sitting there staring at the camera. Brown hair. Dark eyes. Maybe in his thirties. Not smiling. Not frowning. Not anything. He looks hollow empty. Yet he makes me feel full of emotions I never knew existed inside me and with no control of my own, tears flood from my eyes. I cry for what seems like forever, my shoulders shaking, my body frozen in fear, my heart beating a million miles a minute. Fear. Fear. Fear.