I shrugged his enquiries aside. “I don’t think it’s anything. I just feel tired, listless sometimes, and a little dizzy in the mornings.”

“You should see a doctor.”

“I don’t think it’s bad enough for that.”

“You should see him. You must.”

“Perhaps I will.”

“Is there anything else, Jane?”

I hesitated; then I told him of the figure I had thought I saw.

“You must have been dreaming.”

“Of course, but it seemed so real and I actually thought I was awake.”

“Some dreams are like that. It must have been a dream. What else?”

“I don’t know… except that Lottie is always talking about dragons and I thought I saw one.”

He smiled at me gently and I thought how kind his eyes were, how gentle and how I could explain to him what I could not to Joliffe.

With Joliffe I always wanted to be all that he desired me to. Joliffe hated sickness.

“It was a dream, Toby,” I said. “It must have been for if it wasn’t it was a hallucination. It seemed that I was awake. That’s what worried me.”

Toby smiled at me gently.

“Perhaps you had a high temperature,” he said, “and this image came into your semiconsciousness. It’s nothing, but I still think you should see a doctor.”

“Perhaps I will,” I said.


* * *

But I didn’t. I couldn’t bring myself to. It sounded so foolish. To be disturbed by a bad dream. The farther I grew from it the more it seemed like a dream on waking. That was what it was.

I did not need to go to the doctor: I could cure myself. I would cease to be afraid. That was what was at the root of my trouble. Fear. I had become too concerned about the legends which abounded here. This talk of bad joss, of goddesses losing face and turning their wrath on those who had ignored their code, had had its effect on me, and all because I could not stop certain questions coming into my mind. Sylvester… what had really been wrong with him? What had Bella really felt when she had stood at the window and thrown herself down? Why had her life become intolerable?

And now Bella was dead and Joliffe was married to me and I was a rich woman. I controlled many interests; and when I died these would pass into Joliffe’s hands because he would hold them in trust for Jason. After I had made those arrangements in secret I had begun to feel ill.

These were thoughts that were chasing themselves round and round in my mind; this was why I had reduced myself to a state of nervousness as I asked myself whether it was true that I was threatened in some way.

Was the house really telling me this, or was it my ridiculous imagination at work again? And if I was threatened, who was threatening me?

“Go to a doctor,” said Toby, his kind eyes full of concern for me.

I thought how easy it would be to tell him all that I feared. He would listen gravely. Strange that I should feel it might be easier to tell him than to tell Joliffe.

With Joliffe away it was easier to think. I tried to look at my situation dispassionately.

Words Adam had once used came floating back to me: “Do you realize the extent of your affairs? Do you understand all that Sylvester has left to you?”

I knew it was a great deal. I knew I had to hold it in trust for Jason, for that was what Sylvester had intended. Adam would have been his guardian and I had had that altered so that Joliffe should be.

And since I had made that change…?

What is happening to me? I asked myself. Why should I feel ill? It is almost as though a curse has been laid on me. What have I done to deserve the wrath of Lottie’s gods?

Or was it not the wrath of the gods I had to fear but the greed of men?

How long the days seemed without Joliffe. He was so vital that when he was with me my fears receded. I felt alive as I never could without him.

Even on this day when the terrible listlessness was upon me and if I sat down for a minute I found myself going off into sleep, I missed him terribly. How dull life would be without him!

Jason was restless too.

“How long is my father going to be away?”

“Only for a day or so,” I told him.

“I wish he’d take me. He will one day. He said so.”

“Yes,” I said. “He’s going to teach you about Chinese Art so that you’ll be able to do what he does when you’re grown up.”

Jason sighed. “It takes such a long time to grow up,” he complained.

He had gone to bed and I retired early. I was very tired and I took a cup of tea before I went to bed.

I had it in my room as I did very often on the days when I was not feeling well. I think some of the servants thought I was in the first stages of pregnancy. I myself had thought the strange sensations I was feeling might be due to this, but it was not the case.

It was something else.

Some strange malady. Toby had said that Europeans were often attacked by unidentifiable ailments when they lived for any length of time in the East. Our bodies would not always adjust themselves to the change. It was as simple as that.

As simple as that! I was just feeling an Eastern malaise and building up an atmosphere of tension and suspicion because of it.

But try as I might I could not shut out of my mind the thought of Bella. If ever anyone was haunted, I was by Bella. She was constantly in my thoughts. What agonies of mind must lead to suicide. It is the finality of life. Behind it is the decision that what lies beyond the grave is more bearable than one’s lot in life. How desperate would one have to be to reach that conclusion?

I drank my tea and soon dropped into a sleep, from which I hoped there would be no dream.

But I dreamed vividly. When only half asleep I seemed to be plunged into some fantastic world.

Bella was there. She was saying: “It’s easy. You let yourself fall… fall…”

“What happened, Bella?” I asked. “Were you alone when you stood by the window?”

“Come and see… Come and see…”

I dreamed that I rose from my bed. She turned and looked at me and her face was horrible… like the face I had seen in that other dream. I knew then what it was that looked at me. It was Death. Bella was going to her death. The face changed and it was Bella as she had been in the park. She said: “I have something to tell you. You won’t like it, but you ought to know.”

“I’m coming… I’m coming,” I cried.

She held out her hand and I took it. She led me along the corridor and up the stairs. Her voice lingered in my ears: “You won’t like it… but you ought to know. Come on,” she whispered. “It’s easy.”

I felt the cold wind on my face. I felt myself gripped firmly. I was leaning out of a window.

I screamed: “Where am I?”

I was wide awake. I turned and saw Joliffe. He was holding me in his arms and Lottie was there.

This was no dream. I was in the topmost room. The window was wide open. I was vaguely aware of a crescent moon shining on the pagoda.

“My God, Jane!” cried Joliffe. “It’s all right, I’m here.”

“What happened?”

“We’ll get you back to bed quickly,” said Joliffe.

He shut the window firmly keeping one arm round me.

I saw Lottie, face pale in the moonlight. She was trembling.

Joliffe picked me up and carried me down to my room. There I sat on my bed and looked at him wonderingly.

“I’ll get you some brandy,” he said. “It’ll do you good.”

“I thought you were away,” I murmured.

Lottie stood by watching with wide eyes.

“I came back an hour ago,” said Joliffe. “I didn’t want to disturb you so I slept in the dressing room.” He was referring to the room which used to be Jason’s, for since Joliffe’s return Jason had moved to a room close by. “I was asleep, and something awakened me. It must have been when you walked out of the room. I was horrified to find your bed empty. I followed you. Thank God I did.”

I glanced at Lottie. She looked like a marionette nodding there.

“I hear too,” she said. “I come too.”

I felt desperately weary. “What time is it?” I asked.

“Nearly one o’clock,” said Joliffe. “Go to bed, Lottie. Everything will be all right now.”

Lottie bowed her head and hurried out.

Joliffe sat on the bed and put his arm about me.

“You walked in your sleep,” he said. “It’s the first time you’ve done that, isn’t it?”

“It’s the first I’ve heard of it.”

He took my hands and looked at me and I could have sworn that was real and fearful anxiety I saw there.

“I had a vivid dream,” I said.

“You were at the window.”

“I dreamed that Bella had taken me there.”

“Oh God, no!”

“Yes, I did.”

“It was a nightmare. You’ve been brooding on all that. It’s over, Jane. It’s done with. Put it behind you. You’re letting it disturb you so that… this could happen to you. It’s finished I tell you.”

I looked up at the money sword hanging over the bed.

“Drink this now,” he said, putting the brandy into my hand.

I obeyed.

“You feel better now,” he said as though willing me.

“I’m tired,” I said. “So tired.”

“You’ll sleep and in the morning you’ll feel better.”

It was true that I was exhausted. There was one thing I wanted and that was to sleep. Everything else could wait for that.

I was aware of Joliffe, bending over me, tucking in the sheets, tenderly kissing my forehead.


* * *

I did not awake until late next morning. Lottie told me that Joliffe had given instructions that I was to sleep on.

As soon as I awakened memories of the previous night came rushing back. I had walked in my sleep. It was something I had never done before. I remembered that night when I had awakened to find Sylvester in my room. I had led him back to his room and sat there watching him. “I walked in my sleep,” he had said. “It is something I never did before in the whole of my life as far as I know.”

I felt suddenly horrified. Sylvester had seen the Death figure. He had believed that it was a sign.

A cold shiver ran through my body.

What had happened to Sylvester was happening to me!

Those listless spells! He had suffered them too. They had been the beginning. And the doctor had found nothing wrong with him!

Sylvester had come to my room. He had wanted to see me so much that in his sleep his mind had been stronger than his body. He had wanted to tell me that he was going to die and that he was leaving everything to me. That was what had been uppermost in his mind. I had dreamed of Bella. That was what had been uppermost in mine. How had Bella died? That was what I had been asking myself. She had fallen from a window. Had she thrown herself down? Had she been led there?

No, no. I could not stop thinking of myself struggling in Joliffe’s arms.

Lottie had heard me. She had come up too. Was that why… I would not think it even. Of course it had been as Joliffe had said.

“Of course, of course,” I said aloud. “How could it have been otherwise?”

But how can one stop evil thoughts, fearful suspicions entering the mind?


* * *

Joliffe was solicitous. “My dearest Jane, you are not well. What is it? Tell me.”

“I just feel rather tired,” I said.

“But to walk in your sleep. You’ve never done that before have you… not as a child? Did your mother ever do it? Is it something that runs in families?”

“If I have done it I knew nothing about it.”

“I think you ought to see Dr. Phillips. You need a tonic of some sort. You’re run down. You’ve had a trying time.”

“I came through my trying times. I should be all right now.”

“But that’s how these things affect people. Their nerves stay steady while they are going through their crises and afterwards when they’ve settled into a peaceful existence the strain begins to show. You need a pick-me-up!”

I shook my head. “I’ll be all right, Joliffe.”

Jason knew I wasn’t well. He was worried too. I was deeply touched when he looked at me with anxious eyes. He feared he had neglected me. He had been so excited to have discovered a father that he had allowed his enthusiasm for one parent to submerge his care of the other. He had always looked after me, now I was ill.

He followed me around. He would come into my room in the morning and stand by my bed.