“So is mine. Maybe I'll come over and help you. Marie-Louise hates holidays so much, she's always particularly irritable at this time of year. She not only hates celebrating them herself, she takes it personally when anyone else does, especially me.” He laughed as he said it, and Sarah smiled. Nothing was ever easy, for anyone, no matter how it looked from the outside. “She's thinking of going skiing over New Year's. I don't ski, so I'll probably stay here and get some work done. I used to go with her, and sit around the lodge bored all day, and she was too tired to go anywhere at night. She almost made the Olympics as a kid, so she's a hotshot skier. She tried to teach me a long time ago, but I'm hopeless. It's one sport I'm really not good at and don't like. I hate the cold.” He smiled. “And falling on my ass, which I did a lot of, while she laughed at me. Now she goes up to Squaw alone. We both prefer it.”

“Come over anytime you want,” Sarah said warmly. She knew that their time together at the house would be more circumspect now. He had never kissed her again since the day of their picnic there. They had both agreed that that wasn't a good idea, and would just get them into trouble, and someone would get hurt. Sarah didn't want it to be her, nor did he. He had conceded that she was right, although it was hard not to reach out and take her in his arms when they were alone together. For her sake, as much as his own, he resisted the impulse now. Instead they worked together for hours, side by side, without ever touching. Admittedly, sometimes it was hard. But he respected her judgment and her wishes. And he had no real desire to complicate his situation with Marie-Louise.

“What do you two do on Christmas Day, since she doesn't celebrate holidays?” Sarah was always curious what their life was like. They seemed so different from each other.

Jeff smiled before he answered. “Usually, we fight. I bitch about how her attitude screws up the holidays for me. She tells me I'm insincere, crass, and commercial, that I'm a victim of institutions that sold me a bill of goods when I was a child, and too weak and stupid to know better now and resist it. You know, ordinary stuff like that.” Sarah laughed. “She had a Dickensian childhood, mostly spent with relatives who hated her or abused her and each other. She doesn't have much respect for family ties, tradition, or religious-based events. She still spends a lot of time with her family, but they all hate each other.”

“How sad for her.”

“Yes, I suppose so. She covers up the sadness with rage. It works for her.” He smiled as he said it. He accepted her as she was, although it didn't make her easy to live with.

They walked slowly down Union Street together, to where they had left their cars. The stores were decorated for the holidays, and there were lights twinkling on the trees, even in the daylight. It all looked very festive.

“I'll call you when our offices are closed,” he promised. “I'll come over and help whenever you want.”

“Marie-Louise won't mind?” Sarah asked cautiously. She was afraid to step on the woman's toes. From all Sarah knew of her, she thought she was a viper. But still, she respected Jeff's bond to her, as he did, despite his grousing about her at times.

“She won't even notice,” he assured her. And he wasn't planning to tell her, although he didn't say that to Sarah. He knew how honorable she was. He felt that how he dealt with Marie-Louise was up to him. He knew her better, and what their boundaries were. And like Sarah, he was determined now not to let his attraction to her get out of hand. They had agreed to just be friends.

They thanked each other for the gifts, and Sarah went back to her apartment. A little while later, she went back to the house on Scott Street, with her new book from Jeff under her arm. She stayed there working until long after midnight that night. And on Christmas Eve, she wore the pretty gold pin he had given her, of a house. Her mother commented on it almost the moment Sarah sat down. She had forgotten Phil's silver bracelet on her dresser. She hadn't heard from him then in three days. He was always that way in Aspen. He was having too much fun to call.

“I like that,” her mother commented about the pin. “Where'd you get it?”

“A present from a friend,” Sarah told her cryptically. She was planning to tell them about the house that night. She could hardly wait.

“Phil?” Her mother looked surprised. “I didn't think he had taste like that.”

“He doesn't,” Sarah said, and turned to speak to George, her grandmother's boyfriend. He had just bought a house in Palm Springs and was excited about it. He had invited them all to come down and visit. Mimi had already been to see the house and loved it. He was teaching her to play golf.

Christmas Eve dinner was easy and warm. Audrey made roast beef and Yorkshire pudding, which she was masterful at. Mimi had done the vegetables and baked two pies, which got rave reviews. Sarah had brought wine, which everyone complimented her on. And George had given Mimi a beautiful little sapphire bracelet that made her eyes light up when she showed it off, and everyone oohed and aahed, which pleased George no end.

Sarah waited until the excitement had died down, after they finished eating. Audrey was serving coffee, as Sarah looked around the table.

“You look like the cat that swallowed the canary,” her mother said, praying that she wasn't about to announce her engagement to Phil. If so, Audrey assumed that he would at least have shown up for that. And there was no ring on her finger, thank God. So Audrey felt reassured it wasn't that.

“Not exactly a canary,” Sarah said, unable to conceal her excitement. “I finally took Mom's advice,” she said to the assembled company, as Audrey rolled her eyes and sat down.

“That would be a first,” Audrey interrupted, and Sarah smiled benevolently at her. All was forgiven.

“Actually, I did, Mom. I bought a house.” She breathed the words like a woman announcing she was having a baby, excited, ecstatic, and proud.

“You did?” Audrey looked delighted. “When did you do that? You didn't tell me!”

“I am now. I bought it a few weeks ago. It's all been very unexpected and unplanned. I started looking for condos, and a rare opportunity landed in my lap. It's kind of a dream come true, a dream I didn't even know I had until it happened and I fell in love with it.”

“How wonderful, sweetheart!” Mimi was quick to share her excitement, as was George, who was thrilled with his own new house. As always, Audrey looked slightly more suspicious.

“It's not in some awful neighborhood, is it? And you're going to change the world by moving there?” She knew her daughter was capable of it. Sarah shook her head.

“No, I think you'll approve. It's only a few blocks from where I am now, in Pacific Heights. It's extremely respectable, and totally safe.”

“So what's the catch? I hear one coming.” Audrey was relentless. Sarah wished she would find a boyfriend who would distract her. But if so, they'd have to sedate her, to keep her mouth shut. She scared them all away, or dumped them. Her edges were too sharp, especially for Sarah, who was often cut to the quick by the razor blades on her mother's tongue.

“No catch, Mom. It needs work. A lot of it, but I'm excited about doing it, and I got it at a great price.”

“Oh God, it's a dump. I know it.”

Sarah shook her head and persisted. “No, it's gorgeous. It'll take me six months or a year to get it in shape, and then you'll be bowled over by it.” She looked at her grandmother as she said it. Mimi was nodding, entirely willing to believe her. She always was, unlike Audrey, who challenged her at every turn.

“Who's going to help you?” Audrey asked practically.

“I hired an architect, and I'm going to do a lot of the work myself.”

“I guess it's safe to assume we won't be seeing Phil wielding a hammer on weekends. Your law firm must be doing well if you're hiring an architect.” Audrey pursed her lips, and Sarah nodded. The bequest from Stanley was none of their business, either. “When do you take possession?”

“I already own it,” Sarah said with a proud smile.

“That was fast,” Audrey said suspiciously.

“Very,” Sarah admitted. “It was love at first sight, once I decided. I've known the house for a long time, and it just came on the market. I never thought I'd own it, or anything like it.”

“How big is it?” Audrey asked matter-of-factly, and Sarah laughed out loud at the question.

“Thirty thousand square feet,” she said proudly, as though she had said “one” or “two.” The assembled company stared at her in disbelief.

“Are you joking?” Audrey asked, wide-eyed.

“No, I'm not. That's why I got it for such a great price. No one wants a house that size anymore.” And then she turned to her grandmother and spoke softly. “Mimi, you know the house. You were born there. It's your parents' house at Twenty-forty Scott Street. That's a big part of why I bought it. It means a lot to me, and I hope it will to you, too, when you see it.”

“Oh, my dear…,” Mimi said, as tears sprang to her eyes. She didn't even know if she wanted to see the house again. In fact, she was almost sure she didn't. She had such poignant memories there, of her father before depression crushed his spirit, and the last times she saw her mother before she disappeared. “Are you sure? …I mean… it's such a big house for you to manage on your own. No one lives that way anymore.… My parents had nearly thirty employees there, or maybe more.” She looked worried, and almost frightened, as though a ghost from her past had reached out and touched her. The ghost of her mother. Lilli.

“Well, I won't have thirty employees, I can promise you that,” Sarah said, still smiling, despite her mother's scowling at her, and her grandmother's look of panic. Even George looked a little stunned. His new house in Palm Springs was five thousand square feet, which he was afraid might be too much for him. Thirty thousand defied the imagination. “I might have a cleaning person come in once a week. The rest of the staff is me. But it's so beautiful, and when I'm finished restoring it to what it once was, or as close as I can get to it, I think you'll all love it. I already do.”

Audrey was shaking her head, as though she was convinced now, indisputably, that her daughter was crazy. “Who's owned it for all these years?” she asked, vaguely curious.

“My late client, Stanley Perlman,” Sarah said simply.

“Did he leave it to you?” her mother asked bluntly. She would have asked if Sarah had been sleeping with him, except she remembered Sarah telling her he was about a hundred years old.

“No, he didn't.” The rest was between her and Stanley and nineteen other heirs. “The heirs put it on the market at a remarkably low price, and I bought it. It cost me less than a small house in Pacific Heights would have, and I love it a whole lot more. Besides, it means a lot to me to have it back in our family, and I hope it does to you, too,” she said to both her grandmother and her mother. Both women remained silent. “I was hoping you'd both come and see it tomorrow. It would mean a lot to me.” For a long moment, neither answered, as disappointment fluttered over Sarah's heart like a moth.

As always, her mother spoke first. “I can't believe you bought a house that size. Do you have any idea what it's going to take to restore it and bring it up to code, let alone decorate and furnish it?” Her words never failed to sound like accusations to her daugh-ter's ears.

“I do. Even if it takes years, it's important to me. And if it's too much for me at any point, I can sell it.”

“And lose your shirt in the process,” Audrey said with a sigh, as Sarah's grandmother reached over and took her grandchild's hand in hers. She still had lovely, delicate hands, even at her age, and beautiful, long thin fingers.

“I think you did a wonderful thing, Sarah. I think we're all just a little surprised. I'd like very much to see it. I never thought I'd see that house again. I never thought I wanted to, but now that it's yours, I do.…” Itwas exactly the right thing to say. Mimi always came through, unlike Audrey.

“Could we go tomorrow, Mimi?” It would be Christmas Day. Sarah felt as she had as a child, showing her grandmother some project she had made, or a new puppy. She wanted Mimi to be proud of her, and her mother. It had always been harder to win praise from her mother.

“We'll go first thing in the morning,” Mimi said firmly, struggling to overcome her own emotions and fears. It was not an easy thing for her to go back there, but for Sarah, she would have braved every demon in hell, even her own private hell and painful memories. And George said he would go with her. That left Audrey.