Lucy Gordon - The Italian’s Rightful Bride

In a daze Joanna ate some bread rolls and washed them down with coffee, listening to a stream of instructions, nodding and trying to concentrate.

‘OK,’ she said at last, donning her dressing gown. ‘I’ll dash back to my room for a shower, then I’ll come straight back.’

She slipped back into the corridor, so preoccupied that at first she didn’t see Gustavo. It was his sharp intake of breath that alerted her.

‘Oh, good,’ she said, laying a light hand on his arm.

To her astonishment he flinched.

‘I was going to find you,’ she said, ‘to say that I won’t be coming to the church in the same car as you after all.’

‘I see.’ His face was tense.

‘The reason is-’

‘There’s no need for you to tell me the reason,’ he said coldly. ‘I should have realised.’

‘Realised what?’ she demanded, more and more puzzled by his strange tone and manner.

He didn’t reply but his eyes roved over her dressing gown.

‘You left it a little late to emerge,’ he said. ‘I believe discretion usually suggests an early-morning departure. People are so censorious.’

Suddenly his meaning dawned on her.

‘Are you saying that you think-that I…? Gustavo, do you know whose room that is?’

‘No,’ he said, almost fiercely. ‘Nor do I want to. You owe me no explanations.’

‘I certainly don’t. But you owe me an apology. How dare you think-what you are thinking? You ought to be ashamed of yourself.’

‘Joanna…’ he said uncertainly. Something in her blazing temper had got through to him.

‘You really thought that I-?’

‘I don’t know what I was supposed to think.’

‘Well, actually, you weren’t supposed to think anything, because whose room you see me coming out of is none of your damned business. And that is especially true when you jump to insulting conclusions like some demented jack-in-the-box.’

‘I did not mean to insult you-’

‘Oh, really. Then would you like to give me a blow-by-blow account of exactly what you thought I was up to in there?’

‘No, I wouldn’t,’ he said furiously, going slightly red.

‘But you’ve got a really brilliant picture inside your head, haven’t you? I doubt it bears any relation to the reality.’

‘As you have said, it’s none of my business. Now, if you don’t mind-’

‘But I do mind. You don’t just make accusations and walk off-’

‘I have not made any accusation-’

‘Haven’t you? Then what was that remark about early departures? Does that come from experience? How early are your departures, Gustavo?’

‘I see no need to discuss it.’

‘I’ll bet you don’t. But of course, if she has an apartment in Rome you don’t need to leave early, do you? Or does she have nosy neighbours? Do you hide your face as you leave?’

‘What the devil are you talking about?’ he snapped.

‘I’ll tell you what I…’

But it was no use. She couldn’t keep it up. Amusement was stronger than anger, and the next moment the laughter welled up in her, bursting out so strongly that she had to clutch the wall.

‘Joanna-’

‘What an idiot you are!’ she choked. ‘But I suppose I’m an idiot as well. Just forget it.’

‘Forget it? You make your opinion of me very clear and I’m supposed to forget it?’

‘Well, you made your opinion of me very clear, but I forgive you.’ Another gale of laughter swept over her. ‘Oh, heavens, I shall die of this.’

His brow cleared a little at the implications of her amusement. His heart was beating as he had seldom felt it before. Not for twelve years, in fact.

He longed to ask her to tell him how wrong he was, but for the life of him he couldn’t have got the words out.

Then, from behind the door, he heard a sound that seemed to restore him to life. A burst of female laughter. The next moment the door was flung open and Etta appeared. Over her shoulder he could see at least three other women in the room.

‘Joanna, thank goodness you’re still here. I’d like you to- Oh, hello.’ She’d just seen Gustavo, and pulled the edges of her dressing gown together.

‘Joanna’s helping us out,’ she explained. ‘She’s going to be my matron of honour instead of Gina, who has flu. Have you managed to explain to him yet, Jo?’

‘I haven’t had the chance,’ Joanna said through quivering lips. ‘Gustavo, I was going to find you and say there’s been a change of plan. I’ll be on duty with the bride.’

‘Thank you for telling me,’ he said stiffly.

Etta’s eyes were like saucers as she looked from one to the other then made a tactful withdrawal.

Gustavo’s face was tense and embarrassed, reminding Joanna of just how miserably uptight he could be, and how he, more than anyone, suffered for it. He was the last man in the world who could cope with this situation.

‘How could you?’ she said, amused and reproachful together.

‘I apologise for-for-’

‘Oh, shut up!’ she said tenderly. ‘I’ll see you in the church.’

With one hand she touched his face while her lips just brushed against his other cheek. Then she slipped away without looking back.

THE wedding was held in the great church in the nearby town of Rannley Hayes. From ten o’clock a stream of cars began to leave the towers, and Joanna’s sense of life playing back increased.

The last time she’d been to a wedding here she’d watched those same cars driving away, knowing that soon one of them would hold Crystal, glorious in bridal white, on her way to become Gustavo’s wife.

She couldn’t recall the weather then, but today the sun shone down with a glorious light as she got out of the car with Etta, helped to straighten her dress, then handed her the bouquet.

Then it was time to enter the church, where, since Etta’s father was dead, Lord Rannley was waiting to give the bride away. The organ struck up the wedding march and they began the long walk down the aisle.

As matron of honour she led the attendants, walking down the aisle just behind the bride. Now and then she glanced to her right, trying to see where Gustavo was sitting, but there was no sign of him until the last minute.

There he was, near the front, in the second row, at the end of the pew, close to her. He turned as she approached, and Joanna was startled by what she saw in his face.

He looked stupefied, like a man who’d been struck by a thunderbolt, trying to gather his senses and failing.

She knew that for him too this moment brought back memories. Twelve years ago he’d stood in almost this spot and watched his bride approach. Now his eyes were fixed on herself, and she thought she detected a question in them.

But she couldn’t spare the time to wonder now what that question might mean. Etta had come to a halt, and she must take her bouquet of white roses, then step back into her position while the groom moved into place, and the service began.

‘Dearly beloved, we are gathered here…’

Gustavo heard the words, the same ones that had been intoned over himself and Crystal. They seemed to come from a great distance.

He was only aware of Joanna, standing close to him, glorious in ivory satin and lace, her head adorned by the elegant organdie hat with its tiny pink rosebuds.

She looked like a bride herself, he thought. And so she would have been but for his blind stupidity. He’d been happy that day, but how soon that happiness had faded in the face of reality!

Was she too remembering, and wondering about how different things might have been?

He kept his eyes fixed on her, willing her to look at him, but she seemed lost in some inner dream. He longed to be able to follow her there, to beg her to share her thoughts with him, and perhaps also her feelings.

Too late. Much too late.

Dumbstruck by the terrible moment of illumination that had come to him, he listened to the vows of fidelity, remembering how they had come to sound like a cruel joke. As they would not have done with Joanna.

There was a lull as the bride and groom went into the vestry to sign the register, while the organist played a cheerful tune.

Joanna’s head was in a whirl. Too much had happened at once. She’d seen the funny side of this morning’s incident, but she wondered now if she’d merely been trying to hide from reality. Gustavo had thought she’d spent the night with a man, and it had shattered him.

She wasn’t looking at him, but she had no doubt that he was looking at her. Such was his control that she was sure his astonishment would no longer be reflected on his face. But it would still be there in his heart. She knew that, for it was the same with her.

Suddenly, high overhead, the organ pealed out in triumph. The newly married couple returned from the vestry to begin their journey back down the aisle and out into the sunshine.

Photographs. Dozens of them in various combinations. The happy couple with his family, with her family. Lord Rannley took charge of that one, contriving to draw Gustavo in so that he was standing just behind Joanna. As everyone crowded up together it was natural for him to put his hands on her shoulders.

It was only a light touch but Joanna found it unnerving. It made her think too intensely of all the ways she wanted him to touch her.

Then the pictures were over, and the new husband and wife got into their car together and drove back to the towers. Others cars were drawing up. The bridesmaids began to pile into a large limousine, and Joanna knew she must go with them.

She turned to give Gustavo a smile of goodbye, and as she did so a sudden gust of wind threatened to snatch off her hat. Before she could save it Gustavo had reached up quickly to settle his hands on the brim, and draw it down firmly on each side of her face.

‘That’s better,’ he said, smiling into her eyes.

His hands lightly brushed her cheek, remaining there a moment, firm and gentle.

‘Yes,’ she said, breathlessly. ‘That’s better.’

She didn’t see him again until they had returned to the towers and were finding their seats in the reception. As matron of honour she was on the top table. Gustavo was within sight but not next to her. She forced herself not to look at him. She couldn’t trust herself to seem indifferent.

Speeches, toasts, all sounding much the same as before. Then the bride and groom took the floor and the dancing began.

Joanna did duty dances with the best man, the groom’s brother and a series of men whose names she didn’t know and didn’t care about.

Then the happy couple departed on their honeymoon. Etta, full of mischief, tossed her bouquet in Joanna’s direction, but Joanna was ready and stepped quickly aside.

‘You made very sure to dodge that,’ Gustavo said as they stood on the steps, waving the honeymooners off.

She hadn’t realised that he’d noticed.

‘Well, it’s silly, isn’t it?’ she said lightly. ‘It’s just a quick way of making an idiot of yourself.’

‘Is that a reference to Freddy?’

‘Why should it be?’

‘Because you caught Crystal’s bouquet, I remember. It doesn’t seem to have brought you much luck. Maybe you can’t be blamed for being cautious now.’

She took his arm as they joined the others returning to the house.

‘My marriage brought me Billy,’ she said. ‘I call that the best kind of luck. For the rest, there’s a lot to be said for being footloose and fancy-free.’

As she spoke she gave him a challenging look that discomfited him.

‘Is that aimed at me?’ he asked, taking two tall glasses from a passing waiter and giving her one. ‘I did apologise.’

‘So you ought,’ she said, teasing him over the rim with her eyes. ‘Anyway, even if I had been…what you thought…well, it’s a free country.’

‘If you’re trying to tell me that it’s none of my business what you do-’

‘Well, is it?’

‘It might be,’ he said, regarding her levelly.

She drank her champagne. It gave her time to collect her thoughts.

Outside, the light was fast fading. Inside the lights were coming on and refreshments were being served as the festivities started up again.

‘It’s been a strange day,’ he said, drawing her over to the window, where they could have a little privacy.

‘Yes,’ she said, not pretending that she didn’t understand his meaning.

‘The wedding being in the same place-well, memories. Even poor Gina-’

‘You mean me being matron of honour?’

‘No, her getting flu and missing the wedding. That nearly happened to you. Remember how you got caught in the rain the night before, and we met in the corridor? You looked so wet and bedraggled I was worried about you.’

‘Wet and bedraggled,’ she mused. ‘Yes, I was that all right. Inside and out.’

‘What?’