He crossed the terrace and started down the stairs. Perhaps if they spent a few minutes together he could get her out of his head. That she was here at Danby in the first place was absurd, really, when one thought about it. They’d shared no more than a chance encounter at a bookstore. Nothing more than a moment in which two people reached for the same volume and their hands brushed, followed by a bit of amusing conversation. Admittedly, that conversation had lasted much of the afternoon, but it was a casual flirtation, nothing more significant than that. Or at least it shouldn’t have been. But in that second when his hand had touched hers, her gaze had met his, there had been an instant of perfect clarity, of shocking awareness. It was absurd of course. Henry didn’t believe in such foolish romantic nonsense.

And yet his blood raced in her presence. His heart thudded hard in his chest when her gaze met his. And something inside of him ached with an odd emptiness when he thought of what he had missed. Perhaps if he could just talk to her alone, he might break the spell he’d been under since they first met.

Or he’d be doomed forever. Still, it was a chance worth taking. It was damned difficult to remember he was expected to marry one sister with another constantly in his thoughts.

He reached the bottom of the stairs and considered his choices. Celia was nowhere to be seen. In front of him, centered between the two curved stairways that flanked the terrace and led into the garden, was a large circular pool. Frolicking water nymphs and dolphins carved of stone spouted water in the middle. The fountain and pool had been designed by an ancestor a hundred or so years ago, and while Henry was not at all drawn to whimsy, he had loved this spot in the garden all of his life. It was nothing short of magical.

The pool was bounded by a semicircular beech hedge with arched openings leading into the gardens beyond. The one farthest from the house led to the tennis courts and he was fairly certain she would not have gone in that direction. The rose garden and formal plantings, designed at the beginning of the century to reflect a continental style, could be reached through the archway on the right. The arch on the left was the entry to a world of extravagant topiaries, fanciful silhouettes, unexpected figures and fantastic forms all carved and shaped out of living trees. This was the oldest garden on the grounds, originally planted nearly two hundred years ago. He and Ned had played here as boys and, regardless of how fashion and taste might change with the years, they had promised the topiary garden would always be a part of Danby Manor.

He had no idea which archway Celia had selected but perhaps her choice might be taken as a sign. If she chose the formal gardens, then obviously they were not meant to be and he could renew his efforts to vanquish her from his thoughts. If she picked the topiaries, well, he’d cross that road if and when he came to it.

He strode toward the left-hand arch, stepped under the wide shaped branches and into the topiary garden. As he had since childhood, he paused and for a moment was a Lilliputian staring up at giant Gullivers.

“Are you following me?” an amused voice off to one side asked. His heart leaped.

“No, of course not.” He kept his gaze on the carved giants in front of him. He didn’t need to turn to know Celia was sitting on one of the stone benches that flanked either side of the archway.

“Really? I could have sworn you were.” A teasing note sounded in her voice.

“And if I admitted I was?” His tone matched hers but there was an undercurrent of truth he couldn’t quite hide.

“Oh.” She paused. “I see.”

Something inside him snapped and he turned toward her. “Do you?”

Her eyes widened and she rose to her feet. “No, not really. Not at all.”

He stepped toward her. “Celia—”

“No.” She held out her hand to stop him. “Don’t come any closer. Please.”

The look in her eyes clutched at his heart. “Are you afraid of me?”

Her brows drew together. “Why on earth would I be afraid of you?”

“I don’t know.” He ran a hand through his hair in frustration. “I just thought...the way you looked at me... It seemed... I don’t know.”

She stared at him for a moment then laughed. “Good Lord, Henry, I would never be afraid of you.”

“Good.” He nodded. This woman made no sense whatsoever. It was...delightful. “Although you did look rather afraid.”

“Well, I am.”

He frowned. “You’re very confusing.”

“Do you think so?” She considered his words. “Most people don’t think I’m the least bit confusing. I rather like that you think I am.” Her blue eyes twinkled with amusement.

“I’m glad you’re happy,” he said wryly.

“Oh, I’m not at all happy. I’m really quite distraught. And I am afraid, but not of you.” She drew a deep breath. “Of us.”

His blood pounded in his ears. “Us?”

“It’s no doubt quite impertinent of me and most presumptuous. Why, you might not feel at all the same, but—”

“I do.”

She stared. “You do what?”

“Feel the same.”

“Do you?”

He nodded. “I’m afraid so.”

“Oh dear.” She twisted her hands together. “That is awkward. Delightful,” she added then grimaced. “But awkward.”

“Because I am to marry your sister?”

“Of course. I can’t think of any other reason why it would be awkward. Unless you were supposed to marry someone other than my sister, then I suppose that would be awkward, as well.”

He grinned in spite of himself. “Yes, well, I imagine that would be.”

“You’re not, though, are you?” Her eyes narrowed. “You don’t have another fiancée, do you? In addition to Katherine, I mean.”

“No, I don’t.” He laughed. “But you’re right. An additional fiancée would be awkward.” He sobered. “Tell me why you’re afraid of us.”

She studied him for a long moment, absently chewing on her lower lip. The most insane desire to taste that lip rushed though him. He ignored it.

“I barely know you, Henry, yet it doesn’t seem to matter.” Her gaze wandered past him, as if she was working something out in her own mind. Looking for an answer that was not easily seen. “Since the moment I met you at the bookseller’s, I have thought of you constantly. I even went back several times in hopes of seeing you.”

He resisted the urge to grin with satisfaction.

Her gaze shifted back to his. “You can imagine my shock when I met you again only to discover you were the man my sister intended to marry.”

“I can indeed. Believe me, you were not alone in your surprise.”

“There is nothing that can be done about it.” She shook her head. “You are an honorable man. I am certain of it. I know we’ve barely spoken but I admit I have observed you during my stay here.”

“Yet we’ve not had so much as a moment alone together.”

“I am well aware of that.” She raised her chin. “Quite honestly I have been avoiding you. And I suspect you’ve been avoiding me, as well.”

He shrugged. “It seemed best.”

“And yet now, here—” she waved absently at their surroundings “—you sought me out.”

“I couldn’t bear it anymore, Celia.” His gaze caught hers directly. “To have you so close and yet...”

“So far away?”

“And out of reach.” He blew a frustrated breath. “I don’t know what to do. I have never had feelings like this and yet the circumstances...” He shook his head. “I thought perhaps if we talked, then whatever this is between would be laid to rest.”

“Because we shared no more than an afternoon. And what seemed extraordinary and magical in hindsight would vanish in the here and now. And we could both put it behind us and go on with our lives.”

“I fear it hasn’t worked.” He cast her a wry smile.

“These brief moments have only served to make me want more. Another hour, another afternoon, a day, a week...forever.”

“My dear Henry.” She smiled and the sadness in her eyes twisted his heart. “We have made a dreadful mess of this.”

“I have,” he said staunchly. “I should have tried harder to find you. I should never have given up. I allowed myself to be sensible and rational and to decide those few hours with a lovely woman in a bookstore were nothing of true significance. I should have known better. My heart should have known better.”

“Hearts are notoriously incompetent when it comes to good judgment. Pity we must live with the consequences.” Her voice softened. “You’re a good man, Henry. The kind of man who honors his obligations. I don’t think I would feel about you the way I do if you weren’t. I don’t think I could.”

There was nothing he could say. She was right. His word was his bond.

Her gaze meshed with his. “I have never in my life wanted to throw myself into a man’s arms and yet with you, I can barely keep myself from doing so. However...”

“However.” His gaze searched hers. “It doesn’t matter, does it?”

“Do you believe in fate?”

“I never have but that was before I met you.”

“I do. I always have.” She paused, obviously to consider her words. Henry feared they would not be what he longed to hear. “It seems to me if fate truly meant for you and I to be together, we would have met again before...” She shook her head. “As it is, I fear fate sadly intended us to be star-crossed, as it were. Nothing more than friends perhaps.”

“I’m not sure I can be your friend.” His gaze bored into hers and he knew the regret in her eyes mirrored his own.

“Then we can have nothing at all.” She looked as if she were about to say something else and instead nodded. “I’m not sure this has been of any benefit to either of us.” She smiled. “But it was nice to speak with you again. It’s probably wise for us to continue to avoid encounters like this. Good day, Henry.” She started off.

“Wait.” He had to stop her even if he had no legitimate reason for doing so. But it did seem that she had just said goodbye and he wasn’t sure he could bear that.

She turned back toward him. “Yes?”

He said the first thing that popped into his head. “I know there can never be anything between us and I accept that. But you will dance with me, won’t you? At the ball?” Perhaps if he could hold her in his arms, just once, he could let her go forever.

“I don’t think—”

“One dance, Celia, nothing more than that. And then we will go our separate ways as if nothing had ever happened between us. Grant me that much.”

She studied him for an endless, silent moment then favored him with a polite, impersonal smile. His stomach plunged. “Of course, Henry, it would be quite rude to refuse you a dance. You are marrying my sister, after all.” She nodded and took her leave.

He stared after her for a long moment and accepted the truth.

This was the woman he should be marrying. This was the woman who had claimed his heart. And for the rest of his days, this was the woman who would own it.

Even if it was broken.


CHAPTER SIX


CELIA STEPPED THROUGH the verdant archway and started toward the house trying to maintain a sedate pace even though everything inside her urged her to run. To flee as fast as she could. She kept her chin tucked, her gaze on the ground in front of her and her fists clenched in an effort to keep from crying. How utterly ridiculous. Tears never helped anyone.

This wasn’t the least bit fair but then Celia had realized long ago that life wasn’t particularly fair. It wasn’t fair that her mother had died. That her father was an idiot. That her sisters did not treat her as one should treat a sister. And most unfair of all—that her oldest sister was marrying the man Celia loved.

And there was nothing to be done about it. Regardless of whatever plan Aunt Guinevere and her companions devised, Katherine would never let Henry go. And Henry would never go back on his word.

“I say, Celia, are you all right?”

Celia jerked her head up and stopped short, nearly colliding with the earl. “I beg your pardon, my lord. I didn’t see you.”

“No, you are most definitely preoccupied.” He studied her curiously. His eyes were the same dark brown as Henry’s and it was obvious they were brothers but no one would have ever suspected they were twins. “Is something wrong?”

Yes, everything is wrong! “Nothing of significance.” She forced a pleasant smile. “My mind was elsewhere, I’m afraid.”

“Someplace more interesting than this, I would hope.”

“Not at all,” she said firmly. “I think Danby is most interesting. And the history of the manor is fascinating.”

His brow rose. “You enjoy history, do you?”

“I always have. Particularly in a place like this.” She glanced around. “You can feel history all around you here, like a living, breathing thing. The mark of those who have come before is evident everywhere you look.”