Elizabeth Eulberg - The Lonely Hearts Club

Tracy looked confused, "Is that a Beatles reference?"

"Yes, and if you ever listened to any of the music I've given you, you'd know that. ANYWAYS, I'm serious. I'm not dating anymore. And Diane's decided to join my ban,"

Diane turned to Tracy "You should join, too, Tracy. It could be fun."

Tracy looked at Diane with contempt. "Do you think I'm so pathetic I can't get a date?"

"Hey, that's not why — " I tried to interrupt.

"No, that's not what I meant. I..." Diane looked hurt.

Tracy glared at Diane. "Right — how long is your membership going to last? Like you could exist without being fawned over by the entire male population."

"Tracy, please " I said. "The Club is important to me."

Tracy groaned. "Be serious, Penny!"

My face became hot with anger. How could I have expected Tracy to understand the hurt that Diane and I were going through?

Tracy had never had her heart crushed.

"You just don't get it!" I screamed. This was the first time I'd ever raised my voice to Tracy. The group of freshmen at the table next to us got up and left. "I know you don't understand what I'm going through, but this is what I need." My voice started to waver as I tried to fight back tears. "I thought it was over, but it isn't. He keeps sending me these texts."

"He what?" Tracy pursed her lips.

"He just…" I didn't have the energy to deal with Nate.

"Penny, I told you — he's such a jerk," Diane said softly. "You don't owe him anything."

Tracy turned to Diane. "You know about Nate?"

"Of course she knows. But I don't want to talk about Nate right now. This Club, not dating — this is what I want to do. And, even more important, it's what I need to do. Diane supports me. I wish you would, too."

Silence fell on the table. "Pen," Tracy said in a quiet voice. "I'm sorry if you think I'm not being supportive, but don't you see? She's just using you."

Diane flinched. "How can you say that? I'm not using Penny." She paused for a moment, took a deep breath, and looked directly at Tracy. "Why do you hate me so much?"

"I don't___"

"Yes, you do." Diane looked down at her half-eaten salad. "I don't know why, but you always have. I was hoping that the three of us could be friends, because I know how much you mean to Penny. There is no way I could be friends with Penny again without your... approval, I guess."

Tracy looked at Diane with complete incomprehension. I don't think she ever imagined Diane Monroe would look to her for anything, much less approval.

"I just..." Tracy looked upset. "I don't want you to take Penny away from me."

I looked at Tracy in horror. How could she think that? "Tracy, Diane isn't going to do that."

Diane hesitantly reached over and put her arm on Tracy's shoulder. "Do you think you could just give me a chance? Please?"

I reached over to Tracy. "You know I have to have you behind me."

Tracy shook her head. "I guess I could try. . for Penny."

Diane's face lit up. "But hold on a second." Tracy glared at Diane. "if you ever, I mean ever, pull that crap with Penny again, if you hurt her, you will not live long enough to regret it."

Diane nodded weakly. "I'd really like us to be friends, Tracy, I really would."

Tracy gave Diane an encouraging smile. "Yeah, well, knowing the history with my list, I guess it's only a matter of time before I join you guys on the dark side."

"Can I see your list?" Diane asked hesitantly.

Tracy paused a few seconds before she pulled it out of her bag.

"Why not?"

"Oh, I know Paul Levine. He's a really nice guy," Diane offered.

I guessed this was as good a start as I could've hoped for in our new, three-way friendship.

AFTER FOUR YEARS OF BASICALLY ignoring each other, it surprised me how quickly Diane and I fell back into place. I assumed it would be awkward, but it wasn't. It was the Penny and Diane of old.

I was waiting for Diane at my locker at the end of the day when Ryan turned the corner, looking upset. He threw open his locker and started shoving books into his backpack with so much force I expected the strap to break.

I looked up and saw Diane approaching me with a smile on her face.

I kept looking between them. I knew they'd been speaking since the breakup, but I didn't want to find myself in the middle of it.

Ryan slammed his locker shut and nearly ran into me when he turned around.

"Sorry," he said.

"Um, that's okay!" I replied, Diane was nearly at our lockers. "Um, everything okay?"

"Huh?" He looked agitated. "I didn't do well on my Chem Lab."

"Oh, okay." I didn't know what else to say to him. I'd never had trouble speaking with Ryan, but with Diane corning over, I felt like I was betraying her in a way.

"Hey, guys," Diane greeted us.

I noticed people in the hallways slowing down so they could watch Diane and Ryan.

Ryan and Diane noticed, too. there was an awkward silence in our group as people were hovering, dissecting their every move. I just said the first thing that came to my mind. "Ryan didn't do well on his Chemistry Lab."

Ryan gave me a weird look.

"Sorry, I just…" I was embarrassed.

Diane rolled her eyes, "Like a B is hardly something to get bent out of shape about. Plus, aren't you getting extra credit or something for that student advisory thing?"

"What advisory thing?" I asked.

Ryan blushed. "It's nothing. Principal Braddock has asked some students to meet with him on a regular basis to give him a better sense of the concerns of the student body."

I was confused. "Isn't that what Student Council is for?"

Ryan shrugged, "I don't know. We've only met once, and all he wanted to talk to me about was football. I guess he just wants to relive his glory years."

Back in his day, Braddock was McKinley High's star athlete, and if one were to forget, there were a bunch of pictures of him in the trophy cases to remind us.

"Yeah, so much for-" Ryan was interrupted by a high, shrieking sound coming from the hallway. I nearly fell over when I saw that it was coming from Tracy.

She ran over with a look of pure excitement and ended up running me smack into my locker.

"Ow!"

Tracy put her hand over her mouth and tried to stifle her laughter.

"Sorry! You're not going to believe what happened!

I moved my shoulder to make sure it was still in its socket.

"Paul is having a party at his house on Saturday and asked me to come!"

"Paul Levine?" I asked.

"Yes, can you believe it? He's number three on the list,"

"Wow, Tracy, that's great!" I looked over at Diane, who gave me a little wink.

Tracy was absolutely glowing, "So you're going to come with me, right? It's going to be so much fun. His parents are away and he's a senior, so there will probably be a ton of seniors there, probably even Kevin. You're going to be there, right, Diane?"

Diane looked shocked that Tracy was including her. "Of course."

"See, Pen, you have to got. Right, Diane?"

Diane laughed. "Come on, Penny.'"

Just a few hours ago Tracy was at Diane's throat. And now Tracy was using Diane to bully me into going to a party.

"Of course, I'll go with you!" I said. Ryan was looking at the three of us with a combined look of confusion and amusement.

I was a little nervous about attending a house party. Parkview was a pretty small town — only ten thousand people, and my parents knew most of them. if I was ever caught at a party where the parents weren't at home, I knew I'd be in so much trouble. My mother was a small woman, but she carried the wrath of God in her. I didn't like to make her angry. You wouldn't like her when she's angry.

It was just one more thing I was going to have to be careful about.

"What are you wearing to the party?" I asked Tracy, as we sat down in the football stands for the next night's game.

"What's Diane wearing?"

Tracy had been on her best behavior with Diane since Paul's invitation. I hoped wasn't all an act, "Maybe we'll get you a nice strait jacket to match your attitu- Ow!"

Tracy's fingers dug into my right arm. "Shh!" she said as she tried to subtly motion in front of us.

"Nuumb seev," Tracy mumbled.

"What?" I was convinced this was it. Tracy had finally lost her mind.

"Nuuurnmmb seeevvv," Tracy moved her head forward somewhat violently.

"Are you having a seizure?" I asked.

She looked over at me and held up seven fingers.

Seven? Seven what?

Clearly frustrated with me, she leaned in. "Steve is number seven on my list." She motioned to the row in front of us, where Steve Powell had sat down with some friends.

I rolled my eyes.

Tracy beamed. "This is the year the list is finally going to work.We have Paul tomorrow, and tonight..."

I was praying she was kidding. in the first few days of school, the list that consisted of eight guys at McKinley was already down to four. Mark Dowd was crossed off for talking to Kathy Enrich too much in Trig, Eric Boyd had cut his hair too short, W. J. Ross had gotten a job at Tracy's least favorite fast-food restaurant, and Chris Miller committed the ultimate sin, dating Amy Gunderson over the summer. At this point, there wasn't going to even he a list by Homecoming.

"Say something." Tracy kept poking me. I was going to have a serious bruise.

"Um, okay. Do you know what Ryan's dad looks like?" I began to scan the crowd - I saw Ryan's mom, stepdad, and stepsister in the crowd, waving 60 RYAN! signs. I recognized all the parents around them; nobody looked like an older version of Ryan.

Tracy groaned. "What? Who cares? Say something to Steve —get his attention."

All of a sudden, she burst out in over-the-top laughter, complete with slapping her knee. As she doubled over, she moved her knee so it hit Steve's shoulder.

"Oh, I'm so sorry." Tracy leaned forward and put her hand where her knee had been.

Steve turned around and smiled. "Hey, Tracy, don't worry about it."

"So how are classes going so far?" Tracy began.

I looked on as Tracy worked her "magic" on Steve. I was impressed by the way it seemed so effortless, even though I knew it wasn't. Every once in a while, she'd touch his arm when she was making a point and she'd laugh at pretty much everything he said. I was so entertained by her and Steve that I wasn't even watching the game.

"Hey, so are you guys going to Paul's tomorrow night?" Steve asked.

Tracy smiled. "Of course. You?"

Steve nodded. "Hey, is Diane going to go with you guys? I see that you've been hanging out with her at lunch the last couple of days."

Tracy glared at Steve, bolted up in her seat, and headed toward the aisle.

Steve looked at me. "What's with her?"

I shrugged my shoulders as I got up to find her. If I was keeping count correctly, there were now only three guys left on her list.

I was ALMOST AFRAID TO LET Tracy drive the next night to Paul's house, for fear we'd be pulled over for Driving While Under the influence of a Boy. She was looking in the rearview mirror so often to check her makeup that you would've thought she was driving backward, not forward.

When we finally pulled up outside Paul's house, there were already cars lining the entire left side of the street. We could hear music blaring from inside. I had a bad feeling about this.

"How do I look?" Tracy asked for the twelfth time. I looked out the window and saw a couple of sophomore girls wearing tight jeans and tiny pieces of fabric that I could only assume were supposed to be shirts. I glanced down at my long-sleeved top and tan cords, feeling more and more unsure about all of this by the minute.

We got out of the car and walked to the house. Suddenly, some guy burst out of the front door, startling both me and Tracy as he ran toward the bushes and threw up.

Paul appeared in the doorway. "Dude, that is so not cool," then he started laughing and gesturing for people to come and watch.

Tracy cleared her throat, hoping that Paul would notice that she'd shown up.

It worked. "Hey, guys!"

He motioned us to come inside, and I felt my heart start pounding. The odor of cigarette smoke stung my nose. My mom was going to kill me if she smelled cigarettes on me. And I didn't mean kill in a metaphoric way.