J. Fynn - The Long Game

“You know what this means, don’t you?” She tugged the bottom of my shirt up with both hands, and I lifted my arms so she could pull it over my head.

“We’ll probably both be expelled?” I asked, lifting one side of my mouth to grin at her. I guessed even vandalism couldn’t get you expelled from a school you weren’t really enrolled in, but I had to keep up the act despite how distracted I was by the feel of her fingers trailing down the ridges of my abdomen.

“No,” she said, with a playful smile. “I mean what it means for you to be here. In my room.”

“Remind me,” I said, peeling her wet shirt from her body and up over her head as she’d done mine. I tossed it to the side and immediately brought my hands to her now-bare shoulder blades. The pale pink satin of her bra was practically invisible against her creamy skin, and my fingers twitched with anticipation when they found the clasp at the middle of her back. I wondered if she’d stop me when I moved to undo it, but she just moved closer, pressing her belly to mine.

“It means we’re official,” she said, her voice barely above a whisper. “It means we can be together.”

I slid one strap from her shoulder where a light dusting of freckles peppered her skin, and I bent my head, intent on kissing each one. She tilted her head away from mine, and I trailed my lips up her neck to the sensitive patch of skin under her earlobe. I heard her breathe out a quiet gasp, and the sound of her pleasure made my whole body ache to have her. I slid my hand up her thigh and underneath her wet skirt, then tugged at the waist of the panties underneath. She helped by slipping the other side from her hip, and they fell to the floor. She stepped out of them and nudged them aside with her foot, then pulled her arms out of her bra and discarded that as well. I took a long moment to admire her, naked to the waist, and was impressed by how unselfconscious she seemed under my hungry gaze. Looking didn’t satisfy me for long, though, and soon my mouth was on hers. I moved one hand to her breast, gently pinching the rosy tip between my thumb and finger. My other hand moved up her thigh again, and this time there was no cloth to separate my fingers from the slick warmth between her legs. She rocked against my hand, and I dropped my head to her breast and took it into my mouth.

“Shane.” Her breath shuddered when she said it, and for the first time, I wished I had told her my real name.

She forced me back so she could undo the button of my shorts, then pushed them from my hips. Once they’d slid from my waist, I sprang to attention, and Spencer smiled now that it was her turn to do the admiring. I fidgeted, far more uncomfortable than she’d seemed to be. I wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her against me, using her body to block her view. She gave a quiet laugh as she slipped her skirt off. I kissed her again and walked forward, pushing her along with me until we’d found the bed. There would be no interruptions this time. No OIA sisters with shows to watch, no phone calls, no voice in the back of my head or hers telling us to slow down. I honestly didn’t give one thought to the con. All I knew was that I wanted her. Completely. And when I laid her back against the pillows and positioned myself over her, Spencer looked up at me with an expression that told me I could have everything I wanted.

* * *

Exhausted, but with a mind too restless for sleep, I watched the fading sunlight through Spencer’s bedroom window. Her deep, even breathing was the only sound in the room, and I lay on my side next to her, running a hand up and down the naked skin of her back. She’d fallen asleep over an hour ago, each of us finally sated, but I still hadn’t been able to stop touching her. Some irrational part of me was afraid that, if I did, she might fade away like the setting sun. I wanted to hold on to this moment, just for a little while longer. She lay on her stomach, her face turned toward me, and I moved her hair to the side so I could see every inch of it. I’d wanted her so badly that I hadn’t allowed myself to think about how hurt she’d be when she realized I’d used her. If I’d thought of it, I don’t think I would’ve been able to go through with it. She’d realize the betrayal eventually, no matter how careful I was in getting back the ledger. I wanted to commit this moment to memory, memorize every inch of her, and I’d spend all night doing it because I didn’t know what the morning would bring.

“Spencer,” I whispered.

She inhaled deeply through her nose but made no other sound to indicate she’d heard me.

I kissed her cheek, but she still didn’t move or speak. She was in a more peaceful sleep than I’d probably ever get again.

My lips moved before I could stop them, and I spoke the words that I’d felt but hadn’t been able to fully admit for a while now. “I think I love you.”

I SHUT THE bedroom door as quietly as I could with my hands full of coffee and muffins. I’d gone back to the Carroll Center just after dawn, mostly to get breakfast but also to see what kind of damage we’d done the day before. I’d had no choice but to wear Spencer’s slippers, but luckily for me no one noticed. The fountain had been turned off and most of the bubbles had been cleared away, but the water’s surface had a frothy sheen.

Spencer was still asleep. I knew she had an early class, and as badly as I wanted to crawl back into bed with her, I wasn’t going to let her get into the habit of skiving off. I set the coffee and muffins down on the desk and sat on the edge of the bed. I watched her sleep for a few seconds more before I leaned down and pressed a soft kiss to her lips. Her eyes fluttered, then opened, and she gave me a sleepy smile.

“Morning, beautiful,” I said.

“Morning.” She yawned and stretched the sleep from her shoulders and back.

“I brought you some breakfast.” I reached for one of the paper cups and handed it to her. “You may want to avoid the Carroll Center for a few days until they get things cleaned up and that guy has a chance to forget what we look like.”

She snickered into the lid of her cup as she took a sip.

“So,” I said, feeling a little awkward all of a sudden. “I guess I should let you get ready for class.” I stood up but leaned back down to give her a quick kiss. “I’ll see you soon.”

“Any plans for dinner?” she asked

“Not that I can think of. What did you have in mind?”

“Well, I was thinking, since we kind of…made things official last night, maybe it’s time I introduce you to my dad. I’m supposed to have dinner with him this evening. I thought you could come.”

It took me a few seconds to process what she’d just offered. An invitation to Tommy’s house. Tonight. Something that would have thrilled me just a few days earlier had my stomach in knots today. “Sure.” I grinned at her, hoping it hid the conflicting emotions I felt. “As long as we don’t have to tell him how we ‘made it official.’”

“Heh. Yeah, no.” She grimaced. “It’s going to be hard enough for him to deal with the whole ‘boyfriend’ thing without putting that image into his head.”

“Good deal. You want to go over together?”

“I’m going early to help cook, but I’ll text you the address. It’s right on the Main Line, really close to the train stop.”

“Time?” It occurred to me that I was way more interested in how soon I’d be seeing her again than how soon I’d be getting into Tommy’s house.

“Sevenish?”

“I’ll see you then. Have fun in class.”

She rolled her eyes dramatically. “Oh, yeah. Microeconomics is a party.”

I chuckled and bent down once more to kiss her on the forehead. “See you at seven.”

* * *

I climbed the wooden stairs to my efficiency, thinking about dinner that evening. I knew I should be happy that I’d finally gotten what I’d come for—or at least was closer to it—but I couldn’t shake the feeling of Spencer in my arms last night or the image of her asleep in bed next to me. I couldn’t stand the idea that I’d lose the chance to ever see her again. If I found the ledger tonight, I’d be on my way back to the Village by this time tomorrow.

But then, what were the chances Tommy would keep something like that just laying around? Odds were good I might not even find it tonight. Or ever, really. The thought of failure suddenly didn’t seem so bad, and I quickened my pace up the rickety steps.

The smell of cigarette smoke caught my attention before I heard the reedy voice. “Well, well. Look who finally decided to show up.”

I stopped short, astonished by the sight of Judd Sheedy leaning back against my door, dangling a burning cigarette between his knees.

“What the hell are you doing here?” I’d assumed the Mercedes I’d passed on my way up the driveway belonged to a guest of my landlord’s, but I shouldn’t have missed the Louisiana plates. My time with Spencer was making me soft.

“Pop was starting to worry that you might be fucking around up here on his dime.” He flicked the cigarette at my feet. “I came to make sure the job gets done.”

I swept the smoldering butt off the stairs with the side of my bare foot. “Thanks, but I’m doing fine on my own. You can tell Pop that when you get home.”

“Nuh-uh.” He shook his head. “I’m staying until you get the book or I get it myself.”

The idea of Judd Sheedy getting anywhere near Spencer had me to the landing and yanking him to his feet by his shirt collar before I had time to think about it. I slammed him back against the door.

“I don’t need your help,” I said through gritted teeth. “Just stay out of my way.”

Judd flashed his rat-like sneer. “Easy, Buffer. This ain’t much of a welcome. You haven’t even invited me in for tea. What would Maggie say?”

I exhaled slowly, forcing myself to calm down. He hadn’t even mentioned Spencer, so there was no use getting into a fight in full view of my landlord’s house and getting us both kicked off the property. I let him go and nudged in between him and the door so I could unlock it.

“Come on.” I yanked the door and stepped aside. “Get in here before someone sees you and thinks I’ve started taking in vagrants.”

“Nice,” Judd said. “Mr. Big Shot pretends to be in college and suddenly thinks he’s better than me. Just remember, you haven’t found that book yet and odds are you never will. You think you were dog shit in the clan before? Just wait until you have to go back empty-handed.”

I slammed the door behind me and flicked a light switch to illuminate the dim apartment. “Fuck off.”

Judd crossed to the refrigerator. “So, Buffer…” He helped himself to a long swig of milk straight from the carton and swiped the back of his hand across his mouth. “What’s your plan? Assuming you even have one.”

“As a matter of fact, I’m having dinner at Tommy’s tonight.” I knew I shouldn’t have let him get under my skin—the less Judd knew the better—but I couldn’t help taking the bait when he started in on me that way.

“And it only took you, what, a month?” He tossed the open carton back inside the refrigerator, and I saw a stream of milk spill out before he slammed the door shut.

I grabbed a rag from the counter. “You’re a damn slob, you know it?” I shoved him aside and opened the door again. The carton had nearly emptied itself, and milk pooled on the bottom shelf. I sopped it up and threw the wet rag into the sink.

“What do I care about cleaning up? That’s what women are for. And pussies like you, I guess.” He laughed at his own joke and made himself comfortable at the kitchen table, sitting in one chair and putting his feet up on the other. “So tell me about this dinner.”

“There’s nothing to tell. I’m going to Tommy’s around seven, and I’ll look for the ledger while I’m there.”

“That’s your big plan?”

“Do you have a better one?”

“What if I do? This ain’t my show. You’re the one who wants to be the big hero.”

“I thought you came to make sure the job was done right, Prince.”

“I’m here to make sure you don’t fuck it up, Buffer. I know how you are when you get a good whiff of some pretty slash. You start thinking with your johnson, and there ain’t much there to think with.”

I kicked the chair out from under his feet, and they crashed to the floor, pulling him to the edge of his seat. He sprang out of the chair and slammed his hands into my chest, shoving me backward.

I hit the refrigerator and sent magnets scattering. I was back in his face in a heartbeat, though, my hands clenched into fists. “You just remember who Pop sent here in the first place, asshole. If he thought you were even close to smart enough, don’t you think he would have sent you instead?”