Not that he could blame her. Now, he would have to wait until tomorrow to call on her and ask for an explanation. But he had no way of justifying his brother’s actions, if he was to take her remarks as truth. No way of discovering why Laurence would have sent her such a note. Could Tessa have been so secluded from society gossip that she didn’t know Laurence had died over a year ago? Or that Garrett had inherited the title?

He walked back out to the terrace and sat on a stone bench, remembering a night like this five years ago. Making love to her out in the garden had been one of the more foolish things he had done in his life. And yet, the most memorable. She had been driving him insane with desire for a month before she finally let him kiss her. But one kiss hadn’t been enough for either of them.

Why she’d agreed to marry Townson had never made any sense to him. Garrett had written her a letter the very next morning offering to marry her via proxy once he arrived with his unit in Belgium. But she had never replied. Instead, he’d received a letter from Laurence stating that she had married Townson. Laurence had implied she married him for the title and money.

Garrett went a little mad after receiving his brother’s letter. Placing himself in dangerous situations, perhaps hoping God would take him. Obviously, God hadn’t wanted him any more than Tessa had.

Still, he owed her an explanation, just as she owed him one.

Three

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Tessa demanded of Grace the next morning. “You knew he was alive and you never told me. How could you do that?”

Grace stared down at her hands. “By the time I discovered he was alive, it was too late, Tessa. You had already married Townson. There was nothing you could have done.”

Tessa strode across the small parlour of Grace’s home. Dodging Louisa, who lay on the floor petting the cat, Tessa stalked past the wingback chair where Grace sat, then stopped.

“Why didn’t you tell me after Townson died?”

“I didn’t want him to hurt you again,” she replied quickly. “I was only trying to protect you. The only reason I agreed to go to that ball last night was because I’d heard he would not be there.”

Tessa looked up at the white ceiling. “Grace, you know I would have discovered the truth sometime. You should have told me so I didn’t embarrass myself in front of all those people … again.”

“I’m sorry, Tessa. I honestly never meant to hurt you.”

“I know.” She walked the length of the room again, this time stopping by the fireplace. “Has he married, then?” she whispered.

Grace shook her head. “No. His brother died a little over a year ago and now that he is Viscount Haverhill, everyone is expecting him to start courting an eligible lady.”

Tessa swallowed back the bitter taste that filled her mouth. The idea of Garrett marrying someone made her clutch her stomach. Now she would have to spend the whole season watching him court some young woman.

“He said he wrote me a letter that I never received.” Tessa resumed her pacing. “I wonder why I never learned of it.”

“Do you think he was lying?”

Tessa frowned and shook her head. “He seemed quite sincere.”

“Your parents might have intercepted it,” Grace said, looking up at Tessa as she passed the chair again. “You know they didn’t approve of him. They felt his prospects were limited at best.”

“He was an officer in the military. The second son of a viscount. There is nothing wrong with that.”

“True. But they had higher expectations for you than a military man.”

Tessa shook her head in disbelief. Could her parents have been so deceitful? In her heart, she knew they could. All they had wanted for her was a wealthy peer who would marry her and take her out of their home.

A knock scraped the door and Grace’s butler peered into the room. “Lady Townson, you have a caller.”

Tessa frowned. “Who is it?”

“Lord Haverhill, ma’am. Shall I inform him that you are not at home?”

“No, show him to the receiving salon. I shall be there presently,” Tessa replied, as nervous energy filled her.

As the door shut, Tessa looked back at Grace. “What am I to do now?”

Grace smiled sympathetically. “Talk to him and find out where your letters crossed.”

Tessa nodded. With a breath for strength, she walked to the receiving parlour. And there he was. He rose to his full height upon her entry. Could she really have forgotten what a handsome man he was?

His black hair was longer than he used to wear it, but still just as striking. His green eyes were the lightest she had ever seen, almost the colour of a peridot. His square face, straight nose and brilliant smile made him hard to resist. And resist him was exactly what she should have done five years ago. Today, those intense eyes burned her as she walked slowly into the room.

“Lady Townson,” he said with a quick bow.

“Lord Haverhill.” She took a seat as far from him as possible.

“I believe we should talk about what happened last night.” The stiffness in his voice carried through to his body. He crossed his arms over his chest as he waited for her to speak.

Tessa’s heart pounded. “I am not sure there is any more to discuss.”

“You told me you received a letter from my brother stating I had died. I find it difficult to believe my brother would have done such a thing. He knew how I felt about you at the time.”

She blinked in surprise. “You don’t believe me?”

“I said, ‘I find it difficult to believe’. Not impossible.”

His cold tone sent a shiver through her. “I still have the letter,” she whispered. She had kept all of Garrett’s letters. She had reread them every night after Townson left her bed.

He closed his eyes and blew out a long sigh. “Might I see it?”

Tessa hated the tension this discussion brought. The two of them used to be able to talk about everything. Now, he could barely stand being in the same room as her. “It is in my bedchamber. I will ask a footman to retrieve it for me.” She rose and walked to the door. After speaking to the footman, she returned.

“You never received another letter from me after the one from my brother?” he asked quietly.

“No. What was in it?”

“Nothing of importance,” he muttered then swore under his breath. He rose with the assistance of his cane and walked to the fireplace. “Are you lying to me, Tessa?”

She watched him limp to the fireplace and her heart went out to him. He had been a brilliant horseman before the war and now he looked as if he could never ride again. She wondered if the wound pained him.

“Tessa, are you lying to me?”

“Of course not,” she snapped. “What purpose would I have in lying to you?”

He turned at her outburst. “Excuse me?”

“Your letter broke my heart, Garrett.”

His smile turned nasty. “I’m certain you were so heartbroken that you let your parents marry you off to old Townson. Of course, he was a much better catch, being a viscount.”

“Get out of this house,” she said, pointing towards the door.

“Not until I see this supposed letter you received.” He walked towards her, leaning heavily on his cane.

Each step brought him closer, until she could smell the aroma of his sandalwood soap. She shouldn’t feel this attraction to him. This desire to run her hand down his cheek, just to feel the rough stubble there.

“Why did you marry him?”

“I thought you were dead,” she whispered. “I didn’t care who I married after I had lost you.”

He closed his eyes. “I see.”

“I don’t think you do.” She should tell him the real reason for her marriage, but that news would only cause him more pain.

“Did your parents force the marriage?” He opened his eyes again and stared at her.

Tessa nodded. “They felt it was the best for me. My reputation was in ruins. I had no prospects for a decent marriage.”

“Excuse me, ma’am,” a footman paused at the threshold. “Here are the letters you asked me to fetch for you.” He handed them to her before disappearing.

Tessa stared down at the bundle of letters tied together with a blue ribbon. She pulled out the top letter that she had read hundreds of times. In it, he had expressed his love for her and his sorrow at losing her so soon. Slowly, she held out the worn paper to him.

“This is your letter.” She then sorted through the other letters until she found the one from his brother. “And this is your brother’s note.”

He opened the first note and stared down at it. For a long moment he said nothing, and then he handed the papers back to her. “I am dreadfully sorry, Tessa. That note was not supposed to go to you unless I died. I can only assume that Laurence decided he wanted you out of my life and this was the best way to do it. Unfortunately, we will never know for certain.”

He retrieved his cane and walked towards the door.

He was leaving? She couldn’t let him go just yet. There was more they had to discuss, wasn’t there?

“How were you injured?” she asked.

“I was shot in the hip.” He continued to shuffle to the door. His limp was much more pronounced than it had been yesterday.

She bit down on her lip and tried not to cry. He could have lost his leg to an injury like that or, worse, died from an infection. Had things worked out between them, she could have been the one to help him recover, or rub his hip when it pained him. Now he was walking out the door, and if she didn’t try to stop him, she might not see him again.

“Would you like to stay for some tea?”

He stopped and slowly turned to face her. “Tessa, I believe it would be best for both of us to continue with our lives as usual. What happened is in the past. Nothing can change it. Good day.” Then he was gone.

She couldn’t move as he walked out of her life again. Dropping to a chair, she stared at the low fire glowing in the fireplace. While she still had feelings for him, perhaps he felt nothing for her? Perhaps he was right — they should continue as if they had never found each other again.

A burning flame of anger lit her. Standing up, she walked across the room to the window. Pulling back the heavy velvet curtain, she watched as he clambered up to his coach. Something was keeping him from letting her back into his life. And she did not believe it was her marriage or the deception of his brother, or her parents.

She was determined to find the true cause of his reluctance.

Four

As his coach eased away from Tessa’s home, Garrett stared up at the window where she stood watching him. This was for the best, he told himself. The last thing she needed was to be burdened with a cripple.

He leaned his head back against the squabs. Dammit! Why did she have to come back to town? She should have stayed in the country and found a homely squire to marry and give her babies. She shouldn’t have returned where he would see her every time he attended a ball. Just being in the same room with her had been torture. It had taken all of his resolve and military training to walk away from her.

When she had asked him to stay for tea, he’d wanted to say yes. Wanted to spend more time in her company. Wanted to kiss her until she moaned with pleasure. Not that he understood why she would want to spend a second longer in his company than needed. He had discovered quickly that his injury frightened many of the young ladies away. They wanted a whole man, not someone who could not even dance with them.

The best course of action was to stay away from her. After he’d been wounded, he decided he would never subject a woman to marrying half a man. His younger brother Robert, or one of Robert’s sons, could inherit the title and estates when the time came. For now, he would continue on, rebuilding the fortune that Laurence had lost over the years. And he would not think about Tessa.

Garrett almost laughed at the thought.

He had thought about Tessa almost every day for the past five years. Seeing her had only relit the flame of his desire. Knowing that tonight he would most likely run into her again, only made him want her more.

Somehow, he would fight his feelings for her.

Garrett scanned the audience, determined to find her. The opera would be starting soon and he knew if he didn’t see her before it started he would never be able to watch the performance. Remembering her favourite colour was sapphire, he examined every woman dressed in any shade of blue. As the orchestra started, he moved to violet gowns, another of her favourites. Again, he didn’t find her.