The emptiness in his eyes spoke volumes. Julietta clenched her hand in an effort not to reach across the table for contact, as if the feel of flesh on flesh could possibly soothe the gaping wound she knew nothing about. What demons rocked his past? Maybe it was better to never know. “God, I hope so,” he said. “But I won’t know until I get there.”
The waiter interrupted with a variety of steaming plates.
Crispy octopus paired with buffalo mozzarella and salty an-chovies and capers; bite-size beef ravioli in a creamy butter and thyme sauce; grilled eggplant and zucchini drizzled with oil and an array of salts. An odd intimacy buzzed around them, as if sharing secrets at the back of an Italian restaurant bonded them. What was going on? She’d gone on hundreds of business dinners to discuss contracts. Met many attractive, dynamic men who initially interested her.
The outcome always made her back away, but Sawyer challenged her at every turn and seemed to crave something more than the others. As if he not only wanted to strip her clothes off to view her naked body. Almost like he wanted to delve into her soul.
ridiculous.
She fought a shiver and bit into her eggplant. The toasty skin swirled with the pungent flavors of garlic and tomato sauce, soothing her temper. “Why did you pick Milan to un-veil your first hotels? Wouldn’t you be more comfortable back home?”
He waited to respond, obviously enjoying his food, which gave him extra points. Most Americans appreciated vast quantities with too much garnish and detail. She pre-ferred the simpler, richer ingredients in a meal that satisfied a deeper hunger in the body.
“I don’t have a home.”
His simple confession ripped past her ears. Her fork paused midair. “What do you mean? Max said you lived in Vegas and New york for a while.”
one broad shoulder lifted in a half shrug. “I live in whatever hotel I’m working on. It allows me freedom, a luxurious lifestyle, and expertise.” Shadows flickered over his face. “I stayed in Milan when I was young and learning the business. I’ve also spent a few years at the Carlton, so I’m quite comfortable in New york. I decided it would be poetic to begin here. I usually stay still for about a year.
Longer than that and I’m ready to bail.”
Her heart flinched. Family and home were part of her blood, and she couldn’t imagine not having a built-in support system. Her brother and sister might have fled to New york, but Julietta gained most of her strength from the crooked pavement under her feet and the vast Tuscan sky overhead. She had no desire to move anywhere else.
Sawyer’s casual reference to his wandering tendencies only confirmed a deeper loneliness he didn’t seem to care about.
There was no reason for her to care either. The man didn’t need any extra female support. He’d use any weak-ness to his advantage, including the possibility of her attraction. Julietta tamped down on an inner smirk. If only he knew such a road would lead him nowhere.
“you never want more?” she asked. “A place to call yours?”
She immediately regretted the impulsive words. Heat flared and crackled with amber flames, hotter than the one-hundred-proof whiskey Papa used to sneak in when he thought Mama wasn’t looking. Sawyer’s lips twisted in a sensual sneer. “overrated. I’ve learned to appreciate the present in all aspects. Taste, texture, sight, smell. I revel in everything given to me, because there’s no guarantee it’ll be there tomorrow. My home is my current location— nothing more, nothing less.” raw passion flicked from across the table and singed her like droplets of burning water.
“except Purity. It’s the one thing I want to say is a constant.
everything else eventually withers.”
“even love?”
The words flew from her lips, and she almost gasped in horror. Her cheeks heated. Dio mio, what had she done?
She must be having some kind of midlife crisis. Her normal temperament and control slipped around this man in a way that terrified her. She waited for his fury at such an intimate question, but his fork paused midair, as if he was just as shocked as she was. “What did you say?”
Julietta forced a half laugh. “I’m sorry—please disregard that question. I don’t know what came over me.”
“I think I do.” His gaze stripped, probed, tore. It took all her strength not to buckle from the intensity. “I appreciate a woman who asks whatever is on her mind. There is more strength in honesty than in pretty words that never scratch the surface of what’s real.”
“There’s no need to—”
“But I will. No, Julietta, I do not believe in love. Never have. I believe in passion and lust, honesty and loyalty. I believe in hard work and sacrifice. I believe in enjoying the gifts of this world. But I do not believe in love.”
Her fingers trembled. She reached out and drained her glass, trying not to show him how his words affected her.
Had she ever met another man with such a powerful presence? As if no topic was off-limits, and he was willing to explore every dark hidden corner of her body and soul with a fierce pleasure? yet he calmly shared one of his secrets like a gift.
He did not believe in love.
Julietta waited for the rush of relief but only experienced an odd uneasiness. Why did his confession bother her? An answering grief rose in her gut to mourn for a man she did not know, a man who asserted he experienced no gentler emotions. She ached to know more, but the longing could only end badly. He watched her, unblinking, from across the table. And she made her decision.
Their relationship must be held strictly to business.
Nothing more.
It was time she laid out the ground rules.
She pushed her plate away and snapped back to attention. “Thank you for sharing, but my question was uncalled for, and I apologize. I think moving forward we should keep the topics of conversation to work.”
His lip quirked and just like that, his emotions shifted back to distant amusement. Damn him for confusing her.
Damn him for making her act like a fool. “Such politeness.
I’m sure I made you uncomfortable talking about things that are . . . messy.”
She managed not to flinch, but her temper rose. “This will be a long journey, and we need to work closely together. Distractions from either of us would be unwelcome at this point.”
“Such as sex?”
This time, she jerked. Her glass tipped, but she grabbed it in time and righted it. Naked humor carved out the lines of his face. “Do you like to shock women, Sawyer?” she mocked. “you won’t find me that easy to manage. I’ve been harassed, propositioned, and insulted, and I’ve dealt with an array of masculine temper tantrums. I’ve seen it all and can handle it. I prefer to keep our relationship mutually beneficial for all involved, but if you want to play hardball, that’s fine, too. Capisce?”
…
Sawyer studied the woman across the table. Her gorgeous brown eyes snapped with leashed anger and a banked sensuality she kept ruthlessly in check. It was official.
He was nuts about her.
Her mind alone brought him to ecstatic heights he’d missed. The thrust and parry of conversation engaged his intellect, while his body hummed with pleasure from her physical presence. She was his feminine equal in all forms except her refusal to admit she wanted him.
But she did.
every hitched breath she tried to mask played like Mozart to his ears. Her control was fierce, but he spotted breaks in her armor in ways she hadn’t counted on. The quick flare of interest in her eyes at the mention of the word sex. The slight tremble in her fingers as she gripped the fork.
Didn’t she know her proper white bra against a silk white blouse was a man’s private fantasy? The barest shadow of her nipples pushed against her bra and begged for freedom.
She had a delicious habit of running her tongue over her bottom lip that forced a man to imagine what she’d taste like. And that damn red scarf? He’d put it to much more practical uses then entwining it around her delicate neck for fashion purposes. Namely making sure she couldn’t move while he stripped her of that very proper blouse and bra and pleasured her breasts. Slowly. on his terms.
of course, the most intriguing part was her refusal to acknowledge any of it.
Her body was in lockdown. How sweet to imagine breaking her out of that prison and being the one who reaped the benefit? He wondered what asshole convinced her to ignore her physical need. Why else would a vibrant, sophisticated woman hide behind work?
He’d pushed during dinner because he needed a full analysis. She was right, though. He’d never risk the contract to scratch an itch, and he bet she dealt with a lot of men who treated her like crap. Perhaps it was time to tell her a bit more of his truth so she clearly knew his motivations.
For now, she deserved an answer.
“I never meant to offend you, Julietta.” Her name melted over his tongue like a Godiva truffle. Sweet and dark and rich. “Let’s get something straight. I have no need to threaten or bully a woman into bed. I enjoy sex and giving pleasure. I find you fascinating, complex, and hot as hell.
I also think you may be the only woman I’ve met in the past few years who made me crave to break a few rules just to put my hands on her. In her. over her. But if you go screaming foul play and harassment, I’ll politely back away and leave you alone. Capisce? Now breathe.”
At his command, the air let loose from her lungs in a rush. She sat frozen in her chair, eyes wide with a combination of shock, confusion, and a touch of fear. The fear mixed with a flash of pure longing. yes, she wanted him, too. Interesting. Why wouldn’t she act on it? Why did a man showing interest freak her out so much?
The waiter glided by, cleared their plates, and asked if they wanted dessert.
“No,” she said firmly.
“Tiramisu, please,” he countered. “Two espressos with sambuca.”
She tossed him a dirty look, and he struggled with the instinct to kiss it right off her. How could a woman who used no lipstick have such a succulent mouth? All pouty and pale pink. “I hope this isn’t going to be a precursor of your need to run things,” she said. “Though I appreciate your forthrightness regarding the initial attraction to me, I assure you it will fade. I have no time to engage in affairs.”
Her prim tone made a surge of lust hit his gut and spread. He shifted in his chair and adjusted the napkin.
“Why do you think it will fade?”
Her gaze shifted. She threw back her shoulders, but he caught the tension in each fine bone of her body. “It always does.”
“Do you want me?”
This time, she couldn’t hold back a gasp. “We just met yesterday. I don’t go jumping into bed with strange men or make decisions regarding my attraction after one dinner.”
“Sometimes that’s the best time to trust your instincts.
The moment we rationalize chemistry, we risk losing it for-ever.”
His words seemed to strike a chord. regret dimmed the light in her eyes. Protectiveness surged through him and rattled his calm. He ached to pull her into his arms and hold her, rock her, soothe the sadness lurking beneath the cool surface. But she didn’t belong to him, so he had no rights.
yet.
Dessert arrived, and she chose to keep her silence. They nibbled on the cocoa biscuit and savored the rich cream of soaked ladyfingers and cinnamon. The sting of liquor in the dark espresso brew hit Sawyer’s belly hard and heated his veins. He watched as Julietta’s thoughts scrambled, evident in the slight frown marring her brow and the concentration stamped on her face. The bill came and he paid, sparing her a quick warning glance when she opened her mouth to protest. When the dessert plate was scraped clean and the cups emptied, she patted her lips with the napkin and met his gaze.
“I think we’re going to make a great team,” she said slowly. “But I’m not interested in bringing this into the bedroom. I have my reasons, and I appreciate your can-dor. you’re an attractive man, and in other circumstances, I would jump at the chance to engage in a hot affair. Please respect my decision, and don’t push me any further. Just . . .
don’t.”
Her voice broke slightly on the last word. His heart squeezed with a need he didn’t recognize, but he knew the rules. Created the rules. Both parties must be willing in order to move forward. An element of trust proved key to keeping the relationship burning at a high flame without blazing. The alpha wolf in him howled with lust and challenge to change her mind and make her beg for torturing him. Sawyer waited for the mess of emotions to finish rac-ing through him before he wrested control and blanked out his thoughts.
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