Jennifer Probst - The Marriage Mistake

Excitement curled in her belly. For the first time, she’d discovered a talent that made her money and made her happy. Now, with the final painting in the collection, she was ready to take another big leap. She’d placed a call to Sawyer, and a consultant was coming to look at her work. She’d been warned the advisor was brutal, and if there wasn’t a chance at a sale, he’d tell her straight up. Carina was thrilled—she wanted honesty and knew if her art wasn’t up to par, she’d work harder the next time. Finally, her life began to shift and take focus.

Except for missing her husband.

A piece inside of her seemed to be permanently broken without him. Since the day she left, he hadn’t contacted her. Ten days dragged on until it seemed she’d go mad if she couldn’t see his face. He haunted her dreams at night and during the day. She managed to pour most of her angst into her work and hoped the gritty feel of her portraits translated to the regular onlooker. It was funny how heartbreak turned into great art.

Carina brought herself back to the present. “I’d love to be part owner of BookCrazy,” she said. “Thank you for trusting me, Alexa.”

“Are you kidding? You worked your ass off and proved yourself. I give nothing for free.”

Maggie nodded. “She’s a pushover with kids and dogs, but a shark when it comes to business.”

Carina laughed. “Good to know.”

“So, how is Gabby doing? She looks completely healed,” Maggie said.

Carina glanced at the dove who cooed in her cage. Gabby liked to listen to the other birds in the trees outside and seemed content to stay close to her side. But Carina knew it was almost time to let her go. The wing had fully healed, and her owner wanted her back. A tiny flare of uncertainty rippled through her. Maybe Gabby needed some more time. Maybe she wasn’t ready yet.

“She’ll be ready to fly soon.”

Alexa sighed. “I’d love to have a dove as a pet, but the dogs would probably get jealous.”

Maggie snored. “Yeah, my brother with a bird. He almost killed the fish. That’s a disaster in the making.”

Alexa stuck out her tongue.

“Well, we have to get going. Just wanted to stop by and make sure you’re okay.” Carina kissed them and her nephews good-bye. Maggie squeezed her hand. “Just remember, we’re here if you need us. Any time.”

“Thanks, guys.”

Carina watched them walk away with a heavy heart. Then she got back to work.

* * *

Carina clicked off her cell phone with trembling fingers.

She got a show.

She let out a whoop and jumped around the room, throwing in hip-hop moves and general butt shaking. The consultant had torn her work apart and pointed out every item that wouldn’t close a sale. She took the criticism with her chin up and a steel core. Told him she’d do better next time.

He nodded, gave her his card, and left.

One week later, Sawyer called with the news that his friend couldn’t get her work out of his mind. He wanted her to tweak some things, create one more original piece, and he’d give her a shot. Giddiness popped like soda bubbles until she’d imagined she could fly. Carina stared at her BlackBerry and paused on the number.

She wanted to call Max.

Not her mother, or Michael, or Maggie. She wanted to call her husband, who probably wouldn’t be her husband any longer. The one who told her to paint for her happiness, and that she was so much more than she thought she was.

A knock sounded on the door.

Heart pounding, she decided Fate had sent her an answer. If it was Max, she’d leap into his arms and beg forgiveness. Carina walked over and opened the door.

Her mother stood on the threshold.

Her shoulders slumped, but she managed a cheery smile. “Hi, Mama. I’m glad you are here. I have wonderful news.”

With a kiss on the cheek, her mother’s cane pounded on the scarred wooden floors. “Tell me. You seem happy.”

Carina told her the news. The pride on her mother’s face satisfied something deep inside. “I knew you would make a success of your painting. You have been very focused these past few weeks. May I see them?”

Panic nibbled on her nerves. “Umm, I’ll show you when I am finished. You can see them at the show.”

Mama Conte shook her head. “I am sorry, Carina, that is why I’ve come to talk to you. I’m ready to go home. I will return by the end of the week.”

“Oh.” The tiny sound seemed pathetic even to her ears. She’d gotten used to having her mom around. Friday night dinners were boisterous, and like a divorced couple, she and Max alternated each Friday night to give the other a chance with the family. With a deep sigh, her mother leaned her cane against the couch and sat on the battered cushions. “Are you feeling okay, Mama?”

“Of course. Just tired and ready to see my home.”

Carina smiled and sat down next to her mother. She took her weathered hand and clasped it within hers. Hands that baked and rocked babies and soothed tears. Hands that build a strong business by kneading dough and juggling a dozen balls in the air at once. “I understand. I’m going to miss you so much.”

“And will you be okay here without me? Do you want to come home?”

She pressed a kiss to her mother’s hand. “No. I’m building my home here on my own terms. I feel stronger. More like a woman who knows what she wants and less like a girl.”

Mama Conte sighed. “Because your heart was broken. We age faster that way. Neither good nor bad. It just is.”

“Yes.”

“But I must tell you something about Maximus.”

“Mama—”

“Shush, just listen. When you were little, you used to stare after that boy with your heart in your eyes. I knew with you it was a forever love, not a crush. But you were too young, and Maximus is a good boy. His job was to protect you until you were a woman. And he did.”

Her mother smiled at the memory. “I always saw the way he looked at you. When he thought no one was looking and he was safe. With a wistful, loving glance that filled my heart. I knew time needed to pass in order to do its job with both of you. I know there were heartaches, but they were necessary to get you here. The morning I walked in on you, I mentioned marriage for one specific reason. I knew he needed the push. He was too afraid of Michael, and of your past relationship. Something needed to break that barrier to give you two a chance. I may have suggested it, but that man does what he wants, and no sense of honor would have had him ask for your hand in marriage if he didn’t want to.

“Max loves you. But now it’s your turn to make a decision. You need to be strong enough to stand beside him and ask for his love. You’re going to have to take a chance on yourself. We all believe in you. Isn’t it time you believe in yourself?”

“I don’t know, Mama. I just don’t know.”

Her mother sighed deeply and looked out the window. “I hoped it would work out differently, but did not plan on you being so stubborn. Of course, I had the same problem with Michael and Maggie, but thank goodness that worked out.”

Carina tilted her head. “What do you mean?”

Mama Conte cackled. “Oh, my, I knew when they showed up they lied about being married. I also knew they were perfect together, so I arranged the priest to come to the house.”

Carina’s mouth fell open. Her mother had fallen sick and requested Maggie and Michael to be married in front of her. Amazing. The whole time her mother knew everything, and planned her own coup.

“You’re ruthless. Why didn’t I know this?”

“I’m a mother. We do what we need for our children when they need a push. Now if I can only get Julietta to look at a man rather than a spreadsheet.”

Carina laughed. “Good luck.”

Carina reached out and took her mother in her arms. The familiar scent of baking and powder and comfort swarmed around her and soothed her soul. “I love you, Mama.”

“And I love you, my sweet girl.”

They stayed in each other’s arms for a while before Carina felt strong enough to let go.

* * *

It was time.

Carina stood outside with Gabby on her arm.

The sun poured warm over her skin and the dove’s white feathers gleamed. “I love you, sweet girl.” She stroked her downy chest. The bird cocked her head and cooed as if sensing her good-bye. Carina hesitated. She knew she’d never see Gabby again, knew she’d fly to her home and leave her behind, completely healed.

The lightbulb moment clicked on and splintered in a thousand pieces.

Max loved her.

Hadn’t she doubted herself for too long? When was it time to grab for her happiness, with a clear understanding she was deserving of Maximus Gray and everything he had to offer? These past few weeks without him showed her she could stand on her own now. Go after her dreams. Fail and not fall apart. Ask for what she wanted without fear.

She could live without him, but she didn’t want to.

Her husband loved her, but he needed a woman who was worthy. She never believed in herself enough to give him everything, always afraid he’d realize she wasn’t good enough.

Her mother’s words swirled in her head and made her dizzy.

Isn’t it time you believe in yourself?

Yes.

“It’s time to fly, Gabby.”

Carina threw up her arm. The dove’s wings flapped and she took flight. Soaring gracefully up into the sky, her white wings stark against the wood of the trees, she watched her disappear. Fat puffy clouds floated by, until there was nothing left.

Her tummy steadied. A deep knowledge pulsed from within. She trusted the instinct and realized it was time to move forward. Time to be the woman she was always meant to be.

Time to claim her husband.

Max looked up at the sign over the trendy gallery in SoHo.

Carina’s name was scrawled in fancy calligraphy, and cheery white lights strung around the outside of the space caught the attention of onlookers. He dragged in a lungful of air and hoped he had enough strength to get through the evening.

The invitation to her first show was both startling and ironic. Pride choked him. His talented, beautiful wife finally knew her worth and he wasn’t here to celebrate with her. But he couldn’t deny the need to see her one more time in her glory. Needed to lay his gaze on her work, while he remembered making love to her in the workroom as he covered her in chocolate body paint.

His gut coiled into a solid ball of regret.

Max opened the door and walked in.

The space was large and open, with wide pillars naturally separating the room into quadrants. A full bar and cocktail waiters strolled around giving out champagne, wine, and a variety of appetizers. Crowds milled around in various groups, chatting and laughing as they made their way around the room. His gaze went directly to the right corner, almost as if he scented her presence.

She threw back her head and laughed at something a man said. Her long black dress shimmered under the light. Her dark curls were pinned up high on her head and tamed, but Max knew one slide of the pin would make that silky mess tumble over her shoulders in wild abandon. Her eyes glowed with an inner joy and confidence he’d never seen before.

Yes. She was happy without him.

Choking back his emotion, he turned away and walked to the first display.

Shock held him immobile.

He expected portraits with heart and soul, an easy warmth she always translated in the few pieces of her work he’d been lucky enough to see. These seemed like they were from a different artist.

Raw and gritty, shadowed in black, gray, and an occasional slice of red, the couples on the canvas were displayed in different erotic poses. A woman arched against the wall as her lover pressed his lips to her naked breasts. The bodies pulsed with an earthy sensuality but teetered right on the border, as the window sketched on the right seemed to be a mirror between privacy and the outside world. The onlooker seemed almost a voyeur to the scene, stretching the mind enough so one needed to keep looking at the painting.

As Max moved from one to another, the couple seemed caught in a web of the relationship. One canvas sketched out the vulnerability and want on the woman’s face as she gazed at her lover. His harsh profile showed nothing but hard lines and a steely resolve. Another detailed the couple with foreheads touching, lips a whisper away, eyes hooded from the viewer so he was forced to imagine what they were thinking.