I heard myself say: "You feel that ... that ..."

"I do," he said earnestly. "I could not happily leave your father here alone ... now... ."

I wanted to shout at him: "You mean you don't want to leave Susannah."

So it was all over. All this time I had been telling myself that she would go away and in time we should forget that she ever came.

Then I thought: Poor Philip. She will never marry you. She is going to marry Esmond ... for the castle.

The Grumbling Giant

So I went alone to Sydney. One of Laura's brothers came to meet the boat and take me out to the property. The luggage would come the next day by wagon.

I had to explain to Alan, the brother, that Philip had decided there was too much to do on the island for him to come away.

Alan grimaced. "Laura will take a grim view of that, I can tell you," he said.

There was a warm welcome for me at the property. Laura was radiant. She was disappointed not to see Philip but after the initial annoyance she quickly recovered her spirits, for she was too happy to be separated from her absolute bliss for long.

I liked her husband-to-be. They were going up to Queensland where he had inherited a property and they planned to leave immediately after the wedding.

I was fitted for my bridesmaid's dress and she commented that my new hair style was very smart. "It changes you, Suewellyn," she told me. "You've lost that innocent look you had. You look like a woman of the world."

"Perhaps I'm becoming one."

She came to my room as she used to when we were schoolgirls and lay on the floor kicking up her heels and resting her chin in her cupped hands while she studied me sitting in the armchair.

"Doesn't this take you back?" she said. "And now ... just think, I'm getting married. I stole a march on you."

"You are a year older."

"Yes, that could account for it. The family is disappointed, Suewellyn."

"You mean about Philip's not coming."

"Yes, and I think they were rather hoping ... you know how families are. They have one wedding in the family and they immediately want another. Father says they are catching. In fact, I believe Alan will be the next. But they are thinking of Philip. They are very fond of you, Suewellyn."

"They have always been so nice to me. It meant a lot when I came here on those short holidays. As I couldn't get to the island in time it would have meant staying at school."

"They loved your coming. They thought you were so good for me. I do think it was mean of Philip. Is there so much to do?"

I hesitated.

"Out with it," she said. "What's wrong? You can't fool me. What has gone wrong between you two?"

"There's nothing... ."

"There is something. Don't you like each other any more?"

"I don't think Philip ever liked me enough to want to marry me."

"He did. He was falling in love with you. We all knew it. My mother used to say it was only a matter of time. They're so disappointed. They wanted an announcement at my wedding."

"No. It wasn't like that at all." She was looking at me steadily and I burst out: "My half sister came to see us on the island. He was, as you might say, swept off his feet by her."

"Oh, is he going to marry her?'

"Oh no. She is going to marry someone else."

"What a mess! And what a fool Philip is!"

"These things happen. You can't arrange other people's lives."

"Do you mind? ..."

"Oh, I don't think it was ever serious between Philip and me. I suppose I wasn't quite grown up. My parents thought it would be ideal because then I should stay on the island and Philip would be working there with my father. It was all too neat really."

"What a pity! It's spoiled things in a way."

"It can't spoil things for you. Everything is perfect. You're going to be blissfully happy, Laura."

"Yes, I am. You'll come and stay with us in Queensland, won't you?"

"I might consider it ... if I were asked."

"You're asked here and now."

"All right then, I'll consider."

Then we talked about the wedding preparations and the honeymoon and I let her think that Philip had not really been very important to me.

So Laura was married and I was a bridesmaid and the day after the wedding she and her husband left for their honeymoon. I remained at the property until the ship was due to sail for the island. They tried to persuade me to stay right until the last day but I wanted to do some shopping in Sydney, so I said. The truth was that I wanted to get away. There was too much there to remind me of those happy holidays with Philip and Laura. It occurred to me that I would never visit the property again. I did not want to look very far into the future. I wondered what it would be like on the island when Susannah was gone. Philip might remain unless he made some excuse to follow her to England, which he might well do. I did not want to think of it.

It was quite an adventure staying at the hotel alone, although the proprietors knew me, for once or twice I had stayed there with the Halmers when they came to see me off on the ship. There were quite a number of people staying in the hotel. They were mostly graziers from the outback, who sat about in the big lounge talking wool prices and doing business with each other. I stayed in my rooms and had my meals there. I should only be in Sydney for two days. It seemed a long time, though, and I realized it was the first time in my life that I had really been alone.

I longed to be back on the island, yet I wondered what I should find there. It would not be the paradise it had been on other return journeys in the past. Philip would have learned that Susannah did not regard him with any seriousness. Poor Philip!

How different it would have been if Susannah had never come to Vulcan Island!

It was the morning before the day the ship would leave and I decided to do some last-minute shopping. I came out of one of the shops in Elizabeth Street where I had been to buy some clothes for Anabel and as I emerged into the sunshine a voice said: "Good morning, Miss Mateland."

I turned and saw a young man whom I had never seen before. He took off his hat and bowed. "You don't remember me," he said. "I'm Michael Roston of Roston, Evans. My father, who used to look after your affairs, died three weeks ago and I've taken over from him."

I realized then that he thought I was Susannah. I hesitated.

I heard myself say: "I'm sorry."

"It was sudden," he went on. "A stroke. By the way, something has come in for you. I was going to put it on the ship and send it out to Vulcan Island. I presumed you were there still."

"I was waiting for the ship," I said.

"So you are going back again. Would you like to call in for the mail? You know where we are in Hunter Street. It's a bit of a climb up to the fourth floor. But the firm has been at 33 Hunter for so long. My father would never think of moving."

My heart was beating fast. The name registered very clearly in my mind, so the idea must have been there before I was aware of it. Mr. Michael Roston of Roston, Evans, number 33 Hunter Street on the fourth floor. It would be amusing to collect Susannah's mail and take it out to her.

"Look," I would say. "There must be a strong resemblance. I was accosted by a young man who thought I was you, and I decided to let him believe it and I've brought back your mail."

I said: "I'll collect the mail."

"Very well," he said.

"Perhaps I'll call sometime this afternoon."

"Yes, do. If I'm not there someone else will give it to you. I'll tell them you're coming."

"I'll do that and ... I'm very sorry about your father."

"We miss him. He had his fingers in everything. It's not always easy picking up the threads. But we shall keep our old connections of course and particularly with your people in England. We have worked with Carruthers, Gentle for over fifty years."

I thanked him and went back to the hotel. I did not notice now the graziers all intent on making negotiations about their wool.

I went straight to my room. I was considerably stimulated by the encounter.

I pulled off my hat. Yes, I did look like her. I felt like her. Important. Receiving letters from England through an Australian agent.

My little masquerade had enlivened my spirits.

That afternoon I collected the letters. I saw the young man again. This time I was more prepared for my role. I reminded myself that he had seen Susannah only once and then in passing. His father would have known at once that I was an impostor.

He chatted a little while. "And how are you liking Vulcan Island, Miss Mateland?"

"I find it interesting."

"I suppose you will be returning to England before the year is out."

"Perhaps."

"You must miss a great deal. My father was telling me about that wonderful castle which is your home."

"It's a beautiful place."

He asked a few questions about the island.

"I hear it has changed and, since the hospital has been built and the industry there is flourishing, it's becoming quite a civilized community."

"That is so," I replied.

"The Englishman who went there some years ago is to be congratulated, I hear. It's not the most promising spot. I believe it was all but destroyed by volcanic eruption once."

"That was three hundred years ago."

"Extinct now, I suppose."

I said that I must go as I had so much to prepare for the next day. I was afraid he was going to ask questions which it might be difficult for me to answer.

I took the mail to my room and stowed it away in a little hand case which I should carry with me.

I wondered what Susannah would say when I told her I had been mistaken for her in the streets of Sydney.

It was very hot on the day we sailed. I stood on the deck looking out on the magnificent harbor. I remained there as we went through the Heads and for long after the land had receded and we came out into the open sea.

Then I went to my cabin.

I longed to see my parents but in a way I dreaded getting back to the island. Susannah would be ready to leave. Poor Philip, would he want to go with her?

Oh, Susannah, I thought, why did you ever come to the island to disrupt our lives!

We had been at sea for several days, and the next afternoon we should sight the land. I was awakened in the night by a rocking of the ship. It was unusual on those seas.

When I went down to breakfast I was aware that something was wrong. People were talking together with that mixture of excitement and apprehension which indicated that something extraordinary was afoot.

I asked what was wrong.

"We can't find out. The ship started to rock. We've stopped because the more we go on the worse it becomes."

During the morning we noticed the strange smell in the air; it was acrid, sulphuric, and there was a cloud of smoke hanging in the sky.

Rumors spread through the ship.

I paused to talk to a woman who was leaning on the rail looking out to sea.

"They say it's volcanic action somewhere," she said. "One of the islands... ."

A terrible fear gripped me.

"Which one?" I cried. "Which one?"

She shook her head. "I don't know. They are all volcanic in this area."

I felt sick. I had visions of Cougabel's great limpid eyes heavy with prophecies. "Grumbling Giant not pleased... ."

A fatalistic certainty came to me. I knew that the Giant had ceased to grumble and give vent to his anger.

The captain was undecided what to do.

He had goods to deliver to the island and he was not absolutely sure which one was affected, and as the rocking of the ship had stopped he decided to venture farther.

I was on the deck. I was looking at the ruins of my home. I could see the mountain peak, flames shooting from it and smoke circling round it.

I went to the captain. "This is my home," I said. "I must go and see for myself."

"I can't let you go," he told me. "It's dangerous."

'It's my home," I repeated stubbornly.

"I am sending two boats ashore to see if there are any people in need of help."

"I'm going with them," I said.

"I'm afraid I can't allow it."

I kept saying: "It's my home, you know." He did know because he had captained the ship several times when I had gone back and forth from school.