Then I forgot about him. I was so absorbed by the problem of Granny Bell and her cottage and Leah Cringle and her trouble.

I had fears of Leah's taking some violent action. I did not see how she could face a family like hers; she did not seem to be equipped to rebel against them. I had visions of her drowning herself in the stream which ran through the castle grounds, looking like Ophelia with flowers in her hair. Or finding some other means of ending her life. I had tried to talk to her several times but could make no headway. She always insisted that nothing was wrong.

Then two mornings later when I went to the cottage it was to find that Granny Bell was dead.

No one talked of anything then but Granny Bell. The district nurse came to lay her out and Jacks the gravedigger dug her grave. I went to the funeral and Malcolm came with me. I realized that there again I had surprised them all. Susannah had never been to funerals on the estate, though Esmond had now and then. He had often promised to go and when he did not attend would go along afterwards to tell the bereaved family what had prevented him. It might not have been the truth but it mollified them to a certain extent because it showed that he knew what was due the dead.

So I created quite a stir by going and I was glad, for my presence and that of Malcolm seemed to add to the ceremony simply because those who attended thought it did.

I felt tears in my eyes as I listened to the clods of earth falling on the coffin and thought of poor old Granny. At least she was at peace at last.

Malcolm took my arm as we walked away.

"You're really affected," he said.

"Who wouldn't be?" I replied. "Death is awe-inspiring."

"I know some who wouldn't, and who would find the death of anyone with whom they were not personally involved quite boring. That is just how you would have been once, Susannah."

He gripped my arm tightly and turned me round so that I was facing him. Moments like that were really frightening. I felt he must be on the point of telling me I was a cheat and a fraud.

"I often wonder ..." he began.

"What?" I asked faintly.

"Susannah, what has happened to change you? You've become so ... human."

"I always belonged to the species, you know."

"Flippancy solves nothing."

"Well, let me tell you I am just the same as I ever was."

"Then you put on a very good show of being something else."

"Oh, I was young and careless, I dare say."

"It was not a matter of youth and carelessness. You were ... a monster."

I pretended to ignore that. I went on: "Poor Granny! She was a good woman. She did her duty here all those years and was so grateful for living in that dark little cottage and being able to make ends meet."

He was silent and appeared to be deep in thought, which was disquieting.

As we went back to the castle neither of us spoke very much.

The next morning there was a caller at the castle to see me. It was a young man called Jack Chivers. He was employed by several of the farms, working when he was needed.

I saw him in the small parlor which led from the hall. He stood before me, nervously twirling his cap round.

"I had to speak to you quick, Miss Susannah," he said. "I want to know whether I have a chance of Mrs. Bell's cottage."

"Oh, but ..." I began. "Well, it is all but decided."

His face fell. "Then I'm sorry to have troubled you, miss," he said, and turned away.

There was something so despairing about the droop of his shoulders that I detained him. I noticed that he was about eighteen years old and good-looking.

I said: "Just a moment. Don't go yet. Why are you so anxious to have the cottage?"

"I want to get married, miss."

"Well," I told him, "you can wait awhile, can't you? There'll be other cottages in due course."

"We can't wait," he muttered. "Thank you, miss. I just thought there might be a chance."

"You can't wait," I said. And then: "Tell me who you are going to marry."

"Leah Cringle, miss."

"Oh," I said; and then: "Sit down a moment."

He sat down and I looked at him steadily. "Leah is going to have a baby, is that it?" I asked.

He flushed to the roots of his hair. Then he grinned, but it was not a grin of pleasure. Embarrassment and panic would describe it better.

"Yes, miss, that's about it. If we had a place to go to we could get married."

"Can't you get married without the cottage?"

"There'd be nowhere for her ... Leah would have to stay at Cringles' farm. Life wouldn't be worth living for her. The only way is for us to get married on the sly ... and then go into a cottage together."

"I see," I said. "Yes, I do understand. The roof has to be thatched, you know. You would want the place done up a bit."

He was staring at me incredulously.

I went on: "I can see how difficult it would be for Leah at Cringles' farm. I suppose I ought to say you should have thought of this before... ."

"I know, miss. You always ought to ... but somehow you don't. She's awful pretty and one day she was crying. Something had happened. Something's always happening at Cringles'... . It's all prayers and doing so much good and making everybody miserable. And then ... afore I knew what was happening ... and once it had begun it went on. I love Leah, miss, and she loves me and there's nothing we want more than our little baby... ."

I felt a great lump in my throat. I don't care what Jeff says, I thought. I don't care what Malcolm says. I'm the Queen of the Castle.

"All right," I said. "You shall have the cottage. There's no sense in delay. Get married and move in. You can clean it up, can't you? Better say nothing until you and Leah are married. The Cringles are odd people."

"Oh, miss, do you mean it?"

"I mean it. The cottage is yours. Go and tell Leah and don't forget it's a secret ... as yet."

"Oh, miss," he said, "I dunno what to say."

"In that case, say nothing. I know how you feel, so you have no need to tell me."

I rode straight over to Jeffs house. Malcolm was there. Malcolm was often there. One would have thought the castle was his by the way he concerned himself in its affairs.

I blurted out right away: "I've settled the business of the Bell cottage. Jack Chivers is having it."

"Jack Chivers!" cried Jeff. "He's only a boy. The Baddocks come before him."

"The Baddocks will have to wait. Jack Chivers is having it."

"Why?" demanded Malcolm.

I turned to him. "The castle estate is mine," I said. "I am the one who makes the decisions. I have already told Jack Chivers that he can have the cottage."

"But it seems unreasonable," said Jeff soothingly.

"In fact there is a very good reason why he should have it. Leah Cringle is going to have his baby. They want to get married right away. They need the cottage."

Both of the men were staring at me.

"Imagine Leah Cringle's living with those dreadful parents of hers," I went on passionately. "To say nothing of the old grandfather. Of course, she can't. I have a strange feeling that if something isn't done she will do away with herself. It's up to me to look after these people. Leah and Jack Chivers are going to have the cottage and there is an end of the matter."

I could see that both men thought it was foolish to allow a woman to make decisions. She responded to the urge of the heart and they, being shrewd businessmen, knew that the head should always rule.

I laughed inwardly. It was for them to remember that I was the one who commanded.

The next day I went over to the cottage and as I stood in the bedroom I heard the door open cautiously. I went down the stairs. Jack Chivers was standing there with Leah. They were looking round with rapturous wonder. The transformation in Leah was miraculous. I had never seen anyone express greater happiness.

And I had done this.

I experienced one of those supremely happy moments which come rarely and are usually brief when they do.

"Come to inspect your new home?" I asked.

Leah ran to me. Then she did a strange thing. She knelt and, taking my skirt by the hem, she lifted it to her lips and kissed it.

"Leah," I said, fighting back my emotion, "get up at once. Tell me, are you going to change the wallpaper?"

During the next few weeks I was really happy, which meant that I could go for several hours at a stretch without remembering the sight of that devastated island and the terrible sense of loss for my loved ones; and at the same time I did not brood on the enormity of this masquerade which I had undertaken and ask myself how I could ever have been drawn into it.

The reason was that I was beginning to be more and more involved in the affairs of the castle estate. I relished the involvement. I felt I had been born to do just that. If only I had been in truth Susannah, how contented I could have been!

I was delighted to see the change in Leah; she was a beautiful girl and happiness accentuated her beauty. She and Jack Chivers were in a state of bliss. They spent every spare moment in the cottage getting it ready; the roof had been thatched and the place was beginning to look very different from the way it had during Mrs. Bell's occupation. I found some curtains in the castle which could be cut down and fitted to the windows. Leah's gratitude shone out of her eyes.

Of course there was some opposition and particularly from the Baddocks. It seemed, was the comment, that some people were rewarded for their sins and the righteous sent empty away.

Jeff Carleton agreed with that. I don't think Malcolm did. However, it was my will and, whatever anyone thought about it, they could do nothing.

I managed to placate the Baddocks by promising them the next cottage which fell vacant and they were, to a certain extent, mollified.

I was discovering a new talent in myself. I had always been interested in people. I understood them because I could put myself in their place; and this stood me in good stead. I was beginning to win confidences and this was quite an achievement, for Susannah had been very unpredictable—showing friendship one day and seeming to be unaware of people's existence the next. But I was winning through. I knew this by the way they discussed their problems with me and that I was beginning to erase the impression Susannah had made on them and replace it with my own.

Not only did it please me to be able to help, but always at the back of my mind was the thought: Is it so bad if I can do good to them? If I can make them happier than they would have been under Susannah, can it be so wicked? It did not alter the fact that it was fraud, but I could do some good through it. Susannah was not here to enjoy this so I was not taking anything away from her. But this should be Malcolm's.

Malcolm! He was constantly in my thoughts. Ever since the day when I had said that Jack Chivers should have the cottage Malcolm and I had spent a good deal of time in each other's company.

Jack Chivers and Leah Cringle were married. I went to the wedding and to my surprise Malcolm came.

The church was almost empty. None of the Cringle family was there. They were still showing their disapproval because of the circumstances.

"Let them stay away," I whispered to Malcolm. "It's a happier occasion without them."

"As usual you are right," he answered.

I was so delighted to see Leah come down the aisle on Jack's arm, her fawnlike eyes radiant with happiness. She saw me there and tears welled into her eyes. I thought she was going to stop in her progress and come and kiss the hem of my skirt.

Outside the church we congratulated them.

"Oh, Miss Susannah," said Leah, "'twouldn't have happened but for you. I can't never do enough for you."

"Well, here you are, Leah. Mrs. Chivers now. You're going to live happy ever after."

"That's a command," put in Malcolm. "A command from Miss Susannah, and you know they always have to be obeyed."

Leah hardly looked at him. She was so shy. But her great doelike eyes were fixed on me.

When she and Jack went off arm in arm to the cottage, I stood for a few moments looking after them. Malcolm, I suddenly realized, was watching me.

"Susannah," he said softly.

I was afraid to look at him, for I guessed I should betray the emotion I was feeling.