They returned, their faces a twist of pity. ‘ Over there, by the jukebox, behind that pillar,’ Brie said. ‘ She’ s hotter.’
Chanel nodded. ‘ The boobs are fake, but she’ s got kind of a Lindsay Lohan thing going. You know, real fresh but slutty.’
I craned my neck. Crap! She was hot! ‘ I can’ t compete with that! Now what am I supposed to do?’ I whined. ‘ Keep returning again and again hoping to hit a slow night? There’ s always going to be somebody more beautiful!’
‘ You don’ t need to worry about it,’ Brie said ominously. ‘ We’ ll get rid of her.’
‘ What are you planning to do?’ I asked, mildly alarmed.
She reached into her purse, and I feared what she might whip out. She merely freshened her lipstick. ‘ We got a few ideas. I figure we’ ll stand there and talk about a designer shoe sample sale in the parking lot. That ought to get her moving. If that doesn’ t work, maybe we’ ll say we saw a rat in the kitchen.’
After they took off for their second mission, I was left to sip my drink alone. I was in the midst of checking out the bartenders, wondering which one Marissa had a crush on, when up walked Troy Jones, a beer in his hand and a grin on his face. ‘ You were right, you do clean up nicely,’ he said.
‘ Ha, ha.’
‘ I hope you don’ t mind my stopping by. I was in the neighborhood, mooching dinner off the folks.’
‘ Aren’ t you fortunate. I have to drive to the Valley to get a decent home-cooked meal.’
‘ You here by yourself?’
‘ No, my girlfriends are off& ‘ Er, eliminating hot chicks? ‘ Saying hi to people they know.’ I glanced over to where Brie and Chanel stood. They were having what appeared to be a loud conversation with much gesturing behind the Lindsay Lohan look-alike’ s table and being completely ignored.
After I invited Troy to pull up a chair, he gave a nod toward the bar. ‘ That’ s the guy my sister had the crush on-in the pink polo shirt. She thought he looked like the lead singer from Nine Inch Nails.’
It was hard to decide what seemed stranger: that the sweet girl I pictured Marissa Jones to be would have had a thing for Nine Inch Nails or that she thought anyone in a pink polo shirt could resemble Trent Reznor.
‘ I see that,’ I said.
‘ Thought I’ d point it out-in case you needed to know.’
It took a second for it to sink in this time. ‘ Fishing again?’
He took a swig of his beer instead of answering.
‘ It’ s not about the bartender,’ I said.
‘ I didn’ t think it was. So you don’ t need to chat him up or anything?’
‘ Nope.’
I knew he was here hoping to see the list, and he had every right to-in fact, I had no claim to it in the first place. Still, I was worried he’ d be disappointed. There weren’ t many crossed off yet, not as many as should have been. To stall, I asked, ‘ So how did you get into traffic reporting?’
‘ Ah, cleverly changing the subject. I’ ll tell you, but I’ m saving the steamy stuff for my best-selling memoir.’ He leaned back and gave me an exaggerated dreamy stare. ‘ It started at the age of three when I got my first tricycle& .’
‘ Is this where everything goes murky and we have the flashback?’
‘ You prefer the short version? Basically, I’ m a motorhead through and through. Got my driver’ s license at sixteen. My motorcycle license the same year. Took me till seventeen to get the pilot’ s license-and they don’ t let you fly commercial until twenty.’
‘ So that’ s what you’ ve always done? Piloted?’
‘ Actually, I started out racing motorcycles out of high school. Picked up a few sponsors, too. Thought I might go pro. But then I took a spill& ‘ He paused to knock on his leg as if it were wooden. ‘ Split my leg open. Messed up my knee. That was the end of my racing career.’
I grimaced and said, ‘ That must have been terrifying.’
‘ You know what’ s weird? My family figured I’ d be the one to die young. At the rate I was going, none of us thought I’ d live to see thirty.’ With that reminder of why we were sitting across from each other, I shifted uncomfortably, and mercifully moving on to other topics, he said, ‘ So, what does your boyfriend think of all this?’ I tried to remember when I had mentioned Robert when Troy added, ‘ I assume that was your boyfriend who came with you to the funeral.’
‘ Oh yeah, we broke up a while back.’
‘ Sorry.’
I gave a brief flick of my hand, as if to say, No big deal, c’ est la vie, because nobody wants to admit they’ ve been dumped and, even worse, that it hurt.
‘ Hey, what’ s that you’ re drinking?’ Troy asked. ‘ Let me get you another& .’
‘ Oh, no thanks.’ I caught a glimpse of Brie and Chanel. They sat at the table with the hotter girl and her friends-whooping over the Lakers game and high-fiving one another.
‘ Come on,’ he urged. ‘ That one’ s almost empty.’
‘ Really, I’ m fine. I’ m driving.’
‘ Too bad.’ He gave me what my mom used to call a devil’ s grin, the corners of his mouth sneaking up. ‘ I was hoping if I got you good and drunk, you might show me that list.’
What could I do? It was stolen property as it was. ‘ Fine,’ I said begrudgingly. ‘ I’ ll show it to you-but first, I want to make sure you understand that a lot of the things aren’ t crossed off yet because they’ re in progress.’
‘ All right.’
‘ I’ m working on them.’
‘ Duly noted.’
‘ And it’ s not fair to cross them off until I’ ve finished them.’
He nodded.
‘ Done them proper justice.’
‘ June& ‘
‘ Yeah?’
He held out a hand. ‘ The list& ?’
I dug it out of where I kept it in my wallet and handed it to him.
He unfolded it and started to read.
20 Things to Do by My 25th Birthday
1. Lose 100 pounds
2. Kiss a stranger
3. Change someone’ s life
4. Wear sexy shoes
5. Run a 5K
6. Dare to go braless
7. Make Buddy Fitch pay
8. Be the hottest girl at Oasis
9. Get on TV
10. Ride in a helicopter
11. Pitch an idea at work
12. Try boogie boarding
13. Eat ice cream in public
14. Go on a blind date
15. Take Mom and Grandma to see Wayne Newton
16. Get a massage
17. Throw away my bathroom scale
18. Watch a sunrise
19. Show my brother how grateful I am for him
20. Make a big donation to charity
His expression was serious as his eyes darted over the items. At one point, he blew out a breath and rubbed his forehead. I wasn’ t sure if I should say anything, so I tossed out a simple, ‘ You okay?’
‘ Number nineteen’ s a tough one.’ I knew the list well by now: #19 was Show my brother how grateful I am for him. ‘ It’ s just that& ,’ he began, and then he stopped. After a moment he said, ‘ Can you excuse me?’
‘ Of course.’
He left the list on the table and made his way to the men’ s room.
Brie scurried over the moment I was alone. ‘ We haven’ t been able to get her to leave, but we might be okay anyhow. She’ s got a bad tooth in the back.’
‘ Lucky me.’
‘ You’ re lucky all right-I see you got men making the moves on you. That one’ s a cutie.’
‘ You met him yesterday. He’ s Troy Jones-Marissa’ s brother.’
‘ Damn, that’ s right. I thought he looked familiar.’
‘ I showed him the list,’ I said, glancing toward the men’ s room door. ‘ He seemed upset.’
‘ Well, sure. It’ s hard to accept your sister wanting to go braless.’
I winced-I hadn’ t thought about how personal a few of the items were.
I made Brie leave before Troy returned, apologizing as he sat back down. ‘ Wasn’ t expecting it to hit me like that.’
‘ I take it you two were tight?’
‘ She was my baby sister-I was already five years old by the time she was born. I looked out for her, you know?’
A brother looking out for his sister? No, I wouldn’ t know. I tended to think of myself as an only child-one who happened to have a sibling.
‘ At any rate,’ he said, ‘ she expressed her gratitude to me fine in her lifetime. You can cross that one off the list.’
Oh, how tempting that was! Reluctantly I said, ‘ Not really.’ I went on to explain to him the rules Susan and I had set up for the list: that I didn’ t have to do the tasks in order, that I had to obey the spirit of the law, and that I had to try as best I could to make them my own. ‘ It’ d be too hard for me to predict what Marissa might have had in mind for that one, so it seemed more sincere to go after it from my own point of view.’ Which meant, I added, that I needed to let my brother know how grateful I was for him before I could mark it as complete. I didn’ t mention, however, that it was going to be interesting expressing how I felt about such Hallmark moments as the time he held me at butter-knife point in the kitchen to make me cry.
‘ Although there is that one here, number fifteen: Take Mom and Grandma to see Wayne Newton. That needs to be your mom and grandma,’ I said worriedly. I couldn’ t imagine they’ d want to go with me to see Wayne Newton-which obviously meant a trip to Les Vegas. I had no idea how I was going to pull that off.
‘ They’ d love it,’ he said as if reading my mind. ‘ They call themselves Wayniacs.’
I gave a mock sigh. ‘ Every family has its shameful secrets.’
He asked to see the list again, and this time when he read it, he seemed to be in lighter spirits. ‘ There are a few things on here a guy doesn’ t want to think of his sister doing.’
‘ I’ ll bet.’
‘ But I don’ t mind picturing you doing them.’
He gazed up at me, and instinctively I crossed my arms.
‘ So who’ d you kiss?’ he asked.
‘ Some busboy.’
‘ Bet that made his day.’
And at that point-damn it-there was no denying it anymore. Something inside me lit up. The groundhog had been awakened in her tunnel and was about to pop her head up to see if the long winter was over. I searched for a mental baseball bat to pound her down. With all the men in the world, couldn’ t I possibly aim my affections toward a man whose sister I hadn’ t killed? If we became a couple-and my God, how had my thoughts even progressed so far so fast?-we’ d for the rest of our lives have to lie anytime someone asked us, ‘ So& how did you two meet?’
‘ I’ ll help you with the one about riding in a helicopter,’ Troy said, and then drained the last of his beer. ‘ Marissa wrote that because I was always bugging her to do a ride-along.’
‘ Ride-along?’
‘ Coming with me while I do a traffic report.’
‘ I’ d love that!’ Stop it! I scolded myself. Stop with the eyelash fluttering!
Brie and Chanel walked up then, shaking their heads. ‘ They were robbed. There was no way that was a foul.’
After I made introductions, Troy stood to leave. ‘ I’ d better get going-I’ ve bothered you long enough.’ He slid the list toward me. ‘ And for the record, you have that one covered.’ He pointed to #8: the unbelievably embarrassing reason we were gathered here today.
I shook my head. ‘ Except for Miss Cutie Pie over there.’
Brie agreed sadly, ‘ It’ s true, she’ s hotter,’ and tipped her chin toward the competition. Troy’ s eyes followed our gaze.
He grabbed a pencil from the table display advertising the nachos special. Leaning over the list, he drew a neat line through Be the hottest girl at Oasis. Then he returned it me. ‘ Not even close.’
Chapter 10
T he gas giveaway project was stalling since we couldn’ t find a single gas station that would work with us. Seems there’ s this little thing called ‘ liability’ they were worried about. One gas station manager wanted me to take out a million-dollar insurance policy in case anyone had a heart attack from excitement when we offered to pay for their gas. Even when I tried to explain that the total value of each prize would be fifty dollars tops-and that would only be for those big gas-hog SUVs-he turned me down. ‘ You never know,’ he said. ‘ My sister-in-law had a spider drop in front of her when she was vacuuming, and it gave her such a bad fright that, boom, that was all she wrote.’
I’ d been calling gas stations for weeks with zero luck. The date was set for April 16, two weeks away. I was the bride who’ d booked the band and ordered the cake but couldn’ t find a groom that would have her.
At Lizbeth’ s weekly department meeting, Martucci offered up a lead, a guy he knew by the name of Armando who managed an Umpco station in Burbank. The location had me drooling since it was close to where so many of the major news studios were located.
‘ What’ s in it for me?’ Armando said when I called him to ask if we could have the gas giveaway at his station. He continued working the register as we talked. I could hear the chinging of the drawer opening and closing.
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