Magan Vernon - The Only One

The doctor smiled and patted my knee. “I’ll be right back. I’m just going to call the surgical department and get you set up. Do you have a preference of when?”

“Well, Fall break is the week after next, so I’ll have off.”

“Okay. I’ll see if we can get you in for the week of Thanksgiving.”

She stood and walked out of the door, shutting it behind her.

“Whoa. Surgery. Lasers,” Monica said. “Are you okay with all of this?”

I shrugged, glancing back at her. “It’s better than needing you to wheel me around campus while I wear a head scarf.”

It was only a few minutes later when Dr. Rodriguez came back in, holding a few sheets of paper. “We have you all set up for Monday the 20th at eight am.” She handed me the papers. “Your directions on what you’ll need to do beforehand are on this sheet. I’ll need you to go into the emergency room entrance an hour before to check in.” She waited to speak again until I met her eyes. “Do you have any other questions?”

I had a million questions. Like what would happen afterward? Was there a chance I would still need more treatment? But instead all I did was shake my head. It was too much to process and my head was swimming. “Nope. I’m good.”

* * *

I walked with Monica back out into the waiting room and texted my mom to call me after work and gave her a quick gist of an outpatient surgery on the 20th. She texted back that she would call as soon as she could. I knew she couldn’t talk while at work, but I didn’t want to make her wait.

And once we stepped out of the office there was someone else waiting for me in the tunnel to the parking garage. John stood there. His hands were in his pockets as he paced back and forth between the walls.

“John Boy?” Monica asked.

“Monica. Melanie. Hey. I was just...” He stopped pacing and walked over to us, letting out a big sigh. “Okay. I can’t come up with a better excuse. I came because I wanted to see how the appointment went and if everything was okay.”

Monica side stepped me and inched her way behind John. “I think that’s my cue to leave. I’ll be waiting for you in the car, Mel.” With that she turned on her heels and walked toward the parking garage.

John cupped my face, forcing my eyes back in his direction. “Is everything okay?”

“I thought you had some fraternity stuff to do today?” I raised an eyebrow, trying to ignore how warm his hand was on my cheek.

He took another step closer. “I do, but this was more important.”

I swallowed hard. “Um, well it’s only stage 1A1 cancer, so I guess that’s a good thing and I’m having surgery the Monday of Thanksgiving break to have it removed.”

His eyes widened. “Is that like a chemotherapy type thing? What kind of surgery?”

“No. It’s just some sort of laser that removes the cancer. The doctor said I should be fine in a few weeks.”

“What time on Monday?”

“Eight, why?”

The lopsided grin that I loved so much made an appearance on his lips. “Because I need to know what time to be there.”

“John, you don’t have to—”

He put his fingers to my lips, stopping me mid sentence. “I know I don’t have to do anything. This is something that I want to do, Red. And you can’t stop me. You can think whatever you want to think about me. About us. But know this. I do care about you. More than I probably would usually admit. And whether we’re just friends or we’ll eventually be something more, doesn’t matter. What does matter is that I’m going to be here for you.”

And at that moment I almost forgot about the girl and the lap dance. I could almost forget about the cancerous cells that were hanging out in my cervix and past cheating boyfriends. Because I knew that I had friends that were there for me. Whether romantically or otherwise, they were there.

Both my mom and sister made plans to come in for the surgery. My heightened sense of joy that John and Monica would be there was deflated as soon as I thought about my mom and sister meeting John. I could just imagine how many questions they would hound him with. Maybe it was a bad idea for him to come. And that was exactly what I planned to tell him that Monday in class. One week from my surgery.

“Hey, Red, good to see you showed up for class.” He smiled, taking the seat next to me.

“I always come to class. It’s you who I haven’t seen around for awhile.”

“So, you’ve been looking for me?” He raised his eyebrows.

“Kind of hard to miss you. You do have the body of a pro wrestler you know.” I smiled, pulling out my notebook.

“Speaking of body. How are you feeling?”

I rolled my eyes. “That was a horrible segue.”

“Hey, I can’t be smooth every time.” He looked at me with his big, puppy dog eyes. Why did I have to have cancer? Why couldn’t I just be a normal girl that could have hooked up with him and didn’t have to stare at him every day, knowing that I couldn’t have him?

“Well, I guess that leads into what I wanted to talk to you about. You don’t have to come to my surgery. It’s Thanksgiving break and your family will probably want you to come home.”

“It’s fine, Red. Thanksgiving isn’t until Thursday. I can spare a few hours for my favorite Harry Potter fan.”

I opened my mouth and then shut it again, trying to think of another excuse for him not to come. “Well...uh...you know it’s really not necessary. My mom is going to be there and Monica said she would come and it will just be a lot of people sitting in a small waiting room. I probably won’t even see you or will be too doped up afterward to remember that you were there.”

He raised an eyebrow. “Are you embarrassed of me? Do you really not want me to come that bad?”

I shook my head ferociously, my curls bobbing around. “Oh, no, it’s totally not you at all.”

“Then what is it?”

Our professor walked to the front of the room, booting up the computer to start the power point presentation. We only had a few more minutes before he started the lecture.

“It’s nothing. I just don’t want to put you out,” I whispered.

He leaned in closer. I could smell his freshly laundered shirt and the cologne that smelled like heaven. “You aren’t making me do anything that I don’t want to do. I want to make sure you’re okay and to be there for you. If you tell me you don’t want me there, then I won’t go.”

I did want him there. I wanted him everywhere with me. I wanted to sit with him every day and eat cheesecake and watch Harry Potter. I didn’t care that he was with another girl or that he wasn’t ready for a relationship. I wanted to forget about the past and just think about a future with him. If only cancer wasn’t in the way.

“I just...” I sighed. “I don’t know.”

He put his hand on my knee. “I’ll do whatever you want, Red. I’ll stay in town this weekend and we can hang out. If you want me to leave on Sunday before your surgery, I can do that. But either way, we’re hanging out this weekend. You don’t have a choice on that one.”

I couldn’t say no. Especially when his hand was on me. Cancer sure didn’t stop my sex drive. “Fine.”

“Awesome.” He squeezed my knee and then left his hand there for the rest of class.

* * *

Despite the fact that I had a disease growing inside me, that didn’t excuse me from going to classes or work. It was midterms, which meant everyone was getting extra caffeinated and the coffee shop was always slammed. I kept calling and requesting people to take extra shifts, but Monica was the only one who ever answered. At least it meant I got to hang out with her instead of someone like Betsy.

“One non-fat caramel mocha with an extra shot of espresso,” Monica yelled while writing the order on the cup. I didn’t know if she did this for my benefit or for hers, to keep all of the orders straight. She manned the register while I pumped out the drinks. After doing the job for two years I was pretty quick at it. That was one of the reasons I was promoted to student manager. The other was that no one else wanted the job.

“Skinny caramel mocha, dirty. Got it,” I yelled back.

And speaking of dirty, the owner of the drink happened to be the girl that I saw giving John a lap dance. I didn’t get too good of a look at her face, but I’d recognize her self-satisfying smirk anywhere. Her long brown hair was pulled into a tight ponytail that made her skin look like it was being stretched out and that smirk even wider. She wore a bright pink shirt with the letters KB stitched on it in black. Kappa Beta. The same sorority that Monica was in before she transferred. I’d have to ask if she knew the lap dance skank.

“Make sure you use non-fat milk.”

I looked up to see that lap dance skank had her big brown eyes focused on me as she leaned over the counter.

I smiled, which was the hardest thing ever to make my face to. “I will.” What I really wanted to do was switch the skim milk with half and half and then pee in it, but I couldn’t exactly do that with her standing and watching my every move. Instead I went about my usual business of pouring the milk in the steam pot, but just as I was about ready to heat it, lap dance skank gasped.

I almost dropped the steam pot before looking up at her. “What?”

She blinked her large brown eyes and her mouth went into an O shape before she spoke. “Nothing. You just looked familiar is all.” She pulled out her cell phone and typed furiously on the touch screen.

Even though there was a line of people waiting for their drinks and Monica still kept yelling the orders, I couldn’t just let this girl get away with what she was trying to do. I saw the recognition on her face. She knew exactly who I was and what she was doing.

“Texting all of your friends, huh? Telling them that you saw the girl who caught you trying to get in John Boy’s pants?”

At first she didn’t say anything and just kept typing. Then it was like a light bulb went off and she looked up, narrowing her eyes. “What did you just say to me?”

“Nothing too important.” I put the steam pot underneath the steamer and started it up. “Just that I recognized you as the girl who was giving John Boy a lap dance at Alpha Mu, but he ran out of the room as soon as he was caught with you. He must have been pretty embarrassed,” I yelled over the hissing of the machine.

“Excuse me?” Her eyes looked like they were about to bug out of her head, which would have been pretty hard considering how tight her skin was pulled from her ponytail.

The milk steamed to 140 degrees. I pulled it out of the steamer, turning it off, only briefly taking my eyes off of the girl. I wasn’t about to back down. “I said that I saw you all over John at the party last weekend and he ran out of the room as soon as he got caught with you. So it seems as if he was pretty embarrassed.” I wasn’t a slut shamer. I wasn’t one of those girls that just started spewing hate at random girls I didn’t know, but there was something about her that really got to me.

She blinked hard and then a small smile returned to her face. “Oh, wait, now I remember you. You’re the freaky little cancer girl that won’t leave John Boy alone.” She leaned in, but kept her voice up.

I couldn’t even answer. My mouth just gaped open. How the hell did she know about my cancer? John must have told her...but why? Is that what he thought of me?

Monica came to my side and looked the girl right in the eye. “Missy, I think you’d better leave. I didn’t think you could sink any lower, but trying to make fun of someone for having cancer is just beyond low.”

“I’ll leave right after I get my drink,” Missy said with a smirk.

“Monica leaned over the machine, lowering her voice. “If you don’t leave here in two seconds I will pour this drink on your bitch face, understood?”

“Ugh!” Missy recoiled back. “Whatever. Your shit is nasty anyway. I’ll just drive to Starbucks.” With that she swayed away like she was some sort of princess and we were just her minions.

My breath felt like it was caught in my throat and I had to grip onto the counter.

“Are you all right?” Monica whispered.

I wasn’t going to cry. I wanted to so bad, but I couldn’t. “Yeah. I’m fine. Take the next orders.”

* * *

After work I could have gone home. I probably should have gone straight home, but instead I let my emotions guide me and stomped all the way to the Alpha Mu house. I didn’t even know if John was home or what I would have done if he wasn’t.