I pounded on the front door. There was a giant brass knocker that had a lion head on it, but I wasn’t sure if that actually worked and I couldn’t find a doorbell. I may have been little, but I put everything I had into pounding on that door, hoping someone would answer.

Finally, after what seemed like forever, a tall, lanky guy who looked like he was half asleep answered. “Hey? Um there’s no party going on right now...”

I pushed past him. “I’m not here for a party. I’m here to see John Walden. Is he here?” I looked around the common room. Everything was surprisingly empty, not like how I was used to seeing it.

“Yeah. He’s up in his room.” The guy pointed toward the stairwell.

“Good. I hope he doesn’t have some random girl up there with him,” I grumbled and marched up the stairs. Luckily, no one stopped me. I kind of doubted anyone was actually there, and if they were, they weren’t awake even though it was in the afternoon on a week day.

When I got to John’s door I didn’t even knock. I just threw it open. He was sitting in his desk chair, but this time a girl wasn’t on top of him. He was at his computer and lifted his head up with a big grin when he saw me.

“Hey, Red. Long time no see. Are you here for a nooner?”

I shook my head and stepped into the room, shutting the door behind me before I crossed my arms over my chest. “You seriously have some nerve.”

He let out a deep breath. “What now, Melanie? What did I do now? It always seems like I did something to fuck up, so lay it on me.”

“How the hell can you just be so nonchalant about things all the time? I’m dealing with some serious shit right now and you’re always just ‘whatever’ about everything.”

John stood up, his full height looming over me. My eyes trailed from his broad chest to his face as he took another step toward me. “You need to relax.”

I dropped my hands. “Relax? How am I supposed to relax? It seems like everything that deals with you has some sort of drama and it’s getting old. Did you know that chick that was using you as a pole showed up at work today? And you know what else? She somehow knew I had cancer. Who the hell told her that? I know it wasn’t Monica, so it had to be you.”

He rubbed the back of his neck. “Did Missy really say that?”

“Yes, yes she did. She said the only reason you hang out with me is because you feel sorry for me. Is that what you’re telling people? Because if it is, I don’t need you to feel sorry for me. I can take care of myself. You don’t need to waste your time with the broken girl.”

I could feel the tears wanting to fill my eyes. Everything always seemed like it was falling apart. My body was failing me with cancer and I couldn’t keep a guy that would be faithful to me.

“Hey.” He put his fingers under my chin and closed the space between us. “You only think you’re the broken one, but I’m the only one who needs to be fixed.”

He put his other arm around my waist and pulled me closer. “When I ran after you, Missy followed and was asking why I was so concerned what you thought. If you were my girlfriend. I didn’t know how to answer so I just blurted out that you had cancer. I know you don’t want the world to know, but it just came out and I’m sorry.”

I still didn’t know what he meant about being the one who needed to be fixed. Sure he was sort of a manwhore, but everything else about him was perfect. He was good looking, smart, funny, everything I wanted in a guy. Everything that would eventually lead to this moment with me ready to cry and heartbroken.

“You don’t need to be fixed, John. You’re perfect.”

He shook his head. “I’m glad you think that of me, but you’re the first girl that has actually wanted to get to know me. You didn’t want just a quick jump in my bed.” He sighed, dropping his hands.

“I’ll admit that at first I just wanted to fuck you crazy. Take the girl that seemed stuck up and give her the night of her life.”

“Charming.” I smirked.

“I’m not finished.” He pulled me closer, pressing his warm body against me. “Then I got to know you. The girl that actually cared about the meanings of my tattoos. The girl that puts up a brave face for the world and keeps her feelings in.”

He leaned into me. “It made me realize how fucked up I was. How much I needed to change my ways. When you caught me with Missy, I felt like shit. I knew I couldn’t mess this up. I knew that I’d fucked up big time, but I just can’t lose you. I don’t want to lose you. The last thing that I ever wanted to do is hurt you. I’ve been a dick for far too long and I’m trying to fix that. Starting with patching things up with you. Go out with me and the guys on Friday. I know you don’t want to, but I want to. I need to.”

“Okay. Friday night it is.”

He smiled. “Great.” He then moved closer, his lips just inches from mine and his breath hot on my lips. “And Red? Don’t call yourself broken. There’s nothing about you that needs to be fixed.”

Chapter 14

John texted me that we were going to a bar downtown. He said he had a fake ID for me to use since I was two years shy of legal drinking age. Mostly everyone had left town for Thanksgiving break, so the campus was like a ghost town. Hopefully that would be a good thing for getting me into a bar and not just thrown into jail. My mom was coming in on Saturday and the last thing I wanted was to have to call her to bail me out before then.

I combed through my clothes to see what would be legal aged, bar attire. I didn’t know if I needed to show a bunch of skin or if that would make me look like a slutty freshman. It’s not like I went out that much anyway, so finding anything in my closet was a chore. I also didn’t feel like going shopping. Being short didn’t help my clothing choices at the mall and sometimes I even ended up buying my t-shirts in the little boy’s department so they didn’t drown me. There was no way I was wearing my Batman shirt out to a bar.

Then I found it, in the back of my closet. When me and Robby were dating I bought black lingerie that I planned on surprising him with when I went to visit him at school. That was the same night I caught him cheating. I took down the black, satin baby doll top. It had a plunging neckline that was lined with pink lace and came with matching black lace panties.

Girls wore stuff that was practically lingerie out all the time and it looked like it could pass of as a top if I wore it with jeans. I knew I had a pair of low rise, dark wash jeans that I accidently bought and thought they were my regular style. I hardly ever wore them. But tonight seemed like the night to wear them. I paired the whole outfit with a set of black pumps and blow dried my hair straight.

At about nine, as I just finished applying my mascara, John texted me to let me know he was at my apartment. When I walked outside I expected him to be sitting in his Jeep, but instead he was in the back seat of a sleek looking Mercedes. He jumped out as soon as he saw me and opened the door to the back seat.

“Hey, Red.” He smelled and looked amazing, as usual. He had on a dark gray henley that hugged every one of his bulging muscles. Instead of his usual baseball cap his brown hair was choppy and styled with some sort of wax product that smelled like green tea. At least I thought it was his hair product. With my heels I was a little bit taller, but not tall enough to actually reach his hair. The hair that I wanted to run my fingers through.

“Hi,” I said, quickly, getting into the car and out of the freezing November air. I didn’t wear more than a light sweater over my top and my chest felt like it was going to get frostbite in the tiny, satin cami. The whole car smelled like it was doused in men’s cologne. Gabe, the guy who had door duty when I went to the stoplight party, was driving and in the passenger seat next to him was another random guy from the fraternity. I couldn’t remember his name for the life of me, but he nodded in my direction.

John hopped in the back seat, getting as close to me as he could before he slinked his arm around my waist. “Melanie, the guy in the passenger seat is Brad aka Longfellow and driving is Gabe or Gonads.”

Gabe turned back in my direction. “Hey, Melanie, you sure you want to hang around with this guy?”

“Um, is this a trick question?” I asked, raising an eyebrow.

Gabe smiled. “I’m just saying. If you would rather leave the bar with me tonight, I wouldn’t complain.” His eyes roamed down to my plunging neckline quickly before he turned back to the front and put the car into drive.

I caught the hint of a smile on John’s face. Looked like my outfit was a hit.

Brad pushed an ID in my face. “Here, John Boy said you’d need this.”

“Thanks.” I took the card. The girl sort of looked like me, I guess. She had brown curly hair, my same brownish green eyes, but older. Then I looked at her date of birth.

“Wait, this says the girl in the picture is 32. I’m nowhere close to that. No one is going to believe I’m 32.” My palms were sweating. I got all dressed up just to have some bouncer kick me out into the cold for a bad fake.

John shook his head. “They don’t care if it’s a fake as long as you know the birth date. They aren’t going to look that hard or even do the math. Besides, half the bouncers are Alpha Mus so you shouldn’t have a problem.” He leaned in so close I could feel the heat from his body. “And by how good you look in that top, I’m sure they won’t care about anything but how hot you are.” He kissed my cheek.

“Hey! No fucking in my car!” Gabe yelled.

John smiled, slowly turning his head to the front. “Sorry, Gonads. We’ll save it for later.”

* * *

The streets that would usually be packed with students outside smoking or walking from bar to bar were empty. Gabe parked in a parking garage not far from the row of bars that lined downtown Central. I went to open my door, but John was out and opening it for me before I could. Reluctantly, I climbed out and then John’s arm was wrapped around my waist, moving me forward with him.

I shouldn’t have been thinking about sex with John. But I couldn’t help it. We were still friends. I thought. And friends appreciated each other’s looks, I guess. And I hoped he wasn’t just showing affection to keep Gabe from hitting on me.

“One girl comes with us tonight and you’ve got to lay claim on her?” Gabe asked, walking in step with us. Brad slinked in next to him.

“Yep.” John didn’t say anything more and pulled me closer. I was actually glad for his body heat because I didn’t realize how long we’d be outside and not wearing much for clothes was a bad idea. Goose bumps pricked my skin under the thin fabric of my top.

Luckily, before I could freeze to death, we stood outside of a bar called Gatsby’s. I remembered my sister used to call the place Fratsby’s. She said it was a hangout for all the fraternity and sorority types. I guess that would make sense, since I was walking in with three very attractive fraternity boys.

The bouncer was a large guy with a neck that was thicker than his head. He barely even smiled when he saw us, but bumped fists with each of the guys, not even checking anyone’s ID. Thank God.

Gatsby’s wasn’t as much of a bar as it was a club. The dark room was only lit by strobe lights and some different black lights that blinked off of the dark colored walls. To my left was a long bar with a few half-naked female bartenders behind it. Directly in front of me was a metal railing that looked onto a sunken dance floor. There were bodies melded together dancing to some random dance mix that a DJ played from a booth above.

“Want me to get you a drink and put your jacket behind the bar?” John had to practically yell in my ear.

I nodded, not sure if I could speak loud enough for him to hear me over the music. I shrugged off my sweater, revealing the low, lace back of my cami. I looked over my shoulder and saw that was exactly where John was staring. I winked once he finally caught my eye. Two could play flirty.

John leaned forward, hooking his thumb through my belt loop before he put his lips to my ear. “I see what you’re doing and I like it.” His tongue flicked against my ear lobe before he pulled away and walked over to the bar.

It was like the Red Sea parted. Even though other people were waiting for a drink, they still made room for the hulky John. The Asian bartender stopped what she was doing and gave him a big smile. Jealousy boiled in me, but he didn’t even seem interested. His facial expression didn’t change as he handed her my sweater, nodding in my direction.