Magan Vernon - The Only One

“When’s Mom coming in?” I asked, trying to change the subject.

“I don’t know. I guess she was working this morning or something.”

I finished washing my hair and then turned off the water, pulling my towel from the shower rod. “Isn’t she always working?”

“Well, yeah, you know Dad left her with shit. What else is she supposed to do?”

I dried my hair and body and wrapped the towel around me before I opened the shower curtain. As I suspected, Valerie was staring at herself in the mirror, putting on one of my lip glosses.

“Is this why we have such fucked up relationships with men?”

Valerie blinked at her reflection in the mirror and then put the lip gloss down. She turned toward me, her eyes serious. “Your relationships are what you make of them, Mel. We can’t just blame everything on our parents’ mistakes. Mom and Dad may be fucked up, but that doesn’t mean we have to be.” She leaned on the sink behind her. “I mean, look at you. You have your own apartment, a job, and you’re practically paying for college on your own. You’re the exact opposite of Mom. You don’t need to depend on a guy to save you. When Robby left you didn’t just fall apart. You moved on. Mom cried for weeks when Dad left and she almost lost her job. It took everything she had to finally go back to work.”

I shook my head. “That can’t be true.”

Valerie rolled her eyes. “I don’t know if you just didn’t notice because you were too busy doing your own thing, but Mom was a freaking wreck. She called me every single day while you were at school and I wasn’t in class. I told her that it was your last year of high school and she needed to buck up for you, and eventually she did, but I really thought you would have seen it since you were living with her.”

I didn’t. I was so self-absorbed that I didn’t want to be anywhere that wasn’t with Robby or work. The only good thing that came out of that was that I saved up enough to help with college expenses. But now I just felt like the most insensitive daughter in the world.

“I really didn’t know,” I whispered.

Valerie took a step closer and put her hand on my wet shoulder. “Hey, don’t beat yourself up over it. You weren’t supposed to be the one to save her. It was her cross to bear and she survived.”

Mom was broken and was able to be saved. Hopefully I would be able to do the same. And then it was as if she heard us talking about her, because a knock came at the door.

“I’ll get it.” Valerie turned and walked out of the bathroom, of course still leaving the door wide open while I was standing there in my towel. Luckily it really was my mom at the door and not some maintenance dude.

“Good morning.” Mom was carrying a drink tray with three iced coffees and another small brown bag, while dragging her suitcase behind her. Mom had to go back to work after my surgery so she wanted to come in a few days early to help out with anything. Then she’d be back for Thanksgiving. Valerie took the week off of work. I guess she had plenty of vacation time and not enough money to take a real vacation.

“Morning, Mom.” Val leaned in and kissed Mom on the cheek before Mom closed the door behind her. There were only a few feet between the front door and the bathroom, so I could actually get a really good look at my mom. She had dark circles under her eyes and her roots definitely needed a touch up. But she still had a smile on her face. She never stopped smiling, even when her life was falling apart.

“Hey, Val. Hey, Melanie.” Mom stopped at the bathroom door. “Ready for breakfast?”

It was the longest weekend of my entire life. Not to mention that I had my sister sleeping on my couch and my Mom sleeping on an air mattress on the floor, so my apartment felt even smaller than it already was.

But it was better to have people there instead of being alone. Well, I might not have been alone if John had anything to do with it, but cuddling with John was not an option.

I stared out the window of my mom’s car as we pulled into the emergency room entrance. I was too shocked to even ask the doctor what might happen afterward. If there was any risk that I wouldn’t survive the procedure.

A bored looking nurse sat behind the desk and barely glanced up as we entered. I expected to see more bloodied and beat up people waiting around, but the room was surprisingly empty.

“Hi, I’m Melanie Wilder, I’m here to check in for surgery.”

“Do you have your ID and insurance card?” The woman didn’t even look up from her computer.

I pulled the cards from my wallet and handed them to her. She made a copy of both items and sat back down at the computer. “Okay, it looks like we have you set up with Dr. Rodriguez. A nurse will be with you shortly to get you prepped for surgery.”

“Okay.” I nodded.

I took a seat with Mom and Valerie in one of the uncomfortable plastic chairs in the waiting area. There wasn’t a single magazine that was newer than six months old and some boring infomercial on the TV. So I sat and let my mind wander. John wasn’t there. I told myself that he would probably show up later, but part of me thought he wouldn’t come at all. That he finally realized this was all a mistake. I knew I couldn’t worry about John, but he was still on my mind. It was easier to worry about a guy ditching me than to think about what would happen if this procedure wasn’t successful.

When the doors swung open in the lobby, I thought maybe it was John coming in, but instead it was a limping guy on the arm of his wife. I let out a deep breath after they walked to the desk.

“Looking for someone?” Valerie leaned over.

“No. Well, Monica said she’d come by, but she may have meant to my apartment afterward.” Monica did say that she wanted to be there for my surgery, but I didn’t expect her to be.

“Uh huh, and is Monica over six feet tall and looks like she just walked off a body building set?” Valerie raised her eyebrows.

Mom looked over Valerie’s shoulder. “Is everything all right over here? Are we waiting for someone else?”

“Melanie’s boyfriend,” Valerie blurted.

“You have a boyfriend? And he’s coming here?” Mom blinked hard. She had at least three cups of coffee, but still looked exhausted.

“He’s not my boyfriend.” I elbowed Valerie in the side. Of course she had to bring him up when Mom was around. She’d probably eventually meet him, if he did show up, but I didn’t want him introduced as my boyfriend.

“What is he then?” Valerie had a small smile on her face that Mom couldn’t see. Of course she would pin me in the corner. My stupid big sister was always trying to rat me out. She’d been doing that since we were kids.

“He’s a friend. Who I sort of like...” I stammered, trying to think of a word to describe John. I liked him, yeah. He was funny and charming and unbelievably good looking. Yet he also had other girls that were always clamoring for his attention. I guess friends for now would still work. That was what we said. Before last night. Before he made me orgasm in a very public place. “Can we just talk about something else?”

“Like what? The weather?” Valerie blinked.

She had a point. There was that unspoken subject hanging over our heads: why we were here. That I was going in for surgery to remove my cancer. That this might not work. That my body may still be broken beyond repair.

When the door opened again, I didn’t even look up, expecting it to be another set of hobbling people. But then Valerie sat up straighter, puffing out her chest. “Hey, Monica. Hey, John.”

What? I blinked hard before I glanced in the direction my sister was looking. There stood Monica, Trey, and John. Monica smiled at Valerie and Trey introduced himself, but John just stood there with his hands in his pockets, looking like a little kid who was about to be reprimanded.

Mom stood and hugged Monica and then examined a button on Monica’s coat. “Monica, I knew you were dating the governor’s son, but have you switched parties as well?”

Monica rolled her eyes and held out the button that read “Chapman for Governor.” “No, I lost a bet on who would win Dancing with the Stars and I have to wear this for the rest of the holiday.”

Mom turned and shook hands with Trey. “Well, I’m glad that you’re keeping her in line. Someone has to.”

He briskly shook her hand. “The pleasure is all mine, Mrs. Wilder.”

Then Mom’s eyes flitted over to John. Mom was petite like me so he towered over her. He was in his usual backwards hat and an AM hoodie. Not that I expected him to dress up to meet my mom, but it didn’t look like he was trying to impress her in any way. Maybe he didn’t think he needed to make a good impression if we weren’t dating.

“You must be the boy that Valerie was just telling me about.” She stepped in front of him.

“Um, I don’t know what boy she was talking about, but I’m John. Melanie’s friend.” He shook her hand, his eyes jerking around nervously before they landed on mine and he offered a small smile.

“Friend? You must be a very good friend to come here for her surgery. I’m sure she appreciates it very much.”

He nodded, letting go of my mom’s hand with his eyes locked on mine. “I’d like to think so.”

Luckily the awkwardness was broken up when the nurse came in with a wheelchair to take me to surgery prep. “Um, I don’t think I need this. I’m not an invalid or actually sick or anything.”

The peppy nurse smiled, bobbing her head. “Sorry, it’s hospital policy.”

“Fine.” I reluctantly sat in the wheelchair.

“And are you all family?” She looked at the entourage I had gathered.

“Yes,” Mom said, not letting anyone else speak.

“Okay, then, follow us and I’ll point you to the waiting area.”

As I was wheeled down hallway after hallway, I thought about all of the steps that led me to this point. The mistake of being too trusting with my ex—and here I was facing a disease. And, ironically, it was my quest for bedding John that led me to getting checked out by a doctor in the first place. If I’d never met John or decided that I liked him, would I be where I was right now? Or would my condition have gotten worse?

The nurse wheeled me to a curtained off area with a small bed and different machines surrounding it. She pulled a gown from a drawer and set it on the bed. “You’re going to need to get completely undressed and put on this gown. Another nurse and tech will be with you shortly to get you prepped. Have a great day and good luck.”

The rest of my entourage was standing around the bed. I didn’t exactly want to get undressed in front of everyone, so I was glad when Monica spoke up. “Um, I think I’m going to head over to that waiting room she talked about. Is that cool?”

“Yeah, that’s fine.” I nodded.

Monica leaned over and gave me a big hug. “Good luck in there. We’ll be waiting.”

“Yes, good luck, Melanie,” Trey said, before he took Monica’s hand and they walked out of the room.

“Are they engaged yet?” Mom asked.

“Mom, they just started dating. Not everyone gets married right away,” I said. At least the scrutiny was off of me.

“They will,” John said in a low voice.

Valerie turned and looked at John. “Do you know something that we don’t?”

He shrugged. “It’s just obvious. That’s all. When you care a lot about someone, it happens.” His eyes nervously searched the room, briefly falling on mine before he looked down.

The room stayed silent for what seemed like forever until my mom broke the silence. “Okay, we’ll step outside the curtain here and let you get ready.”

“Sounds good.” Mom, Valerie, and John stepped outside of the curtain. I thought John would follow Monica and Trey to the waiting room, but when the nurses opened the curtain, he was still there.

He stayed while the nurses hooked me up to IVs and asked me medical questions. He leaned against the wall, not saying a word, as they told me what would happen in the procedure. Mom sat in the chair next to me, holding my hand and Valerie stood on the other side of the bed. I felt like I was being wheeled to my death, like this was the last time they’d see me. Mom didn’t cry, but I could see that she wanted to. I was trying to be the strong one. To not think about what was going to happen to me.

“Mom, it’s going to be okay. I’m going to be okay,” I said to her in almost a whisper. Whatever medication they gave me was starting to kick in and I started to drift off to sleep.