After the sushi came and we ordered the rest of our dinner, an Asian man with a tall, red chef’s cap came up behind the grill. “Hello, hello.” He turned on the grill beneath him and pulled out a cart of different meats and spices.

“Think he always wanted to do this? Or maybe he wanted to be a doctor and just couldn’t get into med school?” John leaned over, whispering in my ear.

“It wasn’t that he couldn’t get into med school. His mother got sick and she told him he had to stay here and fulfill his destiny to work at an Asian restaurant,” I whispered, trying to keep from giggling.

“Mother knows best.” His lips tickled my earlobe and I couldn’t help but let a small laugh escape.

“Hey, lovebirds, do I have your order right or are you too busy necking to notice?” the chef asked, pointing at us with one of his cooking knives.

I snapped my head up and could feel my cheeks flush, but as usual John was as cool as a cucumber. He smiled and looked at the chef. “We weren’t necking...yet. But I’m sure we will be as soon as you’re done making our steaks.”

The hipster couple shook their heads, but I could hear Martha awwing at us again. Luckily the chef had a sense of humor, but it still embarrassed the heck out of me.

“Okay, red meat and then necking. Gotcha. You need some wine? Or music to set the mood?” he asked, playing an invisible violin on his shoulder.

“That would be great,” John said.

“I try and make the night as romantic for you as possible,” the chef said as he cracked an egg on the grill and then started humming “Let’s get it on” by Marvin Gaye.

My nights with John were always interesting.

* * *

After dinner, and after I’d been embarrassed enough by John and the chef, we got back into John’s car and instead of turning toward campus, he went the other way.

“Um, you know this is going toward the highway and not my apartment, right?”

He didn’t look at me, but smiled. “Yeah, Red, I know where I’m going.”

It hadn’t started to snow yet, but the temperature dropped enough that it looked like the clouds could just burst open and we’d have a blizzard at any moment.

“Then where are we going?” I asked.

He shook his head. “That’s a surprise. I can’t give away all of my secrets.”

“If this is a first date, shouldn’t you be like groveling to keep me happy or something?”

His smile turned into an all out grin. “How many first dates have you been on? It’s the girl that usually cares more about all that impressing shit. The guy just usually does whatever he can in hopes that he will get invited back up to her room after it’s over.”

I almost choked on my own spit and had to pound my fist against my chest. “Is that what you’re doing?”

“Red, if I wanted to get you in bed, I don’t think I’d need to take you out to dinner first.”

I crossed my arms over my chest. “I told you I wasn’t going to sleep with you tonight and I meant that.”

“Geez, cool down. I was just joking.” He put his hand on my knee. “Will you just enjoy your time with me and stop thinking I’m going to trick you or something?”

I blew a big puff of air out of my nose. I didn’t have an answer. At least not one that I could say out loud. I didn’t know what we were half the time. One minute I would think we were on the path to a relationship and then he’d get a lap dance from a girl or I’d do something stupid. He wasn’t like Robby, that was for sure. But it may have been my comparing him to Robby that was holding me back.

“Fine.”

I watched the landscape change out of the window. It went from the shuffle of a campus environment and the bar scene to an endless road of barren fields that had long been plowed and were just awaiting the first snow. It seemed like we traveled down the road forever, the only sound was the radio. Finally, John turned on his turn signal at an exit for a small town a few miles from Central.

“Pace? What the heck is in Pace?” I stared at the small town as it came into view. There was a little pizza place and a big antique mall, that seemed to be the big attractions. The only other thing I could see from the highway was a gas station and a Dairy Queen. I hoped his big surprise wasn’t just to take me out to ice cream.

“What? You don’t just like hanging out in the middle of the cornfields?”

“I hope you’re kidding.”

He drove past the gas station and further into the small town. It didn’t look like there was anything special. I’d only actually been there once and that was to get gas with my sister when we were on the way to Chicago. I never traveled past that gas station or anywhere else in town.

John put on his blinker and turned into a dimly lit parking lot. The building looked like a giant white slab of cement without any real markings on it. That is, until I saw a small sign when we turned around the corner that said “Iced Up Skating Rink.”

“We’re going ice skating?” I stared at the giant building. There were only five other cars in the parking lot so it didn’t look like it was too busy, even on a weekend. I guess not many people came out for small town ice skating.

“Of course we are. That’s why my skates are in the back.” He hitched his thumb toward the backseat.

I glanced back and saw a pair of red and white skates sitting on the seat. “Huh. I didn’t even notice those.”

“Well they’re my hockey skates from high school, so if you want to shoot the puck around we can do that too.”

I took a big gulp. “The last time I ice skated was in middle school. I’m not even sure I know what to do. Do you think it’s even wise for me to be moving like that after my surgery? What if I fall?”

He put the car into park and turned it off, before grabbing his skates out of the backseat. “Hopefully you should be fine.” He grabbed my hand, lacing our fingers. “And if you do, I’ll be there to catch you when you fall.”

My fingers warmed from his touch. I knew he meant the term in the physical sense, but I was hoping he would still be there for me emotionally as well, because I was afraid I had fallen way too hard for him.

He let go of my hand and then came around the side, opening the door for me. The temperature had dropped another few degrees and I shivered as soon as I stepped out of the Jeep. Like he was expecting me to be cold, he put his arm around my shoulders and pulled me close to him. “You should wear a heavier jacket, Red. It’s not summertime.”

“Maybe I’m just using it as an excuse to get close to you,” I teased.

He kissed the top of my head. “You know you don’t need an excuse for that.”

The place looked it like it was straight out of the 1970’s and hadn’t been updated since. It had light oak wood panels surrounding the rink. Painted in the middle of the ice was a globe and some other red and blue lines running down the sides of it. Bright fluorescent lights shone down from a white domed ceiling onto two girls in sequined outfits spinning around the rink. A bored looking teen with bright red freckles in a black and white striped shirt sat behind a snack counter. He barely looked at us when we walked in.

“Hey, two for skating and we need one skate rental.” John spoke to the kid smoothly, ignoring that the kid probably didn’t want to be there.

The kid pushed off the counter, like it took every bit of effort he had to walk the few feet to the register. “Okay, two skate fees and a skate rental. That’s $12.51.”

John pulled out his wallet and handed the kid a twenty and then looked over at me. “What size skates do you need, Red?”

* * *

John glided on the ice like it was as natural to him as walking. I, on the other hand, was tripping and flailing around like an infant learning to walk.

“Come on, Red. Don’t force it, just let your body tell you where to move.” John’s soothing voice carried over me. He had one hand on my waist to steady me and the other was trying to hold my flailing arms.

I couldn’t trust what my body would tell me. My body had done nothing but fail me lately. “I’m trying.”

My toe dipped forward and I tripped, falling forward, but then John’s arms were there to catch me. He spun around so he was facing me and pulled me up. He wrapped an arm around my waist and put his other hand on my chin, tipping it up so that I was forced to meet his eyes. “That’s the problem, Red. You’re trying too hard. You need to just let go. Don’t you ever just relax?”

“What?” I struggled to stay on my feet, feeling the skates give way underneath me. But John gripped tighter onto my waist and I pulled myself to stand on the thin blades.

“You always seem too put together, like you’re calculating every move you make. The first time I saw you, you intrigued me. Not just the fact that you looked beyond hot in that Hermione costume, but how even more beautiful you’d look if I could just get you to let go. I wanted to be the one to do that to you. Just me and me alone.” He moved his hand from my chin and pushed a fallen curl behind my ear. “That night you found out about the cancer was one of realest I’d ever seen you. You let yourself go. You let me in and I got to see the side of you that wasn’t so wound up. Granted it wasn’t a pleasant experience, but I was glad that you opened up.”

“I’m not wound up,” I protested. Though, I wasn’t so sure of that, even when I was saying it. He was sort of right. There was a certain way I liked things done. I didn’t want surprises. I practically planned out my whole life and was used to the routine. That’s the way I liked it. Then John and cancer came into my life and all my plans went out the window.

“It’s not a bad thing. Your studious side is pretty sexy.” He leaned in closer, his lips on my ear. “But there was nothing hotter than watching you come undone on the dance floor for me.”

My whole body heated up from his words. “That was different.”

“Why do you think I was so drawn to you? I wanted to get to know the girl behind the Hermione sweater and when you let go, it’s incredibly hot. So let go, Red.” He nibbled at my earlobe and then his lips trailed down to my neck, his teeth nipping at the soft skin.

A low moan gathered in my stomach and burst through my mouth. I tried to hold it in, but the feeling of his warm lips was enough to turn me into a puddle of jelly.

His lips were back on my ear. “As much as I would like to see you come undone again here, I think we need to try this skating thing again.” He pushed back, grabbing onto both of my hands and pulling me with him as he glided across the floor backwards.

“Are you serious right now?” I pushed my legs forward, trying to shift my feet without falling as he moved like it was no big deal.

“Come on, let go.” His eyes pleaded with mine as he pulled me in a circle around the small skating rink.

The other two girls weren’t even paying attention to us and the guy at the snack counter hadn’t looked up once from his phone, yet I was still afraid to fall. It wasn’t that I was afraid of hurting myself on the ice or even embarrassing myself in front of John. It was something else. Something almost primal that wouldn’t let me.

Then John dropped his hands from mine, but still stayed only a foot away from me, skating backwards, slowly.

“Why did you do that?” I kept my hands out in front of me, my feet still moving forward, but clumsily like I would slip at any moment. “Hold my hand!” I reached forward, but he skated backwards, just barely out of reach.

“John!”I screeched.

He smiled, barely showing any teeth. “Come on, Red. You can either keep skating or you can fall. You’ll never know what’s going to happen unless you try.”

“This isn’t funny!” I stumbled forward, trying to reach for his hands, but every time I got closer, he was quicker and moved out of the way.

“What’s it going to be, Red? Skate or fall?” He raised an eyebrow.

“I don’t know what kind of psychological thing you are trying to pull here, but it isn’t funny!” I lurched forward, hoping to fall into his arms, but he moved too fast. My feet gave out first, slipping on the ice like butter on a frying pan. My legs went airborne and I moved too fast to even blink or move my arms to soften the blow. Instead, I fell chest first onto the cold ice below, followed by my face.

John was by my side, pulling me up to my knees. But that didn’t stop the pain from exploding onto my body. The cold ice soaked through my clothes and my nose felt like it was bent in half.

“Are you okay?” John’s voice was soft and concerned, but at that moment I was angry at him for letting me fall.