There was a little murmur at the news and they began to disperse. Robert shook John Philips warmly by the hand, kissed Lady Philips on her cheek and then turned to me.

“Hannah? Is that really you?”

I came down the stairs slowly, conscious of his wife behind him, still standing in the doorway.

“My lord,” I said. I reached the bottom step and dropped him a curtsey.

“I would never have known you,” he said incredulously. “You are more than a girl, Hannah. You are a woman grown, and out of your breeches at last! Did you have to learn how to walk all over again? Show me your shoes! Go on! Are you in high heels? And a babe in your arms? This is a transformation!”

I smiled but I could feel Amy’s eyes boring into me. “This is my son,” I said. “I thank you for saving us from Calais.”

His face clouded over for a moment. “I wish I could have saved them all.”

“Have you any news from the town?” I asked him. “My husband and his family may still be there. Did you send my letter onward?”

He shook his head. “I gave it to my pageboy and told him to give it to a fisherman who goes out deep into the French seas, and asked him to pass it to a French ship if he met with one, but I could do no more for you. We have heard nothing of the men who were captured. We have not even begun peace proposals. King Philip will keep us at war with France for as long as he can, and the queen is in no position to argue. There will be some exchange of prisoners, and men sent home, but God knows when.” He shook his head as if to dislodge the memories of the fall of the infallible castle. “You know, I have never seen you in a gown before. You are transformed!”

I tried to laugh but I could see Amy coming to claim her husband.

“You will want to wash and change out of your riding clothes,” she said firmly.

Robert bowed to her.

“There is hot water in your bedchamber,” she said.

“Then I’ll go up.” He glanced over his shoulder. “And someone must show Dee where he is to lodge.” I shrank back, but my lord did not notice. He called out: “Here, John – look at who we have here!”

John Dee came forward and I saw that he was more changed than Robert. His hair was graying at the temples, his eyes were dark with fatigue. But his air of confidence and his inner peace were as strong as ever.

“Who is this lady?” he asked.

“I am Hannah Carpenter, Mr. Dee,” I said guardedly. I did not know whether he was going to acknowledge that we had last met in the most terrible place in England when I was on trial for my life and he was my judge. “I was Hannah Green. The queen’s fool.”

He looked quickly at me again and then a slow sweet smile spread from his eyes to his lips. “Ah, Hannah, I would not have known you in your gown.”

“And he is Dr. Dee now,” my lord said casually. “Bishop Bonner’s chaplain.”

“Oh,” I said guardedly.

“And is this your son?” John Dee asked.

“Yes. This is Daniel Carpenter,” I said proudly, and John Dee reached forward and touched my little boy’s fingers with his own. Comically, Danny turned his head away and pressed his face into my shoulder.

“How old is he?”

“Nearly two.”

“And his father?”

I frowned. “I parted from my husband at Calais, I don’t know if he is safe,” I said.

“You have no… sense of him?” John Dee asked me, his voice low.

I shook my head.

“Dr. Dee, Hannah will show you to your chamber,” Amy’s voice broke in abruptly, speaking of me as if I were her servant.

I led the way up the stairs to one of the small bedchambers on the first floor, John Dee following me. Lord Robert sprang up the stairs two at a time behind us, we heard the door bang as he went into his room.

I had barely showed John Dee where he was to sleep, the cupboard where he could put his clothes, and poured hot water for him to wash, when the chamber door opened and Lord Robert came in.

“Hannah, don’t go,” he said. “I want to hear your news.”

“I have none,” I said coolly. “I have been here, as you know, all this long while, with your wife, doing nothing.”

He gave a short laugh. “Have you been bored, Mistress Boy? It cannot be worse than married life, surely?”

I smiled. I was not going to tell Lord Robert that I had parted from my husband within a year of our marriage.

“And have you kept your gift?” John Dee asked quietly. “I always thought that the angels would only come to a virgin.”

I thought for a moment, I could not forget that the last time I had seen him he had been advising Bishop Bonner. I remembered the woman who had cupped her torn fingers in her lap. I remembered the smell of urine in the little room and the wet warmth in my breeches, and my shame. “I don’t know, sir,” I said, my voice very small.

Robert Dudley heard the constraint in my tone and looked quickly from me to his friend. “How now?” he asked sharply. “What’s this?”

Dr. Dee and I exchanged an odd complicit glance: that of the secret torturer to his unproclaimed victim, that of a horror shared. He said nothing.

“Nothing,” I said.

“Odd sort of nothing,” Lord Robert said, his tone hardening. “You tell me, John.”

“She was brought before Bonner,” John Dee said briefly. “Heresy. I was there. The charges were dismissed. She was released.”

“My God, you must have pissed yourself, Hannah!” Robert exclaimed.

He hit the mark so precisely that my cheeks burned red and I gripped Daniel’s son against me.

John Dee shot a brief apologetic look at me. “We were all afraid,” he said. “But in this world, we all do what we have to do, Robert. We all do the best we can. Sometimes we wear masks, sometimes we can be ourselves, sometimes the masks are truer than the faces. Hannah betrayed no one and was clearly innocent herself. She was released. That’s all.”

Lord Robert leaned over and gripped Bishop Bonner’s most orthodox, most rigorous chaplain by the hand. “That’s all indeed. I would not have wanted her racked, she knows much too much. I am glad you were there.”

John Dee did not glow in return. “No one was there by choice,” he said. “There were more innocents than this one that went to be scourged and burned.”

I looked from one man to the other, wondering where the allegiances truly lay. At least now I knew enough not to ask, and not to trust any answer.

Lord Robert turned back to me. “And so do you have your gift still, even though you have lost your virginity?”

“It comes so rarely that it is hard to tell. But I had a true seeing in Calais, after my wedding: I foresaw the horsemen riding through the streets.” I shut my eyes against the memory.

“You saw the French coming into Calais?” Lord Robert asked incredulously. “Dear God, why didn’t you warn me?”

“I would have done if I had known what it was,” I replied. “Don’t doubt me. I would have come at once if I could have understood what I was seeing. But it was so unclear. It was a woman being cut down as she ran from them and calling out…” I broke off. I would not tell even these trusted men that she called me to take her son. Danny was mine now. “God knows I would have warned that woman… even though… I would not want anyone to suffer that death.”

Robert shook his head and turned to look out of the window. “I wish to God I had been warned,” he said moodily.

“Will you scry for me again?” John Dee asked. “So that we can see if your gift remains true?”

I looked at him in utter disbelief. “Are you seeking the advice of angels?” I asked the Inquisitor’s chaplain. “You? Of all men?”

John Dee was not at all perturbed by the sharpness of my tone. “I do not change my beliefs. And we need guidance all the more, in these troubled times. But we must ask discreetly. There is always danger for those who seek knowledge. But if we could know that the queen will give birth to a healthy child we would be better able to plan for the future. If she is to be blessed with a son, then Princess Elizabeth should change her plans.”

“And I should change mine,” Lord Robert remarked wryly.

“Anyway, I don’t know if I can do it,” I said. “I have only seen the future just once, in all the time I was in Calais.”

“Shall we try this evening?” Lord Robert asked. “Will you try and see if it comes easily, Hannah? For old times’ sake?”

My gaze slid past him to John Dee. “No,” I said flatly.

John Dee looked directly at me, his dark eyes meeting mine with honesty. “Hannah, I do not pretend that my ways are not dark and tortuous,” he said simply. “But you for one should be glad that I was there at St. Paul’s when you were arraigned to answer.”

“I was glad that my innocence was recognized,” I said staunchly. “And I don’t want to go in there again.”

“You will not,” he said simply. “My word on it.”

“So will you scry for us?” my lord pressed me.

I hesitated. “If you will ask a question for me,” I bargained with them.

“What is it?” John Dee asked.

“If my husband is alive or dead,” I said. “It’s all I want to know. I don’t even ask the future, if I shall see him again. I would be happy just to know that he is alive.”

“You love him so much?” Lord Robert asked skeptically. “Your young man?”

“I do,” I said simply. “I cannot rest until I know that he is safe.”

“I shall ask the angels and you shall scry for me,” John Dee promised. “Tonight?”

“When Danny is asleep,” I said. “I couldn’t do it while I was listening for him.”

“At eight o’clock?” Lord Robert asked. “Here?”

John Dee glanced around. “I will ask the men to bring up my table and my books.”

Lord Robert noticed the smallness of the room and made an impatient noise. “She always does this,” he said irritably. “She never puts my friends in the best chambers. She is sick with envy of them, I shall tell her…”

“There is plenty of room,” Dee said pacifically. “And she is bound to resent you coming with a great train when she will have wanted you to herself. Should you not go to her now?”

Lord Robert went reluctantly to the door. “Come with me,” he said. “Come, both of you, and we’ll take a glass of ale to wash down the dust from the road.”

I hung back. “I cannot come,” I said when he held the door for me.

“What?”

“She does not receive me,” I said awkwardly. “I am not invited to sit with her.”

Robert’s dark eyebrows snapped together. “I told her that she was to keep you with her as her companion until we decided where you should live,” he said. “Where do you dine?”

“At the table for the maids. I am not seated with your wife.”

He took a rapid step toward the stairs and then he checked himself and came back. “Come,” he said, holding out his hand to me. “I am master here, I do not have to argue to see my wishes done. Just come, and you shall dine with me now. She is a stupid woman who does not reward her husband’s loyal servants. And a jealous woman who thinks that a pretty face is safer seen from afar.”

I did not go to his outstretched hand. I smiled at him steadily, keeping my place in the window seat. “My lord,” I said. “I imagine you are going back to court within a few days?”

“Yes,” he said. “What of it?”

“Shall you take me with you?”

He looked surprised. “I don’t know. I hadn’t thought.”

I felt my smile turn into a giggle. “I thought not,” I said. “So I may have to stay here for some weeks yet?”

“Yes. And so?”

“And so I would rather not spur your wife’s irritation into rage if you are going to blow in and out again like a spring wind that spoils the peace of the orchard.”

He laughed. “Are you at peace, my little orchard?”

“We are in a state of quiet enmity,” I said frankly. “But I would rather that, than the open warfare you would bring. Go and sit with her now, and I will meet you back here tonight.”

Robert patted me on the cheek. “God bless your caution, Hannah. I think I should never have given you to the king. I would be a better man today if I had kept your counsel.”

Then he ran downstairs whistling, and it made me shiver when I heard the wind at the castle windows whistle back at him.


I watched Amy at dinner. She never took her eyes off her husband throughout the prolonged meal. She ached to be the center of her husband’s attention but she had no skills to fascinate him. She knew nothing of the gossip of the court, she had not even heard of half of the names that he mentioned. I, seated below the salt, kept my eyes on my plate to prevent myself from looking up and laughing at a story about a woman I knew, or interrupting to ask him what had become of one young courtier or another.

Lady Amy did not even have the native wit to invite him to talk, even if she knew nothing herself. She pursed her lips whenever he spoke of a woman, she looked down in disapproval when he laughingly mentioned the queen. She was downright rude to John Dee whom she clearly regarded as a turncoat from the defeated Protestant cause. But she was no enthusiast for news of the Princess Elizabeth either.