I said: “It was painted with that purpose…to show the similarities between us.”

My mother smiled slyly. “I am sure it will please the Prince.”

“But…I do not want …”

She waved a hand and there was a warning in her eyes. I could see how fierce she would be in anger. She did not want to know what I thought unless it was in favor of the match. If I was proposing to object I had better be silent. In any case my views in the matter were immaterial.

“Now,” she went on, “an embassy will be here shortly. The Duke of York is on the Continent. He will come to Paris to discuss certain matters. Naturally he and his embassy will wish to see you.” She looked at me archly. “And take back a report. We must see that it is a good one.”

I was silent.

“You must learn to be more animated. We do not want the English to say you are dull. Isabelle was full of life. You must try to be like her. They will speak to you in English and you must reply to them in their language…show them that you are not stupid. I have dressmakers coming tomorrow. There are many preparations to be made. You must make a good impression on the King of England’s ambassadors.”

I knew that there was no escape and I was filled with foreboding.

I longed for the peace of Poissy.

The period of preparation had begun. I was with my mother often. She, who had spent a lifetime adorning herself, knew exactly how to accentuate the good points in others. Colors were chosen with the utmost care; the cut of a sleeve, the fall of a skirt…they were matters of great moment. She applauded or abused the dressmakers in accordance with what she considered their deserts. One would have thought we were going into war, or that some matter of great importance to the country’s welfare was being decided.

Jewels were chosen for me. I had to practice my English; I had to learn to dance—a matter which, to my mother’s chagrin, had been somewhat neglected at Poissy. I was kept so busy that I had little time to brood on my situation—which was a good thing.

My dead sister was constantly referred to—“Isabelle did this…she had a habit of …”—until I felt I was impersonating her. And how I longed for her to be with me, to advise me…to help me…to explain what I had to do. The odious Henry of Monmouth had sought her at one time…and ardently, it seemed. She had turned from him in horror. He had never seen me…but his father was seeking me on his behalf. He might not want me any more than I wanted him.

Oh, Isabelle, I thought, if you were here, you would tell me what to do. You would help me to evade this fate which they are determined to press upon me. You did it. How can I?

But Isabelle was gone and I was alone; and I was completely at the command of my indomitable mother.

At length the ambassadors came. I had conversed with them in their own tongue and they had graciously applauded me on my command of their language, which I believe was due to politeness rather than truth, for I had stumbled a little. But it seemed my looks and my demeanor were acceptable; and there was reference to my likeness to my sister Isabelle.

My mother was not displeased.

“You did well,” she told me, and she patted my head. “I could have thought it was Isabelle all over again.” She perfunctorily dabbed at her eyes for a few moments.

The English emissaries were still in Paris, and negotiations went on. I heard that the demands of the King of England were too great; on the other hand they were not refused.

Every day I dreaded to hear the outcome, for I knew that once they reached an agreement—and it was certain that both sides wanted the match to take place—my fate would be settled.

But something happened which was to give me a respite—if only temporarily.

My mother sent for me and I knew at once that she was excited but a little uncertain.

“There is news from England,” she said. “This will undoubtedly delay our plans. I hope not for long. The King of England has died. Prince Henry has become King Henry…King Henry V.”

She was smiling at me coyly.

“Well, what do you say?”

“I…I was wondering what difference that would make.”

“Delay undoubtedly. Perhaps he will want to strike a harder bargain. It was hard enough, God knows, before. But now he is the King…we shall see. Do not fret, child, I am sure your father and I will manage to get this wonderful match for you…however much we have to pay for it.”

I shivered and was silent, and she pretended to construe my attitude as one of delight.

“I know how you feel,” she went on. “It is a dazzling prospect. A Queen…you, my little Katherine. You will learn what that means. I am a proud woman. Two daughters of mine Queens of England. Is that not a wonderful triumph?” She was smiling, gazing ahead. “Of course…he will be busy for a while…getting himself crowned and dealing with matters of state. We know that full well. So it may be that we have to wait for a few weeks or so…months mayhap…before he can give himself up to the delights of marriage.”

I escaped to my own apartments, and there I shut myself in with my thoughts.

A few months. At least it was a respite.

The embassy sent to assess my worthiness to become the bride of the King of England had departed. I wondered what sort of report would be given of me.

I gathered that I looked sufficiently like my sister to please them; and I fervently hoped that it would be a long time before Henry wanted to think of marriage. He was fourteen years older than I and from what I had heard had been on particularly friendly terms with a great many women: but of course that was different. He would have to marry, and the sooner kings married the better, for one of their first duties was to get heirs.

The thought made me shudder. How grateful I was to Henry IV for dying when he did. It ensured me a few weeks—perhaps months—of peace.

There was a great deal of speculation about Henry. He had been such a wild and reckless youth that people were asking what sort of king he would make. Many people said England would be ill-governed. Perhaps that was wishful thinking, for an ill-governed England would suit France very well. Heaven knew France was in a sorry state. There was what was tantamount to war between the Burgundians and the Armagnacs; the King’s periods of lucidity were growing more and more infrequent; the Dauphin was young and inclined to flaunt his authority, and there were sycophants all around him; he was not on good terms with his mother, who objected to his attempts to interfere with her plans. She, I believed, was intriguing first with the Armagnacs and then with the Burgundians. This internal strife had weakened the country to a considerable extent, and across the Channel was a new king who had not been tested yet but had made it clear that he was casting covetous eyes on France.

All were watching events on the other side of the Channel. There were rumors that the new king had changed his character overnight. There was no more roistering with rowdy companions, no more frequenting of low taverns. He threw these habits off as though they were a cloak and revealed his true nature—a young man with a mission to rule his country well and make it great.

“It cannot last,” said some. “It is just a phase. He is a wild young man. He goes from one mood to another. No one changes like that overnight as it were.”

Others said he had long wanted the crown and that he had been impatiently waiting for his father’s death to take it. There was a story in circulation that when his father lay sick he had taken the crown and tried it on and had very much liked the feel of it upon his head.

This man they had chosen for me seemed to have many facets and moods. He was a rake; he was a dedicated king; he cared only for the life of pleasure, yet he had waited with the utmost impatience to shoulder the burdens of state.

It was difficult to know what to believe. I wanted to find out all I could about him, while I prayed that I might never have an opportunity of discovering whether it were true.

I was often in my mother’s company, and sometimes I felt that the more I saw her, the less I knew her. I had very soon learned that it would be unwise to show any defiance of her wishes. I had a habit of lowering my head in case she should read rebellion in my expression. I was always wishing that I might be sent away from Court. I longed for Poissy. But even if the negotiations did hang fire, I was still an important pawn in my mother’s game; and she wanted to keep me under close surveillance.

I was afraid of her. Large, voluptuous, perfumed, there was something snake-like about her. I saw it in the sudden venom in her eyes when she considered her enemy; and if I refused to fall in with her wishes, I could qualify for that description.

She must be at the center of some plot. I knew that she swayed between Burgundy and Armagnac, feigning friendship with each in turn and being the friend of neither. Yet, in spite of her love of intrigue, she wallowed in voluptuous indolence. Her sensuality was her most outstanding characteristic; and it must be satisfied at all cost. When I think of her now, it is to see her reclining on a couch in her splendor, lapsing into voluptuous ease, nibbling sweetmeats, calling to her little dogs, petting them, scolding them, popping sweetmeats into their mouths, stroking them while they watched her with attentive adoring eyes. I think she cared more for her pets than for any people. I supposed it was because they were completely hers to command. They obeyed without question. She did not have to manipulate them. But then I believed she enjoyed manipulating people; of course, she could fly into wild rages if those about her did not dance to her tune.

She had her lovers—several of them. I remember especially Louis de Bosredon, whom I particularly disliked. He was a nobleman who came from the Auvergne and she had made him her steward so that she could keep him close to her.

He was good-looking and very conceited. He gave himself airs, and I had heard it said that, because the Queen liked to have him in her bed, he thought he was all but in name King of France.

He clearly did not realize how short-lived the Queen’s favor could be and that she never seemed to show any regret for her lost lovers. Even in the case of the Duke of Orléans, who many believed had had a special place in her affections, she had shown no great sorrow when he was murdered.

My mother was anxious to keep my brother Louis close to her and to guide him in every way. He was a child no longer and many believed that before long he would be King of France. My father was growing less and less capable of understanding state affairs and there was a good deal of speculation about his abdicating in favor of the Dauphin. Courtiers were aware of this; and with every day Louis grew more important in the eyes of those about him—and in his own.

No one was quite sure which side the royal family supported…Burgundy or Armagnac. The Queen was so devious; she swayed between them. But Louis suddenly developed a very close friendship with the young Duke of Orléans and they were constantly together. They even dressed alike; and therefore Louis became a friend of the Armagnacs. The people followed the Court, and the Burgundians who had been in high favor in Paris were no longer so. It was fashionable now to stand with the Armagnacs. It was amazing how quickly people took up causes, and they were completely fickle. There was fighting in the streets and, I am grieved to say, often murders. Anyone who dared say a good word for Burgundy was set upon.

I felt a great sorrow for my country. People did not see that the continual bickering between two great houses could do nothing but harm to everyone.

It was not to be expected that the Duke of Burgundy would allow himself to be ousted from his position of power; and when his secret negotiations with the King of England were disclosed, there was a great outcry against him.

My mother was enraged.

“The perfidious scoundrel!” she cried. “He thinks he is the King of France…no less. How dare he! I’d have his head for this. Jean the Fearless! I’d give him something to fear!”

I do not know why she talked to me about it. I supposed it was because at that time she talked to anyone, so furious was she.

“Do you know what he has done? He has sent men to London, trying to persuade the King there to consider his daughter.”

My heart leaped with hope. Could it be that I was to be supplanted? I was sorry for the girl, but what an escape for me!