Gerri Hill - The Rainbow Cedar

"But I guess it is premature to assume there will be other dinner dates. Katherine and I have been meeting for lunch, getting to know one another again. I guess that's enough for now."

But Drew continued to war with herself, thinking how alone Jay would be. What if she hadn't been there tonight? What if they'd just invited Jenna? Would Jay have been left alone to tend to dinner, to tend to cleaning up while the two of them hid in Katherine's office? What would Jay have done?

"Well, I guess I wouldn't be totally opposed to joining you in another foursome," Drew finally conceded. She had a feeling she would live to regret that decision.

"It was the most awkward dinner party I have ever attended," Jay said. "And I gave the damn thing!"

"And you had no idea Drew would be there?"

"How would I? No, Jenna was just bringing a date. Talk about a small world."

Audrey stole the last fry from Jay's plate, then plunged it into her small bowl of mayonnaise. "And after they left, Katherine actually went back to the office? Are you kidding me?"

"And I haven't even spoken to her since. Two days." Jay shoved her plate away and reached for her tea. "I haven't seen Drew either."

"Your life's a crazy mess, you know."

"Why, Audrey, thanks so much for stating the obvious," Jay said dryly. "I can't even get alone with Katherine long enough to ask her if we're over, you know? It's like she can't stand to be around me anymore." Jay lifted her head, staring at the far wall, seeing nothing. "Like she... she just can't stand me."

"Oh, sweetie, you know that's not true."

Jay shook her head, shocked at the tears that were threatening. "I don't know what to do," she whispered. "She's all I've got."

"Jay…"

"You know what I mean. Eight years, she's taken the place of my family. I live in her house. My car is on her damn insurance, for God's sake," she said. "I let her control my life. I have nothing on my own."

"You have your business."

"Oh, right. My fledgling business with two clients."

"It's taking off," Audrey reminded her.

Jay leaned her head against her hands. "I know. You're right. It's been a good month." She slammed her fist against the table. "But I gave her eight years, Audrey. I have sacrificed for her career, I have given up a lot for her. And to think our relationship has been reduced to this, well it just fucking sucks." As Audrey's eyebrows shot to the ceiling, Jay reached across and squeezed her hand. "I know you hate that word. Sorry. But it's the fucking truth," she added with a smile.

Audrey nodded, fighting back her own smile. "I forgive you for your foul language. But I think perhaps you're being too hard on yourself. And you're assuming a lot of things here, Jay. She may have no intention of ending your relationship. She may simply be overworked and not thinking clearly."

"She was thinking clearly enough to make it home for dinner to entertain her old friend, wasn't she?"

"You're jealous of this friend," Audrey stated.

"I am not."

* * *

"Of course you are. But are you jealous because of Katherine? Or is it because of Drew?"

"Don't be silly."

"No, you don't be silly. Because frankly, you're going to drive us both crazy with these therapy session lunches."

Jay closed her eyes, fighting back tears. "Katherine is someone I don't know anymore. We're like mere acquaintances on the rare occasions we're together." She opened her eyes. "And Drew, she's like a breath of fresh air. She makes me feel good about myself. So yes, I'm jealous that she's dating Jenna. I'm afraid I'll lose her friendship."

Right? That was all she was afraid of, wasn't it? That Drew would fall in love with Jenna—with anyone—and she would drift out of her life as quickly as she had drifted into it.

Right?

Drew stood in the entry, quietly watching Jay who was sitting cross-legged on the floor, balancing a book in her lap and a handful of swatches in one hand, her glance darting from the book to the wall and back again. Drew's eyes followed her every movement, wondering why she found her actions so adorable. And wondering if she could sneak up on her.

So she tiptoed, much like a child, across the room, unable to wipe the grin off her face as she bent down and quickly covered Jay's eyes with her hands.

"Guess who?"

Jay's scream and subsequent flailing arms sent Drew backward and she landed hard on her ass behind Jay.

"Jesus Christ! I almost peed my pants!"

Drew rubbed the side of her cheek. "Seemed like a good idea at the time."

Jay scooted around until she was facing Drew, both of them still sitting on die carpet. Drew was surprised when Jay reached out and gently touched her cheek, her fingers moving across her skin.

"Did I hurt you?"

Drew shook her head, afraid Jay would move her hand. And she did, her fingers slipping away. But Jay's eyes—God, those eyes—they looked up, holding hers captive.

"You scared me."

"I missed you."

Jay nodded. "Yes."

"Good weekend?"

"No, not really. You?"

Drew shrugged. "Nothing special."

"And Jenna?"

"And Jenna what?"

Jay looked away. "Did she enjoy dinner the other night?"

"Yeah, she did. She and Katherine have been catching up, she said."

"So I hear." Jay got to her knees, then stood. "Where've you been?"

Drew stood too, walking to the wall to inspect the three colors of paint that were splattered on the wall. "We have a couple of new houses. I've been charting the yard, designing the flower beds." She turned. "I like this one best," she said, pointing to the middle paint splash.

"Okay." Jay moved closer, holding up a couple of swatches of burgundy prints. "So which one goes best?"

Drew laughed and backed away. "No way. I'll stick to yards. Color is your thing." Their eyes held as Drew backed out of the room. "See you tomorrow?"

Jay nodded. "Hope so."

Drew swam lazily across her pool, trying to muster the energy for her normal laps but it was just too damn hot. She ducked her head under the water, enjoying the coolness of the springs, then surfacing again to glide slowly across die water.

She'd been halfway tempted to invite Jay to dinner, even if it was just grabbing a burger at Rhonda's, but she thought better of it. Instead, she'd ask her to lunch tomorrow. It would be safer than dinner. Dinner was too intimate a meal. Lunch, much more informal. Just two friends out for a quick bite. It would be quite innocent.

She nipped onto her back, lazily kicking her feet. If she wasn't careful, this little infatuation she had was going to end up consuming her. And if she had any sense, she'd stay away ... far away. Her attraction to Jay was reaching levels she was unaccustomed to. Her desire to see Jay, be with her, talk to her, was becoming a force she had a hard time controlling. It was like this unseen energy, powerfully pulling at her, drawing her closer and closer, tightening its grip on her with each encounter.

And making her lose her sense of reality. Because the reality was, Jay was living with Katherine. They were together. They were a couple. For eight years, they'd been a couple. And the reality was that no matter what Drew did, they would still be a couple.

Because even if Jenna and Katherine had an affair—were already having an affair—Jay would never know. She would go on, being as unhappy as she was now, but living a lie with Katherine. And Drew wondered if she pushed the issue, if she kept seeing Jay, would Jay eventually give in to her desires? Would they have their own affair? No. Doubtful. She didn't think Jay was the type. No, they would see each other, flirting with their attraction, much like they did now, driving both of them crazy with it until eventually it had to stop. Jay would pull away, they would drift apart, and their brief friendship would eventually fade.

What a waste.

Drew slipped under the water, her arms and legs moving as they glided under the surface, hands brushing the smooth stones on the bottom as she raced across the pool, trying to outrun her feelings. A waste, yes. Because when she was near Jay, when she looked into her eyes, she knew without a doubt that Jay was the one. The one with all the qualities she sought, the one who held her attention, who made her feel good, who made her heart race... the one she longed to touch, to kiss.

She finally surfaced, her lungs ready to burst as she sucked in fresh air. She stood in the water, trying to catch her breath.

She should have told Jenna no, she wouldn't be a part of their so-called foursome. What business was it of hers if Jenna and Katherine had an affair? She wasn't a knight in shining armor. No one expected her to be there should Jay fall, should she need picking up. But how could she, in good conscience, sit idly by, knowing that Jenna and Katherine were sneaking off to be together, leaving an unsuspecting Jay all alone? How could she do that?

"You're gonna get hurt," she murmured. "She's going to break your heart."

Jay punched the remote to the garage as soon as she turned in the driveway, winding through the oak trees toward the back where the garage was. But she slammed on her brakes, frowning.

Katherine's BMW convertible was parked inside.

She glanced at the clock on the dash. Six thirty. What in the world was Katherine doing home at this hour? Was something wrong? Was she ill? Questions swirled through her mind as she pulled into the garage and parked beside Katherine's car. Nothing looked out of order, but she hurried through the side door and into the backyard, stopping up short at the sight of Katherine lounging in the pool.

"You're home."

"No, you're home," Jay said, going closer. "What's up?"

Katherine lazily splashed water on her legs, putting the float in motion as she drifted toward Jay. "I was tired."

"Yeah, about six months ago."

Katherine laughed. "I made partner. And I met my client goals."

"Congratulations."

Katherine stretched her arms behind her, uttering a satisfied moan as her eyes closed. "So, I'm taking a break. And don't worry about dinner. I've ordered. French okay?"

"Sure."

"Why don't you join me?"

"Okay. Let me change."

"And I'll have another drink," she said, pointing to the empty glass at the pool's edge.

Jay nodded, stopping to collect the glass. She was tired too. She'd had a long day, starting, at seven that morning and only breaking for a quick lunch. And she still had work to do. But a dip in the pool sounded refreshing after the heat of the day.

So she shed her clothes, slipping into the sleek, black swim-suit—her favorite. Katherine would say the color wasn't flattering on her, but she didn't care. She refused to wear the bright, flowery one Katherine preferred. She thought it made her look old.

As she made Katherine's drink, she changed her mind on the iced tea she'd already poured. It was hot and she was tired. So she left the gin out, making a Tom Collins for herself too.

"So does this mean you'll be getting back to normal hours?" Jay asked when she joined Katherine in the pool.

"For awhile, yes. Until the end of the year. I think by January, I'll be ready to seriously consider going off on my own. Of course, that'll mean more work as I try to build my own practice. But I've made a lot of contacts." She pulled her long hair behind her, holding the wet ends off of her back. "But I'm ready for a break. And I'm glad you're home. I found us a wonderful place to stay."

Jay frowned, drifting idly in her pool chair. "Stay? Stay where?"

"In Hawaii. Ten days. And I don't want ten days in a hotel room. How does a bungalow on the beach sound?"

"That sounds... sounds lovely. When did you want to do this?"

"Oh, I've already made reservations. Didn't I tell you? The first week in August."

Jay's eyes widened. "August? Kath, you can't expect me to just drop everything without notice. I have deadlines. I'm under contract."

"For what?"

Jay bit her lip. "I have a business, remember?"