Gerri Hill - The Rainbow Cedar

"Betrayal?"

Jay turned, staring out at the water again, trying to find its peace. Inner turmoil was a terrible tiling. Part of her wanted to lash out at Katherine, to hurt her. Another part simply wished it was over with, wished she could just go home and... and what? All she wanted was a little happiness, a little love, a little peace and contentment. Things she realized she hadn't ever had with Katherine. Not really. Things she imagined she could have with Drew.

She turned back around, not afraid to meet Katherine's eyes head on. "Did you think I wouldn't notice? Do you actually think I'm that stupid to not know? And then this?" she asked, looking around the room. "You brought me here so you could have sex with me now?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Oh, stop playing games, Katherine. I'm so tired of games." She moved closer. "I'm talking about you and Jenna and your affair. That's all I'm talking about."

Katherine's eyes widened as if in shock. "How dare you accuse me of such a thing? I have never given you cause to think I would do something like that."

"How dare you insult me by lying about it?"

Katherine stood quickly, facing Jay. "I should be the one insulted. I'm the one being accused of cheating on you." She smirked. "What is it, Jay? Feeling insecure? Just because we missed the shuttle and had to stay over last night, you let your imagination get the best of you?"

"Last night? Kath, last night has nothing to do with it. We— you and I—haven't been a real couple in so long, I can't even remember. Because you're never home. Ever. And the last time we attempted to have sex, you fell asleep in the middle of it. So when Jenna comes into your life, when you make time for her like you never could for me, of course I'm going to think something is up. But this trip just confirmed it. I'm not blind to the looks between you. So don't lie to me."

"You've got it all figured out, don't you?" She laughed. "Do you think there's a reason I didn't come home, Jay? Did it ever occur to you that maybe it was because you were there?" She took a step closer. "Living with you had become unbearable. It was like living in an icebox."

"You're right. Your house is very cold. There's no warmth there. I know now there wasn't any love there either. I don't think you're capable of love. You're too selfish."

The blow came so quickly, Jay had no time to react. Her head snapped to the side, her cheek stinging from the force of Katherine's slap. Shocked, she stared at Katherine. "Do you feel better now? Does hitting me make you feel like you're in control?"

Katherine slapped her again, causing her to stumble backward. This time, she tasted blood. She raised her hand, touching her lip. In all their years together, Katherine had never once hit her. In fact, she couldn't remember them ever really fighting. But now, the look in Katherine's eyes scared her.

"Yes, I am always in control, Jay. Don't forget that." She pushed Jay out of the way, picking up her purse. "Yes, I slept with Jenna. It was fabulous. Something I'm sure you know nothing about. Good sex." She laughed. "And surely you don't think she was the only one, do you? There were countless others over the years. I've had many lovers. You weren't really one of them, Jay. You were never in my league, darling. You were always second-class."

To say she was stunned was an understatement. "Then why? Why did you stay?"

Katherine squared her shoulders. "I felt sorry for you, that's all. But no more. I'm done with you. I want you out of my house. I want you out of my sight."

Jay rubbed her cheek again. "All these wasted years, Katherine. I should have left you so long ago."

"Left me? That's a joke." She went to the door. "I've had enough of this. Enough of you. I can't possibly stay another three days in Hawaii. Because frankly, Jay, you do nothing but bring me down."

The door slammed hard as she left. Jay closed her eyes, her head dropping heavily to her chest. She was surprised by the stinging of tears. She wiped them away angrily. She would not shed a tear for that woman.

No, but she could cry for herself. And she did, finally sinking down onto the sofa, tears falling easily as she made no effort to stop them. Wasted years. How many affairs had Katherine had? Five? Ten?

She leaned forward, resting her arms on her knees, taking deep breaths, angry at herself for her tears. It wasn't worth it. But it still stung. How blind had she been? How trusting. It had never occurred to her that Katherine had slept around. Second-class. Yeah, that's exactly how Katherine had treated her. Never worthy.

"Why the hell did you stay eight years?" She shook her head. She had no answer. Had she stayed out of a sense of duty? Had she been hanging on to hope that a love would grow? Had she simply been content? Maybe all of those. Or maybe she stayed because she felt she wasn't worthy and was grateful Katherine wanted her. At least someone did.

She rolled her eyes at that thought. If she didn't stop, she would be attending her own pity party alone. And she neither wanted, nor needed pity.

She looked up at the rapid knocking on the door.

"Room service. Champagne."

She laughed quietly. "Champagne. How ironic." She stood, going to the door.

"Where would you like it?"

"At the bar is fine." She went to her purse, but she had no cash. She looked up apologetically. "Only plastic. I'll be sure to put a generous tip on the room tab."

He bowed politely. "Not a problem, ma'am. Thank you."

She closed the door with a grin. "Yes, Katherine will be happy to leave a large tip." She fingered the cork, nearly popping it right there in a fit of defiance. But then she dutifully took the towel he'd left and covered the top as she eased the cork out with an anticlimactic thud. She filled both of the glasses, then took one.

"Here's to me, to better days." She held the glass up in a salute before drinking. She smiled. The champagne was excellent. It was only then that she looked in the mirror behind the bar. She looked frightful. Her eyes were red and puffy, her cheek and lip swollen. "Damn." She stared in the mirror, watching her tongue come out and lightly touch her lip, the blood from the tiny cut now dry. War wounds. Oh, well. It is what it is. With that, she refilled her glass, taking it with her to the balcony. The breeze was warm, the sun having chased the clouds from the sky. It was a beautiful day and she had the room for the night. She could just stay.

But no. She didn't want to stay. She wanted to see Drew. She went back inside, getting her phone from her purse. She scrolled through her numbers, finding Eleu's. It rang six times before she picked up.

"It's me. Jay."

"Yes, Jay. Is everything fine?"

Jay laughed. "No, not fine. I'm at some hotel. Katherine left me here. I could call a cab, I suppose, but—"

"No, no. I will send Manko. Where are you?"

Jay looked around. "I'm not sure. It's two towers with a courtyard type thing between them."

"Yes, yes. You are at the Twin Palms. I will send Manko."

"Eleu? Is Drew around?"

"No. Drew and Jenna went out. An island cruise."

"Oh. I see."

"She was... she was upset, so..." her voice trailed off.

"Upset? Why?"

"You left with Katherine. You left no word with anyone."

"And she thought I... oh, no." Jay shook her head. "Katherine and I ended things. We had a... a fight. And she left."

"Are you okay?"

Jay touched her puffy cheek. "Yeah, I'm okay."

"Well, I will send Manko to get you."

"Thanks, Eleu."

She folded her phone shut and sat there quietly for a moment. Why had she just left with Katherine without telling anyone? What was she thinking? Truth was, she wasn't thinking of anything or anyone other than what she was going to talk to

Katherine about, what she wanted to tell Katherine. As it ended up, she didn't really tell Katherine anything.

Katherine had told her.

Second-class.

Jay touched her cheek again. Katherine was right about one thing. Jay certainly wasn't in her league. She'd hadn't yet been reduced to hitting.

Drew pulled the cap lower on her head and leaned back in the chair. She was brooding. She knew she was, but she couldn't seem to get the image of Jay and Katherine out of her mind. Was Katherine wooing her, as Jenna had suggested?

"Hey."

Drew slid her sunglasses down her nose, looking over the top of them at Jenna.

"You're not much fun, are you?"

Drew let out a heavy breath. "Sorry. I guess I'm not so much fun today, no."

"She got to you, huh?"

"What do you mean?"

"Jay. You spent all that time with her. You didn't do anything stupid like fall in love with her, did you?"

Drew wanted to laugh it off, but couldn't. She shoved the sunglasses back on her nose, turning her gaze to the rocky shoreline they were passing. "Yeah," she finally said. "I did something stupid."

"Seriously?"

Drew nodded. "Seriously."

Jenna nudged her arm. "No offense, but I don't think you can compete with Katherine."

"How so?"

"Well, I know you own your own business and all, but it hardly ranks with being one of the up-and-coming attorneys in the city. And, my God, you saw her house. It's a mansion. Of course, I don't know where you live. I've never seen your house. But like I said, no offense."

Drew's eyes narrowed. "What makes you think any of those things matter to Jay?"

Jenna shrugged. "Why wouldn't they? Besides, Katherine says Jay's little business is just a hobby for her, something to keep her busy. Katherine doubts she can actually make a living at it."

"You're kidding, right? She's really talented."

Jenna laughed. "Sorry. I really don't know anything about the decorating business. I only know Katherine said she wasn't good enough to decorate their own home. That should tell you something."

Drew couldn't believe Katherine was so callous. Or maybe she could. It's the same woman who had an affair with Jenna, and who now was at some fancy hotel wooing Jay. That was what she couldn't believe.

"But Jay seems really nice. Down-to-earth. And I hate to say this, but she probably deserves someone better than Katherine."

"What do you mean ?"

"I guess it took spending so much time with Katherine to learn, but she's so shallow."

Drew laughed. "You think?"

"Money, prestige... power. That's all that matters to her. She wasn't like that when I knew her in college. She still had scruples back then. Now, all she talks about is screwing over the firm she works for, how she's going to take their clients with her when she starts her own firm."

"Do attorneys have scruples?"

"I like to think I do." She shrugged. "She wants me to come work for her. The money would be great, but do I really want her for a boss? She's ruthless."

"Even after all this, she still wants you to work for her?"

Jenna nodded. "Our affair was just that, nothing more. There were no emotional strings, you know." Jenna paused. "Even though I hate where I am now, I'm just not sure I want to subject myself to all that."

They were quiet for a moment, then Jenna nudged her arm again. "So, you fell in love with her, huh?"

Drew smiled. "Afraid so."

"Yeah. You'd make a cute couple." Jenna grinned. "How does Jay feel about you?"

If she'd been asked this question last night—or even this morning—she'd have had an answer. But now? She sighed. "I'm not really sure."

But that was a lie, wasn't it? I'm going to love you to death. She closed her eyes for a second, remembering Jay's words, hoping they were true.

Jay paused outside the cottage, hearing Katherine's angry voice. It sounded like she was arguing with the airline. Jay raised her eyebrows. So when Katherine said she couldn't stay in Hawaii for another three days, she apparently meant it.

Good.

But, after consuming nearly half a bottle of very expensive champagne, Jay's only wish was to slip into a swimsuit and relax by the pool. Where hopefully Carlos was on duty. So she pushed open the door, ignoring Katherine who was talking—yelling— animatedly on the phone. She closed the door to the bedroom, not really surprised to see Katherine's luggage spread out on the bed. That, too, she ignored as she quickly shed her clothes and pulled on the red one-piece she had yet to wear. She found the matching wind shorts, slipped them over her suit and grabbed a towel.