“Those people should be put in jail for letting those boys do that.” In fact, one of the youths had been stomped, a boy of twelve, but he was on his feet again within a few minutes. Zoe and the others had been watching closely.

But in spite of some of the barbarism, and the sheer hokiness, Tanya had to admit she loved it, it was everything she had always loved as a child. And as they left, the others couldn't believe the number of people who asked for autographs on the way out, who snapped her picture, and tried to touch her. But the grand marshal had very kindly sent the security and the real police over to her, anticipating that, and she managed to get back to the bus without any real problems. There were still about fifty people standing outside the bus when they left, waving and shouting, and running alongside the bus as it drove away. It was an amazing phenomenon. It was the adoration that always came before the hatred. If she stayed long enough, they would have torn her limb from limb, in order to get a piece of her or maybe some lunatic would really hurt her. It was the kind of atmosphere that always made her very nervous in crowds, or out in public.

“Tanya, you're amazing,” Hartley said to her as they pulled away. He was filled with admiration. She was gracious to everyone, while still maintaining her dignity, and trying to give them what they wanted, and yet keep a reasonable distance. But through it all, one sensed constantly how precarious the balance of the crowd was. “I would be terrified of even a little crowd like that,” he said sensibly. “I'm an inveterate coward.” But she was used to doing concerts in front of as many as seventy-five thousand. Yet even in a crowd like the one tonight, someone could easily have lost control and killed her. And she knew it. “You also have a voice straight from God,” he said. “Everyone around us was crying.”

“Me too,” Mary Stuart said, smiling,

“I always cry when you sing,” Zoe said matter-of-factly, and Tanya smiled, touched by all of them. It had been a remarkable evening, and Hartley sat with them for a while when they went back, and then he and Mary Stuart took a walk, and he brought her back around eleven-thirty. They had stood in the moonlight for ages kissing, and Tanya and Zoe thought they were cute and incredibly romantic.

“What do you think will happen?” Tanya asked Zoe as they sat in the living room, talking.

“It would be nice for her if things worked out with him, but it's hard to tell. I have the feeling in a place like this it's a little bit like a shipboard romance. And I'm not sure she's worked it all out in her head with Bill yet.” It was astute of Zoe to notice.

“He's been such a bastard to her all year, I hope she leaves him,” Tanya said, sounding harder than usual, but she was angry at Bill, and she felt sorry for Mary Stuart.

“But he's been in pain too.” Zoe was more familiar with the strain a death in the family put on otherwise decent people. It turned some of them into saints, others into monsters. And Bill Walker had definitely been the latter.

Zoe was going to say something about Tanya's wrangler too, but Mary Stuart came in then, beaming.

“Are we allowed to check for beard burn?” Tanya asked, reminiscent of school, and they all collapsed in laughter.

“God, I'd forgotten what that is,” Mary Stuart laughed, and then turned to Tanya. “You were unbelievable tonight, Tan. Better than ever. I've never heard you like that.”

“It was fun. That's the good part. I always love the singing.”

“Well, you give a lot of people a great deal of pleasure,” Mary Stuart said kindly.

They chatted for a little while, and Mary Stuart and Zoe went to bed, and Tanya decided to stay in the living room reading. She was still exhilarated from the rodeo, and her brief performance, and just after midnight, she heard a soft tapping on the window. She thought it was an animal outside at first, and then she looked up and saw a flash of green shirt, and then a face smiling at her like a mischievous boy. It was Gordon. And she grinned when she saw him. She wondered if in some instinctive part of her she had been waiting for him. The thought crossed her mind as she slipped quietly out to see him. It was chilly outside, and she was still wearing her velvety suedes, and she was barefoot.

“Shhh!” He put a finger to his lips, but she hadn't been about to call his name. She had already guessed that he could get in a lot of trouble for being there at that hour, with her. His cottage was down behind the stables.

“What are you doing here?” she whispered, and he beamed at her. He was as excited as she was.

“I don't know. I think I'm crazy. Maybe almost as crazy as you are.” It was as though he had known her forever. And he would never forget what she had done for him that night, or the voice with which she sang it.

“You were great,” she said, smiling at him. “Congratulations. You won.”

“Thank you,” he said proudly. It mattered to him. A lot. And just as she had, he said he had done it for her. It was his gift to Tanny, as he called her. It made her seem less like Tanya Thomas.

“I know you did.” He was standing next to a tree as she talked to him, and he suddenly leaned against it and pulled her toward him.

“I don't know what I'm doing here. I'm crazy. I could get fired for this.”

“I don't want you to get hurt,” she said honestly, standing close to him, hoping no one would see them.

“I don't want you to get hurt either.” And then he frowned, looking at her. He had never been as afraid as he was that night, not for himself, but for her, when the crowd engulfed her when she left him. “I was terrified… I was so afraid someone might hurt you.”

“They might one day,” she said sorrowfully, it came with the territory for her, and she accepted it. Almost. “It could happen.” She tried to sound casual about it, but she wasn't.

“I don't want anything bad to happen to you. Ever.” And then he surprised himself with what he said, “I wish I could be there to protect you.”

“You can't all the time. Someone could get me coming out of my house any morning, or onstage at a concert. Or at a supermarket.” She smiled philosophically, but he looked unhappy.

“You should have guards around you all the time.” He would have kept her locked in the house, anything to protect her,

“I don't want to live like that, only when I have to,” she whispered. “I'm pretty good in a crowd, as long as they don't go crazy.”

“The police said there were more than a hundred people running after you when you left tonight… that scared me…”

“I'm fine,” she smiled at him. “You're in a lot of danger on those crazy broncos. Maybe you ought to think about that instead of my fans,” she said, as he pulled her still closer and she didn't resist him. She didn't want to resist him, she wanted to melt into him, to be part of him, and as he looked at her he could think of nothing but her face, her eyes, the woman he had discovered behind the legend.

“Oh God, Tanny,” he whispered into her hair. “I don't know what I'm doing…” He had been so afraid of her, of being blown away by her, or impressed, but he had never expected this, this avalanche of feelings. And as she put her arms around him, he kissed her as he had kissed no other woman. He was forty-two years old, and in his whole life, he had never felt for a woman what he did for this one. And in less than two weeks now she'd be gone, and he'd wonder if it ever happened. “Tell me I'm not crazy,” he said, looking down at her after he kissed her. “Except that I know I am.” He looked both miserable and ecstatic all at once, victorious and defeated, but she was just as wildly enamored as he was.

“We both are,” she said gently. “I don't know what's happening to me either.” It was like a tidal wave that just wouldn't stop and he kissed her again and again, and all she wanted to do was make love with him and they both knew they shouldn't.

“What are we doing?” He looked down and asked her. And then he wanted to know something he hadn't even thought to ask her. “Are you married? Do you have someone… a boyfriend?” If she did, he was going to stop now, even if it killed him, but she shook her head and kissed him again.

“I'm getting divorced. It's already filed. And there's no one else.” And then she looked at him, it was as though there never had been. And she suspected that if Gordon had been there instead of Bobby Joe, they would still be married.

“That's all I wanted to know. We can figure out the rest later. Maybe there will be no ‘rest.’ But I didn't want to play games if you were married or something.”

“I don't do that,” she said softly. “I've never done this before… I don't care what they say about singers or movie stars… I've never fallen head over heels like this.” In fact, she had married the men she'd cared for. She was actually pretty square. But what she felt now for him was almost too much to handle. And then she thought of him and the possible repercussions. “You have to be very careful so no one knows. I don't want you to get in trouble.” He nodded, not really caring. He had been at the ranch for three years, and he was the head wrangler at the corral, but he would have gladly given it all up for her, if she'd asked him.

“Tanny,” he said, holding her close to him, running his hands through her incredible hair and kissing her again and again. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” she whispered, feeling more than a little crazy. Neither of them had any idea what they would do about it, if anything, but for the moment, it was more than a little overwhelming. He didn't even want to think about what he was doing.

“Will you come back to the rodeo on Saturday?”

“Sure.” She smiled at him, wishing she could sit on the bronc pen with him.

“Don't sing again. I don't want you to get hurt,” he whispered.

“I won't,” she whispered back, still leaning against the tree with him.

“I mean it.” He looked genuinely worried about her. She had marched right into his heart three days before, as though she belonged there.

“Then don't ride the broncs,” she teased, but she didn't mean it. She knew he had to, for the moment. Maybe later, he would stop it. If there was a later between them. But how could that happen? They both knew it couldn't.

“I'm going to worry about you now all the time,” he said unhappily.

“Don't. Let's trust fate a little bit. It brought us together. It's a complete fluke I'm even here… why don't we just see what happens. Life is funny like that.”

“You're funny, and I love you.” He smiled and kissed her.

They stood there for a long time and kissed and talked. He had a day off on Sunday and wanted to go exploring with her. She offered to take him in the bus, but he just wanted to take her out in his truck, and show her the places he loved, and she agreed to go with him. She had to figure out what to tell the others. She didn't really want to discuss it with them. There was something so magical about what was happening to them, she wanted to keep it private.

“I'll see you tomorrow,” he whispered finally, but he couldn't imagine not being able to kiss her the next day, or put his arms around her, but they both knew he couldn't. Maybe he could come back the next night, and go for a walk with her, late like this, but she didn't want him to get in trouble. The ranch management frowned on romances between guests and wranglers, although everyone knew it sometimes happened. But he swore it had never happened to him. He had never done anything like it. And ail he could tell himself was that, for a virgin, he had hit the jackpot.

She stood in the doorway and watched him go. He was silent and quick, and he disappeared into the darkness almost the instant he left her. It was after two o'clock by then, and they had been out there for nearly two hours, talking and kissing. And when Tanya went inside, she jumped when she heard a sound. She had thought they were asleep, but it was Zoe putting the kettle on in the kitchen. She looked green and she had a blanket around her. She didn't tell Tanya, but she had raging diarrhea.

“Are you okay?” Tanya asked as soon as she came in, wondering how she would explain what she was doing outside, but she didn't have to. Zoe had guessed, and didn't press her about it. “You look sick.”

“I'm all right,” she said unconvincingly, and Tanya could see that she was shaking from head to foot, and she was really worried.

“Zoe?” Tanya looked at her with wide, worried eyes, and Zoe just shook her head. She didn't want to talk about it. “Go to bed, I'll make your tea for you.” Zoe went back to bed gratefully, and Tanya came in with a cup of mint tea a few minutes later. Zoe was still shaking but she looked a little better. Tanya handed Zoe the mug, and sat down on the edge of the bed. “What's happening?” she asked, looking worried.