“When you tell me it doesn’t matter I start to think I wasn’t very important to you at all,” she confessed. Her gaze settled somewhere in the center of his chest. She tucked a few loose curls behind her ear and tried to smile. “Silly, huh? It was a long time ago. But it’s weird to think you’ve forgotten it all so easily.”

Without realizing what he was going to do, he reached out and grabbed her upper arms. “What do you want from me, Katie? To know that having you walk away ripped out my guts? That I almost didn’t make it without you?” He shook her slightly. “Guess what? I did make it, because no matter how dramatic it seems at nineteen, no one dies of a broken heart.”

Her eyes sparkled, and for a moment he thought she might be fighting tears. “I know,” she whispered. “I’m being silly. It’s just after all this time, I’m sorry you weren’t my first. Dumb, huh?”

Dumb and wonderful and Lord almighty, how had she known exactly where to stick the knife? He felt the sharp blade slide between his ribs with a surgeon’s precision.

“I wish things had been different,” she went on as if she couldn’t see the bleeding. “I wish you remembered it the way I did and that it had been important to you the way it had been important to me.”

He released her because her warmth burned him. He looked away, at the barn that had fascinated her earlier. “Why is that so important?” he asked. “We were wrong for each other then and we’d be wrong for each other now.”

“I’m not looking for a relationship, either.”

“Then why are you digging up bones?”

“Because I have questions.”

He returned his attention to her beautiful face. Her blue eyes were dark in the porch light, glinting wide pools, and he found himself poised to dive in.

“You always were fearless,” he told her. “That hasn’t changed, has it?”

“I hope not. Sometimes I get scared, but I do whatever it is anyway. I think it’s because-”

Later he would tell himself he wasn’t sure who reached for whom. But his gut knew the truth. He knew he was the one who grabbed her arms again, but not to shake her. Instead he drew her close. But she reacted so quickly, hugging him, sliding against him in a heartbeat, that he was nearly able to convince himself they’d acted in tandem.

One minute she was talking and the next his mouth came down on hers. Lips touched, bodies pressed and the explosion sent them into a time warp. Suddenly it was eleven years ago and they were young and in love and close to dying if they didn’t kiss one more time. He could feel the warm nestling of her breasts against his chest. Her scent was familiar, as was her heat. Her lips tasted exactly as he remembered, only better, if that were possible.

He told himself to back off, to stop it, to end what was obviously insanity, but he couldn’t. He could only hold her close and brush her bottom lip with his tongue.

She parted for him instantly. Parted and breathed his name. He swept inside her, taking a familiar path of exploration. Need thundered through him, arousing him, making him want with a power he’d never experienced before. He touched her back, her sides, her face, wanting to know all of her. She returned his caresses. Her small, sure hands moved across his shoulders, then down his spine.

Somehow he managed to shift until he was under her and she was straddling his lap. Her feminine heat rested on his arousal, but it wasn’t enough. He wanted more-he wanted it all. Her. Katie. Naked, willing, ready in every way possible.

She wrapped her arms around his neck. The kiss deepened. He was so close, he had a sudden terrifying thought that he was going to lose control, like some teenager. He cupped her face, because touching her anywhere else was too dangerous. His thumbs brushed across her cheeks. His fingers buried themselves in her hair. She breathed his name again. Her voice was thick with desire.

“I want you,” he murmured.

She slid against him, riding his hardness. “I know the feeling.”

“We could-”

But he never said what they could do. Before he finished the sentence, the sound of childish laughter reminded him who she was and where they were. Her son was in the house, as were his mother and sister.

Katie must have heard the laughter, too, because she scrambled off him and stood staring at him, her mouth swollen, her face flushed, her expression stunned. Her chest rose and fell in time with her rapid breaths.

He didn’t know what to think, let alone say. So he did what was easy. He got to his feet and left without saying a word.

By midnight Katie figured out she wasn’t going to get a lot of sleep. After lying in bed for an hour, she’d tried drinking warm milk and listening to soft music. Unfortunately she was still tense, her mind whirling in a thousand different directions.

Jack had kissed her. Really, passionately kissed her. She’d known she’d been attracted to him over the past couple of weeks, but she hadn’t realized that her body had reached a point of such incredible longing. Just the feel of his mouth on hers had been enough to make her resolve about going it alone crumble. She’d wanted to be with him in the most intimate way possible. She didn’t care about their confusing past, her complicated present or the lack of any mutual future. She didn’t want to talk about what was sensible or right. She didn’t want to talk at all. If she hadn’t heard her son’s laugh, who knows what she might have done.

Katie paced to the window of her bedroom and stared into the night. She acknowledged the unfortunate truth of the situation. She knew exactly what she would have done. If Jack hadn’t stopped her, she would have made love with him right there on the porch.

“Talk about a complication,” she murmured. Ignoring the fact that they could have been caught by an assortment of people, what on earth had she been thinking? She didn’t need or want a man in her life. At least she hadn’t thought that she did. After all, she’d sworn off the gender for the next eight or nine years. So why were her thighs on fire and her hands trembling at the thought of being close to and kissing Jack Darby?

It was crazy, she told herself. Worse, it was dangerous. Jack had always had the power to hurt her, and she doubted that had changed. Time might have given her life experiences and a bit more wisdom, but she didn’t think it had toughened her heart. Besides, she didn’t just have herself to think about. She didn’t have to be a psychology expert to realize that her son was getting a serious case of hero worship where Jack was concerned. Getting romantically involved with the man would only make Shane vulnerable. Something she absolutely didn’t want.

Katie rested her forehead against the cool glass of her window. She felt restless and confused. Why had his kiss been so amazing? Why couldn’t she have been left cold by his touch? She’d never considered herself very wild, sexually. While she enjoyed the act, she didn’t ache to make love. Except now she found herself nearly vibrating from need. The tension and the wanting were both uncomfortable and unfamiliar.

And why, if she finally had to discover this part of herself, did it have to be with Jack? They were completely wrong for each other in a million different ways. She paused then closed her eyes when she realized she couldn’t come up with a single one. Except for the ongoing problem between their families, she and Jack actually had a lot in common.

“This is not good news,” she murmured with a sigh. “Remember what happened last time you tried to let a man in your life.”

Good point, she thought. Zach had been a doctor at one of the hospitals where she’d worked in Dallas. He’d been handsome, charming, patient and she’d thought they might have a future together. He got along with Shane, and while her son wasn’t wildly enthused about her boyfriend, he didn’t make trouble. But even after several months of dating Zach, Katie had known something was wrong. The problem was she hadn’t been able to put her finger on the exact issue. She and Zach couldn’t seem to get emotionally close. Then Zach had told her why.

Katie turned from the window and walked to her bed. She settled onto the mattress and tried to relax. But even with the covers pulled up to her chin, she found herself shivering. She wasn’t sure if it was the temperature in the room or her memories. Maybe both.

Because while Zach had told her he loved her and wanted to marry her, he’d also told her that he wasn’t interested in raising another man’s child. Katie still recalled the perfection of the white linen on Zach’s kitchen table. He’d invited her over to his place for dinner and, as he’d requested, she’d left Shane with a sitter. Zach had carefully spelled out his plans for their lives. His practice in Dallas grew bigger each year. He wanted them to buy a large house in an exclusive neighborhood and have two children of their own. He talked about country club memberships, luxury vacations, her own Mercedes. Then he’d pulled out a beautiful diamond engagement ring. There was only one catch-he wanted Shane to go live with her parents.

“Our marriage won’t stand a chance,” he’d said so calmly, she’d thought he couldn’t possibly be saying what she thought she heard. “A child from a previous marriage creates division between the natural parent and the stepparent. Plus what about the child we want to have together?” What it came down to was him or Shane.

Katie wasn’t as shocked by what he proposed as she was by the realization she’d never known him. How could she have dated this man for nearly a year, made love with him and even thought about marrying him when all the time he’d been planning fifty ways to get rid of her son?

She explained that if he was asking her to choose, there wasn’t a choice. Shane was her life. She’d left Zach that day and had never once regretted the decision. But what hadn’t been so easy to put behind her was the realization that she’d made such a terrible mistake. Marrying on the rebound at eighteen was one thing. She understood how it had happened and she’d learned from the experience. But this was different. She’d been ten years older and, in theory, ten years wiser. So why had she screwed up again?

So far her record in the male department was pretty dismal, which meant her decision to avoid entanglements until Shane was older and less likely to be hurt was a good one.

Katie stared at the ceiling. Nothing was as she thought it would be, she admitted to herself. She’d thought moving back to Lone Star Canyon would give Shane the extended family he needed to continue to develop into a happy, healthy adult. She’d assumed telling herself she wasn’t interested in a relationship with a man meant that she wouldn’t even be attracted to one. She’d thought it would all be so much easier here.

She’d been wrong on every count. Worse, she found herself caught up in an attraction to a man who had once broken her heart. The irony was, Jack was the best man she’d ever known, heartbreaker or not. He was the benchmark by which all the other men in her life had been measured, and every one of them had come up short.

He wasn’t her destiny. They could never make a relationship between them work. As far as she could tell, he wasn’t interested in her except possibly as a temporary sexual partner. Which left her wide-awake and staring at the ceiling. So much for the thought that coming home after all this time would be easy. Now what was she supposed to do?

Chapter Six

Jack poured coffee into his mother’s mug and then his own. They were having breakfast together. It was nearly eight-thirty, and he’d been up since six.

Hattie sipped the hot liquid and smiled. “I’m getting spoiled. Once I’m back to normal, I don’t think I’m going to like getting up before the sun.”

“There’s no reason for you to wake up early,” Jack pointed out. “It’s not like you have kids to get ready for school or ranch hands to feed.”

“All true,” she admitted. “But I’ve spent my life on a ranch, and getting up early is part of the routine.”

Morning sun poured through the big windows. Hattie was in a robe, with her hair in a braid. He could see the lines on her face more clearly when she wasn’t wearing any makeup, but she was still a lovely woman. Yet she’d chosen to live her entire life on the ranch.

“Did you ever want anything else?” he asked her suddenly. “A different world than this?”

She looked around the kitchen. They’d remodeled it just two years ago. Hattie had picked out the colors and the appliances. Jack didn’t care what she did with the house. He had his own place on the other side of the barn. Besides, it wasn’t as if he was going to bring a bride back who would want to put her own touches on the old house.