Her fingers came up to her mouth. No crying, she told herself firmly. No being selfish in front of Maddie or Ty, who had both suffered far more in their lives than she ever had.
"Zoe." It was Ty, speaking gently, with a warm, caring tone she couldn't handle. He'd come close and put a hand on her arm, but if she let him so much as touch her, she'd fall apart. And this time, she'd never be able to put herself back together. "No, I'm fine. Fine."
"Zoe, sweetheart, please. Let me-"
"No." It was the endearment that did it, for she suddenly knew the truth from the emotion blaring out of his eyes.
He loved her. God, what would she do now? Unable to stand it, she turned from him.
Her parents were dead, and they'd been dead all those years she'd harbored bitterness and resentment at them for deserting her. Guilt hit, stabbing at her for every negative, mean thought she'd ever had.
Ty was right behind her, not touching her, but she felt his presence in every fiber of her being as he silently gave her his strength. Maddie, too. "I just… need a moment," she said, staring into the lush meadow before her.
She was truly an orphan, always had been, but not because she'd been deserted on purpose.
She wasn't Constance's heir.
And Ty loved her, the real her.
But how was that possible when she didn't even know who that her was? Ty was still right there, so was Maddie, and they were clearly worried sick. "Please," she whispered. "I need a moment alone."
"No," Ty and Maddie said at the same time.
Ty reached for her, drew her slowly and steadily into the circle of his arms, undeterred when she struggled. "Shh," he said, holding her to his chest.
Maddie stroked her back.
"I want to be alone, you know." But she clung to him.
"Sorry," Ty murmured. "But not ever again."
She kept resisting, kept pushing, to no avail. And a small part of her was so very grateful.
With the sun overhead and Maddie and Ty holding her, Zoe stopped struggling and closed her eyes, absorbing their love.
Chapter 17
"All right, that about wraps it up, then," Zoe said, addressing the group in front of her. "Any questions?"
She sat on a log in front of the place they'd held their "truth or dare" bonfire a couple of weeks ago. Around her sat Maddie, Delia and the three ranch hands they'd hired for their fall season.
Cade was there, too, he'd come up twice in the past week, both times to offer Zoe as much support and information he could. He was still determined to figure out which of the two remaining sisters was Constance's heir.
Ty watched the informal staff meeting, both annoyed at and proud of the woman sitting there so stoically.
He wanted, as he'd wanted all week, ever since she had gotten the news of her parents, to shake the hell out of her. Shake her until she broke, until she started to deal with everything going on in her head. Until she let it all out.
Then he wanted to yank her close, bury his face in her hair and never let go.
He was losing it big time.
"So we work in twelve-hour shifts?" This from Cliff, who had practically begged Ty to be switched from Ty's ranch to Triple M. Not that he hadn't enjoyed his work at Ty's ranch, but he was excited at the prospect of working with people.
"Yes," Zoe said. "Long days, I know, but you'll only be on four days a week. Thursday through Sunday for now."
"What about if reservations pick up?" Red asked. He had come from a neighboring ranch, a huge man, with a loud, boisterous voice and a quick sense of humor to match his carrot-colored hair. He was also an excellent worker who came greatly recommended.
Zoe smiled at his question, though only Ty knew by its brittle edges that it didn't come from the heart. "Not if, Red. When." Laughter erupted. "And when we get too busy, we'll reevaluate the schedule. We'll decide whether to open more days or just be more picky about who we let in."
Ty would bet on the first. He knew Zoe's drive, knew she held high hopes for a booming, reputable guest ranch that people would talk about from all over the States.
Which was fine; he wanted that, too. But what he wanted even more was Zoe's joy back. Her zest for life, the one she had just been beginning to nurture.
"I don't know about you guys," Delia said dryly to everyone. "But I like that schedule. Three days off to play."
"I look at it the opposite." Maddie sighed with pleasure and clear joy. "Four days in which to be in that kitchen all day, concocting huge meals for people who will be starving."
Ty smiled in spite of himself. Delia and Maddie had dealt with Zoe, mothering and fussing over her. He remembered when he had been part of a unit that tight. When Ben had guessed his every move, had anticipated his every word. When he'd been loved.
It was over now. Ben was gone, and Ty had accepted that. Finally.
But he wanted love again. Wanted to both give and receive it. And looking at the petite, auburn-haired beauty who had made him feel this way, he wished he could have it with her.
The small staff dispersed. Delia and Maddie and Zoe all hugged, then Delia and Maddie set off toward the house.
Zoe stood still, alone in the circle, staring off into the mountains.
Ty came up behind her, knowing he was giving her one more chance to shove him away, but unable to help himself. "That went well," he said.
She shrugged.
He swore.
She glanced at him over her shoulder, her expression frighteningly flat. "Is something wrong?"
"Yes, something's wrong." Pain blazed out of her eyes and broke his heart. "You're what's wrong."
"Ty… not now." She walked away from him with a shake of her head, gasping in surprise when he hauled her back.
"That's it," he muttered, pulling her along, stirring dirt up as she dragged her heels, not stopping until they were at his truck. "Get in."
She crossed her arms over her chest. "I have work-" His short oath told her what he thought of that. "Get in." Leaning past her, he opened the driver's door, not so gently pushing her in, climbing in after her before she could fight him.
"Where are we going?" The peal of the tires in the dirt and the quick acceleration of the truck had her leaning back in the seat, in a deceptive pose of acquiescence.
But Ty didn't let down his guard. He knew if he slowed down, she would be out of the truck in a flash and back out of his life.
He'd had enough of that. It was a gamble, a huge one, and if he lost, he'd lose everything. But he couldn't stand back and not take the chance.
"Ty-"
"Zip it for a moment, Zoe." Tense, he took the off-road path outside his ranch, the path intended for horses only. He knew exactly how far he could take the truck, knew exactly where he was going, and nothing was going to stop him.
Five minutes later he pulled off the trail into a small clearing. He got out of the truck, reached in and grabbed a small blanket, which he tucked under one arm. With the other, he pulled out Zoe, who came very reluctantly.
"Ty, please. I-"
"Come on." Tugging her not all that kindly, he led the way. They were minutes away from the deepest canyon on the North American continent, surrounded by the most amazing, spectacular scenery in the world, but Ty was blind to everything but the stubborn woman beside him. The path quickly became single-tracked, but he didn't let go of her hand, providing support when the nearly nonexistent path climbed sharply.
He heard Zoe huffing behind him and he smiled grimly. Good. An out-of-breath Zoe couldn't talk. Or complain.
Ten minutes later the terrain suddenly evened out. They were standing on a plateau.
"This is ridiculous," she grumbled. "I have a thousand things to do-"
"Look around you." Grimly he dropped the blanket and turned her, his hands firm on her shoulders when she would have jerked away. "Look, dammit. Look and then tell me what you see."
The glance she shot him was full of daggers, but she didn't waste any more breath. She looked.
And gasped.
Then raced to the edge of the cliff they stood on and let out a soft sigh. "Oh. Oh, it's beautiful."
Far below them was the valley where their ranches lay. Beyond that, greens meshed with golds, which meshed with more green. The view was spectacular. Oregon, Washington, Montana and Idaho, all four states visible in all their mind-boggling glory.
Awe-inspiring.
And, Ty hoped, irresistible. "What do you see?" he repeated.
She bit her lip and stared. Looking as if a good wind could knock her over. He backed off for a moment and spread out the blanket. "Come here."
She sank to the blanket beside him, her eyes riveted to the view. A huge, soul-shattering sigh escaped her.
"Well?"
"I see… a place I wanted to be mine. But it's not, not really." She hesitated, closing her eyes, hiding. "I wanted it be home, Ty. I wanted that so much."
"You still haven't figured out the truth. It's right before your eyes and you won't even see it."
"I don't know what you're talking about." She seemed to fold into herself, shoulders hunched as she knelt on the blanket as far from him as she could get.
It hurt, watching her hurt. "It's simple," he told her. "Open your eyes, Zoe, and face it." Unable to hold back, he grabbed her shoulders and made her do just that. "Look, dammit, and face the fact that you are home." He added a little shake for good measure, then whipped her around so he could see her pale face. "God, Zoe, get a clue. It doesn't matter whose name is on the deed of Triple M. It doesn't matter what your birth certificate says your last name is."
"Doesn't matter?" She tried to shove him away, but he wasn't going to budge. "Maybe to you, a man from nowhere and no one, it doesn't matter. You don't care about who and what your parents were, but I-"
"I never said I didn't care. My mother was a whore, and when she wasn't having men over behind my father's back she liked to drink. My father hated being tied down by his kids. He liked to use his belt to prove the point. He got himself killed in prison on his tenth visit and I was glad. Glad, Zoe. I lived in the streets with my brother for more years than I want to remember, starving and fighting and stealing to survive, so don't you ever tell me I don't care where I came from."
She'd stopped shoving at him at his first words, so it surprised him when he tried to pull away and she reversed their roles, gripping his shirt in two tight fists. "Ty-God, I'm sorry."
"I care where I came from, Zoe. It's molded me, maybe even dictated who I am today. But I don't use it as an excuse to waste away the life that was given to me. And it makes me sick to watch you do that very thing."
She held on to him with voracious strength, even when he tried again to pull away. Surprising him, she dropped her forehead to his chest and shook her head. "I feel so stupid when you put it like that."
"Not stupid." He caved in, wrapping his arms around her slight figure as he'd wanted to do for so long. "Mule-headed, most definitely."
With a little laugh, she snuggled closer, tucking her head beneath his chin as if she belonged there. As if she'd always belonged there. His heart surged in his chest so painfully he couldn't speak.
"I'm sorry, Ty."
"You scared me this week," he said when he could, his voice husky with emotion. "So stoic. I was unprepared for that, for what it would feel like to watch you calmly nod at the destruction of your dreams. To watch you refuse to talk about it, watch you continue to work, so silently destroyed."
Her arms tightened around his neck.
"I was so desperate I nearly begged Delia and Maddie to sell me the land just so I could give it to you."
She froze, then lifted her head. "That's crazy."
"Well, Slim, that's what I am. Crazy."
"For me." She stared at him, startled. "Why? I can't figure that out."
"Neither can I most of the time."
He was teasing her, and she didn't seem to know how to take that. So he dragged her onto his lap. "It's not really a logical thing, Zoe. It's more like a heart thing. A 'just because' thing. Because I can no longer picture my life without you. I love the way you look at me when you think I'm not looking back. Because I love the way you love your sisters with everything you've got, even though you doubt and mistrust that very love. And I think you're the smartest, sweetest, most passionate woman I've ever known." He paused. "Should I go on?"
She was baffled, touched, frightened. "I don't know what to do with you."
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