He spanked her a few times, drawing more eager, hungry moans from her, then went back to finger fucking her. “You’re the only one she’s ever fantasized about. No one else.” He laughed. “Well, she went through a James Spader phase after we saw Secretary for the first time but that’s different. I don’t think that counts.”

Seth brushed the hair away from her face and carefully pulled it back, holding it out of her way. She looked up at him and winked.

His heart flipped inside his chest.

I love you.

He wanted to say it to her. He couldn’t bring himself to say it. Not with Kaden sitting right there. Maybe he had to share her for now, maybe he’d even quickly grow to enjoy sharing her. But damn it, he wanted one thing to be his alone, one milestone in their relationship where he didn’t have to share her with anyone and could have a guilt-free moment with her.

I love you, Leah.

Kaden alternated spanking her and finger fucking her. In a few minutes, her moans changed tempo and sound again. She laved Seth’s cock even more eagerly. He quit trying to hold back. She wanted it…she got it. He closed his eyes and stroked her hair, rocking his hips in time with her mouth. He moaned when he came, and Kaden picked up the tempo of her spanking. She screamed around him, finally releasing his limp cock from her mouth as she climaxed.

When she finished, Kaden grabbed her, sat her up in his lap with her back to him, and quickly fucked her. He must have been rock hard with her squirming against him all that time. It only took a few strokes for him to finish.

She relaxed against him, her eyes closed and a satisfied smile on her face. Kaden’s arms circled her waist and he kissed her shoulder.

“Are you okay?” he asked her.

She nodded.

Seth realized he was still sitting there watching them with his dick hanging out. He reddened and started fumbling his shorts. Leah leaned over and kissed him, hard.

“Thank you,” she whispered.

“Um. Yeah. Thank you, too.” He went to his bedroom and closed the door behind him, leaning against it for a moment to catch his breath.

Day-amn.

* * *

Seth didn’t emerge from his bedroom again that night. Early the next morning, he arose at dawn and slipped out of the house to go running. He’d spent a restless night dreaming about the feel of Leah’s lips around him and imagining how it would feel sliding his cock into her.

Daylight crept up on him. The light changed from deep shadowy purple to grey, then finally the reds and oranges of a fiery Florida sunrise, dappled golden patches of warmth striking him between the shoulders as he ran.

He punished himself, a blistering pace that finally forced him to stop on the other end of the development to catch his breath. He stretched, did some push-ups, and walked in circles to cool down.

The sound of Leah as she came with his cock in her mouth.

Fuck.

He was an evil asshole for wanting her all to himself, wasn’t he? Especially when it seemed to make his two friends happy every time he gave another inch in this debate.

Especially when—

kaden’sdying

There were no fucking manuals for shit like this.

He circled the entire development three times but avoided passing the house. By the time he couldn’t run anymore he knew he’d gone at least eight miles. The sun was fully up, probably closing in on nine o’clock. Heat had started filtering through the trees and displacing the cooler oases of shadows under the live oaks.

His body drenched in sweat, he quietly let himself in through the front door and returned to his room. He didn’t hear or see them.

He debated locking his bedroom door, then hesitated. It would hurt Leah’s feelings if he did. He sensed that.

What if she didn’t come in?

That would hurt his feelings.

Fuck.

If he locked his door, he wouldn’t know if she tried to come in.

He turned and looked at his bed. It was already made. At some point she had come in. What had she thought when she found he wasn’t there?

He left it unlocked.

He stood under the spray and tried to quiet his mind. That was when he heard the bathroom door open and quietly shut.

Seth didn’t open his eyes. His heart hammered in his chest.

He sensed more than heard the shower door open. He felt a brief draft of cool air as Leah stepped inside with him.

Then her hesitant touch, her arms sliding around his waist from behind.

Seth turned and enveloped her in his arms, pressing his lips to the top of her head. He stood with her like that for several long moments, neither of them speaking.

Kaden’s words reverberated in his brain. It was for her, to make her happy.

He wanted to make her happy.

He looked into her face and kissed her forehead. Then he gently pushed her away and gave her the signal.

She dropped to her knees and eagerly swallowed his cock. He cupped the back of her head with one hand and braced himself against the shower wall with the other as she worked him over with her mouth and hands. When he came she grabbed his ass and held his hips tight against her face until she knew she’d sucked every last drop from him. She finally released him and rested her face against his abs.

Seth sank to his knees and held her again, hiding his quiet tears from her by keeping his face buried in her hair.

Sensing something was wrong, she wrapped her arms tightly around him and held him.

He hated that he was so fucking weak, to lose it like this, especially in front of her. How was he going to be strong enough for her when she really needed him?

After?

“It’s okay, Seth,” she whispered, changing position so she could hold him. She pressed his face against her chest and stroked his hair.

He hated himself but didn’t move. “Forty goddamned years,” he whispered. “Since we were fucking babies.”

“I know.”

Who was he kidding? Kaden wasn’t his oldest friend—he was his only true friend. His best friend. He had acquaintances and drinking buddies and guys he kept in touch with that he’d served with in Iraq and Germany. He had professional associates from when he was a contractor.

Then he had Kaden.

Okay, that wasn’t true. He had Kaden and Leah. When he came home from overseas and met her, it was like she completed their friendship. He’d never felt like the odd man out with them.

He talked to Kaden not every day but several times a week at least, before all this happened. Whether he called Kade or Kade called him, just to chat.

Or to ask his advice on something.

To share good news.

To commiserate about the bad.

Or just to say hi.

He usually ate at their house at least one night a week, sometimes more. If he was in the neighborhood he could stop by, and if Leah was home they sat and chatted or she insisted on making him lunch if he hadn’t eaten. He and Kade always had their night out alone every week.

His friend.

And he was dying.

She gently rocked him, stroked his hair. “You have to let it out,” she whispered. “You can’t hold it in. It’ll eat you alive from the inside out. It’s okay. I want you to lean on me right now. I know you two are trying to make this as easy on me as you can, but right now, I’m strong enough to be there for you. Let me do this for you while I can. I won’t always be able to.”

He sobbed. He didn’t know if he cried five minutes or an hour, but she wrapped her arms around him, murmured soothing words to him, held him tightly against her. He wanted to curl up and die.

kaden’sdyingkaden’sdyingkaden’sdying

Every step he took toward fulfilling her dream made his nightmare that much more real.

When one of the redneck assholes in their junior class tried to jump Seth at a football game one night, Kaden helped nail the fucker. Kaden always watched Seth’s back.

Kaden helped him study for finals, helped tutor him in his weaker subjects.

Kaden never teased him in a mean way. Seth could always confide in him when he had a problem, and he knew if Kaden didn’t have any advice to offer that at least he would quietly listen and provide an ear.

A safe harbor.

When Seth’s own parents died, when fucking bitch wife number two was less than comforting after she found out there wasn’t any money to inherit, it was Kaden who stepped in and quietly took over making the arrangements, making sure everything was taken care of, gently guiding Seth through the process with Leah always there to listen and help.

He finally pulled himself together. “I’m sorry,” he said hoarsely, unable to look her in the eyes.

“Why are you apologizing?”

“Because I’m supposed to be strong for you and I’m fucking bawling like a goddamned baby.”

She gently grabbed his face and made him look at her. “I would be very upset if you didn’t cry. If you didn’t show any emotion, it would worry me.”

“Why?”

“Because I know how close you are, and let’s face it, you’ve loved him longer than I have. I’m his wife, yeah. But you’re his friend. You’re closer to him than family. You’ve been through hell and back with each other over the years. You’ve seen a side of him I’ll never get to see, share things with him that I never have and never will. If this didn’t affect you, I’d seriously think about giving you a session in the playroom.” She smiled.

As her words sunk in, he laughed. He pulled her to him. “Oh, damn it, I’m such a fucking loser and you still want me. I think you’re delusional.”

“Honesty, Seth. Part of being honest is showing your emotions when you need to. This isn’t a one-sided relationship. He wasn’t kidding when he said that what we have isn’t about doing this all the time. Plenty of times it’s just…normal.”

“Naked normal.”

“Oh come on. You know you love it.”

He coarsely laughed again. “Yeah, I have to admit that part is nice.”

“Will you please take me to the club tomorrow night? It would make me happy. I know it will make him happy.”

He sighed. “Yeah. Okay.”

“You feel a little better?”

He nodded.

She brushed her lips against his and sat back so he could stand. He helped her to her feet. “I need to finish my shower before the hot water runs out.”

“French toast or pancakes?”

He smiled. “Surprise me.”

* * *

That night after dinner, Leah popped in a DVD and sat on the couch between the men.

Seth had never seen Secretary before. In some ways, it could have been Leah’s biography. Even though the story wasn’t exactly the same, it gave him yet another perspective into her mindset and helped him understand why this lifestyle was so important to her.

Halfway through the movie she slipped her hand into Seth’s lap and started rubbing his cock through his shorts. It didn’t take much to get him fully stiff. Within a few minutes they were repeating the encounter from the night before. Hot didn’t begin to describe it.

When he finally went to bed, he thought about their impending trip to the club.

He was a little surprised to find part of him eagerly anticipated it.

Anticipated being alone with Leah.

* * *

Seth spent a restless night alone. The memory of the feel of Leah’s mouth on him kept him hard for hours despite jerking off twice.

Moron. Go sleep with her.

He tried to roll over and go to sleep. By the time he stumbled out of bed the next morning, he didn’t feel like a run. He barely felt like getting out of bed, but the thought that he’d be taking Leah alone to the club that night made further sleep impossible.

He stepped into the shower after he shaved. Sure enough, a few minutes later, she joined him.

“What is that?” He pointed to the can of shaving gel and disposable razor in her hand.

“I’m going to shave you.” Her matter-of-fact tone possessed more than a little “Duh!” factor.

“Um, sweetie, I appreciate that, but already done. See?” He tapped his stubble-free chin.

She rolled her eyes. “No, Sir. I’m going to shave your body.”

“What?” He stepped back, bumping against the cool tile wall.

“Don’t you want to look your best tonight?”

“Okay, Leah. Time out, or red light, or stop sign, or what the fuck! Huh?”

She looked at him as if explaining to a child. “We’re going to the club tonight. You need to look your best.” She stepped forward. “I shave Master all the time.”