Tymber Dalton - The Reluctant Dom

“Why?”

He shrugged but didn’t look at Seth. “She needs to relax, keep her mind off things.”

Kaden didn’t need to specify what “things” he meant.

* * *

Seth eventually extricated himself and put up the “toys” they’d used for their activities. He went outside to work on the electrical system. He’d sat down with Kaden and figured out, based on his friend’s design and newly added lights and accessories, what he’d need to add to the existing circuits.

Kaden wanted a complete walk-through winter wonderland, including a setup for the backyard, where they’d hold some of their dinners and parties if the weather was good enough. Some of the areas would be run off extension cords, but some would require buried wiring and dedicated GFI outlets because of their distance from the house.

A few hours later, Seth was outside marking off sections with stakes and string when Leah walked outside, a glass of iced tea in hand. She wore a long T-shirt.

Seth gratefully accepted the tea. “Thanks, sweetie.”

He couldn’t quite interpret the look on her face. “What’s going on?” he asked.

She shook her head, then a smile broke through and she hugged him. “Thank you.”

He kissed the top of her head and left his free arm around her shoulders as he surveyed his progress. “I should be thanking you, babe.”

“No. I mean…everything.” She took a deep breath as her smile faded. “I’ll understand if at the end of a year you’ll want to—”

“Oh, no you don’t. You think you’re getting away from me that easy, think again.”

Her smile returned. “Really?”

He nodded. “Yeah. Really.”

She hugged him, surprising him with her strength. “Thank you,” she whispered. “I love you.”

“I love you, too, babe.” He closed his eyes and inhaled her scent. She’d taken a shower not too long before, and her damp hair smelled freshly shampooed. “Just don’t be upset if I don’t say it a lot in front of him, okay?” he softly said. “I’m not comfortable with that.”

“Okay.”

“And don’t be upset when I don’t spend every night with you two. I’m not going anywhere, but it doesn’t feel right taking time away from him. I want you to focus on him. I’m all right with that.”

“Okay.”

He kissed her again and gently patted her behind. “All right, let me get back to work. Clark Griswold in there has really planned a doozy for this year, and I need to make sure I’ve calculated everything right so we’re not blowing breakers all the time.”

She returned to the house. Seth tried to focus and couldn’t. He’d managed to put before, after, and the mental heartbeat—

kaden’sdying

—out of his mind for a while.

And now it was all back.

He sat in the shade and looked over the yard. He knew, no matter what, he would set up the display again next year. Hopefully in honor of Kaden but most likely in memory of him. And every year after that.

How much longer did they have?

Thanksgiving was just a few weeks away. Was this the last? The last Halloween? Would the three of them celebrate Easter together and watch Fourth of July fireworks in Lemon Bay?

Seth had thought, one day, he might have kids. If he found the right woman. Thankfully he hadn’t had any with the ex-hell-bitches. He could only imagine that shit storm over this latest development.

And Kaden and Leah couldn’t have any.

He would never ask her, as Kaden hadn’t, to go through hell just to have a baby.

But now, the thought that the choice had been made for him, without a chance to try, saddened him in some ways. Or maybe it was his crushing melancholy over his other thoughts, trying to force the phrase “last Christmas” from pounding through his mind.

It felt wrong to step into Kaden’s life, to take over, almost seamlessly, and carry on. He’d spent much of his life wishing he was Kaden, had Kaden’s life and family and money…and yes, his girl. And now, at this most critical of times, he desperately wished he could take Kaden’s place.

So Kaden could live.

It wasn’t fair.

Why couldn’t he, the fuckup, be the one dying? Not the good guy with everything to live for.

The sound of tires on the shell rock driveway caught Seth’s attention. He craned his neck to look. Ed’s car. He didn’t know Ed was coming over today. That explained why Leah wasn’t running around totally nekkid outside.

Well, unless Kaden needed him for something, he’d prefer not to hang around and listen to their conversations. It sucked to be him, but he knew it really had to suck to be Ed, responsible for helping Kaden make the legal arrangements.

Seth had gone back to work when Leah returned a few minutes later. She wore a different T-shirt, tucked into her denim shorts.

“What’s up, babe?” Seth asked.

“I was sent to help you.”

Seth’s gut twisted. That meant Kaden didn’t want her overhearing, confirming his suspicions. “Sure.” He handed her a spool of string. “Follow me and you can help me mark the paths.”

* * *

An hour later Ed left, waving as he drove down the driveway. Seth and Leah returned the gesture. Kaden soon joined them outside.

He acted normal, not letting anything slip. “When’s dinner, sweetie?”

“Whenever my guys want it.”

Seth’s heart flipped at her statement. She wasn’t just his. He was hers, too.

It felt good.

“How about in an hour?”

“Okay. I’ll go get it started.”

As she walked away, Seth sat in the grass. “Well? Want to spill it now or keep me in knots all night?”

Kaden laughed and sat with him. “Naw, it’s okay. Just more paperwork.”

“I figured you were trying to get rid of her to talk to me. Like you got rid of her to talk to Ed.”

“Think she noticed?”

“Duh. She’s not stupid, dude.”

Kaden shredded a blade of grass in his long fingers. “Just more preparations. I want everything I can get handled now done before the first of December.”

Seth’s heart froze. “Why?”

Kaden noticed his look and laughed. “No, dork. No bad news I haven’t shared already. I want to kick back and totally relax. Enjoy. I want to be able to spend time with you two. Besides, you still have a lot to learn.”

“What about Denise?” Kaden’s sister had called and left Kaden a message on his voice mail the day before.

Kaden shrugged. “That was one of the things I was taking care of today. I redid my will and totally cut her out.”

Seth laughed. “That’s going to piss her off.”

“Yeah, well, I won’t be around to deal with it. I’m sure you can handle her.” He met Seth’s gaze and laughed.

“Thanks, buddy.”

Two weeks before Thanksgiving, Seth and Kaden had half of the light display up. Seth was in a great mood. He’d accompanied Kaden to the doctor two days earlier. Apparently Leah’s rabid insistence on vitamins, supplements, and a healthy diet were paying off. Kaden was still dying, nothing had changed there, but his test results hadn’t declined from the last visit.

The oncologist was still noncommittal concerning a time frame, other than to offer a guesstimate of at least six months, probably longer, and two years wasn’t looking impossible at this rate.

Two years! Seth knew it was stupid to latch on to that, but he did anyway.

He spent several nights a week in their bed. Sometimes Leah came to his room and spent a little alone time with him before going to spend the night with Kaden. As weird as it was, Seth now understood Kaden’s point of view. He rarely felt jealous, and subdued his sometimes envious pangs with the thought that it was only right and fair she spend time alone with Kaden. Sometimes he found himself insisting she spend the time alone with Kade.

Making love to her was beyond description. And even when it was the three of them together, there were plenty of nights it was vanilla—as vanilla as it could be in a ménage.

Leah also seemed to need fewer trips to the playroom, something that greatly relieved Kaden.

Although Seth had to admit he was growing more comfortable taking the leading role in their private scenes. He’d taken Leah to the club twice more, and two more times the three of them went.

Seth was outside with Kaden, trying to set up another set of lighted animals, when Leah walked out with two glasses of iced tea. The men gratefully took a break, sitting in the shade. Even for a Florida November, the day was unusually hot, and they’d quickly shed their shirts as the heat built.

Kaden noticed her look first. “What?”

“Hmm?”

“I know that look, babe. What’s on your mind?”

Leah plopped down in the grass in front of them. She reached out and traced Kaden’s tattoo with her finger. “I was thinking.”

After a minute he shook his head. “Seth, I think we’ll need the singletail to get this out of her.”

She laughed. “No. Okay. Fine.” She took a deep breath and dropped her gaze to the ground. “It’d be nice if you both had one.” Then she lifted her eyes to Seth.

He wasn’t following her. “Huh?”

“I know you said you didn’t want me to get you anything for Christmas, but…” She didn’t finish.

Kaden looked at Seth and laughed. “Ah. I see. She wants a matching set.”

Seth had worried that was what she meant. “Oh.”

“I mean,” she quickly said, “if you don’t want to, I understand. It’s okay. I shouldn’t have mentioned it. I’m sorry.” She’d started to stand, but he grabbed her hand.

“I hate needles.”

She looked at him. “I know,” she softly said. “It’s okay if you don’t want to.”

Seth studied her green eyes, finally nodded. “You guys might have to carry me out of there if I faint, but okay. I’ll do it, babe.”

* * *

That was how, two days later, Seth found himself seated in a tattoo parlor in Sarasota. It was the same place Leah and Kaden had gotten theirs.

He hoped they kept a barf bucket close by.

Kaden smiled. “I can’t believe you were in the Army and never got a tattoo.”

“I can’t believe you’re an attorney and you aren’t a slimy asshole.”

Leah laughed. “Touché.”

Seth gripped her hand a little tighter as the tattoo artist began inking the design. Seth had learned the circular motif was called a “triskelion” and was the unofficial symbol of BDSM practitioners.

“I do appreciate this, Seth,” Leah whispered.

“Make sure you show me,” he managed through gritted teeth.

“Man up,” Kaden teased. “Don’t be a pussy.”

“Fuck you.”

“Not in your wildest dreams, dude.”

Seth tried not to watch what the tattoo artist did. It hurt like a sonofabitch. He admitted it—while he was good with pain, he sucked with needles, which was why he never got inked before.

Kaden, a smile on his face, sat near the end of the table. “Just be thankful I didn’t let her talk me into the other one she wanted me to have.”

“I don’t want to know.”

He grinned. “No, you don’t.”

Leah pouted. “It would have looked so neat.”

“Hey, I never made you get your clit pierced, so don’t go playing the pouty card on me, little girl.”

Seth tried not to shudder. “You guys are gonna make me faint. If I don’t puke first.”

Kaden used his foot to nudge the garbage can a little closer to Seth.

Several hours later, he had a design identical to Kaden’s. After getting instructions on how to properly care for it while it healed, he turned to Leah. “I wouldn’t have done this for anyone but you.”

She smiled and stood up on her toes and kissed him. “I know. And I love you for it.”

Well, damn. That was more than enough to make the pain worth it.

“Now I have another request,” she said.

Kaden turned. “What’s that, sweetheart?”

“Can I get my masters’ names added to my design?”

Seth couldn’t read Kaden’s expression. After a long moment, his friend nodded. “It’s all right with me.” He looked at Seth.

Seth shrugged. “Okay.”

She told the tattoo artist what she wanted and lay down on the table while he traced a design on her lower back with a pen. She looked at it in the mirror and nodded. “Perfect.”

Seth closed his eyes and didn’t watch. He sat next to Kaden, each of them holding one of her hands. When it was done, she jumped up to look at it in the mirror. Kaden’s name gracefully curved over the top of the triskelion, and Seth’s below it.