Виктория Холт - The Reluctant Queen

"Of what do you speak?"

I said: "Of your mistress ... of your ... family."

He looked at me in amazement. Tell me what you have heard," he said.

My spirits were lifted. I was wrong, of course. It was just stupid cruel gossip. I had been foolish to listen to Ankarette.

"I have heard that you have a mistress and there are two children," I blurted out.

"Do you think that because of that I cannot love you."

"I believe you cannot love two people at the same time."

"Listen to me, Anne. It is true. There are these two children. I was going to tell you of them. They live with their mother whom I have seen from time to time. There will be an end of that now. It was just... a friendship."

"With two children?"

They are pleasant children. You would like them."

"How can you tell me this?"

"Because it is true and I would have no secrets from you."

"And you still see this woman?"

"I shall not do so when you promise to marry me."

"What about her?"

"She has always understood. I shall see that she is well provided for. She will probably marry."

"And your children?"

They shall be cared for. I hope one day "Yes? What do you hope?"

That you will receive them. Katherine, the little girl, is an enchanting creature. I believe John will be, too, but he is young yet."

I said: This has been a shock to me."

"I understand and I am sorry."

"I feel bewildered. I had never thought..." My dear Anne, you have been sheltered from the world. There is nothing extraordinary about this ... except that I have had only one mistress. Most men have had scores. The king ..."

"I could not have been in love with you if you had been like the king in that respect."

"I am not like him. All I wanted was to live ... naturally. I am a man. I have waited so long for you. That is all. I love you as my wife and you only. Anne, I want you to promise that you will marry me."

"I have looked forward to this for so long and now it has come "I understand that you are shocked. I should have explained to you myself. How did you hear?"

I did not want to betray Ankarette, so I said: "It was the women talking."

"Gossip." he said.

"But true."

"Please understand. You will understand. It is not unusual for a man to take a mistress when he has so long to wait for his true love." I put my hand in his.

"Richard," I said. I know one thing and that is that if you go away from me now and we have not plighted our troth, I shall be desperately unhappy."

"If only you will understand."

"I will try to understand. Then I shall be happy. It is hard at first." He put his arms about me and kissed me tenderly.

"Anne, you are so young. You will grow up ... with me beside you. It is what I have always wanted. Even in those days at Middleham I loved you ... I looked for you I wanted your admiration. I always wanted to do the things which were hard for me, to make you proud of me."

"I am proud of you and I do love you. The past does not count really. We can be together. That is all that matters."

"I shall speak with my brother. I know he will want my happiness and he will give his consent to our marriage now that he knows you want it, too. We have come through our troubles, Anne. We are going to be happy from now on."

"Yes." I said slowly.

"You still look sad. Why? You are not still thinking of...?"

"No. I was thinking of Queen Margaret."

Richard looked puzzled.

"Our enemy! Why should you think of her and at this moment?"

"Because I am happy and she is so sad. I am free and she is a prisoner. I was with her so much, I grew to know her ... admire her in a way. I know she was rash and impulsive and arrogant... but she is courageous and I shall never forget her misery when she heard of the death of her son."

The man who would be king!"

"He had a right, Richard. He was the king's son."

"There are some who doubt Henry was able to beget a son."

"There will always be rumours."

"You must not think of her. She is being taken care of."

"Is she? In some dark dungeon in the Tower?"

"I doubt my brother would be overharsh with her."

"I wish I could see her once more."

"Do you really mean that?"

"I should like to let her know that I cared for her. I think she must be feeling very much alone. She liked me ... in a way. I think I could bring her a little comfort."

"Do you want that very much?"

"Yes, I do."

"Perhaps it could be arranged. I could ask the king. I think he might grant such a request."

"It would ease my mind a little. I am sure she will be stoical. I think she lost heart for battle when her son died."

"I will see what can be done. And Anne ... will you promise me that you will forget everything that puts doubts into your mind now that you and I have found each other at last, and all obstacles are being swept away, leaving it clear for us to be together for the rest of our lives?"

"I will," I said.

I felt elated. The past did not matter. He loved me more deeply than he had ever loved another woman.

I was happy, happier than I had ever been before.

I could not keep the news to myself. As soon as I saw Isabel I burst out: "I am going to marry Richard! He has asked me and we have the king's consent."

She embraced me with affection.

"I always knew it." she said.

"You were meant for each other. You are both quiet and serious ... different from George, and me. Is it not strange that we should be sisters and they brothers ... and so different? Richard was always fond of you and you of him. You could never hide your feelings. Two sisters marrying two brothers. What could be closer than that? We shall be having a wedding soon."

"He was only waiting for my consent and now that I have said I will marry him there should be no delay."

Later that day a messenger came with the news that if I would make myself ready a guard would come to escort me to the Tower where I might see the prisoner, Margaret of Anjou.

Isabel was amazed.

I said: "I told Richard that I was unhappy about the queen and should like to see her, so he has arranged this for me."

"To prove he will do anything for you!"

My spirits were high. I said blithely: "It would seem that that is so.

"He must have asked the king himself. No one else would have dared give permission for you to visit such an enemy."

"She is a poor, tired, lonely, unhappy woman."

"She is a lioness, momentarily caged. Such a woman would be capable of anything. I am indeed surprised that this visit is allowed. As I said, it clearly shows what Richard will do for you."

She kissed me. It was wonderful to see her pleasure in my happiness.

I shall never forget my meeting with Margaret.

She was there in her dark cell a strongly guarded prisoner, a proud woman in defeat; but somehow she managed to create an aura of majesty.

They told me I was to have a visitor," she said.

"I did not expect it to be you."

She was pleased to see me and I was so glad that I had come. She knew it would not have been easy to get permission.

"I have thought of you so much," I said.

"You, too, have been in my thoughts. Are they treating you well?"

"I am with my sister."

"And your mother?"

"She must remain in sanctuary at Beaulieu."

"So it is only you who has been forgiven."

"It would seem so. I am to marry the Duke of Gloucester."

"The little duke! Ha! My boy was tall and handsome. What we have missed, you and II"

I said: "I have known the Duke of Gloucester since my childhood. We have always been friends. I am very happy because I am to many him."

She did not answer. She was staring ahead of her and I wondered whether my coming had reminded her of her son. But I immediately told myself that he would always be in her thoughts.

"I hope they are treating you well. I said.

They let me know I am their prisoner."

"You would like to return to France?"

She nodded.

"My father will be anxious for me. The King of France is my friend. They may do something ... but does it matter now?"

"Indeed it matters. When you are free from this place you will be yourself again."

"I have lost my son. I have lost everything that meant anything to me. They have murdered my husband."

They say he died of melancholy."

Her laugh was bitter, without mirth.

"What will they say I died of? Frustration? Humiliation?"

"You are not dead, my lady. Spirits such as yours do not die easily."

"Why should I want to live? Tell me that.""Who can say what the future holds?"

"I have lost everything. I sit here and wonder, could I have changed anything? Could I have acted differently?"

"Wars are terrible. They destroy people and countries. We should all be better without them."

"What is right must be fought for. The tragedy is when evil prevails."

I looked at her sadly. I could see that her downfall had been because she had never been able to see another point of view than her own and she had an innate belief that she must be right. Poor Margaret!

"And you, child." she said.

"You were thrust into this melee to serve your father's ends. I know your heart is with York ... because of this boy ... this little duke. And now, strangely enough, you are to get your heart's desire. You are young and I am old. But I was your age once. Do you know I was fifteen exactly a month before I married Henry? I came to England. I was beautiful, full of health and good spirits. They cheered me in the streets of London then. The daisy was my emblem. It was displayed everywhere. Henry was so proud of me and I was pleased with him. Oh, how alarming it is for a young girl to be presented to a husband she has never seen! Even the fact that her husband is the king of a great country does not subdue the fear. Henry was so kind, so gentle. I thought I was going to be the luckiest girl in the world."

"I understand," I said.

"The Cardinal Beaufort ... he was my friend ... and then there was the Duke of Suffolk who brought me over and who won my confidence from the beginning. I felt I had the kindest of husbands and friends already in my new country. Where did it go wrong?"

I might have hazarded a guess. It went wrong because Henry was weak and had inherited insanity from his grandfather Charles the Mad; it went wrong because she herself attempted to dominate those about her, because she was arrogant, inexperienced and a foreigner: and because the rival House of York was reaching for the throne.

"The people did not like me." she went on.

"They hate people to be in command if they are not of their blood. They said Henry could not beget a child and that I was too friendly with Suffolk.

They implied that Suffolk was the father of my child. The cruel lies! They would say anything to discredit me. I hated them."

There was too much hatred." I said.

"Life is cruel. When I was with child I was so happy ... so certain that everything would be all right. They did not hate Henry as they hated me. He was so benign, so gentle, so patient, but, of course, he loved learning more than power. He wanted to be a scholar. How happy he would have been in a monastery ... or a church -although many men of the Church seem to be as ambitious as all others. But Henry was doomed from birth. And then, when we might have had a chance ... the madness overtook him. Do you know he was not aware that he had a son? For months after the birth he was unaware of it."

I said: "I know of this. You have told me. Put it out of your mind. Do not speak of it. Do not brood on it if it makes you unhappy."

"It is engraved on my mind. I could not forget it. I cannot believe that I shall never see my son again. I brought him up to be strong ..."

I shuddered, thinking of his asking that men should be beheaded, and sitting beside his mother, watching the executions. Poor child! Poor Margaret! She had made him what he was and what that was I was not sure. I only knew that I had glimpsed cruelty in him and the thought of being married to him had terrified me. I could only rejoice at my escape, though my escape meant her torment.