“When did you decide this?” Denise asked.
“Just this morning. A couple of the guys are going down and asked if I wanted to go along. South Carolina opens the hunting season two weeks earlier than we do around here, so I figured I’d head down with them. I feel like I need a break.”
Are you talking about me or work?
“So you’re leaving tomorrow?”
Taylor shifted slightly. “Actually, it’s more like the middle of the night. We’ll be leaving around three.”
“You’ll be exhausted.”
“Nothing that a thermos of coffee can’t fix.”
“You probably shouldn’t pick me up tonight,” Denise offered. “You need a little sleep.”
“Don’t worry about that. I’ll be there.”
Denise shook her head. “No, I’ll talk to Rhonda. She’ll bring me home.”
“Are you sure she won’t mind?”
“She doesn’t live that far from here. And it’s not like she’s been doing it very much lately.”
Taylor slipped his arm around Denise, surprising her. He pulled her close. “I’ll miss you.”
“You will?” she said, hating the plaintive note in her voice.
“Of course. Especially around midnight. I’ll probably wander out to my truck through force of habit.”
Denise smiled, thinking he’d kiss her. Instead he turned away, motioning with his chin toward Kyle.
“And I’ll miss you, too, little man.”
“Yes,” Kyle said, eyes glued to the television.
“Hey, Kyle,” Denise said, “Taylor’s leaving for a few days.”
“Yes,” Kyle said again, obviously not listening.
Taylor crawled down from the couch, creeping on all fours toward Kyle.
“Are you ignoring me, Kyle?” he growled.
Once Taylor was close, Kyle realized his intent and squealed as he tried to get away. Taylor grabbed him easily, and they began to wrestle on the floor.
“Are you listening to me?” Taylor asked.
“He’s wrestling!” Kyle shrieked, his arms and legs flailing. (Ees wesswing!)
“I’m gonna get you!” Taylor bellowed, and for the next few minutes there was pandemonium on the living room floor. When Kyle finally tired, Taylor let him pull away.
“Hey, when I get back, I’m going to take you to a baseball game. If that’s okay with your mom, of course.”
“Bessbaw game,” Kyle repeated wonderingly.
“It’s fine with me.”
Taylor winked, first at Denise, then at Kyle.
“Did you hear that? Your mom said we can go.”
“Bessbaw game!” Kyle cried, louder this time.
At least with Kyle he hasn’t changed.
Denise glanced at the clock.
“It’s about that time,” she said, sighing.
“Already?”
Denise nodded, then rose from the couch to collect her things. A couple of minutes later they were on their way to the diner. When they arrived Taylor walked with Denise to the front door.
“Call me?” she said.
“I’ll try,” Taylor promised.
They stood gazing at each other for a moment before Taylor kissed her good-bye. Denise went in, hoping that the trip would help clear his mind of whatever had been bothering him.
Perhaps it did, but Denise had no way of knowing.
For the next four days she didn’t hear from him at all.
She hated waiting for the phone to ring.
It wasn’t like her to be this way; the experience a new one. In college her roommate sometimes refused to go out in the evenings because she thought her boyfriend might call. Denise always did her best to convince her roommate to come with her, usually to no avail, and then would head out to meet with different friends. When she explained why her roommate wasn’t with them, each of them swore up and down that they’d never do something like that.
But here she was, and suddenly it didn’t seem so easy to follow her own advice.
Not that she stopped living her life, as her roommate had done. She had too many responsibilities for that. But it didn’t stop her from racing to the phone every time it rang and feeling disappointed when it wasn’t Taylor.
The whole thing made her feel helpless, a sensation she detested. She wasn’t, nor had she ever been, the helpless type, and she refused to become that now. So he hadn’t called . . . so what? Because she was working, he couldn’t reach her at home in the evenings, and he was probably spending all day in the woods. When was he supposed to call her? The middle of the night? At the crack of dawn? Sure, he could call and leave a message when she wasn’t there, but why did she expect that?
And why did it seem so important?
I’m not going to be like this, she told herself. After running through the explanations again and convincing herself that they made sense, Denise forged on. On Friday she took Kyle to the park; on Saturday they went for a long walk in the woods. On Sunday she took Kyle to church, then spent the early part of the afternoon running other errands.
With enough money now to begin looking for a car (old and used, cheap, but hopefully reliable), she picked up two newspapers for their classified ads. Next stop was the grocery store, and she scanned the aisles, choosing carefully, not wanting to overload herself for the trip back home. Kyle was staring at the cartoon figure of a crocodile printed on a box of cereal when Denise heard her name being called. Turning, she saw Judy pushing her cart toward her.
“I thought that was you,” Judy said cheerfully. “How are you?”
“Hi, Judy. I’m fine.”
“Hey, Kyle,” Judy said.
“Hewwo, Miss Jewey,” he whispered, still enamored with the box.
Judy moved her cart a little off to the side. “So what have you been doing lately? You and Taylor haven’t come by for dinner in a while.”
Denise shrugged, feeling a pang of unease. “Just the usual. Kyle’s been keeping me pretty busy these days.”
“They always do. How’s he coming along?”
“He’s had a good summer, that’s for sure. Haven’t you, Kyle?”
“Yes,” he said quietly.
Judy turned her attention to him, beaming. “You sure are getting handsome. And I hear you’re getting pretty good at baseball, too.”
“Bessbaw,” Kyle said, perking up, finally looking away from the box.
“Taylor’s been helping him,” Denise added. “Kyle really likes it.”
“I’m glad. It’s a lot easier for a mother to watch her children play baseball than football. I used to cover my eyes whenever Taylor played. He used to get crunched all the time-I could hear it in the stands, and it gave me nightmares.”
Denise offered a strained laugh as Kyle stared, uncomprehending. Judy went on.
“I didn’t expect to see you here. I figured you would be with Taylor right now. He told me he was going to spend the day with you.”
Denise ran her hand through her hair. “He did?”
Judy nodded. “Yesterday. He came by after he got home.”
“So . . . hes back?”
Judy eyed her curiously. The next words came out carefully. “Didn’t he call you?”
“No.”
As she answered, Denise crossed her arms and turned away, trying not to show her discomfiture.
“Well, maybe you were already at work,” Judy offered softly.
But even as she spoke the words, both of them knew it wasn’t true.
Two hours after she got home, she spotted Taylor coming up the drive. Kyle was playing out front and immediately started for the truck, racing across the lawn. As soon as Taylor opened the door, Kyle jumped up into his arms.
Denise stepped out onto the porch with conflicting emotions, wondering if he’d come because Judy had called him after running into her at the store. Wondering if he would have come otherwise. Wondering why he hadn’t called while he was gone, and wondering why, despite all that, her heart still leapt at the sight of him.
After Taylor put Kyle down, Kyle grabbed his hand and the two of them began making their way to the porch.
“Hey, Denise,” Taylor said warily, almost as if he knew what she was thinking.
“Hi, Taylor.”
When she made no move off the porch toward him, Taylor hesitated before closing the gap. He hopped up the steps as Denise took a small step backward, not meeting his eyes. When he tried to kiss her, she pulled back slightly.
“Are you mad at me?” he asked.
She looked around the yard before focusing on him. “I don’t know, Taylor. Should I be?”
“Tayer!” Kyle said again. “Tayer’s here!”
Denise reached for his hand. “Could you go inside for a minute, sweetie?”
“Tayer’s here.”
“I know. But do me a favor and leave us alone, okay?”
Reaching behind her, she opened the screen door and then led Kyle inside. After making sure he was occupied with his toys, she returned to the porch.
“So what’s up?” Taylor asked.
“Why didn’t you call while you were gone?”
Taylor shrugged. “I don’t know . . . I guess I just didn’t have the time. We were out all day and I was pretty worn by the time I got back to the motel. Is that why you’re mad?”
Without answering, Denise went on.
“Why did you tell your mother you were going to spend the day here if you didn’t plan on doing so?”
“What’s with the questions? I did come by-what do you think I’m doing now?”
Denise exhaled sharply. “Taylor, what’s going on with you?”
“What do you mean?”
“You know what I mean.”
“No, I don’t. Look, I got back into town yesterday, I was beat, and I had a bunch of things to take care of this morning. Why are you making such a big deal out of this?”
“I’m not making a big deal out of this-”
“Yes, you are. If you don’t want me around, just tell me and I’ll get in my truck and leave.”
“It’s not that I don’t want you around, Taylor. I just don’t know why you’re acting the way you are.”
“And how am I acting?”
Denise sighed, trying to put it into words.
“I don’t know, Taylor . . . it’s hard to explain. It’s like you’re not sure what you want anymore. With us, I mean.”
Taylor’s expression didn’t change. “Where is all this coming from? What-did you talk to Melissa again?”
“No. Melissa has nothing to do with this,” she said, becoming frustrated and a little angry. “It’s just that you’ve changed, and sometimes I don’t know what to think anymore.”
“Just because I didn’t call? I’ve already explained that.” He took a step closer to her, his expression softening. “There just wasn’t any time, that’s all.”
Not knowing whether to believe him, she hesitated. Meanwhile, as if sensing something wrong, Kyle pushed open the screen door.
“C’mon, guys,” he said. “Let’s go inside.” (C’mon, guys. Wess go issite)
For a moment, however, they simply stood without moving.
“C’mon,” Kyle prodded, reaching for Denise’s shirt.
Denise looked down, forcing a smile, before glancing up again. Taylor was grinning, doing his best to break the ice.
“If you let me in, I’ll give you a surprise.”
As she thought about it, Denise crossed her arms. Behind Taylor, in the yard, a bluejay called from the fencepost. Kyle looked up expectantly.
“What is it?” she finally asked, giving in.
“It’s in the truck. Let me go get it.” Taylor stepped backward, watching her carefully, realizing that her comment meant she was going to let him stay. Before she changed her mind, he motioned toward Kyle. “C’mon, you can help.”
As they walked back to the truck, Denise watched him, her emotions warring within her. Again, his explanations seemed reasonable, as they had for the past two weeks. Again, he was great with Kyle.
So why didn’t she believe him?
After Kyle was asleep that night, Denise and Taylor sat together on the couch in the living room.
“So how did you like your surprise?”
“It was delicious. But you didn’t have to fill my freezer.”
“Well, mine was already full.”
“Your mom might want some.”
Taylor shrugged. “Hers is full, too.”
“How often do you hunt?”
“As much as I can.”
Before dinner, Taylor and Kyle had played catch in the yard; for dinner, Taylor had done the cooking, or rather part of it. Along with the venison, he’d brought some potato salad and baked beans from the supermarket. Now, relaxing for the first time, Denise felt better than she had for the past couple of weeks. The only light came from a small lamp in the corner, and a radio was playing softly in the background.
“So when are you taking Kyle to his baseball game?”
“I was thinking about Saturday, if that’s okay. There’s a game in Norfolk.”
“Oh, that’s his birthday,” she said, disappointed. “I was planning to throw a little party for him.”
“What time’s the party?”
“Probably around noon or so. I still have to work that night.”
“The game starts at seven. How about if I take Kyle with me while you’re at work?”
“But I kind of wanted to go, too.”
“Ah, let us have another boys night out. He’d enjoy it.”
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