The best speaker was a small fiery man with wild black hair and a pince-nez named Leon Trotsky. They all had something to say, but I had waited for this one. What a speaker! He’d been the leader of the Soviet of 1905 and had just returned from exile. Trotsky made us understand that this moment was a fuse and that we held the match, that the whole world was on the brink of revolution. All we had to do was light it. He was a cauldron melting the crowd into a single substance, and we threw ourselves in.

“Russia has opened a new epoch,” he called to us, “an epoch of blood and iron. A struggle no longer of nation against nation but of the suffering oppressed classes against their rulers.” The roar of applause in that barn left no confusion as to what it meant to believe in revolution. He talked about the achievement of the revolution, our impact on the world.

I’d always thought that once the tsar was gone, the wheel would stop, or at least pause, giving us a chance to get used to things, but now I could see that the revolution was just beginning. It would become a way of life as people clarified and changed their perceptions of what they thought could and must be done. Already, between February and May, my father’s superior in the foreign office, Paul Miliukov—a constitutional monarchist and one of the leading lights of the Kadet party—had been run out, replaced by Mikhail Tereshchenko, a nonparty beet-sugar magnate from the Ukraine. Now there was a new coalition of ten capitalist and six socialist ministers. The socialists, still trying to find common ground, had committed to continuing the war and calming the masses. But like Lenin, the man onstage had another idea. “Only a single power can save Russia—the Soviet of Workers’ and Soldiers’ Deputies! All power to the Soviet!”

What was the government waiting for? Here was a clear message, impossible to misunderstand: end this war, redistribute the land, feed the people, and achieve peace.

After Trotsky, another man took the stage, a pro-war Defensist, but he didn’t stand a chance—it was like having to sing after Chaliapin. “The war is Russia’s face to the world,” he argued to the enormous crowd. “If we retreat, we’ll be putting out the welcome mat! With the tsar we were subjects, but with the kaiser we’ll be slaves. The worker will be back under the lash. The only way to establish ourselves in the world as a true power is to continue the war and uphold our alliances.”

I had heard this argument before and had never been able to counter it. People booed and hissed, but others shouted, “Let him talk!”

Up in our section, something was happening behind us. “The poet!” “Go on, kid.” A big young worker stood on his bench and began to speak—no, he was reciting a poem! Lucky for him he had a deep actor’s voice and was able to create a pool of attention around himself. His poem likened a burning police station to a garbage incinerator, then to the blast furnace of a great factory, and finally to the gaping mouth of a lying old man. His shock of tawny blond hair looked familiar. Suddenly I recognized him—the boy from the Stray Dog Café! The one who wanted to show his work to Mayakovsky. Tonight he wore a carrot in the buttonhole of his jacket, the long green ends dangling, and he signaled the end of his poem by unthreading the carrot and biting off the end. Had I imagined it, or had he grinned right at me as he sat down? I felt it all the way through my coat, my layers of clothes, directly into my body. I quickly turned and faced front, my heart thumping around in my chest like a bird in a hallway, looking for an exit.

Onstage, an older woman now addressed the hall. I tried to concentrate and not to check if the poet was still looking at me, but when I managed to see past all the heads, he was gone.

The soft deep voice in my ear startled me. “Not her again.” The boy had moved down to a seat right behind us. I could hardly hear through the thunder in my ears, my freckles were on fire. “She looks like a teacher I once had. I keep thinking she’s going to give me a whipping.”

It would hardly do to let him see how thrilled I was. “Maybe you need one,” I replied, not turning.

Seryozha laughed over the drawing in his lap. Pavlik glanced back over his shoulder, annoyed with this interloper. The Tagantsev girls watched the whole thing closely, storing up gossip for the next day.

“If it was you, who knows? I might let you.”

Varvara made her black eyes bulge with exasperation. Can’t you leave off for a moment?

He held out the feathery end of his carrot, tickling my nose. “Here’s the whip.”

I laughed, brushing the leaves away.

“Kuriakin. Gennady Yurievich.” The poet held out a giant hand. My hand vanished in it, and yet we shook. It was a softer hand than I had expected, more flexible. “Call me Genya.” Genya. I shivered.

“Do you mind?” Pavlik said.

Genya stuck his big face between Seryozha and me and ignored every signal from Pavlik that he was unwelcome.

“Makarova. Marina.” Then I added, “This is my brother Seryozha.” Surely I couldn’t be accused of flirting if I introduced my brother.

Down on the stage, the woman argued not only for the end of the war but also for the end of state power and for worker control of the factories. Markus shouted his approval, pounding on his knee. “Yes! Exactly!”

Genya eyed the sketch my brother was working up. Now I saw that it was of the poet reciting over the heads of the crowd. He cocked his head for a better angle. “I even look halfway intelligent. Most appreciated.” How heroic he was in Seryozha’s eyes, broad-shouldered, chin tilted up, soldiers and sailors gathered around him. “Look, let’s get out of here, Makarova Marina,” he said. “Let’s go for a walk. It’s hot in here, and I’ve had enough of the sermons.”

Pavlik crossed his arms peevishly as I left with the boy from the Stray Dog Café. “I’ll be back,” I whispered to Seryozha as I climbed over him. “If not, go home with the others.” His face was still red from being caught admiring the handsome young poet.


Outside, the air was fresh and the night finally dark, splashed with stars like flour slung into the sky. In the absence of police, all sorts of sinister people scuttled in the shadows, but who would bother me with this giant, this Genya Kuriakin? He was like a figure from a folktale, an indomitable Ilya Muromets. And the way he’d chosen me, plucked me from the crowd as a boy picks a flower from a meadow—it was so easy. As simple as destiny. Genya, a name like grain on the tongue, like a gift in the hand. That hard G grabbed you, the ya declared itself again. Ya, I.

We strolled along the Petrovskaya Embankment, where the river sparkled, shattering reflections of the lights from the bridges and the Winter Palace. The whole right side of my body turned rosy with this boy’s proximity. Walking with him was like standing next to a furnace. “I’ve seen you before, you know,” he said. Had he seen me that night at the Stray Dog after all? I didn’t reply. There was time. We had all the night ahead. “At Wolf’s bookstore. You wore a green coat and a white hat, and you were looking at poetry.”

I must have been hunting for my own book, seeing if any had sold. I wanted to tell him that, but it would seem like I was trying to impress him. And he probably wouldn’t consider my stuff poetry anyway—it wasn’t very futuristic. But this was poetry, too—this, the fragrance of sex and possibility. It was a scent that surrounded me ever since I’d started up with Kolya. As if I’d passed through a mirror and found I’d become beautiful, or interesting, something other than myself. It was foolish and vain of me, but right then I felt as if I could stretch out my arm and the bridge itself would sidle closer, rub up against me like a cat.

Genya Kuriakin leaned against the balustrade and reached out toward my face. I stood very still as he carefully picked up a lock of my hair that had fallen loose and tucked it back in. “Yes, a green coat and a white fur hat, a ribbon in your buttonhole. I wrote a poem about you. Do you want to hear it?”

“If it’s any good,” I teased him.

He stepped away from me and began:

You touch my poems

as if testing my eye

with the tip of your tongue

seeing if I’m something good

to eat.

And decide—against.

No, don’t go!

Am I really so tasteless?

Too salty?

Too tough?

Really I’m tasty as can be.

                        Feast on my heart, my liver

Take my tongue, my brain, my limbs

         What use have I for arms

                         unless you take them?

                     You think me kitsch?

The red ribbon in your buttonhole…

What valor have you shown,

                        what valedictions on what battlefields?

                        What monsters have you slain,

                                   Tsar-Maiden?

My poem fails to stir.

                          I may as well jump.

                                  Tear out my eyes.

                                           Fall on the tracks.

                                  Cruel beauty.

                                  Have you already eaten

                                            some other poet?

                                  Are you full?

The smell of your smoke

                         lingers in the aisle.

Poor poet. I could well imagine his anguish as I examined his book, then put it back, unread. With that red ribbon in my buttonhole, waiting for Kolya. It was for valor in bed, Genya—that battleground. “Yes, I remember.”

He kissed my palm, as if he were drinking from it. “No, you don’t. But that’s all right. You can remember this instead.”

We continued walking along the quay. The stars were winking on, and the warmth of his arm around my shoulder made my coat unnecessary. Then the moon began to rise, fast, illuminating his face, his eyes. Were they green or brown? His nose was long and bumpy, it had been broken. When we stopped again, I pulled the carrot from his buttonhole, took a bite, and threw the rest into the water. He kissed me then, suddenly, carrot still in my mouth, with all the awkwardness of unstudied desire. This was what young people did, I thought—simple and open, not a practiced seduction. Not hidden away in some stranger’s decadent flat. I felt younger than I had before, lighter, as if I’d been allowed to go back and try a new path.

He talked and talked. He’d come from a town in the Volga called Puchezh, north of Nizhny-Novgorod, where his father was a priest. Genya was a Bolshevik, he’d been to jail or so he said, he hated religion. He lived with a group of poets in a flat near Haymarket Square, and contributed to a journal called Okno—The Window. He considered himself a futurist. He loved Mayakovsky and Khlebnikov, and with bashful pride he admitted that his Okno friends had published a volume of his poetry called The Brief Memoir of a Clay Pigeon, the very book I’d picked up and put down again.

I didn’t volunteer any information about my own family—it was too embarrassing to say that my father was a Kadet member of the Provisional Government, that my mother was a Golovin, that we lived in a twelve-room flat on Furshtatskaya Street. Instead, I told him about the poets I loved, that I was graduating soon, on my way to university. “I write, too. Poems. That’s what I was doing at Wolf’s that day. Seeing if any of my books had sold.”

“I should have known. I felt it. More than just a beauty.” He leaned his back against the balustrade, folded his arms. “Well? Let’s hear one.”

I loved that he assumed I could just rattle one off, that he assumed it would be worth hearing. But which? The poem I’d written about the death of the student at Znamenskaya Square? That would impress him with my revolutionary fervor. But instead, I recited one written by the girl in the white fur hat, so we could be formally introduced.

Insomnia

My window gazes onto night,

alone and sleepless-starry.

Down Furshtatskaya, a single light