“Can I see you tomorrow?”
My heart leapt and I had to bite my lip to keep from answering too quickly and sounding like some idiot obsessed and unable to go a day without seeing her crush. Nope, I wasn’t crushing on Shane Stevenson. Nope. Nope… Not even a little.
Liar!
“Sounds like fun. Call me and we can make plans… Or you could just come over and hang out?” Maybe he wanted to spend some time with Lana. Damn, there went that pinprick pain to the heart again.
“We can do whatever you want.” His smile was adorable, almost shy and a little sweet. Neither of those things were something that I thought I would ever use to describe a tatted up rock star, but they fit nonetheless.
“Okay.” I pulled my keys from my purse before taking a step away from him. “See you tomorrow, Shane.”
“Harper..?” He paused and I turned back around to face him. His gaze went over my shoulder to where the night doorman was sitting before shaking his head. “Goodnight, beautiful.”
The endearment made something tighten around my heart, and I couldn’t help the involuntary smile as I pushed the call button for the elevator. It opened immediately and I stepped inside. Shane stood watching until the doors closed between us.
As the elevator ascended to my floor, I beat my head back against the wall of the elevator. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid! Crushing on a guy so far out of my league had to be the most stupid, idiotic thing I had ever done in my life.
Linc and Dallas were still up when I unlocked the front door. They sat on the couch with a bowl of popcorn sitting between them. Since it was a Saturday night, I had been expecting them to be out at a club or some party. As I closed the door behind me, Lana came from down the hall with a phone pressed to her ear.
When she saw me she looked both relieved and concerned. I bit my lip and pushed my glasses up my nose. “What?”
“Nothing,” Lana rushed to say. “Nothing… I just wasn’t expecting you to come home…so early.”
She hadn’t expected me to come home at all. “Shane and I are just friends.”
“Of course.” She nodded. “Sure.” She sounded a little confused, but instead of saying anything else, she turned and went back the way she had just came, the phone still pressed firmly to her ear. “Sorry, Layla. Yes, everything’s fine…”
I rolled my eyes at my friend as I dropped down on the arm of the couch beside Linc. “What are we watching?”
“Your phone is off,” Linc scolded.
I sighed and reached down to pull my shoes off. “Sorry. Mother was annoying the crap out of me so I switched it off. Did you need anything?”
“No. We were just worried.” Linc pulled me down beside him and I snuggled close, pillowing my head on his shoulder much the way I had Shane’s just a little while ago. His shoulder was wider, more muscular, but it felt uncomfortable. And while Linc smelled deliciously male, it wasn’t the scent that I wanted filling my nose. It wasn’t Shane’s scent…
Well hell!
Chapter 5
Harper
I groaned when my phone buzzed on the nightstand beside my bed.
I cracked open one eye to glance at my alarm clock and groaned again when I saw that it was only a little after ten. It was Sunday. I had nowhere to be. No one had a good enough reason to bother me so early!
Ignoring the annoying ringtone, I turned over in bed and used my extra pillow to cover my head until the thing quieted down. When it did I snuggled under my covers and relaxed…
Five minutes later it started ringing again!
Muttering a curse, I blindly reached for the thing to turn it off when I saw that it was from Shane. I shot up in bed, letting the covers fall to my waist. When he said he wanted to do something today I thought it would be later in the day. Rockers liked to sleep until noon, right? With the rumored lifestyle Shane supposedly lived, I was sure he wouldn’t call until later tonight. Pushing my sleep tousled hair out of my face, I hit accept and put my phone to my ear.
“Hey.”
“Hey, beautiful.” His voice was slightly throaty, and I bit my lip to keep from smiling like an idiot. “I’m downstairs. Ready to go?”
“I…Umm….” I grimaced. “I’m still in bed.”
“At noon?” He sounded amused.
“No it’s not.” It couldn’t be. Glancing at my alarm clock, I yelped. I guess I had fallen back to sleep and hadn’t even realized it! “Oh, it is.”
“I tried to call earlier, but it went to voicemail. I can come back later if you would rather.” Now he sounded kind of disappointed.
“No!” I jumped out of bed, already pulling fresh underwear out of my dresser. “Give me ten minutes and I’ll be ready. Come on up.”
“Okay.” Was that excitement I heard now?
As soon as he hung up, I tossed my phone on my bed and stripped off my sleep shirt. Tugging on panties, I opened my closet and grabbed the first shirt I saw—a lavender camisole with a built in bra, one of my favorites. Perfect. Reaching for my white skirt, I stepped into it and then added my favorite flip-flops. I rushed through my bathroom routine, brushed my teeth, and smoothed on some moisturizer.
Finally, I snapped my watch into place and left the bedroom I shared with Lana. When I entered the living room it was completely empty. No one was home, not even Lana, and I had to assume she was on campus studying. There was a knock on the door and I saw that it hadn’t even taken me five minutes to get ready.
I pulled my hair into a high ponytail as I crossed the messy looking living room to answer the door. Linc and Dallas didn’t know how to clean up after themselves on Sunday mornings. Any other day the apartment was spotless, but Sundays? Not so much.
I wasn’t prepared for the sight that greeted me on the other side of the door. It wasn’t like it was the first time I had seen him for God’s sakes. I had spent hours with him just the day before. So why did my breath catch at the sight of sexy as sin Shane Stevenson leaning against the door frame of my apartment? Inked up arms crossed over a lean, muscled chest. He wore a tight white T-shirt, and his jeans hung off of his hips in a way that made my mouth unsure if it was going to fill with saliva or go completely dry.
It wasn’t fair that he was so hot. Why couldn’t he have been more average looking? Maybe then I would have at least stood half a chance with this guy.
“Like what you see, beautiful?” His voice was still throaty and full of desire. “Because I sure as fuck like what I see.”
Heat filled my cheeks and I stepped back, inviting him in while ignoring his question. “Can I get you something to drink? I think there might be some beer in the fridge, unless Linc and Dallas drank it all last night.”
Strong fingers gripped my elbow, stopping me from going into the kitchen. Turning, I raised a brow at him. “What?”
His blue-gray eyes were darker than I remembered and trained right on my lips. My heart started racing. “Is Lana here?”
“No, I think she went to campus to study. She has a huge test tomorrow.” That was where she normally spent Sundays, whether she had a test or not. She was always studying.
“Good.” His voice came out almost a growl.
He moved so fast I didn’t have time to react. His fingers tightened around my elbow and pulled my body against his. My small breasts were crushed against his hard chest, and I gasped as his head lowered and he captured my lips. My entire body suddenly felt as if it had been set afire. I moaned, unable to stop the small whimper as it left my slightly parted lips.
He released my elbow, his hands stroking over my body, molding me to him. They came to rest over my hips, pulling me even closer. Those strong fingers gripped my ass through the thin material of my skirt and panties, holding me hard against his lower body. There was no way I could avoid the evidence of his arousal as it pulsed against my stomach. His lips were soft, his tongue hot as it skimmed across my bottom lip in a silent command to open my mouth for him.
When I let him in he groaned, his tongue tangling with my own. My nails dug into his back, holding on to him as I tried to keep up with the kiss. I had no experience with kissing, with anything sex related! But dammit, I was learning fast and liking every second of it. He tasted good, like some exotic honey or nectar. I sucked on his tongue, wanting more of that sinfully sweet taste.
I wasn’t ready for it to be over when he relaxed his hold on my ass enough to move half a step back. Slowly, he ended the kiss, his lips lingering for just a moment longer before raising his head a few inches. “I wanted to do that last night but didn’t want anyone to see our first kiss.”
“That was my first kiss…ever,” I whispered.
Shane
I felt like I was going to explode in my jeans.
No kiss had ever affected me like this, not even when I was younger and screwing everything with a vagina that looked at me twice. It was damn near embarrassing, but somehow I kept from nutting off.
I knew Harper was going to be different—special. Last night I had realized that I was developing feelings for her. I hadn’t slept much while I tried to determine if I wanted to find out if what I was feeling for her was what Drake felt for Lana or what my other band brothers had found with Emmie and Layla. Part of me had been jealous of their new happiness, while another part had felt sorry for the poor bastards.
After deciding that I at least wanted to see were these crazy ass feelings were heading, I had gone for a run to keep from rushing over to see her. I didn’t want to spook her.
But with her whispered words echoing through my head like she had screamed them, I was finding it hard to breathe. Her first kiss. First kiss. First. Kiss.
I had suspected that she wasn’t very experienced. Lana had hinted at it, and Harper had shown plenty of signs of it. But she had just basically admitted to being a virgin. Sure, I had deflowered my share of virgins as a stupid ass kid. I had no respect for girls then; I barely respected myself at the time. Fuck, that was still the case!
But not with Harper, dammit!
No matter how badly I wanted her—and it was almost to the point of pain—I was not going to take her virginity. I didn’t deserve something that special, not when I was so fucked up. I would taint her.
Devastated, I took a step back. Still breathing hard, my body still aching to have her, I pulled away from her. Violet eyes looked up at me with desire until she saw my clenched jaw. “I’m sorry, Harper.” I told her and watched her eyes go blank. “I…I can’t… This won’t work…”
She just nodded and I practically ran from the apartment before I changed my mind. I couldn’t destroy her sweetness with my sickness!
As soon as my feet hit the sidewalk outside, I started running. It didn’t matter that I was in jeans. All I wanted to do was burn off the frustration making my entire body hurt. My heart felt like someone had stabbed it right in the center. Finally, I had found someone that I wanted for more than a quick fuck, and I couldn’t have her!
One of Emmie’s gods must really hate me, probably laughing at me right at that moment. I had found paradise and lost it all in the blink of an eye. It wasn’t lost on me that the one girl in the world I felt something deep for turned out to be my complete opposite.
I had been screwing every girl that looked interested since I was fourteen, and saying that I had fucked thousands of girls was not an understatement. When Demon’s Wings had hit it big, women were lining up for quickies. There were nights when I would start out with one and end the night with two, sometimes three.
Those nights had been fun, but now I just felt sick thinking about them. I felt dirty, unclean, and undeserving of Harper. Sweet, innocent Harper, who had experienced her first kiss with me…
My heart was screaming for me to go back, to take what it now considered as mine, while my brain was shouting at me to keep running. I was only going to cause her pain. All the reasons I shouldn’t get close to her or let her love me as I so desperately wanted her to, kept flashing through my mind.
The images had me stopping, my hands on my knees as I tried to catch my breath after the long, demanding run I had just put my lungs through. I was on the verge of puking and tried to get my gag reflux under control.
When the nausea passed I straightened my body out and started running again, needing the physical pain to numb the emotions.
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