“I will refurnish the drawing-room,” I said.

“I would like yellow curtains—but not too bright a yellow.”

“I know,” said Adelaide, ‘the colour of gold. “

“Not gold,” I cried.

“The colour of sunshine.”

I wouldn’t think about the future. The present offered everything I wanted. Now was the important time—not yesterday, not tomorrow.

“Although,” went on Adelaide, ‘since you are going away, will you want to refurnish? “

“I don’t want to go away, Adelaide.”

“It will be exciting for you.”

“Stirling won’t want to leave everything here.”

“Stirling will want to do as his father wishes.” She was looking at me and gently implying: And so must you.

I thought about it: to leave for England with Lynx and Stirling, to leave this wonderful world which I had just discovered to start on a voyage of discovery. Whiteladies . that girl on the lawn . the older woman. My husband could be a little fanatical with his plotting and planning. I would make him see reason, I promised myself again; but not yet. I was not going to spoil this honeymoon period with the clash of opinions which must inevitably occur.

I said nothing to Lynx of leaving the country. We laughed; we bantered; we were serious; we made love in many moods-light-hearted, tender, abandoned and passionate. I would not have believed there could be so many moods.

I was happy, saying: This is now. There has never been such a perfect time. Nothing must spoil it. I must cling to it, make it last for ever.

But nothing lasts for ever.

How tiresome people could be! It seemed that Jessica was deliberately trying to spoil my pleasure in life. When I passed her open door one day she called me into her room and I could not refuse to go although I should have loved to.

She was sitting in front of her mirror trying on my wedding veil.

“Where did you get it?” I asked.

“Ah, you didn’t miss it, did you? I just wanted to try it on.”

She looked incrongruous with her wild eyes and pale skeleton-like face; and she seemed to read my thoughts for she said: “I look like the bride in ” The Mistletoe Bough”. You know the story. She hid in a trunk and was locked in. They found her years later.”

“What a gruesome story!”

“I used to sing that song.”

I thought: Trust you!

“Perhaps it was as well for the bride that she was locked in the trunk.”

“What a thing to say!”

“Slow suffocation, I suppose. But she would soon be overcome by the lack of air. It wouldn’t take long. Better than a lifetime of suffering. I can’t tell you how Maybella suffered with her miscarriages. “

I turned away. I did not want to think of my husband’s first marriage.

I knew it had been a marriage of convenience for him. I made excuses for him—a proud man, a captive, wrongly accused; marriage was his only means of escape. I was glad that it had been such a marriage. I wanted no one else to have shared this passion which swept me along as though I were caught in a whirlwind.

Jessica took off the orange blossom and veil and underneath was the one with the satin niching. She had been wearing the two.

I said accusingly: “You put that in my room the night before my wedding.”

“Yes, I knew you’d like to have it.”

I thought: She prowls about my room on her own admission. I felt angry with her for prying; and then her helplessness struck me as pitiable and my anger subsided.

She was folding the veils carefully.

“I shall keep them both,” she said.

“I have a lovely sandalwood box.

There’s plenty of room in it. ” She looked at me obliquely. What was she implying? That one day there would be three veils in the box?

But I refused to be affected by a foolish woman whose mind was clearly not well balanced.

I left her and went into the library. Lynx was there, his eyes agleam with pleasure at the sight of me.

Lynx and I went to Melbourne in style. We drove in the special carriage he had had made for himself and we changed horses every ten miles at the coaching inns. He drove part of the way himself, and then how we sped along!

We lived in the grand suite in his hotel, and I was alone some part of the day when he was doing business. I was surprised that he did not take me with him but I realized later that it was because this business concerned his leaving Australia, and knowing my feelings about this, he did not wish to spoil our holiday.

We dined in our private suite and I was so happy that I refused to listen to the voice within which told me that there was another reason for this visit than simple pleasure.

But holiday it was. In the mornings we drove into the nearby country, out to Richmond and beyond along the Yarra Yarra, almost out to the Dandenong country. We went to concerts ‘d there were many invitations, most of which he declined; but he did give an evening’s entertainment at the hotel and the big dining-room was turned into a banqueting hall. There was supper and a concert to follow when a new pianist, who was much admired in Europe, was making his debut in Australia.

Wearing a white satin dress, my only ornament a diamond brooch and a ring with one enormous diamond, I stood beside him and received our guests. I was proud because I could see the great respect he inspired was not with his family only.

We were congratulated. I knew that eyebrows were raised because I was so much younger than he was. I wanted to explain to them that age was of no importance, particularly where Lynx was concerned. Lynx was ageless; I felt convinced then that he would live for ever—long after I was dead.

I sat listening to the pianist. Those haunting Chopin melodies would always remind me of this evening. There was something sad and wistful about them; I felt that they implied the transience of joy and happiness, the inevitable disillusion. How absurd! It was due to Jessica with her veils and boxes that I should have such thoughts.

Now he had gone into the Military Polonaise. That was stirring and lively and my spirits were lifted.

I heard two women whispering together.

“Lavish! No expense spared.”

“Expense! This is nothing. He’s many times a millionaire.”

“What luck! Trust him to get it. And so much.”

“Now he’s got this young girl and his fortune.”

I shouldn’t listen. I wished I hadn’t such acute ears. I was sure I heard someone say: “Do you think it will last?” And I shivered because it seemed as though Jessica was beside me, folding her veils neatly into a box in which there was plenty of room for more.

I was not in the least shy of these people. Since my marriage, I had changed. I had become a woman of the world; I was desired; I was loved by a man who could not enter a room without every eye being turned on him. I could say to myself: “And he chose me!” And that made me hold my head higher. In my white satin gown I felt perfectly groomed and at ease. Perhaps I looked more than my nineteen years, but that was unimportant since I was the wife of Lynx. I was constantly catching his eye and we exchanged looks of understanding. I wanted him to be proud of me.

I mingled with the guests. We talked of Melbourne and how it had grown since I had arrived in Australia. I discussed the new buildings, the shops and the theatre.

“I hope you will come into Melbourne more often, Mrs. Herrick,” said one woman.

“There is plenty of time before next February.”

I was not quite sure what she meant and I repeated “February?”

“Isn’t that when you are leaving us? Your husband was saying that he thought it would be better to arrive in England during the warm weather.”

Oh yes,” I said, ‘of course.”

“And how excited you must be! I hope you will come back some day. But England was quite recently your home, wasn’t it? So it will not be new to you.”

I was not listening. So he had arranged the date of leaving and he had not told me. I felt angry because once more as in the days before our marriage he had shown me that although he would indulge me in unimportant matters of our life, the big issues would be decided by him.

He said: “What a success you were! I was proud of you. You looked very different from the school teacher who arrived in our midst two years ago.”

I was silently standing before the long mirror and he came and put his arms about me, looking over my head at our reflection.

“I hear you have made arrangements for us to leave for England,” I said stonily.

Oh, that’s it! Did one of those fools tell you? It must have been the Adams woman. Really, Adams should not discuss his client’s business with his wife. “

“The fact remains that you have made these arrangements.”

“I like to get everything in hand.”

“That’s in five or six months’ time, then.”

“I thought you would like to arrive in good weather.”

“That,” I retorted, ‘was extremely considerate of you. “

“My darling knows I always consider her comforts.” I stared at his reflection in the mirror.

“Since we are falling into this irritating habit of discussing her as though she is not present, she will say that she would like her wishes to be considered as assiduously as her comforts. “

“It is my pleasure to give in to those wishes whenever possible.”

“Which means when they don’t inconvenience you at all.”

“It’s this ridiculous matter of leaving the country. I’m surprised at you, Nora. This town—which I admit is growing and will doubtless be a very fine place in due course—can’t be compared with home.”

“I want to stay here,” I said. I turned to him pleadingly.

“Please, I know that it is best for us to stay here.”

“How can you know such things? You talk as though you’re prophetess.”

“I know why you’re going to England.”

I am taking my family there because there they can live in a manner suited to their . “

“Fortune,” I said.

“Which was founded by me.”

“My clever Nora! I’ll never forget that day you came in and held out the nugget to me. You looked scared as though you had behaved in some reprehensible manner.

“I wish …” I began. But it wasn’t true than wished I hadn’t found gold. I was glad now even. as I ever was, that I had been the one to make the miraculous discovery.

He had become tender suddenly as though my discovery of gold gave me the privilege of being stupid about other matters.

“Nora, leave everything to me.”

“I daresay it would please you to have a stupid wife who said, ” Yes, yes, you are wonderful. You are always right. Do just as you wish and I will go on saying how right and clever you are. ” He burst out laughing. Then he shook his head at me.

“It’s no use, Nora. We’re going.”

“And when we get there we are going to acquire Whiteladies by evil hook or wicked crook.”

“How beautifully you express it.”

“So you are determined. Oh, Lynx, why do you want that house? Let’s get another house nearby if you like that part of the country. Or we could build our own.”

His face had hardened. He was like the man I had met when I first came. There was a certain coldness in his manner towards me which frightened me and which wounded me more than I had thought possible.

“This is something you don’t understand,” he said.

“We are going to England, and when we get there I shall decide what we are going to do. “

“You mean I have no say in it?”

I turned away and walked to the window. I was fighting the impulse to give way, to say: “I will do as you wish. I only want you to go on loving me.” But that would be false to myself. He had loved me for myself in the beginning. I had not been afraid of him then; I would not be now.

“I mean,” he said, ‘that you will be sensible as you usually are and realize that you know nothing of this matter and be happy to leave it to me. “

I turned to him and ran into his arms.

“Then tell me,” I said.

“Tell me everything.”

There was a sofa in the room; he sat down and drew me to him. I lay against him while he began to talk of those long ago days. I had heard it before but I don’t think I ever fully realized before the depth of degradation he had plumbed nor how deeply the bitterness had entered his soul. He was going to own that house; the wound festered still; this was the only balm which could heal it.