I was commanded to bring her writing pad and paper. “Not that one. Lenore … the larger one in my bureau.” Finally we had the right pad and the right pen and the compilation of the list began.

There was excitement throughout the house. I was to go to the party. Certain duties had been assigned to me.

“You will look after the Barkers, Lenore,” said Lady Sallonger. “I don’t suppose anyone will want to talk to them … and I don’t think people like to feel neglected. It makes the party seem unsuccessful. Perhaps I should not have asked them. They are very, very rich … but it was all made out of building. People might forget that but Jack Barker won’t let them. He talks about property developments and decay in the industry all the time. I’m only asking them because we need the number and they are near enough to go home afterwards.”

Grand’mere was in a state of uncertainty. Before she had known that I would be there she was thoughtful. “It will be a sign,” she said. “I want you to be there … I do so want you to be there.”

So when I was told about the Barkers she was overjoyed.

“I shall make you a dress, mon enfant. You shall have such a dress as will make you shine among them all.”

“Julia wouldn’t like that,” I reminded her.

“Oh, she would not know. She is lacking in style, that one. She does not know a perfection when she sees it. She is too fond of show and glitter … but that is not style. Oh no. That is not chic …”

She did make me a dress. It was my first grown-up dress. It was in flame coloured silk, which suited my dark hair; it had a tight bodice and short puffed sleeves; the glory was in the skirt, which flared out from the waist in numerous flounces.

There were tears in Grand’mere’s eyes when she fitted it on.

“You look so like your mother,” she said. “I could almost believe …”

I embraced her and said it was very grand, and it would be my favourite dress for the rest of my life.

The evening came and the guests arrived. Lady Sallonger received them on her couch. She looked very regal when they came to bow to her. Charles and Philip were with her and Drake Aldringham, of course. It was all very splendid.

It was to be a buffet supper and the tables were set out in the dining room. The musicians were already playing in the ballroom and Lady Sallonger had arrived there leaning heavily on Charles’s arm. She had seated herself to watch the dancing.

I, of course, was with the Barkers. Mr. Barker talked all the time about his business. Mrs. Barker said very little; she sat arms folded over her ample stomach looking like a Chinese Buddha and watching her husband as though the words which came from his ever-open mouth were some divine gospel.

Still, it was fun to be there. I learned of the difference between building with bricks and with stones, of the difficulty there was to find workmen who knew their jobs, and how people did not work as they used to with all this talk of reform. Things had started to decline since every Tom, Dick and Harry could get the vote.

I was not paying very much attention but I took my cue from Mrs. Barker and just assumed an air of respectful absorption while my mind wandered.

I saw Drake Aldringham with Julia. Cassie was seated beside her mother. She could not dance because of her leg. Poor Cassie, I thought, she did not enjoy such occasions very much.

Charles looked in my direction and I was amazed when he sauntered over.

“Good evening, Mr. Barker, Mrs. Barker,” he said. “I hope you are enjoying the occasion.”

“Splendid, splendid,” replied Mr. Barker. “This is a finely proportioned room. They knew what they were doing when they built this place.”

“I’ll grant you that,” said Charles, giving me a conspiratorial look.” Alas, Mr. Barker, that you were not around at the time. I am sure if you had been it would have been even more splendid.”

Mr. Barker looked pleased. “Oh, I would have brought a bit of modernity into it. That fireplace. Look at it. It must use up tons of coal. Should have been more shallow.”

“I am sure you are right. I am going to take Lenore round the floor. She looks as if she is longing to dance.”

I turned to Mrs. Barker. I felt it was strange that Charles should be so concerned about me.

Mrs. Barker said: “That’s nice. Young people ought to enjoy themselves. We’ll see you later, Miss Cleremont.”

Charles had gripped my arm.

“There,” he said, as he led me into the dance. “Ah, the waltz. I love the waltz, don’t you?” He put his arm round my waist and drew me close to him.

My heart was beating fast. I was suspicious of him. I could not understand why he was being so genial towards me after the indifference—tinged with contempt—which he had so often shown me.

“I hope,” he went on, “that you are grateful to me for rescuing you from those two old bores.”

“Oh,” I replied. “They are not so bad. Mr. Barker must be an expert builder.”

”Why Mama had to ask them, I cannot imagine, and then to condemn you to look after them! Cruelty to the young, I call that. I say, Lenore, you look remarkably pretty tonight.”

“Thank you. It’s the dress.”

“If you were to ask me I should say it is what is inside the dress.”

His fingers crept up to the bare flesh of my neck and I felt a shiver run through me. He was aware of it.

“You are very young, Lenore,” he said. “Just a little girl, in fact.”

”I shall soon be sixteen.”

“Dear me! What a great age! Sweet sixteen and never been kissed. Or have you?”

He was whirling me round at a great speed. I loved to dance. I used to dance with Julia. Miss Logan was teaching her. I imagined that when the season grew nearer she would have a real dancing master or mistress. Dancing was one of the social graces at which one must be proficient when coming out. I joined in the lessons to give Julia a partner and I always enjoyed the session. But I was not really enjoying this. Charles seemed quite different from the young man whom I had known before. I had always thought I was far beneath his notice.

We were passing a door and as we came level with it his grip tightened about my waist and he swung me out of the ballroom … all along the corridor.

I gasped: “What are you doing? Where are you taking me?”

“Patience,” he sang out.

He opened a door and we were in a small room where the maids did the flowers every day. There was a sink and a tap. It was very cold and dark. I suddenly felt his lips on mine and I had rarely been so horrified.

“Let me go,” I shouted.

“Why should I?”

“I didn’t know …”

“You know. I think you are rather pretty. You’re a babe, but babes can be taught and there are a lot of things I can teach you.”

“I … I don’t think I want to hear them. I want to go back to the ballroom. I have to make sure the Barkers get supper.”

“The Barkers can take care of themselves for a while. Come on, Lenore. What’s the matter? You know I like you, don’t you?”

”I am sure you don’t,” I said.’ ‘You’ve always despised me.”

“I never despise pretty girls,” he said, attempting to insert his fingers into the neck of my dress.

“How dare you!” I cried. “I am going … now.”

He barred the way. “Now come on. You can’t tease me like this. I don’t like girls who tease.”

“And I don’t like people who force themselves on others.”

“Oh, you are a haughty piece, are you not?”

“I am myself and I choose people I shall talk to.”

“You little bastard,” he said.

I caught my breath and he laughed sneeringly. “Why so shocked? It’s what you are. Why we have you in the house I don’t know. Giving yourself airs … can’t accept a friendly kiss … after leading me on.”

I was silent with rage and astonishment.

He could not see my face because it was dark. He said in a more gentle tone: “Don’t be silly, Lenore. I like you. You ought to be pleased about that. But of course you are. I’m going to give you a good time. We’re going to be friends. This is just a beginning. It’s a pity you sleep near your grandmother. Do you think the old lady would hear if I came up quietly?”

I cried out: “I cannot understand why you are talking to me like this.”

“Because you’re growing into an attractive girl and it is time you realized what good fun attractive girls can have.”

My anger was turning cold. I knew that he was implying that because of my lowly and less than respectable birth I should welcome the attentions of the son of the house. I had never liked him. Now I hated him.

“Please understand that I want to go at once and that I will have no more of this kind of behaviour.”

“Oh, she is haughty, is she? Whom do you imagine you are? French scum … that’s what you are. And because I want to be kind to you … show you what a gentleman can do for you … you give yourself airs.”

“The trouble is that you are not a gentleman.”

He gripped my arm roughly. “Listen to me, my girl. All I want from you is a bit of fun. That’s what girls like you are meant for. You’ve no right in this house. Your grandmother may work for us but that does not mean that you can play the haughty lady … not unless you earn the right. Come on, Lenore, I’m lolling you I like you. Give me a kiss. There’s a lot I can show you.”

I was in a panic. I was alone with him in this dark cubbyhole. I brought up my hand sharply and hit him in the face. I had taken him by surprise and I heard his gasp of astonishment as he released me. I lost no time in slipping past him. I dashed out into the corridor. I did not stop running for I felt he might come after me. I sped up to my bedroom. I caught a glimpse of myself in a mirror. My face was flushed and my hair in disorder. I washed in cold water and was relieved to see that the red marks on my arms were beginning to disappear. I combed my hair with shaking fingers; but already I was feeling calmer.

Perhaps he had drunk too much claret cup. I could not believe that he really liked me. He felt towards me as he did towards the maids who tittered when he glanced their way and looked secretive as though there was some special understanding between them. He wished to treat me as he treated them.

I was very frightened but I must return to the ballroom for I should be missed. The party was not so large that absentees could fail to be noticed for long. I went down and slipped into the ballroom. No one looked at me in surprise. The Barkers were still alone. I went over to them.

“Did you enjoy your dance?” asked Mrs. Barker.

I smiled vaguely and asked if they would like to go in to supper.

As I conducted them to the dining room, I saw Charles. He was talking to Amelia Barrington, one of the daughters of our nearest neighbours. He looked right through me as though he did not see me.

“A fine room,” Mr. Barker was saying. “There’s a sign of damp up there. That wants looking into.”

Philip joined us with Cassie. Cassie looked a little tired. She would be glad when this was over. It must be rather sad to sit and watch the dancing without joining in. Philip talked to Mr. Barker—or rather allowed him to talk and seemed quite interested in the building trade, or perhaps he was just being polite.

He told me afterwards that he had a lot of sympathy for those people who were dedicated to their work. It was exactly how he felt about silk.

I lived through the rest of the evening in a daze. I could not get that unpleasant encounter with Charles out of my mind.

When I finally retired Grand’mere came in to talk to me. She sat on the edge of my bed in her silk wrap which, because she had made it herself, was the essence of elegance.

“And what happened?” she asked. “Did you dance?”

“A little. Mr. Barker doesn’t dance and I had to look after them.”

“Did you dance with Mr. Aldringham?”

“No … he was with Julia quite a lot.”

She looked disappointed.

“I danced with Philip just after supper, which I had with him and Cassie and the Barkers.”

Grand’mere did not look very pleased. She said: “You are tired. You must go to sleep.”

It was not so much that I wanted to sleep as to be alone to think over the evening, which meant that unpleasant encounter with Charles.

Grand’mere was disappointed. The young girl after her first ball should have been filled with excitement, bursting with the need to talk of the thrilling evening. And all I could do was think about those terrifying moments in the cubbyhole. It was not that I wanted to. I just could not help it.