I could no longer measure the passage of time with anything save my breaths and heartbeat. I tried to find something else and settled on the rhythmic sounds coming from the couple in front of me.
Christine let out a low whimper of pleasure, and I wondered what was happening. Then I recalled Nathaniel’s whisper and knew what was happening wasn’t what he wanted me to get from the experience.
You are brave and strong and fierce, he’d said in bed the night before.
I’d thought them to be romantic words, meant to soothe, to ease me into sleep. But hearing and experiencing the scene before me, they became so much more.
I saw Christine’s braveness in her supine position on the floor as she waited for Paul’s command.
I heard her strength in the sounds of Paul’s words as he softly encouraged her and eventually gave in to his own desires.
I felt the fierceness from both of them with emotions so fiery they damn near lit the playroom with their heat.
It’s you, I had whispered back to him. You let me be brave and strong and fierce. I’d meant it when I’d said it the night before, and I still believed the words to be true. Yet there was another facet added to my understanding, and as the couple before me continued, I sat in blinded awe of that knowledge.
Chapter Ten
—ABBY—
Nathaniel took my hand and I jumped at his touch, unprepared for the jolt of desire that accompanied his hand wrapping around mine. He placed my hand in my lap.
“Get in your waiting position,” he whispered, his husky voice sending another wave of longing through me.
I slipped off the pillow and moved into the position I took when in his playroom. While kneeling on the floor, I strained my ears, trying to hear what was happening. I hadn’t been in Paul’s playroom long enough to know what furniture Nathaniel was near, much less guess what he might be doing or getting.
And were Paul and Christine still in the room? Were they watching me? Nathaniel said he wouldn’t push my exhibitionism limits this weekend, but would this be considered exhibitionism? I mean, I was just kneeling.
I tried again to hear, to pick up on any voices, any whisper. Then it hit me—it didn’t matter. Didn’t matter what Nathaniel had planned. He was in control. I gave him that power, and to worry would be second-guessing him.
If Paul and Christine were in the room, I wanted my submission to be a mirror of what I had just seen play out before me. I realized then that I didn’t even care if Paul and Christine were in the room. I wanted them to see. Wanted to show them how proud I was to serve my master.
Bare feet padded to me.
“Stand up, Abigail,” Nathaniel said.
I scrambled as gracefully as possible to my feet, but the change in position, combined with the blindfold, disoriented me, and I swayed a bit.
He caught me, slipped his arms around my shoulders. “Steady, my lovely.” He didn’t move his hands, but kept his hold on me. “I need you to trust me.”
Yes. Anything.
“Paul and Christine have left. Only the two of us are in here.”
My heart pounded. We were alone. Alone. Oh, the things he could do when we were alone.
“You are to answer any question I ask immediately and honestly,” he said. “Understand?”
“Yes, Master.”
Master.
The word meant so much more now that I’d watched Paul and Christine.
Master.
I shivered in the new appreciation of its meaning. Every time I spoke it, I renewed my commitment to him. Reminded him I was with him by choice. Had given control to him. Confirmed I wanted him.
Had a six-letter word ever carried so much meaning?
He took my hand. “Come with me.”
We walked. I wasn’t sure where we were going. We weren’t leaving, were we? I didn’t want to leave. I wanted to stay in the playroom. I wanted Nathaniel to take me, to use me, to . . .
But it was his choice, and if he wanted us to leave, he’d have good reason.
He pulled us to a stop. I didn’t think it was near the door. It was hard to get my bearings, but I thought we were near the wall opposite the door.
“Undress,” he said, dropping my hand.
I’d undressed for him numerous times, as both his lover and his submissive, but it seemed different somehow. More intense.
I imagined him watching as I hooked my thumbs into my waistband.
“Top first.”
I reached behind my back and unhooked my bra. It fell to the floor and, almost immediately, his hands were on me. Walking me backward until my back hit something wooden.
His thumbs rubbed my nipples, and I bit the inside of my cheek. His mouth ran softly across my neck. “You did so well this morning. I’m so proud of you.”
I couldn’t tell what made me happier—his hands and mouth on me or his praise.
“I’m so proud. I decided to give you a little reward.” His hands took one of my wrists and locked it into a soft cuff above my head. He repeated the action to the other wrist, and his teeth grazed my earlobe. “By fucking you good and hard while you’re bound to Paul’s cross.”
Ah, hell, yes.
While he talked, his hands moved—over my shoulders, across my chest, tweaking a nipple, stroking my belly. I became a quivering mass of need, spurred along by his deep, husky voice.
“I do have one of these in my own playroom,” he said, oblivious to my desires, or maybe he knew exactly what he was doing. “Next time we’re in there, I’ll bind you with your back facing me.” His touch grew rougher. “Your ass completely exposed.” He grabbed the fabric at my hips and jerked it down, baring me completely. “Would you like that, Abigail?”
I gasped as the cool air hit my aching flesh. His fingers grazed my clit.
“Yes, please, Master,” I said in a half whisper, half groan.
Fingertips traced lazy circles across my bare flesh, dipping occasionally into my wetness. “You enjoyed the rabbit fur. I think it’s time to move up to suede.”
I shivered just thinking about offering my backside to his flogger.
“But for now,” he said, spreading my legs, “we have other business to attend to. Wouldn’t you say?”
He was deliberately baiting me. Between the promises of what waited for me in his playroom, his hands on my body, and the anticipation of what he was getting ready to do, I could hardly form a coherent thought.
“Whatever you wish, Master.”
He chuckled. “I’m so glad you see things my way.”
With one movement, he picked my legs up and thrust into me. My backside hit the wood behind me with a force that drove him deeper.
“Don’t hold back,” he said, and I wrapped my legs around him. “This room’s soundproof.” He pulled back, rocked into me again, and I let out a loud moan. “I think.”
Part of me wanted Paul and Christine to hear. After all, it only seemed fair. I wanted them to know what Nathaniel did to me, how I responded to him, how he commanded my every move, my every thought and, it seemed, sometimes my every breath, during our weekends.
He thrust into me again, and Paul and Christine left my thoughts completely. I concentrated only on the feel of him as he drove me closer and closer to release. He shifted my legs, angled his hips, and hit that sweet spot deep inside me.
I couldn’t hold back anything then. I yelled.
He continued his thrusts, stroking inside me again and again, until I was dizzy with pleasure. His breaths came in short gasps, and he moved a hand between our bodies.
I let out another yelp as he rubbed my clit. “Please, Master,” I begged.
His voice was tight. “Please, what?”
Oh, God, his fingers. His cock. Being vulnerable and at his mercy. “Please, Master. I can’t hold on anymore.”
He thrust again. “Come, then.”
My climax swept through me with the next pass of his hand.
“Hold on,” he said, taking my hips and pushing me against the wall, legs still wrapped around his waist. With quick, deep movements, he entered me over and over, driving himself toward his own release.
I felt another climax building and, as he spilled himself deep inside me, his movements caused me to come again.
For the next few minutes, he rested against me, breathing hard and heavy. When we’d both recovered somewhat, he gently lowered my legs to the floor. He quickly unlocked my wrists and spent several minutes rubbing my arms and shoulders.
Then, finally, his fingers reached behind my head and the blindfold fell away. I met his eyes for the first time since we’d left the hallway to enter the playroom.
It was there.
The intense longing, passion, and love I’d wondered about was there. I sucked in a breath.
“Are you okay?” he asked.
“Yes, Master.” I stood and basked in wonder at the emotion in his eyes. “So much more than okay,” I whispered.
After, he took me back to the guest room. I sat in his arms while he leaned back against the headboard. As much as I wanted to talk after our morning, I was glad he held me—I still felt more comfortable touching as we talked.
“I want you to be completely honest with me now,” he said, and I relaxed further into his embrace. “What do you think so far?”
“I have so many thoughts, so much information to process,” I said. “But first, thank you for setting this up. I was worried at first, but it’s been so helpful.”
“How so?”
“Everything,” I said, not sure how else to describe it. “Starting with Christine. She’s so confident, so sure of herself.”
I heard the worry in his voice. “Have you had doubts about yourself?”
I dropped my head, and my hair fell forward. “Not when I’m with you. It’s when I’m at work, or talking with Felicia. Even when I’m around Elaina and Todd. I used to wonder if there was something wrong with us.”
“And now?” he asked, voice thick with emotion.
“I don’t wonder anymore,” I said, wanting to reassure him. “Seeing Paul and Christine, the life they’ve built. I’m not ready for children and everything, but I see now that when I am . . . I’ll be okay.”
“We’ll be okay,” he corrected.
My heart leapt at the underlying meaning of his words, and I turned my head to kiss him. “We’ll be okay,” I repeated.
“Anything else?” he asked, stroking my hair.
“So much.” I leaned back into his embrace once more. “Christine helped me understand how important it is to give you feedback. I see now it’s not telling you what to do.”
“I’m glad someone finally got that point across.”
“I never wanted you to think I was telling you what to do.”
“There’s a world of difference between telling me what to do and telling me what you like or want more of,” he said in the firm but gentle voice I loved so much.
“I know. Christine said if it was easier, I could tell you on a weekday what I’d like to do.”
“Or you could tell me on a weekend.”
I shook my head. “I can’t imagine doing that.”
He was quiet, and I wondered if he’d change the subject altogether, but then he spoke again. “What if I gave you another safe word?”
“What?”
“We could add ‘green.’”
“What would that do?”
He took a deep breath. “If you wanted me to speed up or push you harder.”
“Really?” I asked, excited about the prospect.
“Yes. If you feel more comfortable saying ‘green’ instead of telling me directly,” he said. “But I will still ask for you to give me detailed feedback later.”
I wondered why he hadn’t given me green weeks ago when we discussed the safe words, but then decided he probably hadn’t thought I’d ever want him to push me or that I’d feel comfortable using it.
“I like it,” I said. “Let’s use it.”
“What else did you and Christine talk about?” he asked, instead of talking further about safe words.
“Listening to her talk about the twenty-four-seven relationship she had with Paul made me curious. I wonder how something like that would be.”
He stiffened behind me.
“Just for a week or so,” I hastened to add. “Not for an extended period or all the time.”
He spoke carefully. “If, at some point in the future, you still want to explore something like that, I would not be opposed to extending our weekend play. But only for a specified period of time and only when you can prove to me you’re able and willing to give me feedback.”
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