I'd go with you. That's what it's all about. I don't find any of that so shocking, or such an imposition. It sounds like fun to me. It would give me some great ideas for my new ventures in commercial fiction.

Be serious. It's like having half a dozen unruly teenaged children.

I think I could survive it. Do I look that delicate to you? I've always been pretty flexible. This would be good training for when we have kids, who do all those same things, or hopefully not, if you bring them up right.

What are you saying to me? She looked totally confused, and somewhat miserable. But these were nice miseries to have, and she knew that.

That I want to be with you, that I want to spend time with you, and see what happens. The same thing is happening to me that's happening to you. I'm falling in love with you, and I don't know why, but I don't want to lose it either, or give it all back to a guy who I think doesn't appreciate you, or deserve you. He gently pushed a lock of her silky hair away with his fingers, and looked into the eyes he had known only for two days, but which trusted him so much already. What I don't want to do is make you unhappy, or pull you apart. Don't do anything right now. It'll all work itself out. We'll see what happens when we go back to L.A., he said reasonably, and she nodded, and then she looked up at him with terror.

What if I decide we can't see each other there? she asked. It wasn't going to work if they hung around kissing each other all the time. Brandon certainly wasn't going to like that.

I hope you don't decide that, he said calmly.

I don't know what to do, she said, feeling like a child, and he smiled at her, took her key from her hands, and opened the door for her.

I've got some ideas, but I don't think any of them are appropriate given the situation. He kissed her on the lips again, gave her a small shove inside, and handed her the key, without ever leaving the hallway. What about tomorrow?

I'm meeting with Haverton and the promoters again, and I've got a couple of other meetings uptown. And then she remembered a dinner meeting she'd made with an attorney who couldn't see her any other time. It was going to be a long day, and she wasn't going to have much time to see him. I don't think I'll be through till nine, maybe later.

I'll call you then. He leaned toward her and kissed her again, and she felt peaceful as she closed the door to her room, and he went back downstairs to the lobby.

She thought about calling Brandon then, and this time she knew she couldn't. It would have been too dishonest calling him, pretending that she was sitting in her room, thinking of him. She knew she had to stop seeing Jeff, or at least kissing him, but the thought of giving it all up was far too painful. Maybe she could just treat it as a small, unimportant interlude, a few kisses, and then everything would be back to normal once they went back to California. She was still telling herself that an hour later when Jeff called. She jumped when she heard the phone, and she almost didn't answer it. She was sure it was Brandon. He hadn't called that day, and there had been no messages from home. And when she picked up the phone, she felt instantly guilty.

Hello? She felt like a criminal as she held the phone, and at the other end Jeff laughed.

Oh, God, don't ever try to play poker. You sound awful.

That's how I feel. Jeff, I feel so guilty.

I thought you would. Look, you haven't done anything. The damage can be repaired. You haven't broken his trust, and if you really feel better that way, we can take a breather. He offered it to her, but it cost him dearly to make the sacrifice. As often as she'd let him, he wanted to see her.

I think we should, take a breather, I mean, she said unhappily. I just can't do this.

You're an honest woman. It's a damn shame, he teased, but he didn't want to tear her apart. The thought of not seeing her again, though, almost killed him.

I can't see you tomorrow night, she said, suddenly firm, as he felt a vise squeeze his heart.

I understand. Call, if you change your mind. She had all his numbers. Will you be all right? He barely knew her, but he worried about her.

I'm fine. I just need to get my equilibrium again. The last two days have been completely crazy.

And very nice, he added, longing for her lips again, and afraid he'd never have them. He had called to say good night, and instead he'd given her the opportunity to run away, which was not what he had intended.

The last two days were wonderful, she said, thinking of the skating, the hansom cab, and kissing him in the snow. He had completely bowled her over. And now she had to concentrate on real life, and going back to Brandon. I'll call you, she said, choking on her own words, thinking of Jeff again, and not Brandon. Good night, Jeff.

Good night. He never told her why he'd called. He had called just to tell her that he loved her.

Chapter 7

Wednesday seemed endless to Allegra as she made her rounds. She had some appointments, uptown and down, a late lunch, and finally a last-minute dinner with a tax lawyer who did work for one of her clients. It was a long day, and as she walked down Madison Avenue from the restaurant, to get some air, she thought of Jeff for the thousandth time since that morning.

She had held firm, and it had almost killed her, but she hadn't called him. She couldn't, their feelings were too raw, the power of what they felt too strong. It was too dangerous to play with the fire that drove them.

And as she walked along, she looked casually into a bookstore, and there he was. His face on the back of his book stared at her from the window. She stopped, and looked deep into the eyes that said so much, and in spite of herself, she walked inside and bought one.

Back in her room, she set it on the table next to her, and looked at him, and then finally she put it in her briefcase. There was no message from him, nor anyone else. A stack of faxes had come in, and she had had long conferences on the phone with Bram Morrison and Malachi O'Donovan that morning. Carmen had left a cryptic message with Alice that she was okay, and everyone else seemed to be holding their own. Only Bram had a problem there had been an odd threat against one of his children. It had come by phone, and the Spanish housekeeper had scarcely understood what the man said, but it didn't sound good. Bram had called the police himself, and had put bodyguards on both his children. It was just as she had explained to Jeff, the problems were limitless, contracts, threats, decisions, tours, licensing, exploitation of all kinds, and the endless contracts.

But she found no solace in her work tonight. All she could think about was Jeff, and then, finally, at ten o'clock, he called her.

How was your day? He tried to sound non-threatening, but he was so nervous, his palms were wet. Just hearing her voice and knowing he couldn't see her made him unhappy.

Fine. She told him about Bram, both the tour and the threat, and Jeff thought that the threat against Bram's kids was disgusting.

Those people are sick. They should all go to jail. How was the rest of your day? he asked, and she looked mournfully across the room at her briefcase.

I bought your book.

You did? He sounded pleased. It cheered him up to think she'd actually thought about him. What made you buy it?

I wanted to have your picture. She sounded like a little kid, and he laughed, and wished he could put his arms around her.

I could come by and show you the real thing, he said hopefully, and this time she laughed.

I don't think we should.

How's Brandon? he finally asked after a pause. He hated the sound of the guy's name by now, but he was curious if she'd called him.

I called a little while ago. He was out. I'm sure he's all wrapped up in his trial.

What about us, Allegra? Jeff asked softly. He hadn't been able to concentrate on anything, think of anything, make sense at all since that morning.

I guess we're on hold, until we learn to control ourselves, she said, and he chuckled.

I'll buy you a little stun gun and you can zap me every time I get near you. You'd have to use it a lot though.

I'm as bad as you are, she said, still sounding guilty.

Don't be so hard on yourself, for heaven's sake. You're only human. And you did all the right things. You stopped me. You sent me away. You told me you wouldn't see me again. He counted her virtues, hating every one of them, but respecting her for her courage and ethics. She was determined to be faithful.

Yeah, I did all that, she said, correcting him, after I kissed you, repeatedly, I might add.

Listen, counselor, kissing is not a crime in this country. Take it easy. This is not Victorian England. You did all the right stuff, you should be pleased with yourself, he reminded her, still wishing she were less faithful to Brandon.

I'm not pleased. I'm miserable and I miss you, she confessed, and they both laughed.

I'm glad to hear it, he said, beaming. How does tomorrow look, or does that make any difference?

Pretty busy, and no, it doesn't.

I figured that, he said, sounding depressed. When are you going back?

Friday.

So am I. Can we at least fly back together? I promise not to do anything outrageous on the airplane. She laughed at the idea, but then that didn't seem smart to her. Why torture themselves? They obviously couldn't keep their hands off each other.

I don't think so, Jeff. Maybe lunch in L.A. sometime.

Come on, he complained, that's bullshit. We deserve better than that. Can't we be friends, at least? This doesn't make sense. You're not a nun, you're a woman. And you're not even married to the guy. And his guess was she never would be. But by the time she figured that out and got free again, God only knew what he'd be doing, or where he'd be living. Timing was important in life, and he had no intention of waiting to see her again until she gave up Brandon. At the rate she was going it could take years. Allegra, just see me once, before you go back. Please. I need to see you.

You don't need to, you want to, she argued.

I'll make a real nuisance of myself if you don't. I'll come to the hotel and lie on the floor in the lobby. I'll bring the hansom cab back and bring the horse through the revolving door. He always made her laugh, and he made her happy. What are you doing to us, you silly girl? What's this all about?

Keeping my word. Living up to a commitment.

That guy doesn't know the meaning of it, and you know it. He doesn't deserve this. And neither do I. At least let me take you to the airport.

I'll call you in L.A., she said firmly.

And say what? That you won't see me because of Brandon?

You said you wouldn't push me, she reminded him, feeling frazzled.

I lied, he responded calmly.

You're impossible.

Go read my book, or look at the picture. I'll call you tomorrow night.

I'll be out. She had to try to discourage him, but she really didn't want to.

Then I'll call you later.

Why are you doing this?

Because I love you. There was a long silence at her end, and Jeff waited and closed his eyes, knowing he shouldn't have said it. All right, I don't love you. That's insane. I like you very much, and I want to get to know you. There was a small, silvery laugh at her end. You know, Allegra Steinberg, you're driving me insane. And how are you going to represent me if you won't see me?

You don't have a deal right now anyway, she reminded him, and he sounded outraged.

Then get me one. What kind of a lawyer are you?

A crazy one, thanks to my newest client.

Go away, go back to him, he played with her, I don't want to see you anyway. And besides, you're a lousy skater.

Yes, I am, she agreed with him, laughing again, but they both treasured memories from the night before when they'd gone skating. And as she thought of it, she found it hard to believe that it had been only a day since she'd seen him. It seemed like an eternity. How was she going to survive in L.A. if she didn't see him?

You're a lovely skater, he said warmly. You're a lot of wonderful things. And I suppose one of those virtues is faithful. I just hope I'm lucky enough to get someone like you one day. The women in my life always seem to take the broad interpretation of fidelity to include at least half a dozen people, or most of the adult male inhabitants of a small city. Anyway, I'll call you tomorrow night, Miss Steinberg, he persisted politely.

Good night, Mr. Hamilton, she said primly. Have a lovely day tomorrow. I'll speak to you in the evening. She couldn't tell him not to call; she liked talking to him too much, and it gave them both something to look forward to, which was fortunate because the next day proved to be dreadful.