It was important to Hitler too, and his friends. This is different. It's petty and stupid, and social.’ She thinks it makes her aristocratic to hate everyone who's not like her. It doesn't mean shit. And you know I don't feel that way. I don't care if you bring our kids up Jewish or Buddhist. I love you, whatever your name is. It's going to be Hamilton anyway pretty soon, so why worry about it? His mother made him desperately uncomfortable, and she could see it. She actually felt sorry for him, and she wasn't nearly as mad as she knew she should be, on Simon's behalf. It was mostly pathetic.

How did you ever stand it here, Jeff? She's not exactly open or warm, or easy to deal with.

She used to be, he tried to defend her, or at least a little bit more anyway. She got all closed up when my father died she was miserable without him. But Allegra could never imagine her much more open than she was now. She was a viper.

Weren't you lonely being with her? Allegra couldn't imagine how he stood it.

Sometimes. One gets used to it. Her whole family was like that. They're all gone now.

What did they do when they got together, make ice cubes?

She's not as bad as all that, he said, zipping up Allegra's black linen dress, just as his mother knocked, and he knew he shouldn't be there. He slipped into the bathroom after signaling Allegra not to give him away. And she opened the door to his mother, who had come to tell her dinner was served, and perhaps to atone for her earlier comments, she told Allegra she looked very pretty. The truth was she liked her much better now that she knew her real name wasn't Steinberg.

Allegra followed her downstairs to dinner, and Jeff seemed to appear from nowhere. And miraculously, they survived the dinner, mostly by staying on safe subjects, like art, and European travel, and opera. It was the most boring conversation Allegra thought she'd ever had, and fortunately after dinner, Mrs. Hamilton went to bed. That night they went out to the beach and swam, and then they lay on the sand, and he held her.

You haven't had much fun here, have you?

She rolled over on her back and sighed in the moonlight. Did he want her to be honest or not? She was quiet while she was deciding.

It was different. It was the most diplomatic thing she could think of.

Very different from your family, he acknowledged. He felt guilty now for having brought her, but she did have to meet his mother. Your family is so warm and affectionate and outgoing. Everyone's always talking and laughing, and telling some crazy story. I loved being with them from the first moment I met them. He looked ashamed now of his mother. Even he had to admit that she'd been awful to Allegra. But looking at him, seeing how badly he felt, she suddenly didn't mind it.

She reminds me a lot of my father. I don't mean that nastily. But it's that same Eastern, uptight, upper-class inability to feel or express or give. It's all about constant disapproval. He has never approved of me once in my entire life. And it used to kill me. Now I don't care. And she's the same way. I would have to fight and beg and crawl for her approval, if I wanted it, and I'd probably never get it. All the fun for those people is in the withholding. It's a special art. And she's got it down pat, just like he does.

She used to be hard on me too, but nothing like she was with you this weekend. I've never seen her like this, he confessed, miserable about how his mother had behaved with his fianc+¬e.

I'm a big threat, Allegra reminded him. I've stolen you away from New York, and now from her. She doesn't have much else. It was understandable, but it didn't make Allegra like her any better. Maybe she'll warm up later, she said, more to cheer Jeff up than because she believed it.

They slept in the pink guest room together again that night, but this time he set his alarm for seven-thirty, and went back to his own bedroom where he showered and dressed and then packed. And then he woke Allegra. Enough was enough. They had done what they came for. He had booked them on an early flight. And after he got Allegra down to breakfast in her seersucker pantsuit, he told both women that they were leaving. He said they had to be on a one-o'clock flight, which meant they had to leave Southampton at ten o'clock that morning. He explained to them that he had called the director and they were having trouble with the movie, so Jeff had to return early.

What's wrong? Allegra asked, looking upset for him. She had slept like a baby, and she felt resilient again, and able to take more abuse from his mother. But as soon as she left the room, Jeff whispered to Allegra that they were leaving because they'd been there long enough and they had done their duty. Even he couldn't stand it a moment longer.

Are you sure? she whispered, leaning over the cinnamon rolls, and he nodded. She didn't want to tear him away from his mother, but he was far more anxious to leave than she was.

As they left, Jeff gave his mother the wedding date again, and told her they were expecting to see her there. And Jeff hugged her tight, and she almost responded but not quite, and he gave a little bonus to Lizzie, and then Allegra almost fell over laughing when she saw the car come for them. He had ordered the longest limousine they had. It was long and white, and it had a bar, TV, and God only knew what else inside, and Mrs. Hamilton looked as though she wanted to die rather than have it in her driveway. But Jeff looked quite happy about it.

We use them all the time in California, Mom. We'll try and get you one for the wedding, he said with a straight face as he kissed her good-bye again. He handed their bags to the driver, and then they took off with a last wave, and she stood, looking like a tragic figure in her driveway. Allegra had understood correctly that she was the loneliest woman alive, but she was also the meanest. And to Allegra, she wasn't worth the trouble.

Jeff had a history with her, but Allegra knew she never would. And she also knew that after this weekend Jeff would never push her to it. They had done their best, they had paid their respects, but it was hopeless.

I was thinking, Jeff said quietly, as they drove back toward the expressway, maybe we should have yarmulkes at the wedding.

You're disgusting and irreverent. ‘ Will you stop? And how could you get this car? She laughed at him. Have you no respect for anything? She accused, but they were both laughing and he was kissing her, and he was dying to get her home and make love to her. Only his real sense of propriety kept him from making love to her in the outrageous white limo.

But they both acknowledged silently, by the way they clung to each other and the way they cuddled, that it had been a hideous weekend.

I'm sorry, Allegra. I don't know why I didn't realize what it would be like. I must have had denial. Maybe I should go to Dr. Green for a while, to pay penance.

I think it's remarkable you survived her for all these years, Allegra said admiringly. Mary Hamilton was the coldest woman she'd ever met. And Jeff was completely different.

I've never paid a lot of attention to her, and my father was a lot like Simon.

That must have saved you, she said matter-of-factly.

They talked about other things all the way back, and they both wanted to kneel and kiss the ground when they got back to California, not to mention when they got to Malibu. And the first thing they did was tear each other's clothes off. They never even made it into bed and wound up on the couch in the living room, and he had never made love to her with such fervor. The repressive atmosphere they'd been in for two days had almost driven them crazy. And Allegra had never been as happy in her life, to be home again, to be away from there, and for a while anyway, to have seen the last of his mother.

Chapter 17

On Monday morning, after their weekend in New York, Jeff left for the set at three A.M., as usual, and Allegra went through a stack of faxes and papers. They were both in high spirits and happy to be back, especially after the night before. But Allegra frowned when she came across an urgent fax from Carmen's producer. He said that she was so depressed she could barely function on the set. And on Friday, she had gone completely berserk over the story in the tabloids about the abortion.

It was six o'clock by the time Allegra read the fax, and she knew that Carmen would already be on the set by then, or was supposed to be, and Allegra decided to drive over and see her.

She organized her paperwork to take it with her to read on the set, if necessary, and by six-thirty, she was gone. At seven, she was sitting with Carmen. But it was just as the producer said. Carmen was a disaster. She had sat home all weekend and cried over the tabloid story, and she was still in a deep depression about losing the baby.

You need to see a therapist, Allegra said calmly, as Carmen blew her nose for the thousandth time that morning.

They can't change anything. My baby's still gone, and these awful people print lies about me.

They print lies about everyone. You can't let that ruin your life and Alan's. You have to show them you don't care, and you have to show Alan you can take it. Do you think he wants to be stuck with a wimp for the rest of his life, who's buckling at the knees every time someone takes a potshot at you? Carmen, that's pathetic. She gave her a pep talk for hours, and watched her on the set. She was depressed, but she was still doing a good job whenever she was on camera. They had to give her that much.

Allegra was still there at ten o'clock, when someone came to tell her, on the closed set, that there was an urgent call being put through by her office. When she took the call in a soundproof room, it was Alice on the line. She said that she had an emergency call from Delilah Williams, the wedding consultant.

She's calling me here} Allegra asked in disbelief.

No, I am, Alice apologized. But she said it was an emergency of the highest order.

Is she out of her mind?

It sounds like a good possibility. Shall I put her through?

All right. As long as I'm here, go ahead, but don't track me down for her again, just take a message.

Allegra? The giant crane in purple intoned into the phone, sounding more ominous than anyone Allegra had ever heard. You haven't answered a single one of my phone calls. Her reproach was that of an irate lover. I know nothing about the cake, the tent, the music for the church, or the reception, for that matter, nor the color for the bridesmaids. She was clearly outraged. But not nearly so much as Allegra, who was absolutely livid.

Do you realize that you've called me on a closed set? Do you have any idea how inconvenient, not to mention inappropriate, that is? And the reason I haven't called you is that I've been too busy getting clients out of jail, into concert tours, and up on their feet for their movies. And the last thing I need is you bugging me about the bridesmaids.

Do you even know who they are yet? She sounded incensed, but Allegra was more so. She had work to do, and clients to take care of. She couldn't be bothered with this nonsense.

I have chosen the bridesmaids, Allegra conceded to her, unable to believe that this was their conversation, and it had been considered an emergency of the highest order. Did that refer to the cake, or the music? I'll have my secretary send you a list of the bridesmaids' names, Allegra said darkly, furious at having to be bothered.

We need to know their sizes, Delilah Williams said with equal determination. She was used to dealing with people like Allegra, doctors, lawyers, psychiatrists, celebrities, actresses, none of them capable of putting on a wedding they all thought they were too busy and important to plan one. But she could do it for them, and make them behave, if she had to. Do you have their sizes? she said in a voice that Allegra thought only female impersonators could muster.

Please have my secretary ask them.

Certainly, Delilah said, satisfied now with the communication. I can't believe you haven't found a dress yet, by the way. You'll really have to try harder.

I'm going back to work, Allegra barked at her, frustrated by how much the woman got on her nerves. She didn't want to be rude to her, but there seemed to be times when there was no option.

As soon as they hung up, she called her mother at the show, and she realized she was trembling when she heard her mother. If you don't call that woman off, Mom, I'm going to kill her.

What woman? The only one she could think of who deserved that, in her mind, was Elizabeth Coleson. But she didn't think Allegra knew about her.