And then, dialing from memory, she called a Beverly Hills number that half the women in America would have given their right arm for. They had been friends since they were fourteen, boyfriend and girlfriend for a brief six months in their sophomore year in high school, and best friends ever since then. He answered, as he always did, unless he was occupied or out, on the second ring, and she smiled at the familiar voice, that to all ears but her own sounded intolerably sexy.

Hi, Alan, it's only me. Don't get too excited. She always smiled when she talked to him, he was that kind of person.

At this hour? He sounded horrified to hear from her, except that she knew he usually got up fairly early. He had just finished a film in Bangkok and he'd been home for three weeks. She also knew that he had just finished a romance with British film star Fiona Harvey. She had heard it from his agent. What did you do last night? Get arrested? Are you calling to get bailed out?

Precisely. Pick me up at the Beverly Hills police station in twenty minutes.

Not on your life. All lawyers belong in jail. As far as I'm concerned, you can stay there. He was thirty years old, with the face and body of a Greek god, but he also happened to be intelligent, and a genuinely decent person. He was one of Allegra's closest friends and the only man she could think of to take to the awards with her. Thinking of Alan Carr as her fallback date somehow made her laugh. Most of the women in America would have died just to meet him.

What are you doing Saturday? she asked bluntly, swinging her foot like a kid, and trying not to think of Brandon, or let him upset her.

None of your business, thank you very much, he said, pretending to sound outraged.

Do you have a date?

Why? Are you going to fix me up with another one of your scary partners? I think the last one was bad enough, you witch!

Oh, come on, you shit. That wasn't a date and you know it. You needed an expert on Peruvian law, and that's what she does, so don't give me any garbage. In fact, I happen to know that she gave you about three thousand dollars' worth of legal advice for free that night, so stop bitching.

Who's bitching? He sounded demure and pretended to be shocked by her language.

You are, and you didn't answer my question.

I have a date with a fourteen-year-old girl who will probably wind me up in jail. Why?

I need a favor. She could tell him anything without artifice or embarrassment; she loved him like a brother.

Yeah. So what else is new? You always need a favor. Who wants my autograph this time?

No one. Absolutely not a soul. I need your body.

Now, there's an intriguing offer. More than once in the past fourteen years, since their last attempt at romance, he had told himself that he should reach out to her again, but she was so like a sister to him that he could never quite bring himself to do it. Yet, she was beautiful, intelligent, and he knew and liked her better than any other woman on the planet. But maybe that was the problem. What exactly do you have in mind for this beaten up, scarred old body?

Nothing pleasant, I swear. And then she laughed. Actually, it won't be too bad. It should be fun. I need a date for the Golden Globes. Mom and Dad are both nominees, and so is Carmen Connors, one of my clients. And I've got two other clients who're contenders. I have to go, and I really don't want to go alone. She was honest with him, she always was, and he loved that.

What happened to what's his name? Alan knew perfectly well what his name was, and he had also told Allegra several times that he didn't like him. He thought Brandon was cold and pompous. And she hadn't talked to him for weeks after the first time he said it. Since then she had gotten used to it, because Alan never missed an opportunity to tell her what he thought, but this time he spared her.

He has to go to San Francisco.

How nice of him, Al. What great timing. Great guy. To see his wife?

No, you asshole, to see his kids. He's starting a trial on Monday.

I'm not sure I understand the connection, he said coolly.

He won't be able to see the kids for a couple of weeks, so he wants to go up and see them.

Have they canceled all the nights from San Francisco to L.A.? Why can't the little darlings come here to see their Daddy?

Their mom won't let them.

Well, that leaves you up shit creek, doesn't it?

Yeah, it does, which is why I called you. Can you make it? she asked hopefully. It really would be fun to go with him. It was always fun being with Alan. It was like being kids again, and they usually told a lot of jokes, laughed a lot, and got pretty rowdy.

It's a sacrifice, but I guess if I really have to, I could change some plans’ . He said with a sigh, and she laughed.

You bullshitter, I'll bet you don't have a thing to do.

I do too. Actually, I was going bowling.

You? She laughed even harder. You wouldn't last five minutes before you'd be mobbed. There's no way you can go bowling.

I'll take you sometime and prove it.

That's a deal. I'd love it, she beamed. As usual, he'd bailed her out. She didn't have to go to the awards alone. Alan Carr was one friend she could always count on.

What time shall I pick you up, Cinderella? He sounded pleased with the arrangement. He always enjoyed being with her.

It starts pretty early. Six o'clock?

I'll be there.

Thanks, Alan, she said, and meant it. I really appreciate it.

Don't be so goddamn grateful, for chrissake. You deserve someone better than me you deserve that jerk to take you, if that's what you want. So don't thank me. Just think how lucky I am. That's what you want to think. What you need is some attitude. How the hell did you ever get so humble? You're too smart to be like that. I'd love to teach that guy a thing or two. He doesn't know how lucky he is. San Francisco, my ass ‘ Alan was muttering and Allegra was laughing, but she felt a thousand times better.

I've got to go to work. See you Saturday. And do me a favor, try to stay sober, will ya?

Don't be such a nag. No wonder you can't get a date. They teased each other. He drank a fair amount, but he rarely got drunk, and never misbehaved. The two just liked to play. But she felt human again as she drove to work. Alan had really lifted her spirits.

All day she felt better about things than she had early that morning. She met with some of the promoters for Bram's tour, worked out some security details for Carmen, met with another client about her children's trusts, and by the end of the afternoon she was surprised to realize that she had forgotten all about Brandon. It still bothered her that he wasn't going to the Golden Globes with her, but at least she didn't feel as devastated about it as she had that morning. And as she thought about it, she realized now, she'd been foolish. He had a right to see his kids. And maybe he was right. Maybe they both had to think of their careers, do what they had to do and then get together for whatever time was left over. It wasn't a very romantic way to live, but maybe for the moment it was all they had room for. Maybe that wasn't so bad after all, and maybe, as he suggested from time to time, she was just too demanding.

Is that what you think? Dr. Green asked her that afternoon when they met for their weekly appointment.

I don't know what I think, Allegra admitted. I know what I think I want, but then when I talk to Brandon, I feel as though I'm being unreasonable and I'm asking too much of him. I'm not sure which is right, or if I just scare him.

That's an interesting possibility, Dr. Green said coolly. Why do you think you scare him?

Because he's not ready for as much as I want from a relationship, or as much as I want to give it.

You think you're ready for more? Why? Dr. Green asked her with interest.

I think I'd really like to live with him, and I think he's scared to death to.

What makes you say that? Dr. Green was beginning to think Allegra was making headway.

I think he's scared, because he wants to go home to his own apartment at night. He really doesn't want to spend the night at my place if he can help it.

Does he want you to go with him? Is it territorial?

No. Allegra shook her head slowly. He says he needs his own space. Once he told me that when we wake up together in the morning, it makes him feel married. And that wasn't a good experience for him, so he doesn't want it again.

He has to work that out, or else be alone for the rest of his life. It's his choice to make. But his choices will affect your life with him, Allegra.

I know that. But I don't want to rush him.

Two years is not a rush, Dr. Green said, looking disapproving. It's time for him to make some changes. Unless you're happy with the status quo, she said, always giving Allegra options. If this is what you want, then we have no complaints, do we? Is it?

I don't know; I don't think so, Allegra said, looking nervous. I'd like more. I don't like it when he withdraws to his own world. Or even when he goes to San Francisco without me. And then she admitted something that made her feel stupid. I worry about his ex-wife sometimes, that she'll get him back. She's still very dependent on him. I think that's all part of what makes him shy away from commitment.

Well, he'd better get his act together one of these days, don't you think so, Allegra?

I guess so, she said cautiously. But I don't think it would be right to give him ultimatums.

Why not? Dr. Green asked bravely.

He wouldn't like it.

And? She pushed harder, just as she wanted Allegra to push Brandon.

He might end the relationship if I push him too hard.

And what would that do? Dr. Green asked her.

I don't know, Allegra said, looking frightened. She was a strong woman, and yet she never was strong enough with Brandon, just as she hadn't been with the two men before him. She was afraid to be, which was why she still saw Dr. Green after nearly four years now.

If the relationship ended, it might free you up to meet someone who would be more willing to make a commitment. Would that be so terrible?

Probably not. Allegra smiled anxiously. But pretty scary.

Sure. But you'd get over it. Sitting here waiting forever for Brandon to unlock the pearly gates may do you a lot more harm than a little fear over meeting someone more open to loving you, Allegra. It's something to think about, isn't it? she asked, boring into Allegra's eyes with her own, and then, with her usual warm smile, the session was over.

In some ways, it was like going to a Gypsy fortune-teller. As she left, Allegra tried to run through in her mind everything she'd said, and there were always things she remembered, and others that she tried desperately to recall but had forgotten. But on the whole, the sessions did her good, and they had done a lot of work together over the years about her penchant for finding men who were unable, or unwilling, to love her. It was an old, old pattern in her life, and one she didn't like to think about, or even talk about. She hoped that, after all this time, she was improving.

She went back to her office after that, tied up some loose ends, and her last meeting of the day was with Malachi O'Donovan, a new client. He was a friend of Bram Morrison's, her vastly successful rock star client, and this one was less so, but also very important. He was from Liverpool originally, but had long since become a citizen by marrying an American woman. His wife's name was Rainbow, and they had two children, named Swallow and Bird. Allegra was used to it. Very little that was done or said in the rock world surprised her.

O'Donovan had a checkered history of arrests and drugs, a couple of assaults, and some messy lawsuits. He had spent a little time in jail over the years, and a lot of time with lawyers, and he seemed very intrigued with Allegra. He responded to her sexually at first, but when she ignored it, and purposefully stuck to business with him, eventually he settled down, and they had a very interesting conversation. And she thought she could help him with some of his legal problems, most of which were stemming from a world tour he was trying to organize, but he was drowning in red tape and legal issues.

We'll see what we can do, Mai. I'll be in touch, after I get some of your files from your current attorney.

Don't bother with my last lawyer, he told her with a shrug as he left. He's an asshole, he said in a rich brogue.

We need his records anyway. She smiled at him warmly. I'll call you as soon as I know something.