I can't believe it, she said to Jeff when they went back to Malibu that morning. It was already noon by the time they got home. But she had wanted to go to the beach and see it. I can't believe he's gone. She just stood there and cried as she thought of him and all that had happened that night, and Jeff held her.

We live in a crazy world, Jeff said softly, full of crazy people. People who want to take your soul, or your life or your money, or your reputation, whatever they can get. He was crying too, deeply moved by the senselessness of Bram's death, and the wife and children who would miss him.

A lunatic had taken Bram's life, but not his soul. His soul would be free forever. And Allegra sat on the beach and cried, remembering him and when they had met, and all their quiet, humorous conversations. He had been such an unassuming man, such an undemanding person. And yet he was always being threatened. He was too good, too simple, and too pure. It was an invitation to the crazies.

And later that week when they laid him to rest, and she saw his children in their mother's arms, Allegra knew something she had never felt before. She wanted a child, a baby, a piece of Jeff before fate could strike them down, and he could ever leave her. It was something she had never felt quite like this, if ever. But even more than that, she knew there was something she had to do first, an obligation from her heart. Life was so precious, so short, so easily stolen. It wasn't to be taken, or thrown away, it was to be protected and cherished. She could no longer save him, but there was one small life she could save, and now she knew she was destined to do it. Sam's baby.

She looked quietly at Jeff, and asked him as they drove back home. He was startled at first, and then he wasn't surprised at all. He was only surprised they hadn't thought of it sooner. They were going to be married in a month. It was too soon in Sam's life to have a child, but not in theirs. It was right for them, and it was not right to give it away to strangers.

I think it's a great idea, Jeff said, looking excited and a little stunned.

Do you mean it? she asked wondrously. He really was an extraordinary human being.

Of course I mean it. Let's tell Sam. They had barely survived Bram's funeral, and the shock of letting him go. And yet in an odd way, this was his last gift to them. It was as though he had suggested it, and they had reached out for this baby, which none of them had dared to reach out to before. It was theirs now.

I can't believe it, Allegra said, laughing. We're going to have a baby’ . Jeff was smiling too, and she just hoped that Sam would see the sense in it. The only losers in the deal were the adopting parents, the Whitmans. But as Allegra had told Sam before, they owed them nothing at this point. The baby hadn't even been born yet.

And when they talked to Sam later that day, she agreed with them. It was the perfect solution. And Jeff and Allegra would be the perfect parents. They put their arms around her and Sam cried. At least the baby would be near her. It was a blessing for all of them, and the answer to Samantha's prayers.

Chapter 19

Apparently, Katherine and John Whitman did not agree with them. They did not feel grateful or blessed, nor did they agree that Jeff and Allegra were the perfect parents. In fact, they were furious about it. Furious didn't even begin to describe their reaction. They had been through too much in the past to even be able to listen to reason. Suzanne Pearlman tried explaining it to them, that there was no contract yet, and that Sam had no obligation. But the Whitmans felt that life owed them more than they'd gotten so far and that they'd had enough cruel jokes played on them, with mothers withdrawing their babies. They were hurting terribly over it, and they were looking to hurt anyone they could now. As far as they were concerned, anyone was fair game. The Steinbergs, Allegra, Jeff, Sam, anyone they could injure in whatever way possible, as long as it was legal. They particularly thought Sam deserved it.

They sold their story to the tabloids for a hundred and fifty thousand dollars, to What's New magazine for another seventy-five, and three of the tabloid TV shows for another twenty-five each. All in all, a pretty fair take for the destruction of a family's peace of mind and a young girl's reputation. On her eighteenth birthday, Sam's name was spread everywhere, and none of what they said was pretty. They implied that she was a whore, had slept with half of Hollywood, and that she didn't even know the identity of the father. They supplied the tabloids every detail they'd had and added more. They claimed she'd been on drugs, that she drank, that she had sex with almost anyone, and even propositioned John once or twice when she was eight months' pregnant. It was the kind of story stars have nightmares about, but even more devastating to a girl Sam's age. And because her parents were celebrities, and an argument could be made that Sam was in the public eye because of them, she had absolutely no legal recourse, and they knew it. The tabloids always played it safe, and the destruction of a life or two meant nothing to them. That was their business.

But much to everyone's surprise, she weathered it with dignity and quiet strength. She had been through so much that this almost didn't faze her. She withdrew from public view a bit, took no calls, and seemed oddly peaceful. And as always, her family saw her through, closed ranks and protected her, and so did Jimmy. He was by her side day and night, and the two of them went out for drives or long walks sometimes. They became more inseparable than ever, and he was as strong as she was. They talked about all of it, and what it meant to her. Her feelings were hurt and she was humiliated, and the media was making as much of it as they could, but she knew the truth about herself, and her life, and the baby. She knew better than anyone how stupid she had been with Jean-Luc, but she had never done any of the things the tabloids said she did. And the stories the Whitmans had sold didn't give them a baby. They had done everything they could to torture and humiliate her in revenge for not giving her baby up, but in the end, Sam still had her life, her soul, her integrity, and the baby. She was sorry for them, but after what they did to her, she wasn't sorry she had reneged on the adoption. They were bitter, rotten, vindictive people. The tabloid stories had been going strong for three weeks by the first of August, and her due date was coming closer. The stories about her were still news, and the Whitmans had given another interview, but Sam seemed to be staying calm and close to Jimmy. She had made no comment whatsoever to the press, and Simon had assured her that silence was the wisest course, though often the hardest.

It was the week that Alan came home from Switzerland, and he called Allegra as soon as he got home, hurt that she hadn't told him about Sam sooner. Carmen had called him as soon as the news broke.

My God, what's been happening? You never said anything when I called you.

I didn't know what she was going to do. I didn't want to talk about it. It's been kind of rough here. I didn't tell anyone. But now everyone knows, so it's different. Everyone was an understatement. The tabloids and TV shows had reached several million people.

What's she going to do with it? Alan was sorry for her. She was such a sweet kid and she was so young to have a baby.

Jeff and I are taking it, Allegra said proudly.

Talk about jumping the gun. You two aren't even married yet. When's it due?

In three days, Allegra said with a laugh. She and Jeff had been running around trying to buy diapers and a crib and tiny little undershirts, and flannel sheets, and washcloths, and bottles and blankets. The equipment was absolutely overwhelming, there was so much of it. It was much more complicated than a wedding. But in some ways a lot more fun, and they were both excited.

And in the midst of it, Jeff was trying to finish his movie, and she was going to the office, trying to settle Bram's estate and take care of all her other clients. She was trying to hire a baby-sitter, just to get her through the wedding and the honeymoon, and then she was also going to take a leave herself, after the wedding if she could, till they all got adjusted.

There was so much to organize. They had put the crib right in the middle of their bedroom. And Jeff had put together a little mobile of sheep and clouds that stood over it. They had musical lambs, and tiny little booties and sweaters, and a mountain of equipment. They had everything. Alan chuckled when she told him all about it. He admitted to them that Carmen was pregnant again too, but they weren't going to tell anyone yet in case she lost it. And she still had another month to do on her picture. They all had their hands full for the moment.

It was the night after Alan had come home, and Jeff and Allegra both had unusually long days, and had gone to bed late and were exhausted. When the phone rang at two A.M., Jeff said that Carmen and Alan were at it again. They'd obviously had a fight and Carmen was calling.

Don't answer it, Jeff groaned. He needed his sleep desperately, and for once Allegra was tempted to listen to him, but then she thought of her sister.

What if it's Sam?

It can't be, he said miserably. I'm too tired to have a baby.

In the end, Allegra's conscience won, and she picked it up. It was her mother. Sam's water had broken an hour earlier, and at first nothing had been happening, but all of a sudden she was getting good, hard, regular contractions.

Are you sure they're not just the fake ones? Allegra asked nervously, and Jeff groaned.

I'm too tired for this, he said again, and Allegra laughed and gave him a gentle shove.

No, you're not. We're having a baby. One day it would be her, waking him up at this hour to have their first child, but for the moment it was Sam, and for them, it was almost as exciting.

You'd better come, her mother said. You don't want to miss it. They were already in the hospital, in the labor room, and she was dilating quickly.

How does she feel? Allegra asked, worried about her little sister.

Not too bad, her mother said, still holding the watch she was using to time the contractions. And then she said something that surprised Allegra. We just called Jimmy.

There was tenderness in her mother's voice, rather than disapproval.

Are you sure we should? Sam wants him here. He's been coaching her too. And with all she was going through, Blaire felt she had the right to have whomever she wanted with her. She hadn't wanted John Whitman there, and with good reason after all they'd said about her, but oddly enough, she wanted Jimmy.

Before Jeff and Allegra left the house in Malibu, she stood staring at the crib and the mobile for just a moment. By tomorrow, there would be a little person in the crib. It was so exciting it made her smile as they left for the hospital. She had never before realized how much she wanted this baby. It was the most exciting thing that had ever happened to her.

Exciting, huh? Jeff said, thinking the same thing, and he put a gentle arm around her. I'm glad we're doing this. It meant a lot to both of them, even if it was an odd time for them to take on a baby.

I'm glad too, Allegra said, and then they hurried out to the car, in blue jeans and T-shirts and old sneakers. Allegra was planning to be in the delivery room, and Blaire was too. But when they got to the hospital, Blaire was outside, sitting with Simon.

What's happening? Allegra asked, as though a plane were coming in at any moment, and her mother smiled. In some ways, Allegra was less prepared for this than Sam was. Jeff yawned as he sat down next to Simon. They were both half asleep, and their roles seemed the least exciting. All they had to do was remember to tell everyone what a great job they had done when it was over.

They're checking her, Blaire explained. She's doing beautifully. It's really getting going now. The nurse thinks it won't take long at all, if she keeps going at this rate.

Shouldn't we be in there? Allegra asked, looking worried. She didn't want to let Sam down, or miss the birth of the baby.

I thought I'd give her a little while alone with Jimmy. They were doing fine together, and he's doing a good job coaching her. I think too many people around will make her panic. They left her alone with him for a while, and then Allegra and her mother tiptoed in to see her. She was sitting up in bed, with wild, frightened eyes, trying to breathe her way through a contraction while Jimmy talked her through it. He was amazingly calm for an eighteen-year-old kid, and when it was over, he gave her ice chips, and mopped her forehead with a cool cloth, as she lay back against the pillows.