Before she could think of anything to say, he was gone. She watched his taillights disappear and realized she had probably ruined any chances of them ever even being friends. Eventually, he would figure out that she had told him the truth, she had set Zack free, and even though it was the right thing to do, she'd broken the law. They lived in different worlds. She believed in doing what was right, he believed in following the law. Once in a while the two view were not parallel.

"Thanks for the loan." Zack returned the Mustang keys. "If you'll bring it out some weekend, I could work on that engine. Maybe make it run a little smoother for my next getaway." He lowered his head. "You saved my life tonight as well as Anna's. Thanks."

Meredith did not know what to say. Before Zack could move, she wrapped her arms around him and hugged.

At first, he didn't react. Women hugging him was not something that happened to him often. Slowly, he put his arms around her and patted her on the back.

Meredith fought tears. She told herself she just needed someone to hold her for a few minutes. She needed her heart to stop pounding. She needed to know it was all over and they were all out of harm's way.

But Zack's arms gave her little comfort. He was not the one she wanted. The man she needed would never offer.

Meredith pulled away and gently embraced Anna. "You're welcome to come home with me," she volunteered. "Randi and I will try not to keep you up talking."

Anna shook her head. "I want to stay here tonight."

The women moved away from Anna and Zack with hugs but few words. They knew what they had done and why they did it. There was no need for thanks.

At Helena's car, Meredith asked, "You want me to follow you home? Or Randi can drive you and I'll follow." Helena had been a rock during the trouble, but now she looked so pale it frightened Meredith.

"No, dear. I promised J.D. I'd be home by dark and I'm already late. He'll be worried about me. I'd best hurry." She climbed in her huge car and pulled away.

Randi moved to Meredith's side. "He's not dead to her, is he?"

Meredith shook her head. "Does it matter?"

They waved goodbye to Crystal and folded into the Mustang.

"I don't suppose I could interest you in stopping off at Frankie's on the way home?" Randi propped her foot up on the dash.

Meredith laughed. "No way."

"Then, how about the Dairy Queen? I'm starving. A life of crime always makes me hungry."

"Now, that's a deal. Let's go crazy and order banana splits."

Randi leaned back and frowned. "I'm living on the wild side now."

But she laughed all the way through her hamburger and fries. By the time they ordered their banana splits they were Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, reliving their night of near death and riotous adventure.

They finally waddled out to the Mustang and drove back to the courthouse to pick up Randi's car.

"I must have left the lights on in the office," Meredith said as she pulled into the lot. "It won't take me a minute to turn them off, then I'll meet you back at the house."

"All right." Randi climbed out. "I'll stop by and pick up something for breakfast on my way. It's the least I can do."

Meredith started to argue that shopping was not necessary, but in truth she couldn't remember having anything in the house to offer for breakfast. She watched Randi drive away in her newly painted car, thanks to Crystal, then huddled into her coat and ran for the side door. Maybe ice cream on a night like this had not been such a good idea. She was freezing inside and out.

The hallway of the courthouse was dark, but her lights were all on, as well as one in the sheriffs office. Meredith's shoes tapped along the marble as she tried to remember even going in the county clerk's office earlier. She could have sworn the office was dark when she threw the emergency switch. There had not been time to go into the office. Helena, Randi and she had headed straight to Larson's ranch, knowing Crystal would be waiting.

Meredith flipped the lights off and stepped back out into the hallway.

Granger stood in his office doorway in silhouette. She couldn't see his face, but his stance was official as always.

"I'm sorry. I must have forgotten to close up the office." She moved toward him, feeling like she was reporting to the hall monitor. "That's not like me to forget something like that."

"You didn't leave them on." He stepped out, blocking her path. "I turned them on hoping you'd notice when you came back to pick up Randi's car."

Meredith stopped walking, confused by his action. She swallowed, telling herself not to be afraid. If he locked her up, he locked her up. She was not going to explain or apologize.

"I thought you'd never get here." He cut the distance between them in half. "I was worried that you'd managed to find the last icy spot of pavement between Larson's and town."

"Oh, no. We had no trouble. Randi and I stopped for a hamburger and got to talking." Meredith wanted to scream "What business is it of yours?" but she rambled instead. "We decided to forget calories and have a…"

Granger put his hands on her shoulders. For a second she thought he was going to shake her.

But he drew her to him and kissed her hard on the mouth.

When he moved an inch away, Meredith continued, "banana split."

"I know." She felt his words against her cold face. "I can taste it." He leaned down and kissed her again, this time softer, longer.

She knew there was probably something she should say. Maybe she should even pull away and run. But all she did was wrap her arms around his neck and lean against him, feeling like this was her first kiss on the porch of her parents' house when she was sixteen.

He moaned against her lips as he slipped his hands inside her coat and pulled her closer. His body warmed the length of her.

When he finally moved away, he whispered against her hair. "I've been wanting to do that all night."

"I have to go," she answered, afraid if she stayed any longer she would make a fool of herself. "Randi is waiting for me."

He took a long breath and let her go. "I heard you tell Helena that Randi is staying with you."

She closed her eyes trying to remember where she was… who she was. He no longer touched her, but she could still feel his arms, his lips, the warmth of him against her.

"Good night, Granger," she said as if the kiss had not happened. All she wanted to do was stay and kiss him again. But Randi waited and now was not the right time.

"Good night. I'll see you tomorrow."

A stranger might have thought his farewell formal, but Meredith heard the promise in his voice.


December 19

10:00 p. m.

Pigeon Run


Helena hurried up the stairs as fast as she could. She wanted to get into her robe and relax. Most of the evening she had been fighting a nagging pain in her chest and now, finally, she could forget about everything and breathe easy.

All she needed to do was rest, she told herself. Everything would be better once she made it back to J.D.

As she entered their room, he poured her a glass of wine. She did not tell him she had been feeling dizzy earlier, or that she'd thrown up the soup she'd had for dinner. She blamed both on the excitement of the evening, nothing more. Nausea and dizziness were little inconveniences she had learned to live with over the past few months. Like the flu or a cold, they would pass eventually.

And, in truth, when she leaned back in her favorite chair and finished her first glass of wine, she did feel better. The pain eased a little and she relaxed. Home was the only medicine she needed.

Following a lifetime of routine, she got out her yellow legal pad and wrote several notes with her plans for tomorrow. Meetings, things to check, messages to Mary. The last entry said simply, "remember to tell the girls I love them."

J.D. was right, she should make it a habit. She had spent far too many years seeing the twins' shortcomings. It was time she noticed a few of their talents.

As she calmed, she told J.D. every detail of the evening, laughing with him about how adventurous she had been and almost crying when she described the way Anna and Zack had looked at one another.

Exhaustion finally seeped into her very soul. The wine eased the discomfort in her chest. Helena decided she would not take the nitroglycerin. All she needed was a good night's sleep.

The ache grew sharper when she removed her jewelry and placed it in her jewelry box, but Helena never went to bed without making sure her clothes were properly cared for. Her cashmere coat was brushed and put in its place, ready for the next time she needed it. Her shoes were dusted inside with powder and buffed. Her dress folded neatly and placed among cleaning, ready to be taken out.

From her desk she lifted the silver dollar J.D. had given her and walked slowly to bed. The pain lessened a little when she lay down. She nestled into J.D.'s waiting arms and drifted to sleep.

An hour later, her heart forgot to beat. Her hand opened and the silver dollar rolled across the floor.

J.D. pulled her closer.

Dreams drove the drilling. Dreams of being rich. Dreams of power. Dreams of belonging. And for some, the lucky ones, dreams of home.

December 20

After Midnight `

Howard House


"Shelby? Are you awake?" Crystal tiptoed into Shelby's room. She'd heard the night nurse go downstairs for her midnight dinner. Crystal was still far too keyed up to sleep.

"I'm awake," he answered. "Though I convinced the guard I was asleep, otherwise she'd never relax and leave me alone."

Crystal hesitated. "Would you rather I leave?"

"No. Come join me. We might as well party while we have the chance."

Crystal slipped into his bed, careful not to get too close. Her white satin pajamas didn't make a sound. "I miss sleeping with you, darling. Not the sex so much, just the sleeping."

She paused, thinking of how much a part of their marriage had been the sex. He had taken great pride in "how often" and "how long." Her words now must have hurt him and that had not been her intent.

But he surprised her by answering, "I know. I feel the same. Sometimes I wake up late at night and try to pretend the hum of the machines is the sound of someone breathing next to me."

They lay beside one another for a long while before slip said, "I feel something tonight, Shelby. A changing in the wind. Like after tonight the world will somehow be a different place, and we can never go back to the way it was."

He didn't comment.

"I know you think my feelings are dumb, but don't make fun of them. This one is too strong." Closing her eyes, Crystal almost felt the velvet of a magician's cape floating over her. When it lifted, her world would have shifted.

"How about I never make fun of your feelings again'!" Shelby's voice was so low she would not have heard it if she hadn't been inches from him. "How about I never say anything you do is dumb? How about I call you darling from now on and drop the baby doll?"

She twisted so she could see his face. The sight of him still frightened people, but his looks no longer bothered her "I don't mind the baby doll. I kind of like it. It makes nu feel like I'm still just a kid."

"It's not good enough for you, and I'm finally realizing, it never was." He sounded cold somehow, angry. "And what I'm saying has nothing to do with the offer Trent made you. I've thought about that though, and I've decided you should take the third of Howard Drilling. Get the money and get on with your life. You deserve better than to be stuck with me."

"I'm not going to take the offer." Crystal could not believe he suggested it. "If I have to, I'll fight both Trent and you on the point."

"I'm not who you think I am, Crystal. I'm tired of living a lie. I'm not your husband."

"Shelby, don't get upset. Trent always upsets you when he comes. I don't know why, but he can say three words and you complain for days. And of course you're my husband, being burned doesn't change that."

"Are you listening to me?" Shelby's voice cracked. "Have you heard one word I've said?"

"No," Crystal answered in the formal voice she used to conduct business downstairs. "And I'm not going to until you start to make sense. I'm your wife. I love you more right now for trying to make me leave than I've ever loved you-so why would I even consider Trent's offer?"

She rose up on one elbow and frowned at him. "If you think for one minute that I'm leaving you, you'd better think again. So give up on trying to make me walk out the door. I'm not listening."