Showering me with kisses. Spreading his love everywhere.

I closed my eyes and did my best to stay connected, my fingers in his hair, my hand at his neck, as he gave me everything.

Finally, he covered me with his big body and looked into my eyes.

“I gotta tell you something,” he said, his voice thick but firm and I knew what he was going to say.

I knew what he was going to give me.

And I knew I didn’t need it.

“No you don’t,” I told him quickly.

“Babe.—”

“You don’t, Jake.”

“Right now, you under me, your hair spread on my pillow, your clothes on my floor, I’ve had it time and again and I still can’t believe it.”

My mouth closed, my throat closed and my eyes stung with tears.

“It was me who refused to meet you,” he stated.

Oh God.

“Darling—”

“Lydie asked me…fuck, don’t know how many times. Every time you came to visit, for certain. And she’d even make up shit to get you to visit so we could meet. Tried everything she could to make it happen. She gave me your email. She even gave me your Skype account and said she’d introduce us on the fuckin’ computer.”

“Darling, you don’t have to—”

“First time I walked into Lavender House, looked left, saw that photo of you behind the couch…” He shook his head. “I was with Sloane, shit was not good with her, but it still makes me a dick because I took one look at that picture and fell in love with you.”

Oh…my…

God.

A tear slid out of the corner of my eye and Jake caught it with his thumb but he didn’t quit talking.

“Every word Lydie said about you, it got worse. I fell further. ‘Cause of that, I knew, if I saw you, shook your hand, you didn’t want what I could offer, it’d gut me. So I couldn’t let that happen.”

I slid my hands up his back, in and up his chest and further to curl them around his jaw.

“She pushed,” he went on. “But she didn’t force it. She got me. I knew it. I also knew it bothered her. So she didn’t give up. She gave me your picture. Then she gave me your letters.”

“Jake—”

“I got you. I knew you. She gave me all of you. And having it, I wanted you to find better.”

Oh God.

“Please, darling,” I begged.

“I wanted you to have what you wanted. Someone gentle, patient, sophisticated, successful. And that was not me.”

I closed my eyes and tears escaped both sides, rolling down my temples.

Jake caught them with his thumbs and I opened my eyes.

“I wasted years,” he whispered, his voice now hoarse, regret etched in every feature.

“Don’t,” I whispered back.

“I didn’t fuck that up, coulda tried to make a baby with you.”

“Don’t,” I pleaded, pressing into his jaws with my hands.

“Had no clue you’d want me.”

“You’re everything,” I told him.

He shook his head. “I’m not everything. I got three kids by two women, three ex-wives, a gym that struggles to stay in the black, and a fuckin’ strip club that makes it so I can breathe easy, my kids can have cars and clothes and shit. I know from experience not a lotta women want to buy into any of that. Me, yeah, they’ll take me. The rest of it, they want nothin’ to do with. But with you, it was more. I can’t put your ass in a first class seat on a plane and take you wherever you wanna go, whenever you wanna go there.”

“Why would I need to go anywhere when I can be here with you?”

He blinked.

“I never wanted anything but you, Jake,” I told him and he simply stared at me so I went on. “And I wanted you before I even knew you. Someone handsome and strong and protective and fierce. You’re everything I ever wanted, darling.”

“Baby,” he dropped his forehead to mine, lifted it and continued, “Look at your life the way it was. Look at mine the way it is. Can you see how that’s where my head would be at?”

“Definitely,” I agreed. “But can you see that the person who knew you were right for me was the only person who knew the true me, knew what I wanted, knew what I needed, and picked you for me?”

He said nothing so I took that as a yes.

“You did what you had to do,” I said quietly. “And it’s done. And in the end, I have my dream. And I’m hoping since you love me that you have what you want too. Now can we let it go and move on?”

“I know you wanted kids, Josie.”

“And now I have them, Jake.”

I felt his body lock on mine so I took that opportunity to use my hands at his jaws and pull him down to me. I lifted my head at the same time and touched my mouth to his before I dropped back to the pillow.

“I thank you for giving that to me, darling. You didn’t need to but now I have it, I’ll treasure it. All of it. But seriously, can we let this go and move on?”

“It’s gonna sting, baby, havin’ you, havin’ what we got, knowin’ I coulda had it longer, givin’ it to you longer, givin’ you even more, all of that if I got my head outta my ass.”

I smiled at him and replied, “I’ll make it better.”

He stared into my eyes and whispered, “Fuck, I love you.”

I’d never tire hearing that.

Never.

Even with the expletive.

“And I you,” I shared. “And now I’d love it if you’d get off me so I can clean up and we can sleep. Six o’clock rolls around fast and tomorrow, I’ve got to hire some interior decorators. We’re moving into Gran’s room upstairs. It has its own bathroom and as it is, it’s kind of a pain to tiptoe down the hall so I don’t wake up the kids when I have to go clean up after you make love to me.”

Finally, his eyes smiled.

“We movin’ to Lavender House?” he asked.

“Your house is wonderful, Jake, and you fixed it up. The kids love it here. As do I. But we’d all love it more being with Gran.”

His thumb swept my temple and he whispered, “Yeah.”

“But only after I redecorate the master suite. All those flowers…” I trailed off as I shook my head on the pillow.

That got me another smile and another, “Yeah.”

“Now, are you going to get off me?” I asked.

“Yeah and no.”

This confused me so I tipped my head to the side. “Pardon?”

“This is the no part,” he stated right before he kissed me, long, deep, wet and sweet. When he lifted his head, he finished, ‘Now you get the yeah.”

I laughed softly as he rolled off.

Then I rolled into him, bent and kissed his stomach, his midriff, his ribs, between his pectorals, his collarbone, his neck, under his ear.

Showering him with kisses. Spreading my love everywhere.

When I finished and looked into his eyes, I knew he’d felt it.

And he liked it.

So I kissed his lips, rolled off the bed and went to the bathroom.

I cleaned up and tugged on a nightie before sliding into bed beside him.

He reached out to turn out the light and cuddled me close as he settled us in.

I cuddled closer, murmuring, “Definitely need to move to Gran’s room just for the master bath.”

“Yeah,” he replied.

I nestled deeper.

Jake gave me a squeeze.

“Love you, darling,” I whispered into his skin.

“Right back at cha, Slick,” he did not whisper back.

I smiled.

And mere minutes later, tucked tight to my man, I fell asleep.

* * * * *

“Yo! Josie!” I heard Jake call.

It was early afternoon the next day and I was in the light room looking for a recorder.

“Light room!” I yelled, shuffling through the detritus in Gran’s desk and deciding that tomorrow I would tackle it and organize it.

I’d need to do that since I had not only managed to make appointments with the two interior designers that had businesses in the county, I had phoned New York and began negotiations to take the job with the up-and-coming designer. He was considering once every six weeks visits from me for a week so I could take meetings as well as very limited travel for runway shows and the like.

Thus, if my conditions were accepted, I’d need an organized desk.

I was looking forward to working in the light room, being with Gran as I did it.

So I very much was hoping he’d accept my terms.

“Babe.” I heard Jake say and looked from the desk to the opening of the spiral staircase where he’d appeared.

“Hey, darling,” I replied.

“How’d shit go?” he asked, moving to me at the desk.

“Two appointments with designers, both tomorrow. And I called New York. My conditions are being considered,” I answered, having turned my attention back to what I was doing, still rifling through Gran’s desk.

I felt him stop by the desk as he replied, “Right,” Then he asked, “What are you doing?”

I looked up at him then reached to the desk and took the envelope with the tape in it and gave it to him.

He looked down at the writing before he looked into the envelope I’d opened and his eyes cut to me. “From Lydie?”

“I found it in her safe deposit box,” I shared.

“Fuckin’ hell,” he muttered.

I again focused on the drawer I was going through. “I’m looking for a recorder so I can listen to it.”

I found nothing but heard Jake slide open a drawer to help.

Seconds later, he said, “Here.”

I looked to him to see he had a dictation machine held up in his hand.

And suddenly, I found I couldn’t catch my breath.

“Slick,” Jake called and my eyes lifted to his. His roamed to my face and his voice gentled when he noted, “You can give this time.”

Slowly, I shook my head.

Jake took that in, assessed my expression for long moments then nodded.

I watched as he loaded the tape into the machine and after that, I had no choice but to follow him to the window seat since he’d grabbed hold of my hand and guided me there.

In Jake fashion, he then arranged us in the seat as he wanted us. Jake behind me, his legs up on the seat surrounding me, my back against his front, his arms wrapped around me, cocooning me in his strength, his protection, his safety.

I drew in a deep breath and rested my arms on his at my middle.

“Ready?” he whispered in my ear.

“Yes,” I whispered to the sea.

I heard a click then nothing for long seconds before I heard Gran’s voice.

Josie, my buttercup, she said. If you’re listening to this, I’m gone.

I closed my eyes tight.

And by the time you listen to this, you’ll have met Jake.

I opened my eyes and Jake’s arms pulled me deeper into his body.

I knew the moment I saw him that he was perfect for you. I also knew from the expression on his face when he saw your picture, he knew you were perfect for him too.

Oh God.

I made a noise in the back of my throat as I swallowed the tears clogging there and turned. I wrapped my arms around Jake and pressed my forehead into his neck as I continued to stare at the sea and listen to the beloved voice of my Granny.

It’s likely, by this time, Gran went on, that Arnie’s read my will to you. You’re probably confused and perhaps alarmed. I don’t wish to pain you with this knowledge, but even after your assertions that you were content with your life, I was troubled. I didn’t want you to be content, my buttercup. I wanted you to be happy. So I did what I needed to make you that way. I gave you to Jake and doing it, gave Jake to you.

I pressed my forehead in Jake’s neck.

He’ll make you happy, my precious Josie.

A tear slid down my cheek and, as if sensing it, Jake pulled me even closer.

Now, there are some things you need to know, Gran stated, suddenly sounding all business. Conner, Jake’s eldest, has a tendency to collect girls. I think for boys of his age this is not unusual. But for Conner, I feel it’s something else. He admires his father but he’s very intelligent. I think, watching his father be unlucky in love, he’s searching for the right one. But he’s going about it the wrong way. You need to handle that.

It was then a giggle escaped my throat just as a chuckle rumbled in Jake’s chest.

And he won’t tell you, he prefers filling his body with what he calls proteins and carbs, by that he means is meat and rolls, but he needs vegetables and it took me some time but I found that Conner likes peas.

“Peas,” I whispered, wondering why I hadn’t yet served them and knowing that night, I would.

Amber, Jake’s daughter, Gran continued, is enchanted with an inappropriate young man. She is very sweet but has no idea of her charms. She thinks she’s fortunate to have caught his eye and doesn’t understand it’s the other way around. You need to find a way to communicate that with her and untangle her from that situation. From what she’s told me, this Noah person is unworthy of her but I have not been able to get her to understand this is true. Please see to that, for Amber deserves much better.