He loved the fact that every time seemed different with her. They didn’t have to play the same way. They could explore, give in to their instincts and let their emotions guide them. There was no book he had to follow on the proper way to make love to Belle. They wrote it themselves with every joining, each time a new expression of his feelings for her.

“You feel so good.” Belle looked up at him, desire softening her face.

He thrust deep, his heart thudding in his chest. Even as he penetrated her with slow, hard thrusts—one after the other—she looked up at him with such innocence and trust that she took his breath away. For the first time, he realized that he could take her every day of her life and she would still be innocent and beautiful to him. Belle’s purity was soul deep. She loved with her whole heart, offering every bit of her gorgeous self, inside and out, to him.

“Stay with me.” Belle held him tighter.

Though she asked him to be in the moment with her, the underlying question ripped through him. Stay with her—beyond now, beyond next week or month. Stay with her forever. He wanted to. Fuck, he wanted to be worthy of her, to be the man she needed him to be.

Kellan held her stare as he dove deep and watched as her eyes flared. She tightened around him, whispering his name like a plea.

Between the tight clench of her cunt and the drag of the plug, he couldn’t last long. It was too good. Too right. The only things missing were his partners. He’d thought having her all to himself would be perfect, but he missed his brothers, his best friends. He and Belle were only a part of the puzzle. They weren’t complete without Eric and Tate.

And then it didn’t matter. Nothing did except for her as his balls drew up and his spine tingled. He thrust deep one last time, emptying himself with a shout. She followed him over with a whimper. Then he let himself sink against her, vowing to hold her as long as he could.


* * * *


Belle sighed and sank her fingers into Kellan’s hair, reveling in the softness. It felt like dark silk. She breathed him in, his clean masculine scent mingling with the musk of their sex.

Her heartbeat pounded in her chest, the remnants of pleasure still running through her veins. She loved this time. She loved the sex, but she also craved the soft time afterward, when she was surrounded by her men.

Of course she only had one of her men this time, and if he had his way, she would only have him for a brief time.

Belle had decided that Kellan’s way sucked.

Between reading the last entry in her grandmother’s journal and looking back at her parents’ miserable choices, she’d realized that nothing was certain—except that not fighting for love would lead to heartache. She’d been looking for proof that these three men would always want to be with her, that they would never leave. She’d demanded that the universe guarantee her happiness before she was willing to try grabbing it herself.

It was an arrogant thing to ask. No one got guarantees.

When she’d taken Tate’s hand the night before, she’d finally realized something. Life was an adventure. It was mysterious and could be dangerous. And it was utterly meaningless without them by her side.

All of them.

Her grandmother had left her with far more than a haunted house. Instead, she’d left a legacy of words and pictures and the poignant sadness of her regret. Marie Wright had wanted to reach out to her son, but she’d been afraid for years. Then it had been far too late. Clearly, she’d thought she had more time, but the universe had other plans.

Life didn’t care that she was afraid. Life moved on and it would leave her behind if she didn’t make the choice to fight for her happiness.

Kellan didn’t know it yet, but she wasn’t letting him go without one hell of a fight.

With a long sigh, he rolled off her, taking his warmth with him. He sat up and dealt with the condom, tying it off and wrapping it in a tissue before throwing it into the small trash can by the nightstand. There was something wary about the way his back curved, as though he was trying to protect himself from something. From her.

“Are you going to walk away again?” Belle murmured. She could ask more delicately, she supposed. But he’d asked for her honesty. It was time he repaid the favor.

He turned back, his eyes hooded. “Why did you do this, Belle? Why send everyone away to be with just me?”

“I wanted to. I want to spend time alone with each of you. It doesn’t have to be a crazy orgy every time we make love. Sometimes it can just be the two of us. Tate and Eric both get that. You’re the only one who doesn’t.”

He sighed, but he lay back on the bed, working them both under the covers. “It’s a bad idea. Eric might be fine for now, but Tate won’t like it over time. It’ll make him crazy. Unless you’re planning on keeping this thing casual.”

Kellan would probably love that, but she’d finally figured out that there was nothing casual about any of this. There was nothing casual about love, especially not the depth that she felt. They wanted her to treat sex with reverence. Well, for her, sex came with love, and her men were going to learn that.

“Tate is going to be fine once he realizes he’s going to get what he wants. Mostly, I think he’ll come to love New Orleans. We all have our flaws. One of his is a fear of changing his habits. He’s a moody, broody man-child half the time, but I love him anyway. Eric can play the martyr to perfection. He won’t tell anyone what he needs. I love him anyway, too. And you…”

“Don’t say it.”

She turned on her side, staring down at him. This was exactly the way to have this conversation, naked and with nothing between them. She needed to touch him, hold him. “Why not? You taught me to be honest. You taught me to take this seriously. I’m serious about this, Kellan. About us.”

“I thought you were just playing around. I was under the assumption that you didn’t believe a relationship with the three of us could work long term. I rather thought we were on the same page here.”

“I’m still not sure it will, but how can I know if I don’t try?”

Looking back, she saw that life hadn’t taught her to try. She’d spent her childhood attempting to please a mother who had shut her out. She’d done everything she could to try to get Mom’s attention after her father had died—for a while. Then she’d quit, resigning herself to loneliness and hurt. Was she willing to spend the rest of her life shutting out anyone who might want her because deep inside she was still that kid whose mother couldn’t love her? She had to leave her childhood behind. Comfort the girl by embracing the woman she’d become.

And not everyone had abandoned her. Kinley had still stood by her. Her grandmother had remembered her. Her father had left her a life lesson, if she chose to see it. Would he be proud of the woman she’d become or would he be disappointed that she’d closed herself off?

If she never opened up, maybe she wouldn’t feel pain, but she also wouldn’t feel joy. Belle was rapidly realizing that joy was worth the risk.

So was love. Kellan had to see that.

“There are a lot of reasons I believed it couldn’t work, but I was wrong. I thought I wasn’t the woman who could heal you.” She willed him to understand.

Kellan turned to her with a frown. “Love, it’s not that.”

“No, it’s not. I realize that now, too. It’s not that I can’t heal the pain from your divorce. It’s that you don’t want to heal. You think you’re safer in your nice little cocoon.”

He frowned and sat up suddenly. “Cocoon? You make it sound like something pleasant, Annabelle. I assure you, it’s not.”

A hard edge sharpened his tone, letting her know that she was pushing his boundaries. He’d pushed all of hers, but she’d known he would probably react poorly. Still, she pressed on because this was too important to let go. “I don’t think it’s pleasant at all. I think it’s lonely, but you’ve gotten to a comfortable place. I know because I did the same thing.”

He huffed, sounding deeply frustrated. “Annabelle, you weren’t wrong to think it couldn’t work. You were just being realistic. Most marriages fail, and they only have two people involved. Putting four people in a relationship, much less any sort of marriage, makes it exponentially more complex.”

She understood that he was attempting to protect himself, but she had to make Kell see that wouldn’t lead to happiness. “So that means we shouldn’t try? It’s gotten easy for you to not try. I know that’s the way it was for me. After my father died and my mother got lost in her own grief, I decided that I couldn’t win, so I withdrew. That way I couldn’t get hurt anymore. I thought it was better to be numb. It’s not, Kellan.”

He stood up and grabbed his boxers, shoving his legs into them. “I’ve never been anything but honest with you, Belle. I told you where this is going. I explained what I could give you.”

The old Belle would have covered up and hidden, accepting that the fight was done. The new Belle could definitely kick the old Belle’s ass.

She rose on her knees, giving him what she hoped was a spectacular view of her body. She was satisfied when he lost a bit of his normal grace and stumbled while reaching for his slacks. “You never lied to me, Kellan. But I think you’re lying to yourself. I am the woman for you and you know it deep down. If you walk away from me, from this family we could have, you’re going to regret it for the rest of your life. Do you want to know where this is going for me? What I intend to do?”

He jerked on his slacks, his face flushed, his every movement a testament to his anger. “Please, tell me, Belle. You seem to know absolutely everything. Enlighten me.”

She ignored the sarcasm. He wasn’t going to go down easy. She’d always known that, but she also didn’t miss the way his stare found her breasts. And she definitely couldn’t ignore the fact that he was already getting hard again. He had to carefully tuck his cock away.

“Here’s how it will go, Kellan. I’m going to marry Eric and Tate, and we’re going to live right here. You’ll be more than welcome in my bed for as long as my husbands allow it. They’ll never bar you for the same reason I won’t.”

A bitter laugh choked from his throat as he picked up his shirt. “And what reason is that? Because you like the D/s play, and I’m the only one whose been fully trained? You think they’ll need me to train them for any length of time? Eric’s already a good Dom. Tate can learn from him.”

He didn’t understand a thing and that made her soften utterly toward him. “No, they’ll never bar you from our bed because they love you, too.”

That made him stop. He stared at her, obviously at a loss for words.

Good thing she had plenty for them both. “I love you, Kellan Kent. I want to marry you and your best friends. But if you choose to hold on to what that terrible woman did to you, if you choose her over us, then I think you’ll come and see us for a while. I think you’ll go back to Chicago, but you’ll visit. We’ll come see you, too, and it could work the way you want it to…until we have babies. And we’re going to have them, Kell. I want kids. I want to raise a crazy family, but I know that the minute I have that first child, you’ll be gone. So I’ll have to choose between you and having babies with the men I love.”

“I’m not asking you to choose.” The words rasped from his throat.

“Good, because you would lose, my love. I’m going to choose the future, even if it means putting you in the past. It will hurt like hell and I will love you until the day I die. I will always miss you and I will always wish that you wanted our family as much as we want you to be a part of it.”

There was a suspicious sheen to his eyes as he stared at her. “That’s not fair, Belle.”

“Life’s not fair, Kellan. And I’m not going to play fair with you. I’m going to fight dirty because this is the fight of my life. I love you. I’m going to tell you every day, all day long. I’m never going to let you forget it. And if you let that bitch win, if you walk away because you can’t get over what she did to you…well, you should know that I’ll still be here loving you. No woman in the world will ever love you the way I do. And you won’t love anyone else the way you love me.”

His head shook, seemingly interested in the floor suddenly. “I never said I was in love with you, Belle.”

“Not aloud. But like I said, I think you’re good at lying to yourself. Come back to bed.”

Those words seem to jolt him, and he practically ran to the door. “I have to think, Belle. I didn’t want to make this decision yet, but you pushed me. I just… I don’t…” He plowed a hand through his hair. “I’m going out. I don’t know when I’ll be back.”