Maya Banks - Theirs to Keep

Merrick touched her cheek until finally she opened her eyes and trained her gaze on him.

“Elle, baby,” he said in a tender voice. “He can’t hurt you anymore. Cade and I will protect you. He can’t hurt you.”

Tears swam in her eyes. “I don’t want to remember, Merrick. I don’t. I’m…happy…here. With you,” she blurted. “And Cade.”

He leaned down and carefully kissed away her tears. His lips were warm and electric on her face and skin. And oh so very tender.

“You do know that you aren’t going anywhere, don’t you?” he said as he drew away. “We aren’t going to toss you out. We aren’t going to get tired of you. We aren’t going to do anything at all but take care of you and protect and cherish you.”

“B-both of you?”

She hated the hope his words instilled, because what she was asking was impossible.

“How about we have this conversation when Cade returns,” Merrick said gently. “This is important to him—to us. To me. Some things just need to be said. Worked out. I don’t want there to be any misunderstanding over this.”

Slowly she nodded and then sagged into his chest. “I’m still afraid, and I hate it,” she whispered. “I hate being so damn helpless and powerless. I hate being a coward who doesn’t want to remember, who prefers a blank slate to remembering the person I was.”

He stroked his hand over her hair. “You went through a horrific ordeal. It’s only natural that you’re scared. Don’t beat yourself up over it. Just know that Cade and I are here, and if you’re ever scared, all you have to do is come to one of us. As for the rest, it will come in time. Don’t be so hard on yourself. When you’re ready and able to hold up under whatever it is that’s hiding in your past, you’ll remember.”

His words bolstered her flagging spirit. They slid soul deep, offering her comfort in the darkest places of her mind and spirit.

She sighed and melted into his embrace, allowing his touch to warm and soothe her shattered senses.

In the distance, she heard Cade call that he needed help with the groceries, and she popped her head up.

She scrambled off Merrick’s lap but then hesitated, standing between his knees. Then she leaned down and kissed him softly on the lips.

“Thank you. I don’t know what happened to send you and Cade to me, but I thank God for you both every day.”

Merrick smiled. “Ever consider that we thank him for giving us you?”

Her eyes widened, because no, she hadn’t ever considered such a thing. Frankly it seemed ludicrous to her that the two of them would thank anyone for having such a burden dumped on their lap.

Merrick rose and took her hand. “Come on. Let’s go help Cade with the groceries, and then you can figure out what you want to make for dinner. That was what you said, right? You picked out lots of yummy stuff to make for us?”

The hopeful note in his voice made her smile. “Yeah, I did. I was careful to get stuff you can eat. You know, high protein. Low carbs. I didn’t want to mess up your training.”

The look in Merrick’s eyes made her stomach coil into a tight knot. Warmth brimmed in those dark eyes, and he pulled her to him, his hand cupping her cheek.

“That was sweet of you,” he said in a husky voice.

She thought he might kiss her again, but instead he kept hold of her hand, squeezing lightly as he headed in Cade’s direction.

They entered the kitchen as Cade was bringing in an armful of sacks.

“There more?” Merrick asked.

“Just two,” Cade said.

“I’ll grab them. You and Elle start putting up.”

Elle turned to open one of the sacks, but Cade put his hand out to her. His expression was troubled and inquiring as he stared at her.

“You okay? You look upset.”

She offered a smile. “I was, but I’m okay now. Really.”

He tugged her into his arms and kissed her, warm, sweet and lingeringly. And then he slowly pulled away, his eyes sparking with heat. She stood there, a little befuddled, while he began putting the milk and eggs in the refrigerator.

“Hey, no slacking,” Merrick said as he came through the door.

She blinked and then looked down at the still-full sack in front of her. Things had changed. Big-time changed. After six months of treating her with the utmost care and patience, suddenly they were being… She wasn’t even sure what it was they were being. They were still certainly careful and patient. So very gentle and loving. But now it was different. It was almost as if they were testing her…readiness?

Her ability to handle intimacy?

It was an insane thought, but she swore that was precisely what they were doing. And if so, was she ready? Or was she traumatized by something she couldn’t even remember?

More importantly, and what was making her head spin right off her shoulders, was that both men had expressed interest. Those kisses hadn’t been the kiss of a friend or acquaintance or even some affection for a woman they felt sorry for.

There may be a lot of things she couldn’t remember, but passion definitely wasn’t one of them. The heat that emanated from those kisses had nearly set her on fire.

But both of them?

It had occupied her thoughts enough, but she’d never breathed a single word aloud. She’d never even hinted that she’d had such a ridiculous thought.

She’d kept her ache secret and buried so deep that only she knew what had weighed so heavily on her mind.

She knew she had feelings for both men. Complex feelings. Some of which she didn’t even understand. All she knew was that it wasn’t something so simple as gratitude or attachment to the men who’d saved her. Nor was she latched onto them solely because she felt safe with them.

She wanted to be with them. Both of them. But never, ever had she imagined such a thing possible. She would have never brought it up, so afraid was she that it would ruin everything.

But now it seemed that they were bringing it up in their own way. Was it possible that they’d had the same thoughts she had?

She’d written it off as crazy. Something that happened with other people. People you saw on television shows or daytime corny talk shows.

She was so scared and hopeful at the same time she wanted to burst. The more she thought about it and weighed it in her mind, the more she considered that they wouldn’t both be saying the things they were saying and wouldn’t be both kissing her if they didn’t have some sort of plan of both being a part of her life. Her future.

Cade’s hand came down on her shoulder, and then his other hand slipped underneath her chin, and he tilted it upward until she met his very worried gaze.

“Elle, you sound like you’re about to hyperventilate, and you’ve been staring into space for several minutes. What’s going on?”

Some of the haze cleared, and she stared back and then beyond him to where Merrick stood, a frown marring his face. He looked as worried as Cade did.

But the one thing she saw in both faces, in both their eyes, was something she wanted so desperately that she was afraid to even breathe for fear of losing it.

She saw something more than simple affection or worry. She saw something deeper. Something very much like…love.

ELLE STARED AT THE TWO men whose gazes rested so fiercely on her, and she felt light-headed over what she was about to do.

“C-can I ask you something?” she asked, the words tumbling awkwardly from her lips.

Cade reached out and palmed the side of her face, rubbing lightly in a sweet caress.

“You can ask us anything,” he said, his tone utterly serious. “There’s nothing you can’t say to us, Elle.”

Merrick reached for her hand, tugging her forward.

“Let’s go into the living room so you’ll be more comfortable.”

She followed Merrick, her hand still held tightly in his while Cade followed behind her, his hand to her back.

Merrick sat on the couch and pulled her down so that she’d be positioned between him and Cade. But she couldn’t sit this way, having to look back and forth. She didn’t want to miss a single reaction. Facial expression. This was too important. She was putting far too much on the line.

She was terrified.

She pushed herself up from the couch, despite protests from the men. For a long moment, she stood with her back turned to them as she gathered her courage and wrapped herself in its protective embrace.

Then she slowly turned back around to face her…future? It was scary and exhilarating all at the same time. She was taking a proactive step to regaining her life. Taking it back. Living it instead of enduring it.

“I have to know if the two of you feel, or rather reciprocate, any of what I feel for you,” she said in a rush. “I know it sounds absurd. Ridiculous. I’m absolutely crazy, right?”

Before she could say anything further or continue to babble her fool head off, Cade came off the couch. He moved so quickly and was standing in front of her before she could blink.

He grasped her chin with his fingers, his mouth hovering over hers.

“You’re not crazy,” he growled.

And then he kissed her, his mouth devouring hers in a forceful, possessive manner that left her breathless.

His tongue brushed over hers, testing and tasting. He explored her lips, licking over every inch and then inward to dance over her tongue playfully and then more strongly.

Everything about the way he kissed her screamed…mine. Like he was putting his stamp on her and wanted her to know she belonged to him.

When he finally pulled away, she was dazed and off kilter. She stumbled back, but he caught her arm and righted her as she stared fuzzily at him and then at Merrick.

Before she knew it, he’d sat back on the couch and pulled her down onto his lap so she was facing Merrick but she was nestled firmly against Cade’s chest.

Merrick’s brown eyes were serious and focused as he stared back at her. Everything about Cade’s posture signaled that he was every bit as serious.

“Elle, we’ve actually wanted to talk to you about this very subject. We just haven’t known how to bring it up. The truth is…”

Merrick sucked in a deep breath, and it was then she realized that he was just as nervous as she was. Just as unsure. It baffled her, but there it was. This big, fierce man was worried over how she’d react to whatever it was they wanted to say to her.

Automatically her hand flew to his. She wanted to offer him comfort and reassurance. She curled her fingers around his and kept them laced tightly together.

“The truth is, we both care a great deal about you. You’ve become very important to us. You have been since the day we found you in the gun shop.”

Her eyes widened, and her heart started beating faster. Could it be true that they were feeling everything she was? That they both returned her…attraction?

She was afraid to hope, but what else could he be saying? They weren’t cruel men. They weren’t the type to pull off some sick, twisted joke.

Cade’s hand stroked down her back as he broke in.

“What Merrick is trying to say is that we want you to stay with us. Not just in the capacity as a guest or someone we’re helping. We want to go beyond that. And the thing is, we both want a relationship with you. We want to see where this leads and where it takes us. Which means that the three of us would be involved. Together. You’d be with the both of us.”

Merrick cleared his throat and plowed forward, picking up where Cade left off, almost as if they were both afraid that if they didn’t state their case immediately and get it all out, she’d freak out and run screaming from the house.

If they only knew how often she’d dreamed of them saying these exact words.

“Obviously you’d be making a commitment to more than one man,” Merrick said in a hesitant tone. “But we’d both be making one commitment. To you. And even though you would in essence be with two men, we’d absolutely be faithful to you. You would be the only woman for the both of us, and we would be the only men in your life. Are we making sense?”

There was so much worry in his voice that her heart melted. She pulled up his hand that was still tightly entwined with hers, and she kissed the rough palm. Then she turned to Cade and met his lips softly with hers.