Maya Banks - Theirs to Keep

“Is it wrong of me not to be sorry I can’t remember?” she whispered.

Cade squeezed her and cupped the back of her head. “No. Your mind is protecting you. Right now, you’re too fragile to cope with everything at once. When you’re stronger, you’ll remember, and Merrick and I will be with you to help you through it.”

She carefully pulled away, staring back at him in complete befuddlement. How could he make a promise like that? How could he look so serious when making such a statement?

He looked as though he meant every word.

Before she could pursue it any further, he carefully took her arm and guided her toward the door. “Let’s go have that breakfast, okay? Let’s see if we can get some decent food into you, and then we’ll give you your medicine again.”

Numbly, she allowed him to lead her out of the bedroom and into the kitchen. As they reached the doorway, she self-consciously glanced down at her rumpled clothing. Cade’s clothing.

As soon as they walked into the kitchen, Merrick stood from the table, his gaze intent on her. He stalked forward, and she pulled up, unsure of what to do or what he was doing.

Then he simply reached out and touched her cheek. “How are you feeling this morning?” he asked gruffly.

For some reason, the tenderness against such a rough-cut exterior made her teary-eyed.

“Ah hell,” he said in a desperate sounding voice. “I didn’t mean to make you cry.”

Then she found herself enfolded in his beefy arms, surrounded by him. She soaked in the comfort just as she’d done when Cade had held her. It buoyed her flagging spirits and was a balm to her aching soul.

She rested her cheek against his chest and closed her eyes as he continued to hold her. She felt safe here, and that was saying a lot, because even her dreams were filled with fear and insecurity.

Somehow Cade’s promise didn’t seem so farfetched at this very moment. He and Merrick both had somehow managed to make her believe in the impossible.

Merrick’s lips pressed to the top of her head, and then he carefully pulled her away so he could guide her to a chair.

“Are you hungry? Cade makes a mean pancake.”

“Butter and lots of syrup,” she said. Then she brightened. “I remember how I like to eat pancakes!”

Cade smiled at her and then reached for the plate of pancakes in the middle of the table.

“Let me give these a quick warming, and I’ll bring back the butter. You want milk?”

She nodded and then settled more comfortably into her seat.

“You didn’t answer my question,” Merrick said as he sat back down. “How are you feeling? Still hurting?”

She touched her shoulder automatically and then glanced down at the bandages still covering her hands. “How am I supposed to eat?” she asked ruefully.

Merrick reached over and began to carefully unwind the gauze. “Dallas said we could remove some of the padding. He just wants to keep the cuts covered, and he gave us some ointment for when we change the bandaging. How about I take it off, let you eat, and then I’ll reapply everything afterward.”

Elle smiled up at him. “Thank you, and I am feeling a little better today. I feel…safer.”

His hands went still, and then his fingers curled around hers. “I’m glad you feel safe, Elle. Cade and I are going to make sure you are safe. We aren’t going anywhere. I need you to believe that.”

She sucked in her breath. It was the second time such a promise had been made, and this time it was coming from Merrick.

He continued unwinding the gauze and then carefully pried off the bandages that were stuck to her skin by dried blood. He patted the cuts before tossing away the remnants of the dressings.

Cade returned and put a plate of pancakes stacked high in front of her. She flexed her fingers, checking for signs of discomfort, and then picked up a knife to spread the melting butter evenly across the surface of the pancakes.

“I remembered something,” she said nervously. “I dreamed it, I mean. So I think I remember it. Or maybe it’s just part of a really bad dream.”

Cade sat down with his own plate on her other side, and he and Merrick looked intently at her.

“What was the dream about?” Merrick asked gently.

“Him,” she croaked. “The man who…raped…me and tried to kill me. In my dream, I’m running and I know I can’t escape. I saw a badge attached to his jeans, like at his pocket or belt loop or somehow at his side.”

Cade and Merrick exchanged dark glances, their lips tightening.

Then something else occurred to her, and her eyes widened.

“It was hot,” she blurted. “I mean, here it’s cold. But in my dream, I was sweating, and the sun, it was bright.”

“That’s good,” Cade soothed. “You’ll get it back, Elle. Don’t rush it, though, okay? Don’t try to force yourself to remember before you’re ready. Merrick and I will be here for you. I don’t want you to be scared at any time, and you can tell us anything. We’ll always be here to listen.”

“You can’t be planning for me to stay with you permanently,” she said in bewilderment. “You know nothing about me. I broke into a building, for God’s sake.”

Merrick lifted an eyebrow. “Can’t we? Where else are you going to go, Elle? Do you honestly think we’d let you just walk out of here knowing you have no memory, no money, no place to go?”

She stared back, having no idea what to say to that. Most people would just turn her over to the police and be done with her. But these two men knew of her terror, knew she didn’t trust any cop, and they not only took her in and didn’t push her to go to the police, but they made her a promise to be with her…long term.

“You guys aren’t real,” she whispered.

“The hell we aren’t,” Cade bit out. “I made you a promise, Elle. Merrick made you a promise. Neither one of us is going back on our word. We aren’t letting you go, and we’re damn sure going to protect you.”

She closed her eyes, soaking in the firmness of his words, how determined they both sounded. A haven. Sanctuary. They were offering something she desperately needed. She’d be a fool to turn it down.

“Okay,” she said in a shaky voice, taking the plunge.

If she couldn’t trust them, who could she? There was no one else. She had no other options. Cade and Merrick were all she had.

She jumped when a loud bang exploded in the kitchen, and suddenly an older man appeared, staring over at Cade and Merrick.

“Where the hell have you two been? I’ve been at the office an hour waiting for your lazy asses. You pick today to sleep in?”

“DAMN IT, DAD,” CADE EXCLAIMED as he reached to keep Elle from bolting from the room.

Charles Walker glanced between the three, his eyes narrowing suspiciously, but then his gaze settled on Elle and he frowned.

“You blew off work for a one-night stand?”

Merrick groaned. “For God’s sake, Charlie. Shut the fuck up for two seconds.”

Elle was standing, her arm outstretched where Cade had caught her wrist to keep her from bolting. She was staring at Cade’s dad like he was the antichrist. And, well, he couldn’t exactly fault her suspicion. Damn old man had no filter whatsoever. He said what he liked when he liked and didn’t much give a fuck what anyone thought.

“What the hell happened to her?” Charles demanded as he stared harder at her. It seemed to have finally sunk in that she was obviously injured and scared out of her mind.

Merrick stood and walked around the table to take Elle’s hand. He glanced back at Cade. “You deal with him. I’ll take Elle in the other room.”

Cade sighed as Merrick herded Elle out of the kitchen, and then he turned to his dad.

“What did I say?” Charles asked, raising his hands, palms up.

“Oh for fuck’s sake,” Cade muttered. “What do you ever not say?”

Charles slid into Merrick’s vacated chair. “What’s the story on the woman?”

Cade leveled a stare at his dad. “I’m only telling you if you keep quiet, and I mean you don’t say shit to anyone.”

Charles shrugged. “Whatever you say.”

“I’m serious, Dad. This is deep. I haven’t said much to Merrick about this aspect of it, but we have to keep this quiet because he can’t afford to fuck up his chance at a title shot. This could get twisted around and reflect badly on Merrick if we aren’t careful.”

His father’s expression became serious. “What’s the matter, son?”

Cade ran down the story from the time he and Merrick had responded to the breach in security to the present. By the time he was finished, Charles was wearing a scowl that rivaled Merrick’s worst.

“Son of a bitch,” Charles muttered.

“Yeah.”

“So you’re going to keep her?”

The incredulous tone to his dad’s words rubbed Cade the wrong way.

“What do you want me to do, Dad? Toss her out? She’s hurt. She’s been raped and God only knows what else. The son of a bitch shot her twice. It’s a miracle she’s alive. And she’s terrified of the police. So you tell me. What would you do with her?”

Charles sighed and rubbed a hand over his balding head.

“And you’re a damn liar if you tell me you’d toss her out, so don’t even try that shit with me, old man.”

“Think you know me so damn well,” Charles grumbled.

Cade cracked a grin. “I know you’re a grumpy-ass huge marshmallow.”

Charles flipped up his middle finger, and then he stared in the direction of the living room. “So seriously, Cade. What are you going to do with her? You and Merrick have enough on your plate between the business and his training and career. And the job doesn’t run itself. You know I’ll help in any way I can, but you’ve still got a huge problem on your hands.”

“She’s not a problem,” Cade said quietly. “She needs to rest and recover physically, and she needs a place where she feels safe in order to do that. That’s going to be with me and Merrick. When she’s able, we’ll take her into the office with us so she isn’t alone. We’ll figure it out.”

“I’m reading a lot more than just a white knight in action here,” his dad mused. “You’re interested, Cade. I’d swear that you and Merrick are both sniffing around the same female.”

Cade didn’t answer.

Charles sighed. “That’s never a good idea. This can’t end well. You have to know that. You and Merrick go way too far back to let a woman come between you now.”

“We’ll deal with it,” Cade said tightly. “Right now, all we’re concerned with is getting her well and back on her feet. She has an entire past she remembers nothing of.”

“That’s a hell of a lot of baggage she’s sporting, son.”

“Nothing so heavy I can’t help her carry it,” Cade said in a quiet voice.

ELLE SAT ON THE WORN, WOODEN bench and watched as Merrick sparred with Cade in the ring. Cade held a large punching bag, and Merrick ducked and feinted right and left before landing punches that pushed Cade back.

It had been three weeks since the night they’d found her. The bruises had faded. The gunshot wound was nearly healed. She looked and felt better, but her past was still a huge shadow in her mind, an impenetrable veil of darkness.

Part of her wondered if it was better that way. It made her a coward, but every time she tried to think, to focus her attention on the past, she broke into a cold sweat and dissolved into a panic attack.

If that wasn’t a huge sign that she was better off not knowing, she didn’t know what was.

After the first couple of days, the men had settled back into their routine and incorporated Elle into it. She went to Merrick’s workouts with him. Then she’d ride into the office when Merrick joined Cade.

They’d been adamant about making sure she was never alone and that she felt safe at all times while she was recovering. Dallas had become a regular visitor to the men’s home to check in on her progress.

Charlie stayed with her in the office if Cade and Merrick were out on a job. She was never without someone, and while some people would feel smothered by the constant company, it reassured her. She didn’t want to be alone. Maybe she’d never want to be alone again.

It baffled her that four strangers had essentially gone so far out of their way for her. For a nobody. A woman with no past, a woman who, for all they knew, could be a criminal.

The thought made her shiver because she didn’t feel like a criminal. Wouldn’t she know? If she had been involved in crime, would she find the idea so repugnant now?