Philippa Carr - Time for Silence

Robert looked resigned and he and I exchanged smiles.

I should have liked to go to the Palace with him, but of course too many could not go, and Uncle Robert, Aunt Belinda and Annabelinda were his immediate family.

I did have my chat with Annabelinda on the first day of their arrival. It was evening. Annabelinda had always liked bedtime chats.

She came to my room and sat on my bed.

“I have such news,” she said. “It’s not out yet, but it will be next week. You shall be the first to know.”

“What is it?”

“I’m going to be married. I am engaged…not officially yet. There has to be a proper announcement. His family, you see.”

“Engaged?” I said.

She lowered her eyes, as though she feared to look at me.

“To Marcus,” she said.

“Oh…congratulations.”

“Thank you. It’s not supposed to be known yet, but I couldn’t keep it from you. Besides, I wanted to tell you myself. His people…you’ve no idea. Their house is like a castle. That’s the main house, where his parents live. When we’re married, our house will be on the estate. It’s quite grand…but you should see the ancestral home.”

“So you are very pleased.”

She grimaced. “The family is a bit overpowering. I went up there with my parents. They’ve inspected me. It’s like going back in time. All those old conventions. I can’t imagine how I shall live up to them.”

“No,” I said. “Nor can I.”

“Well, Marcus is marvelous. Right from the first, I knew.” She looked faintly defiant. “So did he. And we’ll have fun. I shall get him to buy a house in London. If he is going to stay at the War Office, he will have to. That wound makes him unfit for military service. It’s going to be wonderful. It’s only his old family that frightens me. Everything has to be just as it always has been…ceremonial. You’ve no idea. That’s why Marcus is so different. You’d never guess, talking to him, that there had been all that discipline in his life.”

“When are you going to be married?”

“Well, first we have to announce the engagement. I’ve only just passed the first test. There will be more vetting, I imagine. They wanted to know all about my family. Marcus said that I’d charm his father and he’ll know how to tackle his mother. I shall be all right. You know how respectable Daddy is. He’s passed muster—socially and financially.”

“And your mother?”

“You know how charming she can be.”

“And you?”

She looked smug, and I said, “Have you told Marcus?”

“Told him what?”

“About your past.”

“What do you mean?” she asked abruptly.

“Annabelinda, you know. I mean about Edward.”

She flushed scarlet. “How can you be so unkind when I’m so happy?” she demanded.

“You haven’t told him then?”

“How could I?”

“Don’t you think he ought to know?”

“It’s all over. It was just a slip.”

“There is Edward.”

“He’s just the little boy you brought from France. People do things like that in wartime. His parents were dead and you took him. Your people have adopted him because of your promise to his mother when she was dying. It’s all…settled.”

“I thought perhaps you would feel that you must tell your future husband.”

“How could I? Lucinda, don’t ever talk to me about it. It makes me so unhappy. You’re jealous, I believe.”

“I am not. I should not like to have a secret like that on my conscience, and I could not be jealous of someone who had. But it is not on your conscience, is it—for the simple reason that you haven’t one.”

I was talking wildly. I was not sure whether I was angry with her because she was going to marry Marcus or because she talked of Edward as though he were not important.

She got up and went to the door.

“I shan’t talk to you anymore. I thought you would like to know. I thought you would be pleased that I had told you first.” She turned and faced me and went on appealingly. “Lucinda, you wouldn’t say a word…?”

“Of course not. I haven’t ever, have I? And I have known for a long time.”

“I think it would spoil everything.”

“I am sure Marcus would understand.”

“It’s his family. I was surprised. I shouldn’t have thought he would be afraid of anything. But he is in awe of his family. They’ve got to approve, Lucinda. Otherwise he’d be cut off like that.” She snapped her fingers. “Yes, he would, if he did something that was not in the family tradition.”

“Such as marrying a girl who had had an illegitimate child?”

“You’re making it sound so awful.”

“It could have been for poor little Edward.”

“Well, it wasn’t. And Grandpère Bourdon didn’t think it was so strange. He said it happens here and there in families and the best thing is to get over it with as little fuss as possible. Lucinda, promise me, you’ll never mention it again…to anyone.”

“I promise. I kept quiet before and perhaps, it has turned out for the best. Edward is happy here. He has a good home and he’ll be all right.”

“Then it is happily settled, isn’t it? He’s all right. That’s all that matters.”

“Yes,” I said. “I suppose so.”

She was looking happy again and I was sorry I had said what I had. That was how it was with Annabelinda. I might rail against her one moment, and the next I would be trying to placate her.

She came over and kissed me. “I know I can always rely on you, Lucinda.”

“Well, I suppose you can.”

After she left, I could not stop myself from thinking of Marcus. I was not really surprised that it had turned out this way.

I did wonder whether at one time he had begun to care seriously for me. With Marcus one would never know. As for Annabelinda, she would go through life untroubled, I suspected. She would feel no guilt about her secret and her unacknowledged child, simply because she had the gift of being able to shut out anything that was detrimental to herself. She was able to convince herself that it had never happened, until someone—like me—brought it up in such a way as to make it impossible to deny it had taken place.

Two weeks later there was an announcement in the papers of the engagement of Major Merrivale to Annabelinda Denver.

In due course Robert went to the Palace to receive his medal, Aunt Belinda, Uncle Robert and Annabelinda with him.

And afterward he returned to Marchlands. Someone from the press came down; pictures were taken and there was a piece in the paper about his gallantry.

I thought Robert looked very fine in his uniform with the silver and mauve ribbon attached to his coat. There was no doubt that his family was very proud of him. There were tears in Uncle Robert’s eyes and Aunt Belinda positively beamed.

She was contented with life; her son decorated for bravery, and her daughter—without a season, which was not possible during the war—engaged to a very eligible young man.

The war was not so bad for Aunt Belinda and her family after all.

I WAS STAYING FOR a few days in London, as I did now and then. On this occasion I had come to town to make some arrangements about patients who would shortly be sent to Marchlands from one of the big hospitals. I also had some purchases to make.

It was pleasant to be with my father, who would return with me to Marchlands at the weekend. He was very preoccupied at this time. I knew that he had a great deal on his mind, and I think he enjoyed dining quietly with me alone. In some respects he was more hopeful about the war. He told me that the first contingent of Americans was expected in June.

“This will have a demoralizing effect on the enemy,” he said. “And we can do with their help, of course.”

“Do you think the end is in sight?”

“Well, perhaps not exactly in sight. Round the corner maybe. There’s one thing that makes me uneasy.”

He sat biting his lips while I waited for him to go on.

Then he looked at me steadily and said, “There’s something wrong somewhere. Secrets…top secrets…are being betrayed.”

“How?”

He shrugged his shoulders. “There are bound to be spies around. Even in peacetime they are here, and in wartime…although it is more difficult for them to operate, their efforts are intensified. But lately…You remember the affair at Milton Priory?”

“You never found out how that came about?”

He shook his head. “Unfortunately, I was deeply involved in that. I felt responsible. I am sure someone had been at my papers. It’s unsettling. Well, we can only be watchful. But some of these people are devilishly clever.”

“Perhaps it will all be over soon. Won’t that be wonderful?”

He agreed that it would.

It was the next day when Tom Green, one of the men from the stables at Marchlands, arrived at the house.

I was astonished to see him and thought for a moment that something must be very wrong.

I must have betrayed my anxiety for he said quickly, “All’s well at Marchlands, Miss Lucinda. It’s just that a woman came. She seemed to be most upset-like…and wanted to give a letter to you….And, as I had to come up to London on an errand for Mrs. Greenham…to the hospital here…I thought I’d kill two birds with one stone, as the saying goes.”

“A woman?”

“Yes, miss. Really upset she was…in quite a state. She asked for you. She didn’t want to see anyone else. She was real distressed when I told her you were away.”

“Did she give her name?”

“No, miss. All she said was she wanted to see Miss Lucinda Greenham, and when I said I wasn’t sure when you’d be back, she said she would write a note to you. So I settled her down with pen and paper and she wrote and I gave her an envelope and she said to put this with a letter she’d brought and she said would I give it to you the moment you came back. I said I would. I was right-down sorry for her. So I took the opportunity-like…”

“Give me the letters.”

He felt in his pocket and produced them. My name was written on one. It said Private. Urgent.

I did not want to open it under the groom’s curious eyes, so I said, “Thanks. I’ll see what this is all about.”

I went up to my room.

The other envelope was rather bulky and it was addressed to Major Merrivale.

I slit the envelope addressed to me. I took out the note. At the top of it was the address 23 Adelaide Villas, Maida Vale, London.

Dear Miss Greenham,

I don’t know whether I’m right in this, but it is something I must do.

Would you please give this letter to Major Merrivale? I don’t know whether I should write to him in this way, but as he is in your hospital and he should know what’s happening, I had to. I thought you looked like a kind young lady, and perhaps I could explain to you. But as you are away, I don’t want to trust it with anyone else.

I saw your picture in the paper with the gentleman who won the medal and there was a bit about the hospital. I just thought you looked like the sort who would understand and help me.

Would you give this letter to Major Merrivale as soon as you can? I hope it won’t be too late. It is very important to someone.

Yours truly,

Miss Emma Johns

I sat for a moment reading the letter and wondering what it could mean. Hadn’t the stableman told her that Major Merrivale was no longer at the hospital? Of course not. She had not mentioned his name. She had just asked for me. It was clear that she did not want to tell anyone else to get a message to him. It must be something very important as she would only entrust it with me…because I had a kind face!

It was very mysterious.

Obviously I should get the letter to Major Merrivale without delay. But I did not know where he was. I had heard that he had a small pied-à-terre in London, but where, I did not know. Nor had I ever heard the address of his home in the country.

Annabelinda could help me. But would it be wise to give her the letter? I detected some urgent plea in the note addressed to me that I alone should deliver the envelope.

I was not sure what to do.

I read the note again. 23 Adelaide Villas, Maida Vale. As I was in London, I could go there. I could explain to Miss Emma Johns that the major was no longer at the hospital and that I did not know how to reach him, unless she would wish me to pass on the letter to his fiancée.