"Lydia!" I cried and sat up in bed.
Then I saw what it was and, getting out of bed, half shut the window. It seemed quite chilly.
I went back to bed but not to sleep. I kept going over days long ago, remembering Lydia.
But in the morning I forgot her and was out in the fields laughing with the rest of them.
John came with us to London. He was going to Kensington which he did after putting us on the train to Moldenbury.
"It was a wonderful week," said Teresa. "Oh, I do like John."
The holiday was coming to an end. The next day Teresa and I would leave for Colby.
On that last night, after everyone else had retired Aunt Patty came to my room for one of her chats.
"It was a very happy holiday after all," she said. "I like the Markhams."
"Yes, what a happy family. I think they are all feeling the loss of Lydia."
Aunt Patty was silent for a few seconds. Then she said: "I think John Markham is half way to falling in love with you, Cordelia."
"Oh, Aunt Patty, I've known him such a short time. You're very romantic."
"I know you think I'm an ignoramus in these matters because I am an old spinster living in the country. But I do send to Mudies for my three-volume novels and the goings on in them is something of an eye-opener, even to a silly old spinster like me."
I put my arms round her and kissed her. "I don't allow disparaging remarks about you, even when you make them yourself."
"It was such a lovely house." She looked a little wistful. "I often think of your being married and having babies. Do you know, I should love some babies."
"Oh, dear Aunt Patty. I'm sorry I can't oblige."
"You will one day, I don't doubt. I just thought what a lovely household that was... how friendly and easy to get on with. I think John Markham is such a good man. You could put your trust in him. You'd know that he would always be there when needed ... to do what was best."
"I'm sure he's all that."
"I daresay we shall be seeing more of him."
I laughed. "You're weaving dreams of romance, Aunt Patty."
"Do you think they are only dreams? I know the signs. You smile. That is because you are considering my lack of experience in such matters. I am not wholly ignorant. I might have married once... only it went wrong."
"You never told me."
"It was not worth telling. He met someone else."
"What a fool he must have been."
"He was very happy, I believe. Life is a matter of taking the right road at the right time. Time is the important thing ... opportunity too ... and they must come together. The important thing is to recognize the opportunity while there is time. Cordelia, when the time comes, you must make the right choice. Good night, my dearest child."
She held me tightly against her.
"I was always comforted when you held me like that," I said. "You did, the first time we met. I remember the hat and the smell of lavender ... and it was just the same then."
"It will always be, Cordelia," she said.
Then she kissed me and went out.
The Alarming Discovery
THE new term had begun. Daisy called her usual pre-school conference and we were all assembled in her study. "We will do our best," she said, "to forget the events of last term. The girls should be under closer supervision when they are out ... even riding. It was fortunate that the girl involved was Fiona Verringer and that it was from her own home that she finally escaped, and not the school. If it had been one of the others, there could have been unpleasant difficulties with the parents. However, we must guard against such eventualities. I gather from Sir Jason Verringer that he has no idea of the whereabouts of Fiona and her husband, though he actually visited the Continent in search of them. Well, we will hope for a more peaceful term. We don't want too much gossip among the girls. The incident should not be referred to. Girls are inclined to admire those who do foolish things. Another elopement would be a disaster for the school. So ... that matter is closed.
"It would be a good idea to get them started on some entertainment for the Christmas festivities. It seems early to think of that, but it would keep the girls' minds occupied. Say scenes from Shakespeare ... little extracts which they could act before the school. It makes for excitement and speculation and keeps their minds busy.
"Miss Grant, I am putting Charlotte Mackay back in Eugenie Verringer's room. They were together originally and have always been good friends. I thought it would help Eugenie. She must be missing her sister. She spent her holiday at the Mackay's place up north near Berwick. I don't want Eugenie brooding too much about her sister. It was a good idea to let her go to the Mackay's place rather than stay at the Hall to be reminded that her sister was no longer there. Eugenie's is not a very placid temperament to begin with and girls like that can be difficult in so many ways.
"There is a new girl. Margaret Keyes. She seems a pleasant creature. She can go into Charlotte's place with Patricia Cartwright."
She went on to discuss other aspects of the term and finally we were dismissed to go to our rooms and "settle in" as she called it.
That night I made my rounds. They were all safely in their beds and seemed demure enough, even Charlotte and Eugenie, though Charlotte did give me a somewhat triumphant look as though to remind me of that first night at school when there had been a contretemps over who should sleep in whose room.
The first few days passed uneventfully until one night when I was awakened from sleep by a figure standing by my bed and I heard a voice saying urgently: "Miss Grant. Miss Grant."
I started up. Charlotte was standing there. "Charlotte!" I cried. "What's wrong?"
"It's Eugenie," she said. "She's ill."
I hastily put on my dressing gown and slippers and followed her to their bedroom. Eugenie was lying back looking very white; there were beads of perspiration on her forehead. It felt clammy.
I said: "Go for Miss Hetherington at once."
Charlotte, who seemed really frightened, quickly obeyed.
Daisy was soon at the bedside, her fine white hair in two plaits tied with pale blue ribbon, but she looked as much in command as ever.
"Eugenie is ill!" she said. She leaned over the girl.
"Do you think we should get the doctor?" I asked. She shook her head. "Not just yet. It's probably only a bilious attack. We don't want the girls to know. They exaggerate so. There is some sal volatile in my room. Will you go and get it, Charlotte. It is in the cupboard on the right hand side."
Charlotte went.
"She has probably eaten something which doesn't agree with her," said Daisy. "It happens now and then. What did they have for supper?"
"It was fish. And then they had their milk and biscuits before retiring."
"It must have been the fish. Give her half an hour. If she's no better then, I'll call the doctor." Charlotte returned with the sal volatile.
"There," said Daisy. "That's better."
Eugenie opened her eyes.
"Do you feel better now, dear?" asked Daisy in that brisk voice which demanded an affirmative. "Yes, Miss Hetherington."
"Felt iii, did you?"
"Yes, Miss Hetherington ... sick and dizzy." "Well, lie still. Miss Grant and I will stay here until you go to sleep and we know you are all right." "Thank you," said Eugenie.
"Charlotte, you should get into bed. You can keep your eye on Eugenie, but we shall be here for a while. It is only a common bilious attack. The fish couldn't have agreed with her."
How magnificent she was, our Daisy! No general could ever have given more confidence to his troops. One knew that with Daisy in command everything must work according to plan.
Yet ... there had been the elopement. But then she had known nothing about that until it was a fait accompli.
Eugenie had closed her eyes. She was breathing more easily and looked much better.
"I think she's asleep," said Daisy. "She looks more like herself." She touched Eugenie's forehead. "No fever," she whispered.
After five minutes of silence she rose and said: "I think we can return to our beds now. Charlotte, if Eugenie needs anything you'll wake Miss Grant. And if necessary come for me."
"Yes, Miss Hetherington."
"Good night, Charlotte. We look to you to keep an eye on Eugenie."
"Yes, Miss Hetherington. Good night. Good night, Miss Grant."
Outside my room Daisy paused. "She'll be all right in the morning. As I thought, a touch of biliousness. Charlotte did well. Do you know, I think that girl would improve considerably if she had something to do. If she felt herself useful ..
What do you think?"
"I'm sure of it."
"Well, we must watch them both," said Daisy. "I don't think we shall be troubled again tonight." I went to bed. I was tired and soon asleep.
In the morning Eugenie was better-almost herself, but I thought she should take a rest. She didn't want to. She was rather ashamed of being
"I'm all right really, Miss Grant. I don't know what it was but I just felt a bit funny."
"I think you should have a rest this afternoon." "Oh no, Miss Grant."
"`Yes, Eugenie. That sort of attack does weaken you more than you realize. I insist that you have a rest this afternoon. You can read or perhaps Charlotte will be with you."
She agreed rather ungraciously.
It must have been about three o'clock when I went to my room and remembering that Eugenie was resting, I thought I would look in and see if she had obeyed my orders.
The door was closed but I heard the sound of giggles coming from behind it. I guessed Charlotte was with her.
I hesitated, but decided to look in. I tapped at the door. There was a brief silence so I opened it and went in.
Eugenie was lying on her bed and Charlotte was stretched out on hers. On the chair sat Elsa. "Oh," I said.
"You told me to rest," replied Eugenie.
"We came to cheer her up," said Elsa grinning at me.
"You certainly seem to have done that. How are you feeling, Eugenie?"
"All right," said Eugenie.
"Good. Very well, you can get up when you want to."
"Thank you, Miss Grant."
As I went out and shut the door the giggles continued.
I thought about Elsa. She certainly did not behave like a servant and I wondered, as I had on other occasions, whether I should reprimand her for consorting with the girls as though she were one of them rather than a housemaid. But she always contrived to remind me by a look of the old times at Schaffenbrucken when she had behaved with me and my friends rather in the same way as she was with Eugenie and Charlotte. It was one of the disadvantages of being in a position like mine, when someone who had known you as a schoolgirl was present. One could hardly reprimand others for what one had done oneself. Perhaps the most extraordinary aspect was that Charlotte, known to us all as something of a snob, should be so friendly with a servant.
However, I did not think very much more about the incident.
There was a letter for me from John Markham. He asked me what it felt like to be back at school after the holidays. "That was an unforgettable week we all had together," he wrote. "I felt we had all known each other for years. Why ever didn't Lydia ask you for holidays? We might have known each other earlier. I do wish I could see you. Is it taboo to visit the school? I suppose it would not be considered quite comme il faut. Isn't there something called a half term? Do you go home? Perhaps it is rather a long way for such a short time. It wouldn't be quite so far to come to London. I'd like you to meet my brother Charles. Perhaps you and Teresa could visit us? Do think about it."
I did think about it and it was rather enticing. I did not mention it to. Teresa because I felt it would raise her hopes and I was not sure whether I should go.
I was still suffering from the shock of my encounter with Jason Verringer in the Devil's Den at Colby Hall. It had disturbed me even more than I had thought at the time. I could not stop thinking of him and my mind built up images of what might have happened if I had not made that dramatic gesture in thrusting my hands through the window. It had been a hopeless gesture in any case. I should never have been able to elude him if he was determined to catch me. And if I had managed to get through the window would I have jumped from the top of the tower? What I had implied was that I preferred death to submission to him. It was foolhardy. Yet it had sobered him. He had been really shocked to see the blood on my hands.
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